Book 1 Chapter 3: The beginnings of a frightening existence amongst its peers
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Of course, no day could end without a place to sleep, so I asked about where I should sleep, or if I had to find my own accommodations outside the Association, which caused Master Chen to smack his forehead.

 

“Oh, right. I’m so stupid. Sorry, come with me, and I’ll get you situated at the dorms. Since you’re new... I’m sorry, but you’ll have to start from the bottom. Fortunately, the ranking test is the day after tomorrow”

“Start from the... bottom? The ranking test? What do you mean... by that?”

“Again, I’m an idiot. I keep forgetting that you don’t know how this stuff works. The dorms are actually a long row of numbered rooms that everyone, from fresh Pill Apprentices to veteran Pill Masters, reside in, with the sole exception of the Pill Grandmasters. The lower the number on the room, the better. The bottom is thus actually the highest numbered room... Oh, what I mean by better is that the rooms come with perks, such as credits for purchasing materials... which your Pill Master rank provides enough of, I think... as well as access to recipes... that doesn’t really matter to you... and priority on rare materials, as well as a daily salary of spirit stones. The better rooms also come with better pill furnaces. All of this make sense to you so far?”

 

I think I understand that, but what I don’t know is how one gets a better room. I guess it’s this ranking test thing, but...

 

“Yes, it does... anything more on... the rooms? Or is it now... time to explain... the ranking test?”

“I think that’s it for the rooms, besides the fact that most people tend to bully those with worse ranks, that is to say, worse rooms. Even if you are a Pill Master, if you can’t hold a good room, a Pill Apprentice with a good room might feel confident enough to sneer at you. Just, be warned”

 

That makes... little to no sense, but okay, I’ll keep that in mind.

 

“Now, onto the ranking test. Every month, the grandmasters give everyone a list of about half a dozen useful but challenging pill recipes, ranging from first tier pills for Pill Apprentices to pills even a Pill Master would find nigh impossible. Depending on the difficulty, they are each worth a set amount of points, and that amount is then increased by the base points multiplied by the purity of the pill you create on the day of the test”

“What are - no, I’ll wait”

“Everyone has a month to practice those recipes as much as they want to, in addition to their other duties and studies. On the day of the test, you pick one recipe, and have two chances to make the pill. Failure twice is counted as obtaining the base points for the lower pill targeted at your rank. Then, once everyone is done and their pills are graded, they are ranked in order of points obtained in that test and move to the according room”

 

That makes sense, I guess. Unlike that sense of superiority that transcends ranks based on room numbers. Sure, someone could mess up, but still... Only problem I see is having to move all of your belongings to a new room as someone else is moving theirs out of it.


“That’s the system. One can also challenge those within fifty rooms of yours, and exchange rooms if you win. The challenged has the right to decline or to choose the pill both have to refine, and once someone wins a challenge, that person is unable to be challenged again that month, though he could still challenge another person within fifty rooms of his new one”

 

Well, that seems unfair to the challenger. What if the challenged person knows a pill formula that nobody else knows? He would win every time! Just add in two randomized formulae that both of them should know well enough at their level, and... well, that leaves it to luck, somewhat. Still... It’s so hard to design a fair system, I’m not gonna try.

 

“What are... this month’s pills... and points for each?”

“This month’s pills... let’s see, the lowest is the basic Mending pill, worth 10 points. After that is the Spirit Replenishing pill, worth 20 points. For Pill Adepts, we have the basic Fasting pill, worth 30 points, and the Spirit Condensation pill, worth 40. Masters have the High Healing pill, worth 50, and the Spirit Surge pill, worth 60” 

“What were you talking about with... pills even a Pill Master... would find nigh impossible?”

“Glad you asked. That brings us to the bonus recipe, which is worth 100 points. This time, it‘s the Spendthrift’s Fast pill, a fasting pill that both lasts a long time, usually around half a year to a year for ordinary people, and, unlike a normal fasting pill, doesn’t taste like horseshit. Ah, here’s your room, number 773... and if you need me, I’m in number 6”

 

He opened the door to a shabby room that looked like it hadn’t been dusted in years, and had just a bed, an empty bookcase, and a low-quality pill furnace with a wobbly table next to it.

 

“Hold on... give me... an hour... will you?”

“Yeah, sure. May I ask why?”

“I want to try... the furnace... and a recipe”

“Need me to grab some materials for you?”

“Would you help me... with that? Thank you”

 

He brought me to the ingredient hall, got me registered there, and I took out several batches worth of 17 different materials.

 

“What pill do you want to refine?”

 

He only thought to ask the question once I was preparing a batch of materials, which I found a bit funny.

 

“Faster’s Delight... It’s a pill... a lot like... the bonus recipe”

“Eh? The Spendthrift’s Fast pill requires 67 materials, and is one of the most annoying pills to make!”

“I want to see... if this will pass... as that pill”

 

Without another word from either of us, I began to make it. He didn’t say anything because he was dumbstruck, I because I had to focus on what I was doing. Two hours and one furnace explosion later, I had a single light green pill in my hand, at a barely passable 41% purity. Even so, it’d still last for eight months, and would taste like mint tea.

 

“This could almost pass, save for the fact that the taste should be like slightly earthy water and almost nonexistent, the less taste the better, and the pill should be cherry red. The effect is the same, though”

“So... remove... the dragonmint leaf, add in... a bloodflower petal? No... lovers’ heart zest? Yeah...”

 

I went back to the ingredient hall, got exactly that one ingredient, and spent another hour making another pill. At 44% purity, it was bright red and perfectly tasteless, and Master Chen said it could pass for Spendthrift’s Fast without any problems, if I didn’t fail to make it take as long as Spendthrift’s Fast normally takes. I spent the rest of the night practicing the Faster’s Delight pill recipe, with the modification. I got up to about 52% consistently, with my highest being 57%. That was entirely a fluke, I think, but I also caused a furnace explosion once every three tries. 

