What Do You Mean I Want To Be A Girl?
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In what likely came as a surprise to very, very few, it was actually pretty hard to make one’s way to the particular cave in question. That was, to be specific, the one that an ancient and powerful spirit had made a home of. And, more specifically -- as that still actually didn’t entirely narrow it down super well -- the spirit that granted wishes. And, just to be extra certain, that’s the spirit that actually does a nice job of it too. The one that grants people what they want most, even if they don’t fully realize what that is yet. As it turned out, I didn’t really know what I wanted yet either. I just knew I wanted things to be different. 

 

Either way, as mentioned earlier, it was pretty fucking hard to get there. The Fiendish Forest -- which the cave resided in -- wasn’t named that way because it sounded dramatic or because alliteration was cool, or at least, that wasn’t the only reason. It was named that because it was chock full of all manner of nasty creatures. Only the strongest and bravest of all could venture into the woods, seek out the spirit and return alive. And it was no coincidence I found myself surviving day in and day out even in the deepest darkest corners of the practically impenetrable woodland. I wasn’t just anyone, after all, I was among the select few people who happened to be very good friends with one such person. It was a good thing I was too, because my fighting skills were average at best. 

 

Luckily Alessia was no slouch with a sword, or spear, or axe, or bow, or really just about anything that had a sharp bit designed to hurt things that wanted to hurt either of us. Actually, she also was pretty good with not sharp things like clubs and maces too, but that was irrelevant, we weren’t bringing an entire caravan with us, just what she could carry. Still, her bow, spear and shortsword did the trick. Now, it was hardly some kind of slog where we were attacked by some manner of nasty creature every moment of every day. But by the third time she’d done the bulk of the work in beating back some monster or other, I was more than certain I’d have not made it through alive without her.

 

The whole journey took maybe three days, it wasn’t easy to tell time given how little sunlight managed to penetrate the thick canopy above us, but we stopped to sleep twice and then spent a long time walking after waking up the second time, so that was the best I could manage. Time notwithstanding, we soldiered on, or rather, Alessia soldiered on and I followed in her footsteps. I’d have thought this sort of legendary place would be full of wonder and terror, and, well, terror there was plenty of, but honestly it was actually a pretty normal forest otherwise. It did not magically twist around us and spit us back out randomly as the legends said they would. Instead we more or less just followed the compass westward from the entrance we’d chosen, and looked for the massive clearing in the very center. 

 

It was just getting to be about that time when my exhaustion started to set in on the our third day, that just ahead of me Alessia stopped dead in her tracks and exhaled a long breath of wonder and bewilderment. Unfortunately I had my weary eyes glued to the ground and walked face first into one of her pauldrons. It was bad enough that she was practically a head taller than me, the fact that my gaze was cast downward just made the whole thing even worse for my nose. Regardless, Alessia had the constitution -- and, at least with her armor on, the texture -- of a brick wall that had overdosed on strength enhancing magic tinctures. Needless to say, crashing into her did a great job of bringing me to a complete halt, after I fell backwards onto my ass, at least. At the clattering sound of me in all my armored glory making a rather rude introduction to the ground below, Alessia whirled around, a look of bewildered shock on her face. 

 

“Oh shit, Leo are you okay? What happened?” She crouched low and grasped me by my chainmail shirt with one hand, easily, but gently lifting me back up onto my feet. 

 

“Are you serious? I walked right into you!” I gestured to my now bleeding nose, then began frantically dusting off the excess dirt that had collected on my trousers and back, I was about to meet a greater spirit for goddess’ sake, how were they going to take me seriously caked in dirt?

 

Despite my protests, Alessia seemed about as shocked to hear I’d crashed into her as I was to actually experience it. “You did?” 

 

“Yes!” I shouted, Alessia’s bewilderment quickly faded into remorse as her mouth twisted into a solemn frown and her eyes got all big and watery. I could tell she really wanted to give me a hug, but she also knew I wasn’t particularly comfortable with close contact like that, so instead she settled for a pat on the shoulder

 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t feel it. I didn’t hurt you too bad did I?” It was impossible to stay mad at her given the look on her face, and I quickly found myself exhaling a sigh of resignation. I couldn’t really blame her. Honestly it wasn’t even that surprising for her to not notice, considering I’d bounced off her like a bird against a window. And, despite her many talents, awareness was never Alessia’s strong suit, which was normally fine because I was pretty good at that sort of thing, but not when on the verge of exhaustion. Either way she didn’t deserve that ire.

