Danny screamed as he awoke from an absolutely horrible nightmare.

Cindy had MURDERED DANNY.

In his dream, dream Danny didn't recognize Cindy. He thought that she was a cute girl, and he asked her on a date. Then they had gone to a pier on the coast of the ocean. Cindy lured him toward the edge, and then pushed him off into vicious crashing waves.

Danny curled into fetal position on his bed, crying in a hysterical way. His mind still fresh from the dream, he struggled to grasp for a moment that the dream was not real. But as his mind began to wake up more from the world of the dream, he felt no less horrible.

His room was pitch black, except for his clock that read 2:31.

The nightmare had not had much substance. He'd had ones with darker elements before. Thankfully, those had only happened once or twice in his life.

No, while this one was not some demon with an axe coming after him, the way the dream felt, his emotion in the dream felt so much more real. Not fantasy elements to it. Just the representation of his femininity murdering him.

He needed to get away from that horrible creature as quickly as possible. It wanted to destroy his life. It was destroying his life. He had no idea how he was ever going to recover from this.

He didn't think he would be able to. This... this was going to be what his life would be like.

Endless torment.

Danny barely heard the sound of the bathroom door opening over his frantic sobbing. He quieted, hearing the carpet being walked on, and seeing that there was faint light in his room through his eyelids.

"Ohhh," Sammy began to cry. "Oh Danny."

Danny returned to his sobbing, uncaring of her presence. He heard Sammy click his lamp on, and could see the light through his eyelids.

"We're very worried about you Danny," Sammy cried. "Please... please just talk to me."

"I don't want to talk to anyone," Danny said. "I'm a liar. I don't deserve -"

Sammy hugged her arms around him. It was awkward with him lying down on his side, but she held tightly to him nonetheless.

Crying harder, Danny wrapped his arms around his sister as she pulled him up so he was sitting.

"No," he thought out loud, "I'm a fool. This won't make the pain stop. If this does anything, it will only briefly take it away. Then it will come back. Then I will feel even worse."

Sammy did not let go of her hug. She didn't say anything as Danny cried. She didn't adjust how she was sitting. Sammy just patiently held onto her brother.

In his dark thoughts, he had a thought arise - it felt like his sister was a rock he was holding on to in a stormy sea.

"I can't take it anymore Sammy," he cried. "I feel horrible awake, and in my sleep, I'm literally attacked in my nightmares."

"Just hold on," Sammy pleaded. "Please, just hold on, and don't let go."

The dark thoughts swirled around in him.

"I am in so much pain... my thoughts are consumed by pure darkness."

"Please Danny," she said, "I know that you are in there. I don't care whether you're my brother, or my sister, or by what name you want to be called. You don't want to be in this any more. Don't succumb to these feelings."

Danny's face was drenched in tears. He shook as he held Sammy tighter. "I'm so... so scared Sammy."

"Tell me what you're scared about."

"In my nightmare, Cindy murdered me."

He heard a long horrified gasp from Sammy. "Oh my gosh Danny. I'm really really sorry."

Danny's breathing was erratic, sputtering from all his crying.

"It was a dream," she said. "You're safe."

Danny wanted to angrily lash out. It wasn't just a nightmare. It was a reflection of reality. But he couldn't do that. He was too weak. The stupid child inside him with no backbone couldn't say that.

"No I'm not," he quietly said instead. "I have no idea who I am anymore. I'm never going to know..."

"You are going through really terrible grief Danny," Sammy said, "and I know that this seems impossible right now. But believe that it will get better. That this darkness will end."

"It won't."

"Please," Sammy sobbed, "please. I know that it can be scary to have hope when you feel like this, but please trust me. Trust me that you won't get hurt."

Danny didn't respond. He didn't let his mind think about what Sammy was saying.

But he did slow down the flow of dark thoughts through his mind.

Many minutes passed.

Danny's horrible grief was becoming less intense. Now, he just felt dead inside. His crying had become slow, drawn out sobbing.