I came out for breakfast, and was immediately confronted by a large man in the orange robes of a Pill Adept, backed by a few dozen other people, mostly Pill Apprentices. His black hair was messy, and his eastern accent was the same as Master Chen’s, likely hailing from the Land of Red Flowers.

 

“Good meowrning... what can I do... for you all?”

“Who do you think you are, blowing up your furnace in the middle of the night? I got no sleep, thanks t... wait... red robes? A Pill Master? What are you doing in the shittiest room here?”

“Simple... I’m new here”

 

I flashed him a grin as I said that I was also working on a new pill, before brushing past them to get to the mess hall. He followed me, dumbstruck, and almost sat down at the Pill Master’s table before realizing what he was doing, and that the rest of the crowd that followed me, and by extension, him, was laughing at his expense, so he went to the Pill Adepts’ tables with a bright red face that matched my robes. Seeing that, Mia spoke with a bit of a laugh.

 

“Who’s that? A new friend?”

“Someone trying to... mess with the newbie... not realizing that... the newbie is... a Pill Master”

“Ha! Serves him right. Mia, Tama, that’s my granddisciple, and he’s a fucking pain in the ass at times”

“Whag hith nabe... sorry, what’s his name and rank?”

“Antonius, don’t talk with your mouth full”

 

Seriously, this conversation has repeatedly shattered my image of Pill Masters. Swearing for no reason (I think), talking with a full mouth, laughing at the sorrows of their granddisciple, everything is different than what I thought they’d be like: proud and aloof, perfect in almost every way. They seem... quite human. I know, who am I to talk about being human, considering the fact that I am a cat.

 

“I already said sorry... anyways, Little Chen, my question?”

“He’s rank 741, was promoted to Pill Adept last week, and had terrible luck on the last exam. His name is Song Li, and is the 23 year old son and disciple of my least favorite former disciple, Song Bai. And don’t call me Little Chen, understand? Unless you want the same treatment”

“Song Bai... He’s the one you threw off the roof a few years back? Do I have that right?”

 

Note to self: absolutely never piss Master Chen off either. Did I make the right choice in taking him as my master?

 

“No comment. Still... it’s not like him to pick on the newbies for no reason”

“He said... he couldn’t sleep... with the sound of... my furnace explosions... going off... every few hours”

“Ah shit... I forgot to tell you. There’s a button by the door, it activates a sound isolation barrier that prevents sounds within the room from leaking out and disturbing other rooms, and vice versa. Most people have it active all the time, but this idiot didn’t think to turn it on after the first time, it seems! Ha!”

 

Master Chen laughed as Antonius chipped in.

 

“And the others that followed you two must be similarly mentally impaired, assuming they were also there to complain at you. Am I right?”

“One of them is my new disciple, you know. She’s only rank 755, but she’s been practicing the Fasting pill and is quite good at it, and so she’s going to reach the top 300, I think. Tama, what’re you going for?”

 

I flashed her a grin as Master Chen began to laugh.

 

“No... you wouldn’t be...”

“Spendthrift’s Fast”

“BASTARD! SON OF A BITCH! MADMAN! IDI-”

“Calm down!”

 

This outburst from Mia attracted everyone’s attention, including Grandmaster White, who came over to ask what happened to make her shout so many expletives like that.

 

“Err... it was just Tama’s choice of pill to go for in the ranking test this month. He’s going for the bonus”

“I was hoping he’d make a wise choice and get a better room, instead of... wait, it’s Tama. He’s probably going to cut the pill’s ingredient list down to ten and the time needed to half an hour”

“Seventeen... and an hour... but yes”

“If you can pull it off, I can guarantee you’d get one of the top hundred spots. Hell, I’ll make an exception and give you a third try for half points if you fail twice”

 

As he spoke, other alchemists were walking over and some could hear the second half of what he said.

 

“Grandmaster White, no fair! If you’re giving him that chance, give it to us too!”

“Adept Feng, if you were working on an improved version of a pill, I’d be willing to give you that chance. However... in any other case, you shouldn’t need a third try, right?”

“I... no. Are you saying this kid is working on an experimental formula for the test?”

“This so-called kid... happens to be... a Pill Master. Yes... I’m working on... a new formula”

“What’s up with the way you sp... I’ll leave now”

 

She was going to comment on my slow speech, wasn’t she? She left in a bit of a hurry when I glared at her, my teeth ripping open a grilled fish as I did. Many others left, though some stayed to listen further. I chewed my large mouthful of food and swallowed it, bones and all, before thanking Grandmaster White.

 

“No, I should be the one to thank you. Your improved pill formulae have meant that we now can make more money on some pills even though we’ve reduced the prices on them. More people will get access to needed pills, we get more money too, it’s a win-win situation, thanks to you”

 

As I tried to deflect the overzealous praise, one of the Masters I didn’t recognize chipped in with a question

 

“He’s done things like this before?”

“Unfortunately, that’s all he does... It gives me quite the headache sometimes, and I’ve only known him for two days. I wish he’d do something the normal way for once - OW!”

 

I kicked Master Chen, again, and told him not to talk about me as though I was an unruly child.

 

“Technically speaking, you are somewhat unruly, and you are technically a child, as you’re under fifteen years old and also are not yet level 20. As such-”

“Master Mia, shut up... with your ‘technically’ bullshit”

“I don’t want to hear that kind of language from a child... words like ‘bullshit’ and ‘shut up’ are not something a child should be saying”

 

Oh, he’s SO going to regret making that comment. How to do it... Oh, I know. I have a formula that will make a really noisome pill, which only starts to dissolve and release its foul scent after a few hours from when it was exposed to water. I’ll make it today, bring it to dinner, and drop it into his pocket after dripping some water onto it during dinner. He’ll go to his room, take off his robes, go to sleep, and wake up nauseous and needing a new set of robes, a bath, and a deep cleaning of his room. Not necessarily in that order. I’ll also leave Master Antonius a note, saying something like ‘don’t say anything you don’t want a child to be saying’. Yeah, I like this plan.