 

“No, no you didn’t I just, ugh, my nose is all messed up now and I’m covered in dirt.” She responded to my complaints with a sympathetic giggle, the sort one might expect from a teenage girl, not the two meter tall battering ram of a woman who -- quite believably -- claimed to have a bit of giant’s blood in her. With surprising gentleness she helped me thwack some of the remaining dirt from the hard to reach places and offered me a bit of cloth for my nose, which I accepted gratefully. “So wait, why did you even stop so suddenly to begin with?” I asked. Alessia flashed me an excited grin. 

 

“Look!” she gestured to a dense thicket of bushes and shrubs.

 

“Uh, yeah, those are some cool plants I guess?” 

 

“No not those it’s what’s passed them can you not --” Her gaze shited back to me and she sheepishly slumped her shoulders, “oh, right, you probably can’t see over the bushes huh? Well it’s the clearing we’re looking for, I think anyways.”

 

“You think? Shouldn’t it be pretty obvious.” 

“Well it could be a different big cave in the middle of a different clearing, the legends don’t mention there not being a second clearing with a second cave so there could be one.” She began to stroke her chin thoughtfully.

 

“I don’t think that’s how legends work, Lessi.” That didn’t seem to assuage her completely unfounded suspicion though. 

 

“Well, I guess there’s only one way to find out. But if it’s the wrong cave, you’re buying me a flagon when we get back to town.” Before I could even retort she’d reached into the thicket and pulled apart the branches and leaves enough to clear a path for both of us. “After you,” she nodded through the little path she’d carved, and I stepped through. 

 

The clearing was breathtaking, somehow, in the middle of the darkest, densest woods was a pristine meadow, there wasn’t a monster to be seen, nor even the signs of one, tall grasses grew, a little brook burbled along into a stream, forming a pond which all manner of woodland creatures -- the normal kind, not the kind with more eyes than teeth, but still more teeth than anything I’d ever seen -- gathered around to drink from. And, of course, in the center of the clearing, its mouth hanging open and pointed toward us, was a massive crystalline cave formation. 

 

I heard rustling behind me as my friend’s towering form came to a stop beside me. I turned and gazed up at her with bewildered excitement, “Alessia, if this somehow works, and you can get me home safe afterward I’ll buy you as many damn flagons of ale you could ever want.” 

 

“Aw shit, nice, I don’t even know how many that is.” She pumped her fist in the air and set off with a spring in her step and swagger in her stride as I jogged alongside her to keep up. We paused at the cave mouth, looking awkwardly from one another to the entrance as a more sober expression played across Alessia’s face. 

 

“So, um, the legends say you have to go in alone to ask the spirit for help.” She dragged her foot along the ground as she cast her eyes downward, “just, be safe okay? We don’t know what’s in there.”

 

“Thanks,” I said, nodding along. 

 

There was another pause as I worked up the courage to enter, “So, do you know what you’re going to ask for?” 

 

“I don’t think that’s how it works, I think she just gives people what they need. And I don’t even know what I want, just things to be different I guess.” It was my turn to get into a staring contest with the ground it seemed, as Alessia grumbled hesitantly above me.

 

“I’ve soured the mood by getting all serious haven’t I?” She put her arm on my shoulder reassuringly once more. And I took a deep breath, then smiled up at her.

 

“What? No, we’re getting way too down about this. It’s a good thing after all, isn’t it? I’m excited, definitely excited for whatever’s gonna happen, I just have no idea what it is, which is kind of scary.” I looked from the cave, back up to Alessia, then the cave a few more times and nodded. “Alright then, wish me luck.”

 

“Who me? Oh I’m not planning on going in and getting a wish, also wouldn’t I have to go first? Plus I thought you said that she only gave you wh--” 

 

“Nevermind, I’ll just get going then,” I blurted, and turned to enter.

 

“Good luck!” Alessia called after me, hopefully she didn’t see how hard I was pressing my forehead into my palm at that.

 

Despite all that pomp and circumstance and anticipation, the cave was a cakewalk, there wasn’t a single threat in sight as I walked through its bioluminescent twists and turns, there didn’t even seem to be any side paths for me to lost on, I just kept following an ever blooming trail of glowing mushrooms and mosses and little weird crystalline lightning bugs until I reached some honest to goddess stairs carved into the rock, which led down to an opulent, but overgrown little shrine nestled atop a lush little mini-peninsula surrounded by a sparkling cave spring.  