Danny suddenly felt very uncomfortable, as his sister ended their hug.

He didn't know why she had pulled back, but he began to fear that his dark thoughts would return.

Sammy gently held Danny by the waist, and turned him so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He offered no resistance.

Through his eyelids, Danny could see the light of Sammy's phone.

He unexpectedly heard it began to play something.

Danny cracked open his eyes.

It was blurry, and he wiped away his tears.

Sammy paused a video, and then once he'd cleared his vision, she started it up again.

In the video, someone typed "red" into Google. After the search results loaded, they scrolled down through images of various shades of red. As the person scrolled, an image that was blue appeared.

The video suddenly started playing the x-files theme while zooming in on the blue image.

What?

Danny felt confused.

The video ended, and a new video started.

"That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen."

"So it would seem..."

It was a clip from Pirates of the Caribbean.

The video cut to a clip of someone rafting down a river, only they had stacked at least five or so rafts on top of each other. All while the Pirates of the Caribbean themed played in the background.

Danny uttered a hoarse, quiet laugh.

Sammy had brought up a YouTube playlist they shared, that they called "The Funny Videos."

Brief video after brief video played.

Slowly but surely, the darkness began to fade. Danny found himself hoarsely exhaling in quiet laughs.

Until finally, a smile emerged through his falling tears.

Sammy closed her phone after they'd watched at least a dozen.

They were quiet for a while. Their silence adding to the silence of the early morning.

"Thank you," Danny finally sputtered out.

Sammy gave him a hug, this time only a few seconds.

"You would do the same for me."

"No I wouldn't."

"You're the nicest person I know Danny. Those thoughts you're having, that are telling you you're a liar - that's not who you are."

"If it was you in my place," he sniffled, "I would've gone frantic, knowing only that I had to get your pain to stop, and not thinking anything through."

"Danny, we all make mistakes. But that does not define who you are."

"But that's what I do, don't I?" he said. "I freak out when I see someone in pain, and I don't actually try to slowly help them feel better. Instead I try to apply an anti-pain bandage as quick as possible without thinking about what's best."

"Again Danny," she said, "you can't base your entire identity off of a few mistakes."

"Well," he sniffled hard, "this mistake was the worst I've made."

"Matt found out, didn't he?"

Danny nodded slowly.

"He... he didn't hurt you did he?"

Danny shook his head. "He was the reasonable one. All he said was that he didn't feel comfortable dating me. But it was hard for either of us to think straight. Not after how he found out."

Sammy didn't say anything. He expected that she was going to ask.

"Are you going to ask how he found out?"

"I don't want to cause you more discomfort Danny," she said. "These memories are still very fresh and painful."

"He kissed me," Danny said, ignoring her suggestion to leave it alone. "It gave me an erection."

Saying it so deadpan barely took away the edge of it.

Sammy placed her palm against his back, and slowly rubbed it.

"My stupid gayness ruined everything," he said. "But this all resulted from me acting like a girl. If I had just gotten a haircut like Mom had said, I would've been less likely to attract his attention."

"So why didn't you?" Sammy asked.

"Because of that stupid mermaid tail," he said. "Because I had to lie to the poor honest people in that mermaiding group. I was so afraid of being a guy with breasts, that I lied to them. And to keep up that lie, I didn't cut my hair. I wore a bikini. I added more lies."

"So...," Sammy said hesitantly, "are you saying you don't think you're transgender?"

"No," he said with a forceful tone. "All of it was a lie. Because of the happy feelings I felt when I was at the mermaiding group, I connected it to the stupid girly clothes. I started imagining up that I liked wearing them."

"Danny," Sammy said, "I don't think that's true. I saw your eyes light up when you wore that swimsuit for the first time. And these past few weeks, you've been so upbeat, and cheerful. We've had so much fun together. Do you think that was all made up?"

The dark thoughts were retreating more and more. And now, he felt new thoughts come in.

He thought of the increased time he'd spent with his sister. The feeling... the feeling of acceptance. Of security.