 

“Tama... what does that smile mean? I’m scared... and it’s not even directed at me”

“It means... I’m a bit mad... and someone is going... to rue the day... they did... what they just did”

 

Mia shrank into her seat upon hearing that.

 

“Is it too late to say sorry?”

“It’s not you... but yes... it’s too late”

“Oh gods... You probably have a hair loss pill or something in that head of yours. I know you said it’s too late, but I’m still going to say it. I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’mso-”

“Oh, be quiet... will you? I’m not going to... do permanent harm... just make you squirm... for a while. And you’re already bald”

 

People were edging away from the Masters’ table, and Grandmaster White went back to his food too. I began to eat more, and downed several times a normal person’s portion of food, mostly meat, poultry, and fish. Especially the fish. That’s one of the benefits of being in a large city near both the ocean and a large lake. We have plenty of both saltwater and freshwater fish, as well as shellfish, mollusks, and so on.

The day of the ranking exam rolled around (in other words, the next day) and Master Antonius was nowhere to be found, despite his disciples all expecting him to be there. Hell, so were the other Pill Masters, and even Grandmaster White was surprised he wasn’t in attendance. Half an hour late, he ran up to the large hall where everyone was, his hair dripping wet and still vaguely smelling like year-old shit mixed with month-old rotten egg and who knows what else. The pill I used, known as the Debilitation Aroma pill, uses millennial ginkgo fruit, rafflesia pollen, and cemetery bee honey, among fourteen other ingredients. It was then wrapped in dozens of layers of alternating hydrosoluble shells and shells that released tiny amounts of water as they dissolved upon contact with air, to form a time-release variant of the pill. Master Antonius marched up to me, mutely stared me in the face for several seconds, and turned to go to his spot. I made a comment that followed him as he left, causing him to pause as he turned to reply.

 

“Impressive... you didn’t say anything... you wouldn’t-”

“Shut up”

 

Oh, he’s mad alright. Was this too petty? Too extreme? Whatever, Grandmaster White is saying something, so I’d better listen to him instead of thinking about that.

 

“Now that everyone has gathered, it’s time to explain how all of this works for the new people. First, the Pill Adepts and above will assist in the preparations of the Pill Apprentices, in other words, the Pill Apprentices will select a pill to refine, and will be given two sets of ingredients for that pill by the Pill Adepts, before going to the specially prepared rooms to refine the pill in peace. After all the Pill Apprentices have begun to refine their pills, the Pill Adepts will be helped by our Pill Masters the same way, and the Pill Grandmasters will assist the Pill Masters after that. We Pill Grandmasters will be patrolling the rooms, grading your performance as well, and the seniors who finish early will do so as well once they are done”

 

After he said that, he explained the various pills and their point values, as well as the grading system in general. He then opened himself and the Pill Masters to the nonexistent questions people might have. After a while, I began to help people, who did seem surprised that someone my age was a Pill Master they’d never heard of or seen before, but I didn’t take questions so as to not hold up the line. An hour and a half later, I began to help Pill Adepts, and an hour after that, I myself was at the end of the line of Pill Masters. When I got to the front, Grandmaster White asked me what ingredients I would need and in what quantities, obtained them for me quickly, and led me to his personal refinement room, where I was to work on my pill.

 

“Oh, I never asked, how long will this take?”

“An hour... or two. Depends on whether or not... I fail the first time”

“Well, I’ll just watch the entire time, since I can take that much time off without any problems”

 

I succeeded with my first batch, but decided to try again to improve my score, as I’d only gotten a 50% purity. The second time, I got to 54%, and then went with Grandmaster White to inspect the other Pill Masters’ work. As I did so, I again realized just how hard it would be for me to refine pills the way they did, due to my lack of spiritual strength and the overcomplicated formulae they were using. I need to find a way to increase my spirit quickly... Fortunately, I have a wise(?) lion ready to answer most questions I might throw at him.

 

[There are a few ways open for you. You can absorb spirit from the heavens and earth, but that’s slow, and there’s another problem too. Pills can assist you, but you’ll develop a resistance if you rely on them too much. If you could kill people or spirit beasts, you could absorb part of their spirit and increase your own that way as well, but you’re too weak at the moment, so that’s also not a good choice. There’s nothing much to do about it. You have all the time in the world, after all]

[What’s the other problem with absorbing it from the heavens and earth?]

[Well... you’re a void spirit cultivator. The heavens hate that, and so as you get stronger, you can absorb less and less of the energy from the heavens and earth. After level 30, you can’t absorb any at all, and will have to rely on pills and killing. Lots and lots of killing and huge numbers of pills]

[If that’s what it takes, so be it. Of course, I want to not just kill indiscriminately...]

“Tama... Tama!”

“Hmm? What is it?”

 

It would appear that Grandmaster White had been trying to get my attention for a little while.

 

“I asked you, what did you think of that last Pill Adept’s technique?”

 

The Pill Adept in question was processing the materials while other ones were inside the furnace, as opposed to the standard method of doing so beforehand as much as possible.

 

“It seems like... the proverbial double-edged sword. On one hand... the essence is more fresh... the way he does it... on the other hand... it splits the alchemist’s attention... between processing the materials... and refining the pill... increasing the likelihood... of making a mistake. There are pills that require... such a method... or to have an assistant... who is processing materials... as the alchemist is refining them... but for an ordinary pill... such as the Spirit Condensation pill... that he is making... it seems to be... a waste of effort... if not detrimental in effect”

“Well done. I would like to add that he might have made the mista-”

 

Just then, the Pill Adept’s furnace exploded, and Grandmaster White gave a wry smile before he spoke once more.