 

Wasting no time I descended into the chamber and knelt before the shrine. I quickly realized I didn’t actually know what to do from there, but opted to close my eyes and concentrate. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but I was getting ready to give up when I felt a little tap on my shoulder. With a start, I whirled around to find myself face to face with a kindly, elderly looking woman wearing a surprisingly mischievous smile and a twinkle in her eye. “Sorry to interrupt dearie, part of me wanted to see just how long you would sit there like that but I was getting bored.” 

 

“Uh, sorry madam, not to be rude but who are you exactly?” I stammered

 

“You know the answer to that.”  She grinned wryly, showing off surprisingly well maintained teeth.

 

“The great spirit?” She nodded, “Sorry I guess I didn’t really know what to expect.”

 

“That’s perfectly alright, I appear more or less however I want. Usually a form that others find comforting.” She paused, looking expectantly at me. “So, is it fair to assume I know why you’re here?”

 

“Uh, yeah. I was hoping you could use your magic to help me. I don’t know why or how, but I just need things to be different. I feel awkward and uncomfortable all the time, and I don’t really feel very useful.” I was on the verge of tears when the spirit put her hand on my arm.

 

“Hey, hey now. It’s alright, we’ll get you fixed right up. Just breathe.” She said that last bit in a long, slow exhale, which carried a rolling fog from every corner of the cave that quickly overwhelmed me and sent me into a deep slumber. I came into a sort of hazy awareness, feeling simultaneously as though I were inhabiting my body, and as though I were a passenger. I was moving off instinct, it wasn’t that my body was refusing any commands, more like I didn’t feel the capacity to make any commands to begin with. I seemed to be in a house of some sort, tending to a pot over a burning stove. Somewhere a woman was humming, she sounded close by, then I realized the sound was coming from me. 

 

I finished peeling and chopping up a potato, added it to the pot and suddenly felt a pair of arms around me, hugging me from behind. I exhaled lightly, leaning back into my wife’s embrace as she lightly kissed my cheek. She turned me about to face her, and when I caught a glimpse of her I simultaneously felt a sense of familiarity and recognition, and a deep sense of holy shit wow she’s so gorgeous. We shared a kiss, and the world started to fade away. 

 

I awakened face first on the cave floor, my body feeling weird and different but also pretty comfortable in a way I both wasn’t used to and couldn’t quite place. A little drop of water fell from the rock ceiling, sending a trickle of icy cold water straight down my back. I yelped out loud in a high, feminine voice and scrambled to my feet, feeling an unfamiliar weight on my chest bounce around as I did so, then found myself eye to eye with the spirit, which was weird, because I was definitely taller than her the last time I’d checked. With now three whole indications that something was seriously fucky with my body, I glanced down to give myself a quick once over. It wound up being a lot more than a quick once over.

 

The first thing I noticed was a curtain of long, brown, and slightly curly hair that reached down the front of my shoulders and onto my chest. And then there was the thing with my chest, and how it now had two very sizable breasts attached to it. Or, at least, they looked sizable but I didn’t have a great frame of reference. And that, obviously, hadn’t been the only thing that changed, the rest of my body had followed suit in the all ways one might expect given breasts and long hair. My skin had smoothened out and become more sensitive, everything from my frame to the individual fingers on my hand had grown smaller and more slender, more delicate. My hips had widened considerably, and, while I wasn’t necessarily about to feel myself up in front of some old lady spirit, I was pretty sure my downstairs equipment had shifted around too. 

 

“So?” The spirit asked expectantly.

 

“You turned me into a girl!” I accused, jabbing my finger in direction as my free hand gestured to my body, as it weren’t already obviously the case.

 

“Of course I did! That’s what you want most, deep, deep down.”  She put an especially large amount of emphasis on the word deep. “Well, that and you want a girlfriend, but don’t worry, that’ll be taken care of too.”

 

“This is ridiculous! Clearly you’ve misinterpreted why I want, change me back!” As my voice echoed along the cave walls I couldn’t help but think that I kind of liked how it sounded, but that didn’t mean anything, of course I liked how girls voices’ sounded. What straight guy wouldn’t?

 

“Sorry, dear, even if I wanted to I couldn’t, I’m all out of magic for the time being.” That sounded like a load of bull, but at the same time I had no idea how magic worked. 

 

“B-but this is so embarrassing! How am I going to explain it to Alessia?” I whined.

 

“I’m sure your friend will be understanding. And don’t worry about the embarrassment, it’s not really going to matter.” She waved her hand dismissively, as though we were talking about something completely trivial and not my body being completely changed.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I demanded.