"If anything is a lie," Sammy said, "it's what you just said."

"Exactly," Danny said, "I'm a liar."

Sammy put on a little smile. "Your logic is inconsistent Danny. And I think that one is a lie too."

She was right. She was right.

He wheezed, and put his head in his hands. "I'm so confused Sammy. I don't feel like I know anything anymore."

"Danny," she said, "You do know many things. The way you're feeling is trying to convince you that you don't. Your sadness is obscuring it. But please, have the courage to believe that you do."

"I... I can't."

"Please Danny," she said. "Please try."

He didn't say anything.

She pulled his head out of his hands, and up to look in her eyes.

"Cindy," she said, "imagine for a moment, that you're wearing your mermaid tail. Can you do that?"

Danny gulped. "Why would I imagine myself wearing a costume when I could imagine myself as a real mermaid?" He said the sentence with little emotion.

Sammy smiled. "Then imagine yourself as a real mermaid Cindy."

The thoughts formed slowly. As he began doing it, the mental image slipped from his mind and ended a few times. But he kept trying. Finally he imagined the daydream from weeks before. Himself as a mermaid. Happy. Swimming freely.

It's not true. It's a -

Stop. It's not a lie.

The tears were dry on his face. His breathing was calmer.

"I'm... I'm imagining myself as a mermaid," he said. "I... I look beautiful. I'm flowing through the water gracefully with my tail. It... it... has a fin that looks like a blossoming flower."

He sniffled, and looked up into Sammy's soft smile and tender eyes.

"And... and swimming along with me... I see another beautiful mermaid. My... my twin sister."

Sammy smiled wider.

"And all my friends are there too," he finally smiled. "Including... a cute merboy... named Liam."

Sammy squeezed his shoulder, and they sat quietly for a moment.

"I'm sorry," Danny said. "That was incredibly weird. It was girly."

"No Cindy," Sammy said. "It was really sweet."

Danny instinctively wiped his face, but his cheeks were dry.

"I... I had a dream several weeks back," he said. "That... that we were both mermaids. That you were laughing and playing with me as we swam around."

"Well of course I'd be there," Sammy said. "I'm your mermaid sister. And us mermaid twins need to stick together."

"I wish I could've dreamed that again tonight."

"Bad dreams suck," Sammy said. "But when you have stressful stuff going on in life, it means that your mind will sometimes form dreams out of it. The side of you that wants to be that beautiful mermaid isn't evil. You just felt afraid of it when you went to bed. Then your brain made a dream out of it."

"I understand," Danny said. "It's an irrational fear."

"Oh Cindy don't say that. Fear can be tough to deal with. Just because you're afraid of something that you shouldn't be, doesn't make you irrational. It doesn't mean you're weak."

"Weak," Danny said. "That's what I am. Weak."

"Cindy," Sammy said, "you're one of the bravest people that I know. All of this that you've struggled with since you developed your breasts, that took a lot of bravery."

"No," Danny said, "it... it wasn't..." He couldn't really place words.

"You've grown comfortable berating yourself," Sammy said. "Have the courage to say that you're a good person."

"I...," Danny said. He thought about it. "I... I'm a good person."

"Do you believe that?"

Danny looked down, and wrung his hands. He looked back at Sammy. "Yeah... I do."

A few tears began to stream down.

"You're an awesome person Cindy," she grinned, tearing up too. "You have so much talent. You have such a pure heart. Please have the courage to not reject that."

The darkness within Danny was gone.

He... he felt hope.

"Sammy...," he started tearing up harder, "I'm... I'm so sorry that I've been acting like such a wreck. I've... all of you have probably been scared out of your minds."

"It's because we love you Cindy," she said. "You don't need to say sorry for this. You had an extremely tough time the other night. But things will get better."

Danny hugged Sammy again. "Thank you for giving up your sleep for me."

"I wasn't able to sleep anyway," she said. "But remember. I'll be with you. Whenever you're in a rough spot in life, call me, and I'll help you get through it."