 

“As I was saying, I would like to add that he made the mistake of setting the ginseng out of reach, meaning that he would have to interrupt the refinement to grab it. It would appear that he doesn’t have enough control over his spirit to use it to open a spatial ring while also using his spirit in the refinement process of a pill”

“Is it normal... to have that problem?”

“For anyone below Pill Master level, yes. There’s a reason that the pill used in the test to advance to Pill Master is the High Healing pill, which has over two hundred materials and twice as many steps. It forces the alchemist to use a spatial ring... wait, your formula barely has twenty steps and about as many materials. Hold on... You don’t have a spatial ring yet, do you? That explains how you were able to not know about the difficulty in using one. Come, let’s get you a spatial ring!”

 

That would assist me in covering up my ability to store items in my void spirit realm, something more convenient than a spatial ring, because it doesn’t require me to use spirit to remove things from it, only a thought. Without another word, Grandmaster White began to lead me through the winding halls towards the general supply store. Five minutes later, I had a shiny new spatial ring, which was made from... well, nobody knows what they’re made from, besides those who make them. It looks to be made from simple iron and a gilded edge on one side, but it most definitely is not made from iron nor partially covered in gold. I quickly stored some of my less-important items that had piled up in my void spirit realm into the spatial ring, which had an interior volume of about ten meters cubed.

 

“Onwards, to the next Pill Adept!”

[Leon, why do I get the feeling that he’s enjoying this a bit too much?]

[That is probably because he is]

 

Fair enough. We watched several dozen more Pill Adepts as they made their pills, caught one who tried to swap the fresh one for a pre-concocted one of a higher quality, and witnessed three more furnace explosions in person. We graded a half a dozen successful pills, and then split up so that I could do it for some of the Pill Adepts while Grandmaster White watched and graded the Pill Masters. Without Grandmaster White there to back me up, I had... mixed results. Some were fine, others...

 

“What do you mean, 43% purity? This is clearly at least 55% purity!”

“Why should a brat who doesn’t know a healing pill from poison tell me my score?”

“Who are you to judge my skills? I...”

“You’re blind! This pill is worth 64 points, not...”

“Who let this retarded pipsqueak in?”

 

My response to all five of those Pill Adepts was the same. Complete and utter soul-shattering no-nonsense verbal smackdowns.

 

“Fine. I won’t give you... your low score. Instead, for trying to argue... with a Pill Master... about your score... you get a failure. Try to make the pill... again. Or, accept the base... 30 points. Your choice”

 

Everyone chose to make the pill again, save for the person who’d already had one failure beforehand. He was unhappy, but at least he knew that if he pushed me further, I might choose to mark him as getting fewer than 30 points. Well, no. Sorry, I lied. There was one more, one who didn’t make the pill again, and instead doubled down on insisting his pill was far better than the 36% purity it was.

 

“A FAILURE? I never make a failure of a pill. And now that I look more closely at this pill, it’s not at 65% purity, but 80%! Get it through your thick skull, and write this down! Pill. Adept. Tai. Li. Made. An. Eighty. Percent. Purity. Spirit. Condensation. Pill! That is worth 72 points! Or else you’re dead! DEAD!”

“Get this through... your own thick skull. Background... doesn’t matter here. You insulted a Pill Master... and threatened him. You get ZERO points. Pack your things... and go to your room. You are not... to take a single step... out of it... until it’s time to move... to your new room”

 

Of course, he snapped. He swung his fist at me, backed by the power of a level 21 cultivation base. I let him break my nose and then blacken my eye, and then I grabbed his nose and forced a fistful of herb powder into his mouth and down his throat, even as he ripped out some of my hair. The only injury on him was a slightly sore nose, as I’d broken a bit of the cartilage, though not enough to count it as a broken nose. The herb powder, which was crushed nightbloom stamens, was often used to treat insomnia. In miniscule doses, I might add. He swallowed enough for about fifty extra-strength doses. It knocked him out instantly, and I carried him to his room, put a scent-based anti-narcoleptic into the room, and figured he’d wake up after about an hour or three. 

I wished I could have locked his door from the outside myself, but I couldn’t. I instead went to see Grandmaster White, who promptly demoted Tai Li from a level two Pill Adept to a level four Pill Apprentice. He just replaced every set of robes in Tai Li’s room with level four Pill Apprentice robes, and left a note saying to return the set he was wearing by the end of the day or have it stripped from him on his way out of the Association. In the meantime, I downed a healing pill, and then a second one when the first didn’t quite finish the job, and went back to work. 

 

Three days passed, and the results were announced. I got 154 points, skyrocketing me to third place, behind Master Antonius, who got first place with 166 points, and someone I didn’t know, Master Wang, who came in second with 161 points. Master Chen took fourth place, as he got 109 points with an 81% purity Spirit Surge pill. Master Mia dropped from fifth to sixth, and a three stripe Pill Adept got fifth place, surprisingly. That was cause to promote him to five stripe Pill Adept. Even so, the most shocking thing to most was that a person nobody had heard of before got third place all of a sudden. Well, not quite as shocking to those who’d gotten a verbal beatdown from me, since they’d not only heard of me, but seen my skill with judging pills and the fact that I was a Pill Master. However, they were instead surprised by the fact that someone who - based on appearances - was a child, somehow managed to get third place.

For days afterwards, people would be waiting outside of my door to see who exactly was the new and mysterious ‘Master Tama’ that caused such an upset in the rankings. The first day, I had to push through the throng of people three times, once when I entered, and twice when I left. The second day, I put up a sign telling people who wanted to see that they had to line up and leave a path open for me, or I’d release a stench pill on the entire crowd. That backfired. I went to breakfast while wearing more casual clothing than the hot-as-all-hell thick red robes, and then, when I tried to get back into my room... Well, this happened.