 

“Well, remember when I said that desire was buried deep, deep inside you? I went ahead and fixed that. You saw the vision right? It showed you your ideal future, and now that you’ve seen it you’re not going to be able to resist acting on your desires, whether they embarrass you or not. Magic is fun like that.” She chuckled, shooting a puff of sparkling green magic from her hand as though to demonstrate her point.

 

“I thought you said you were out of that.” I looked her up and down suspiciously. She shrugged. 

 

“Eh, I can do some stuff, but I don’t have another change like that in me, especially since I’d be actively fighting against what your body wants, harmful magic is way harder than helpful magic, after all. But if you’re really desperate to change back I suppose there’s one thing you could do.” Another mischievous gleam took to her eyes. 

 

“What is it? Tell me!” I demanded.

 

“So impatient,” she tutted disapprovingly, but never lost that playful spark, “I suppose if turning back is what you truly want, you could go visit my sister. She should have enough magic to ‘help’ you.” 

 

“Where do I go?” Suddenly I was feeling pretty nervous, it was easy to act impudent when I was still in shock from the change, but going all the way to another spirit’s home just to change back well, obviously that was a lot of work so maybe it wouldn’t be worth it.  “It’s uh, it’s really far away right? Maybe it’s not wo--”

 

“Oh, no no my darling, it’s actually quite close. A mere day away on foot, just head due north.” With a little wave of her hand I could suddenly picture the route perfectly in my mind. 

 

“That’s still not going to work see, cause, well, uh, I don't think we packed enough supplies for that.”

 

“Not to worry my dear, these are my woods, so no harm will come of you, and if you need to rest, I’ll let you in on a little secret.” She leaned in close, then spoke in a conspiratorial whisper, “there’s a little town in these woods actually, only people I allow to find it can find it, but it’s there. Just head north about four kilometers, they’ll treat you and your friend well, I promise.”

 

“Okay well, fine I guess I’ll go there then.” Utterly defeated, it took me a moment to process that somehow the entire conversation had flipped to me coming up with reasons not to go get turned back and her insisting I do. This was clearly some kind of trickery on her part, but I wasn’t going to fall for it. I puffed up my chest, which admittedly had a much different, unintended effect, given its enhancement.

 

“Just remember to arrive the night after tomorrow night, that’s when her power will be strongest.” She winked at me. “And, well, I’d ask you to reconsider being a girl because I think that genuinely that’s what you want deep down, but that would just be beating a dead horse.”

 

“A dead what?” I asked, confused.

 

“Oh, right, sorry, it’s a figure of speech about a made up animal that mothers would tell their kids about to scare them back a few civilizations ago. They were described as these weird deer like creatures, but without antlers and with meatier heads and finger legs.” She shuddered a little at the description, and I couldn’t help but do the same.

 

“Wow they sound awful, I’m glad horses don’t exist.” I said, exhaling a sigh of relief.

 

“Me too, anyway. Good luck dear!” She waved sweetly, and then in a flash, I found myself at the mouth of the cave, dressed the same way as before, but luckily with my armor magically reconfigured to my shape. With a sigh, I tucked my hair back and tied it with a bit of string, took a few more deep breaths to prepare myself to face Alessia, and stepped out into the open to see her waiting for me expectantly. 

 

“Hey Leo! So was it the right cave?” She called, giving a friendly wave.

 

“Are you kidding? Look at me!” I huffed, stamping my foot petulantly in a manner that was way more feminine than I was expecting. 

 

“You’re right, I’m sorry, nothing’s changed, so obviously we found the wrong cave, don’t worry though we’ll --”

 

“Do you seriously not see that I’ve been turned into a girl?” I asked incredulously.

 

“Huh? You, wait hang on.” She squinted at me, looking me up and down for several seconds before something clicked in her head. “Oh shit yeah look at that you’re definitely a girl now.” She murmured nonchalantly, then her eyes got huge. “Wait holy shit you got turned into a girl!” She bounded up to me, looking me up and down once more. “Wow you’re super cute! Does that mean being a girl is what you wanted most? I’m so excited for you!” She picked me up into a big hug and squeezed firmly, but gently. Normally I would have objected, but being wrapped up like this did a great job hiding the blush and dopey smile on my face when she complimented me. Also, as it turned out, for whatever reason I didn’t mind the hug. It was a good thing too, because about ten seconds in Alessia realized the error of her ways and dropped me, apologizing profusely, so I decided to relay the message.

 

“Actually, as it turns out, for whatever reason I didn’t mind the hug. I kinda maybe liked it in fact.” I blushed again, but Alessia was already hugging me tightly once more. 