"I will," Danny promised. "And I want to do the same for you."

They held onto each other, both relieved that everything felt better.

"Sammy, I've said things I didn't mean," Danny said. "I said in my anger and despair that I didn't want to be called Cindy. I... told myself being a girl wasn't what I wanted."

Sammy gazed into Danny's eyes.

"I... I want to be a girl again," Cindy said with a whimpering smile.

"I knew my sister Cindy was still in there," Sammy smiled.

"Yeah... I am," Cindy said.

Sammy sighed, relieved.

"Are you feeling better now?"

"I don't think I can describe how much better I feel," Cindy said as she cried.

"You'll get through this," Sammy said. "It will be okay."

Cindy enjoyed for a moment her sister's warm embrace.

"Cindy?"

"Yeah?"

"This is uncomfortable for me to ask," Sammy said as they ended their hug, "but I feel like it's important for me to. When you were feeling your worst today... did you ever contemplate self harm?"

The question dampened Cindy's improved mood, but only because she now felt like she was looking down from the edge of a pit, looking down into how far she'd gone. It was chilling to remember how she'd felt before talking with Sammy.

"I... I didn't get as far as wanting to...," Cindy trailed off. "As wanting to do... that. But there were times were I had thoughts screaming in me that I just... that I wanted to take a knife and cut off my breasts."

Sammy groaned sorrowfully.

"I... I'm feeling much much better now," Cindy made sure to affirm. "I don't ever want to go to that place again. I'm not thinking about doing anything like that now. I'm just... afraid of what would've happened had it gotten any worse."

"Don't think about that," Sammy said. "Focus on happier things."

"Yeah," Cindy said. "I just... I can't express how grateful I am for you Sammy. You... you may have saved my life."

"I'm just happy that you're feeling better."

"I don't want to shut myself in anymore," Cindy said. She let out a small laugh. "Sorry in the future when I come to you to vent all my problems."

Sammy smiled. "We'll vent together."

"I'm done with all this hiding. I'm going to come out to Mom and Dad. And to my friends."

"I'll remind you," Sammy said, "Mom, Dad and Jason already kind of know. You've been wearing your hair long for a while, and been dressing and acting more feminine, even if you haven't outright been wearing skirts for them to see."

"Yeah," Cindy said. "But it'll still be hard."

"But you'll feel much better afterward," Sammy said. "What concerns me more is your friends. Act very carefully Cindy. I don't want you to go through another experience like you had with Matt."

"Can you come with me when I tell them?"

"Of course!" Sammy said. "As long as I get to try on your tail!"

Cindy giggled. "You need to ask for one for our birthday."

"Maybe," Sammy said.

Cindy let out a long sigh, just relishing the feeling of relief, and calm that she now felt. It was going to be okay.

"I'm not going to come out to them tomorrow," Cindy said. "I... I think what I need is a day to just calm down, and put things on pause."

"I think like that's a good idea."

Sammy gave Cindy one last brief hug, and stood up off the bed.

"Are you gonna sleep alright?" Sammy asked.

"Yeah," Cindy replied. "I think though, that I'm going to watch a few things on Youtube just to kind of calm down my mind."

"Okay," Sammy said. "Good night Cindy."

"Good night Sammy. And thank you."

Sammy closed the bathroom door and went back to her room.

Cindy leaned back against the wall, and let out a long, deep exhale. The last day had been really rough. But she was just glad it was over.

It felt good to think of herself as Cindy again. Accordingly, she went to her dresser, and pulled out the butterfly patterned panties Sammy gave her and she pulled them on. She enjoyed the feeling of femininity, changed out of her rough t-shirt and sport shorts, opting for her softer set of pajamas. Much better.

After a few Youtube videos, Cindy turned off the lights and pulled the covers tight around her. A few times she felt fear of more nightmares, but she flushed those fears out of her mind.

All she had to do was imagine her day dream. Swimming in the oceans with her friends, and her amazing mermaid sister.