 

“Get back in line, idiotic brat!”

“What are you... talking ab- WOAH! Put me down!”

“This is the path for Master Tama! Get out of it, before we all stink like the devil!”

 

As he spoke, the burly Pill Apprentice picked me up and, quite literally, threw me over the group of people to the back of the crowd. I tried again, and this time, he blackened my eye to interrupt me, before he threw me outside of the group. The third time, I decided I had had enough. I pulled out a set of Pill Master’s robes, held them in my arms, and when I neared him, he walked out of the crowd to grab me. As he did, I unfolded the robes, and put them on over my now rumpled casual clothing. His face paled, and I blackened his eye. Well, I tried to. I don’t think I had enough power to do so with a simple punch, but that’s all I used.

 

“An eye for an eye. Literally. I could get away with... quite a bit more... but... I’ll put you on... trash duty instead. Anyone here... have a problem with that?”

 

The crowd stood ramrod straight, their voices overlapping as the majority said the same thing in unison.

 

“No problems, Master Tama!”

“Good. Now... I have a question. Are alchemists... allowed to have pets?”

“If the pet does not interfere with the work of others, and is not detrimental to the affairs of the Association, pets are permissible for those at or above level three Pill Adept, Master Tama!”

“Thank you. For that information... I shall gift you... a Jade Spirit pill. Use it wisely... to assist in.. a difficult cultivation breakthrough... or to recover your spirit... in a pinch. And please... tell me your name”

“A WHAT NOW?! Oh... uh... I am Percy, level four Pill Adept... Thank you for this kindness, Master Tama. I shall... I shall pay it back in the future”

 

I tossed him a bottle with a single Jade Spirit pill inside of it, and then turned and strode into my room, leaving a few words behind as I did.

 

“It’s nothing, Adept Percy... I have plenty of those things”

“Haaa? Uh... oh, right... I should warn you that Master Chen... ah, there he is”

 

As he spoke, the door to my room slid open, and revealed Master Chen, who was waiting for me inside of my room. He beckoned, and I entered, wondering if it was normal to have someone beckon you into your own residence here.

 

“Tama, I have good news, better news, and... uh... just normal news. The good news is that the formula for the Jade Spirit pill has been bought by the Association, but you won’t be getting any money immediately. The better news is that the pills will be sold to the public, for a high but reasonable price, and that you will get 15% of the profit from their sales. The... news... is that you’re going to have to spend some time working the sales department, like every new alchemist in the Association. The robes you’ll wear are blue, so the customers won’t know that you are a Pill Master. That could be both a good thing and a bad thing, depending on the situation. Now, I have to give you some lessons on how to conduct yourself...”

 

He droned on and on for over an hour, but I learned how to work the reception and sales desks afterwards, when he actually taught me, instead of lecturing uselessly. I need the hands-on tutoring, especially with my speech and height problems. Fortunately, the counter is low enough that I can see over it, but I’m still short and slow to speak. Hey, my speech has improved, I can sometimes string together six words! Once or twice, I managed seven! But... I still pause too much. I’ve only been able to have human vocal cords for a month and a half, after all. I asked Master Chen about pets, and he said that the only thing needed was for them to have a tag somewhere, usually on a collar or anklet, stating who their owner is. Those collars and tags could be purchased at the Association’s living goods store, for about the same price as a simple Spirit Replenishing pill, in other words, five spirit stones.

 

“Oh, right. I’ve never seen you with an animal before. What kind is it, and what’s his or her name?”

“He’s a cat. I’ll send him over to your room... the next time he deigns... to make an appearance. I have yet to decide... on a name. He seems to respond to my name... for some reason... So maybe he was called Tama... before master picked him up?”

 

We talked for a bit longer, and, after he left, I bought a red collar with a single black stripe, as well as a lightweight tag that hung from it, upon which was carved ‘Pill Master Tama’. I then went back to my room, opened the window a bit, and changed into my original form, then put on the collar, and jumped out through the open window. I wandered around for a while, was given a half-eaten fish, and found a spot to bask in the sun.

 

“Nyaa... (Oh, how good it feels to do this again. It’s only been a week or so, but... I’ve built up a lot of stress in that short time. I’ll go find Master Chen after a quick nap)”

 

Unfortunately, while I was napping, it started to rain. A lot. I got soaked, and just ran for the doors to the living areas, whereupon I shook myself mostly dry, and then plopped down in front of the hearth as I washed my now disheveled fur. After a while, I padded down the hallway towards Master Chen’s room, and upon finding it, I lay down on the doorstep to wait for him, as he had indicated that he was not inside of his room. I didn’t have to wait long, as a few minutes later, he approached from down the hall leading to the lesson rooms, looked at my room, which had the sign saying that I was busy refining pills and a large group of people waiting in front of it, and then saw me waiting for him. He crouched down, looked at the tag on my neck, and I jumped onto his shoulders, instantly settling down as though I was a scarf, my tail wrapping around his throat as my head rested beneath his ear. This did not go unnoticed by those waiting by my room, and they quickly asked when and where he got such a wonderful pet.

 

“It’s not mine, it’s Tama’s cat... who is also named Tama. This is actually the first time I’m meeting this cat, so I don’t know why he’s acting so friendly towards me”

 

It wasn’t hard to be in that position, so I just stayed like that for almost an hour, until he had me get off so he could refine some pills. All of us Masters, well, all alchemists, have a quota of Spirit Replenishing type pills to fill each month. The higher the alchemist’s rank, the more they have to make, but, the Spirit Condensation pill is worth 10, and the Spirit Surge pill is worth 30, so it’s not as hard to make the quota. As such, I watched him make a batch of Spirit Surge pills, then, when he was about to have a failure on the third batch, I jumped onto the counter next to the furnace and put in my own spirit to stabilize the process. His face had twisted into a grimace as he’d noticed the impending failure, and he simply focused on trying to have it not cause a furnace explosion, but I made it not fail in the first place. I couldn’t have done it without his spirit pressing it down already, nor could he have done it on his own in the first place, as it was a two-person technique. He blinked, then just stared at me, so I nosed the next set of ingredients closer to him. The look on his face was priceless.