 

“I’m so excited for you! It must be so wonderful to finally feel like yourself after all that time.” She let me down and ruffled my hair affectionately. 

 

“Well I um, y’see actually, there’s y’know, uh. I’m gonna try and turn myself back into a guy.” I squeaked.

 

“What? Why? Do you not like it?” 

 

“Yes, no, maybe, I don’t know.” I hung my head in resignation. “I think I kinda like it, like I wanted things to be different and this is definitely that but even if this is better it’s going way too far!” 

 

“Why is it going too far?” 

 

“Well, cause I’m a guy. I have to like, do guy stuff and sure being a guy is worse, but some of us have to make sacrifices like that to keep the population going.”

 

“What? How are you gonna do that when you don’t even like being touched?” Alessia and her too on the nose questions were very inconvenient.

 

“Well, I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it, but like, there’s social expectations and responsibilities and stuff I can’t just be a girl. And besides, just cause I want to be a girl doesn’t mean it’s best for me or that I actually am one.”

 

“Hmm, well, none of that makes a lot of sense, but I guess I don’t know what being a guy is like, and there are some things that even people as smart as me can’t figure out, trust me I would know.” She stroked her chin thoughtfully, and gave a little nod. “Okay so what do we do to turn you back?”

 

“It should be pretty easy! We just have to go to find her sister. She’s in a cave about a day’s --”

 

“Hah! I knew it, I knew there was a second clearing with a second cave.” She raised her fist in celebration.

 

“No, you don’t understand this is a different cave.”

 

“Wait there’s a third cave?” She gasped in wonder, as though things were finally falling into place for her. Unfortunately she had no clue what she was even talking about.

 

“Nevermind. Let’s just get going, the spirit said there’s a town in the middle of the forest that’s under her protection. We just have to head a little ways north to get there, we can get a good night’s sleep and supplies and the like for the journey the day after tomorrow.“ I said, trying to carry an air of command and finality, but that was hard when I barely came up to Alessia’s chest.

 

“I still feel like there’s a lot I’m missing here, but whatever, you’re the boss. Lead the way, Leo!” Suddenly hearing that name in reference to the body I was inhabiting felt really wrong, not that there was any obvious explanation for why that might be.

 

“Oh, um, actually, since I’m a girl for the time being do you think you could call me by a girl’s name?” I murmured, “J-just ‘cause I need to fit in that’s all.”

 

“Uh, okay if that’s what you want. What name do y --”

 

“Sylvia,” I blurted before I even had time to realize my outburst. Where had that come from? I’d always thought it would be a really pretty name for a girl and maybe once or twice wondered what it would be like to have a name that pretty but that couldn’t mean anything, right?

 

“That’s a pretty name! So what we’re just gonna pretend you’re a regular girl while we’re in town? Can I ask how come?” Her need to understand things like ‘why’ I was doing the things I was doing was very inconvenient.

 

“Well, yeah, duh, of course I mean we need to blend in and it’s not like I could be an adventurer like this.” I gestured to my petite form for emphasis.

 

“Why not? I’m a lady adventurer. I also don’t really see why that part of it even matters you’d be seen as a girl either way.” I cursed Alessia for so effortlessly and unwittingly poking holes in my logic.

 

I was about to make another poorly crafted attempt to correct myself when a sudden surge of desire welled up inside me, and all I could think about was how fun it would be to go around in public as a girl. Stiil, it’s not like I could just admit that. “Don’t worry about the details! It’s irrelevant. And um, also while we’re in town please call me she and her, and also I want to buy some clothes that are more normal for this body because, y’know, we have to keep up appearances.” Yes that was definitely the reason and I was not going to think about it any more than that.

 

“But I thought we were only going to be in town for one day?” She asked, scratching her head in confusion.

 

“That’s not the point! You uh, you wouldn’t understand obviously, I mean, I’m a girl for now so I might as well enjoy it right? It’s funny, like a joke haha right?” Even I wasn’t sure how a weak justification like that could get past anyone, but somehow Alessia took the bait.

 

“Okay, sure, I don’t really get the joke but I’ll play along.” With that we set off for the final stretch of our walk for the night. Frustratingly, I found myself naturally moving in an incredibly dainty, feminine way, I’d try to course correct when I noticed it, but I always inevitably wound up back where I started, taking little steps and swaying my hips. Keeping up with Alessia’s massive stride was downright impossible. And it’s not like I disliked the fact that I moved that way either, actually that was the problem, I kind of liked it. And I disliked the fact that I liked it. I wasn’t supposed to like being all feminine, for reasons. 