 

“This cat... can you apply pressure on the embryonic pill liquid for me when I tell you to?”

“Nyeah”

“That was surprisingly close to a human saying ‘yeah’... what is this cat? He’s so intelligent...”

 

I nodded as I mewed and in response to his comment on my meow, then nosed the ingredients again. He put them in, finished up the batch of pills, then began to make another batch, with a different technique, this one suited to assisted productions. I applied pressure when he told me to, magnified the flame when it got low because he was concentrating on other things, and so on, and we got a higher quality batch of Spirit Surge pills. He asked me to stay in the room, then grabbed Mia, who watched as we made another batch of Spirit Surge pills together. She ran to get Grandmaster White, who came after we’d made a third batch. He was suitably impressed that a cat was able to work as an alchemical assistant, and he asked Master Chen if he knew my level, considering that he couldn’t see it when he tried. When he said he didn’t know, I tapped my paw on the ground eleven times after getting their attention.

 

“Eleven, huh? That’s high for a cat... and he’s just like Tama... err, the human Tama... in that I can’t see either of them as anything other than level zero. Their master must have taught both of them some sort of aura obfuscation technique, or... no, in Tama’s case... ARGH... when talking about them both, I will refer to the human as Master Tama from now on, with the cat as just Tama. In Master Tama’s case, since he has a void spirit realm, we can’t see his spirit companion’s spirit patterns. I don’t know what kind of spirit companion Tama has, however”

 

They all looked at me, then decided to ask me when I finished whatever it was that I was holed up in my room doing. After a while, it looked like the rain cleared up, so I jumped out of Master Chen’s window and walked away for a while, before sprinting into my room and changing back to my human form. I then quickly made a batch of some long-lost pills, specifically, Bone Spirit Connection pills, and left my room to head over to Master Chen’s room, bumping into Mia as she exited the room.

 

“Oh, I was just about to go looking for you”

“Why would you be looking for me... and why were you in... Master Chen’s room?”

“Your cat. Your cat is fucking amazing. He just helped Little Chen-”

“I HEARD THAT!”

“... Master Chen, to refine several batches of Spirit Surge pills. Do you know what his spirit companion is, by any chance? We were wondering how he hides his level, and that came up”

“We? More than just you... and Master Chen?”

“Grandmaster White is in there too. Come on in, actually. Let’s not just stand in the doorway like a bunch of imbeciles and instead talk while sitting comfortably”

 

She led me inside as I asked where ‘my cat’ was now, after having done all of that.

 

“He, uh... jumped out of the window a few minutes ago. Cats will be cats, as contrary and supercilious as anything can be”

 

That hurt. Just a bit, but it did hurt.

 

“Anyways, to answer your questions... he has a copper-tailed lion... as his spirit companion. He has a technique that... hides the lion’s spirit patterns... I can teach it to you... if you want”

“You... yes please. If you could teach me, I’d like to sell jade slips with the technique in the shop for the Pill Masters. It seems like something some of the old eccentrics who have the position would want to have”

“No problem... provided I get a cut... of the profits”

“I suppose that would be fine. 15%, like with the Jade Spirit pills?”

“Yes, that sounds good. Speaking of lost pill formulae... I made another. Bone Spirit Connection pills. Allows one to strengthen... a few bones in your body... to several times their normal durability... and heals bone fractures and breaks. Six bones per pill, up to four pills... then two per pill... for another six pills. Only heals bones after that”

 

Jaws dropped when I said I made another long-lost pill, and continued to drop as I explained what the pills did.

 

“I... I... I... How much do the materials cost, and how long does it take to make a batch?”

“5300 spirit stones... per batch of three pills... each batch... takes about ten minutes”

“That’s... really expensive. How much of an effect do they have?”

“If you temper all the bones... in your arms and legs... you can run several times faster... hit much harder... block harder hits... the exact numbers... depend on the purity... of the pill. 50% purity... means about five times stronger bones... 80%... eight times stronger. 100%... jumps to 50 times stronger. Temperings... can be overwritten by stronger pills... by the way”

“Excuse me... I have to pick up my jaw”

 

She actually bent down, pantomimed picking up her jaw, and then proceeded to put it back in place too. We laughed, but quickly got back on track when Grandmaster White shifted to businessman mode. And by that, I mean he motioned us to be silent while he muttered incomprehensibly for a few minutes, thinking hard, and evidently, thinking quickly as well. After a few minutes, he smiled, and began to vocalize the results of his mental labors, as well as the plan based off of said results.

 

“Well then... Let’s get several of the Masters working ‘round the clock on this formula, and sell the ones below 60% purity at first. After a few months, we can release the ones below 70%... a few years later, all of them. Get a nice, big stockpile of the strong ones. I’d price them as about 2500 spirit stones per 50% purity pill, 5000 for 60%. Maybe auction off some of the better ones as well, and I’m hoping to get 12000 for the 70% pills once they’re released”

 

I was stunned at those prices at first, but they began to make sense somewhat after a bit of thought. The difference between five and six times the strength of your bones can make the difference between life and death at times.

 

“15% on those... is fine too. Out of curiosity... what will the Jade Spirit pills... be selling for?”

“One is 1000 spirit stones multiplied by the purity, meaning a 55% one is 550 spirit stones. We plan to have them be twice that price for the first month or so too. Since they cost about 250 spirit stones to make, that’s a profit of 200 stones minimum per pill, or 30 spirit stones each for you. Oh, right. Your time at the sales counter is coming up, isn’t it?”

“Yeah... not looking forward to it”

“You get 10% of the profit on the pills you sell, you know. Meaning... if you sell a 60% purity Spirit Bone Connecting pill... that’s 800 spirit stones for you. For one pill. Only the Mysterious Life-Death pill could net an ordinary salesperson more for one pill. Oh, right. If someone asks to buy one of those... well, they’re made to order, so you’d need to run it by me or one of the other Pill Grandmasters before taking their money”

 

Even to this day, I’ve never interacted with a Pill Grandmaster other than Grandmaster White, now that I think about it.

 

“It sounds like... you’re trying to coax me into it... and I’m getting suspicious”

 

Everyone’s faces blanched in unison. I knew it, there’s something wrong with the job. What it could be, however, I have no idea. It could be anything from being too much work at once to belligerent customers to just being too boring. Until I actually do the job, I won’t know. None of them will be likely to give me a straight answer, it seems.

 

“Oh, fine, I’ll do it. I’ve been improving a lot... in how much I can talk... without having to pause in the middle. I should be able to sell pills... without much of a problem there... I think”

“Your height, on the other hand...”

“Shut up about that, will nya?”

 

My verbal tic is back, it seems. A sequela of the form-change? Regardless, nobody noticed, I think, so I should be safe. Well, even if they noticed it, I doubt they’d think I could actually be a cat, nor be a high enough level such as is needed to shift into one.

 

“So... when do I start?”

“The day after tomorrow. Get some rest, and study the prices we’ve set for each pill. Your memory is good, you should be able to get them all down in no time at all”

“Oh, by the way, the time you spend at the sales desk is paid for by reducing the monthly quota of pills you have to provide in addition to the spirit stones you earn on a commission basis. One week at the sales desk reduces the quota by a quarter, meaning if you spend all 28 days in the month selling things, you don’t need to make a single pill”

“I wouldn’t recommend you do that, however. It’s tiring work, and it makes your skills more likely to become rusty, to say the least”

 

With those words, he left, and I left soon after with Mia to obtain my blue robes. I chose the kind that can be worn over the normal color of robes, got measured, and was told to come back the next day to pick up both the over and under robes. I say both, because a set of thinner than normal robes is what goes under the somewhat thin blue ones, and in my case, the under robes are red with a black stripe on each sleeve, like my normal robes. It means that I can pull up a sleeve of the blue robes to show off my status if need be, but the red robes are completely hidden normally.

I couldn’t sleep well, so I decided to refine some more pills. I went to the storehouse (at what the half asleep clerk called ‘Ass-o-clock at night’, a phrase I like and intend to remember for future use) to get the needed ingredients, several sets of them, to be exact. I then botched half a dozen attempts before finding a method that worked with my limited spiritual strength, and successfully refined a few dozen drops of Spirit Liquid. It’s a pill, yet not a pill. Instead of purity, it’s also measured by density. Mine was about five times as dense as water and the color of burnished brass, giving it a glow that almost resembled that of gold. A shame, considering that the best is a true golden color, representing 100% purity. This... probably about 95% purity? Unlike a pill, it’s not hard to get it almost perfectly pure, but you lose a lot of density in the process. As such, my 5 by 95 Spirit Liquid was comparable to an 80% purity pill in terms of difficulty of production. 

The effect of Spirit Liquid was similar to that of a Spirit Condensation type pill, but slightly different. While the pill provides an instant boost to your spirit, replenishing your reserves, which could then be used to increase your cultivation by condensing more spirit drops, the Spirit Liquid would instead go directly to increasing your cultivation, by decreasing the amount of spirit wasted in the formation of a spirit drop. Therefore, both could be used in conjunction without causing a conflict like consuming two Spirit Condensation pills simultaneously would. However, Spirit Liquid couldn’t be used to provide a burst of spirit during combat, so its uses are more limited, and it fell out of use about two centuries back, from what I’ve gathered. One formula is expensive and not very effective, but easy to make, so it became the standard after it got mass-produced, and people judged Spirit Liquid as a whole based on that standard formula, and it became something with too little of an effect for its price, causing it to have no demand in the general market. Even the good formulae, like the one I’m using, were all but forgotten in the hundreds of years since then.

Now, I doubt that I’d be able to sell this anywhere, so I’m going to use it for my own cultivation and that’s it. Speaking of, I’m going to focus my efforts on cultivation for the next few weeks, when I’m not working the sales desk... and even when I am, if there’s a period of no traffic, I might meditate for a bit and expand my spirit pond, and then hopefully I can make a second one.

 

“Hmm... this batch is good too. I’ll keep it for later. The previous one... that was pretty bad, so it’d be best to... use it as an ingredient... in the next batch. But first, it’s time for breakfast”

 

I could have chosen not to say that out loud, but I try to train my linguistic capabilities whenever possible. As such, I also struck up a conversation with Antonius when I found myself walking next to him on my way to the mess hall, still in casual clothing.

 

“How’d you get to be so good... at making pills that you’ve taken first place... twenty seven months straight? There’s gotta be... some trick to it, right?”

“Talent, and several decades spent practicing while stuck as a level five Pill Master. I’m not as young as I might look, you know. I’m in my late nineties, but since I’m level 43, I can live to at least five hundred years old, if not longer. If you want to learn how to cultivate faster, I can help with that, by the way. I’d just want to learn a formula or two from you in exchange“

“Seriously? I’d thought you were fifty at most... but to think you’re twice that age... anyways, I’ll take you up on that offer... sometime in the future. I’ve got a bit to do first... before focusing on cultivation”

“No problem, whenever you want, I’m fine with it. And I get that a lot... But anyways, how’d you manage to get to level 11 without a spirit companion?”

“Luck, patience, and persistence. Mostly luck”

 

He seemed surprised at the short answer, but didn’t press for more details, evidently understanding that I didn’t want to talk about the subject further. We talked more about this and that for the few minutes it took us to get to the mess hall, including about my attempts at creating spirit liquid.

 

“I mean, you can’t sell the stuff, but I suppose that it is useful to you, and you have the disposable funds to burn on making it, so it’s not a bad idea, I think”

“It’s not so expensive... I’d say 50 spirit stones a drop... and the drops are pretty high quality”

“I forgot you have a tendency to turn expectations about the cost and result of formulae on their heads like this... in that case, can I buy some from you?”

“It’s time consuming to make... but I can sell you the formula... if you want. Just don’t treat it as your own... and instead credit me... if you want to hand it off... to the Association... or something like that”

 

He looked a bit offended at the insinuation that he might try to take credit for my formula, but I paid it no heed, as we were almost to the mess hall. Once again, I piled my tray full of meat, poultry, fish, and little else. Scrambled eggs are nice, and the one thing preventing me from saying ‘nothing else’ and instead making me say ‘little else’, besides a large mug of warm milk.

 

“Carnivorous as usual, I see. You need to eat your veggies... well, I’m one to talk about that, I guess”

“You, Little Chen? You, the one who eats more desserts than main courses, are talking about eating healthy? Yeah, you’re one to talk for sure. I, on the other hand-”

“Need to eat less rice and more meat”

“So says the original carnivore of the group. Why should I listen to you again?”

“Because I’m almost five times your age”

 

Bickering suffused the air around the Masters’ table, and I decided to shut them up after listening to it for the time it took me to eat a large fish and a whole roast chicken.

 

“Master... had no problems with my eating habits... and he should know... he died of old age... while about a hundred times... the total age of all three of you”

“Was that an eighth word I heard?”

“I’ve been practicing. I do have salesman duties starting tomorrow... after all”

“That’s right, you do. Uh... good luck? You’ll need it”

“Did I hear something about a new salesman?“

“Ye-”

 

Before I could get out more than half a word of confirmation, I was interrupted by a hand covering my mouth... Mia’s hand, I think. Considering the softness of the hand and whatever body part was pressing against and enveloping the back and sides of my head, it could only be her among those I was close with.

 

“No. Go away, Geirian. You’re not welcome here, not after you stole my pill formula and passed it off as your own achievement”

“Allegedly. ALLEGEDLY. I still deny it, and there’s no proof that I did, bitch”

 

Oh, I hate this guy already. I pulled Mia’s hand off of my mouth, my head out from between her breasts, and spoke.

 

“You know, I have a formula for a pill... that forces one to speak the truth... if they are willing. If they aren’t willing to be truthful... they can’t say a word. It lasts for a few hours... or up to about a day or so... and is quite harmless otherwise”

“Would you be willing to tell Grandmaster White that you didn’t steal my formula under the effects of that pill? I could set up a time for us to have a nice discussion with him about that incident, if you want”

“Like I’d believe that such a pill exists, let alone in the hands of a retarded child-”

 

His voice rose in volume, until it was the only voice in the entire hall. Mia interrupted him comparatively quietly, but everyone could still hear the second part of her statement, if not the first half.

 

“This CHILD, as you call him, happens to outrank you, a hog’s unwanted bastard”

“That was probably uncalled for... you know. Well, he called me a retard. Nevermind. His vocabulary must be quite limited... when it comes to insults... and other denigrating adjectives. Oh, I’m sorry. He probably doesn’t know... what those last two words mean. Geirian, an adjective is-”

 

As I spoke, his face turned redder and redder until it reached some shade of purple, before he finally exploded in front of everyone, as they’d all heard my response too.

 

“SHUT UP! I’m neither vocabulistically challenged-”

“That’s not a word, you know”

 

I knew I was going to get yelled at more, but I couldn’t resist the jab.

 

“Shut your damn mouth right now! As I was saying, nor am I any of a hog’s offspring, a child born out of wedlock, nor am I unwanted”

 

A smile blossomed on the faces of several of those listening to his tirade, but I got to the juicy retort first.

 

“I don’t know... you seem pretty unwanted here”

 

His jaw dropped, and then he opened and closed his mouth several times in mute outrage, prompting a quip from Master Mia.

 

“Oh, I like this. The gasping fish look is a good one on you”

 

He closed his mouth firmly, lips pressed into a thin line, and stormed out of the room while visibly seething with resentment. I’m going to have to watch my back, I think.

 

“So... besides a despicable thief... and someone with a pinecone... permanently embedded into his ass... who exactly is he?”

“Geirian Kingsford. Bastard prince of the empire. He’s only nineteenth in line for the throne, so even he knows he can’t even throw his weight around anywhere, especially not here in the Association. However, he is delusional and in denial about the fact that he’s a bastard in both meanings of the word. He’s also, unfortunately, the most senior salesperson who isn’t a Pill Master or Grandmaster, so watch your back while on duty. If he does anything, you can and should come to me. I’m technically his boss, as I am the head of the sales department in addition to my other roles. Also, I love the pinecone bit, I’ll remember that one”

“So, now I have two... no, nevermind”

 

I was going to say that I had two people connected to the imperial castle that hate my guts, when you include Adon. However, to say that would mean I’d need to come up with a way I’d’ve encountered him. Maybe I could say that I was beaten for no reason other than my very form of existence when I had nowhere to live after master died, but... why bother with making such a story? I’ll likely never see him again in my life.

For those wondering about my current progress, I'm working on the second to last chapter of this arc at the time of scheduling this release. Other information can be found in my Discord server, including the answer to the age-old question "is there popcorn in this world?". There's also a handy bit for those who feel like they might forget, say, the specifics of the cultivation system. And if you wanted to know some random fact with no impact on the story, such as what species of cat Tama is, you can ask there. (By the way, the answer is about half egyptian mau and half siberian, so he'll be a decently big cat, around 5.5 kg / 12 lbs, with a dense, medium length fur coat)

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