 

Things turned from good-bad to better-worse when, after about a half hour of walking, I simply couldn’t keep going, and Alessia, mountain of a woman she was, just scooped me up as though I were nothing more than a kitten, and honeymoon carried me the rest of the way to the town. And that was absolutely unfair and uncalled for, she had me swooning the entire trip and I didn’t know why, but for whatever reason I couldn’t stop noticing how pretty she was with her delicate features and smooth, soft skin hiding firm, rippling muscle. Needless to say I didn’t really pay much attention to anything but those feelings the rest of the way there, and barely even noticed when we reached town. Alessia found us an inn to sleep in for the night without incident, though I was in and out of consciousness for that entire process, and before I could even fully comprehend it I was wrapped up in cozy blankets and drifting off to sleep.

 

If I dreamt, I didn’t remember it, but the next morning greeted me with the feeling of being refreshed, awake and ready to take on the day. Then I remembered I was a girl and a whole wave of confused excitement, worry, stress, and excitement flooded over me. First there was the entire prospect of being a girl, which was new and scary and also exciting and fun, but shouldn’t have been those things even though I couldn’t really explain why. And then there was the whole needing to go on another trek in order to get the magic undone, which was also something I was really dreading. Probably cause I didn’t want to do a lot of walking, yeah, that was it. Before I could do any more reflection, I was saved by the door to our room opening and Alessia walking in, ducking to fit under the door frame. 

 

“Sylvia, hey! You’re awake! Sleep well? You were really tuckered out last night, it was adorable.” Her smile set my insides on fire along with my face as I grew flush for what felt like the thousandth time since I’d been transformed. “So I already did all the supply shopping and stuff for tomorrow, which means we have until we need to leave tomorrow evening to do whatever you want! So where do you want to start? you had a big list.”

 

“Wait what do you mean? What list?”

 

“Oh, I guess it makes sense you wouldn’t remember, you were practically delirious last night. I guess the transformation must have taken a lot out of you because I’ve never seen you that exhausted in my whole life. Anyways you had a whole list of things you wanted to do?” I winced, suddenly scrambling to remember anything at all about what I may have said.

 

“What kinds of things?” I asked, dreading what my sleep-drunk self could have come up with.

 

“Oh it’s totally nothing to worry about, just cute little fantasies. You were telling me how, deep down, you think you had always wanted to be a girl, but you were too ashamed to admit it. And that you were going to act super girly, and have me treat you that way, and wear cute dresses. Also you insisted I treat you like my girlfriend, so we could blend in better.” I was frozen in place, staring at her, mouth agape as she nailed my coffin shut. But, well, at least that was only an embarrassing story that obviously definitely didn’t say anything broadly about who I was as a person. At least that was all behind me now and I didn’t have to contend with any embarrassing consequences. 

 

“So anyway, I told everyone in the inn, and also several people in town that we were dating. Also I bought you this cute dress! I think it should fit.” She held up a light, and incredibly frilly looking garment that I previously hadn’t even taken note of. It was a pastel green with long sleeves and a skirt that reached just below the knee, white trim around the sleeves, collar and waist, and a slightly risque neckline. I groaned, but also, well the dress did look pretty nice. And if I was going to be stuck as a girl for the next day or so I could at least try to enjoy myself, that was obviously better than sulking. And if enjoying myself meant being super girly then obviously that was the right move even if I totally definitely wanted to undo the magic. 

 

“Well okay fine we’ll do it but only because you want to.” I said, standing from bed and briskly walking to snatch the dress before scurrying away for privacy. 

 

“Wait hang on, that’s not what I--”

 

“No, no! It’s fine! We’ll do it, since you insist.” My voice was surprisingly firm and even almost intimidating, if not perpetually undercut by being really adorable.

 

“But I don --” 

 

“No really, you insist, it’s fine.” I was almost growling at that point, Alessia just stared at me for several moments, mouth slightly agape and eyes narrowed in thought, then suddenly something in her brain seemed to click, and she grinned widely.

“Right, definitely, I definitely insist.” She winked at me, then turned around to give me more privacy, and that was that. Somehow both hesitantly and eagerly, I donned the dress, my hands seeming to move of their own accord with practiced familiarity that only magic could grant me. I wasn’t ready for the sight I saw when I finally looked at myself in the mirror. Frankly I was just way too pretty, my nose was too cute and small, my jaw was too thin and angular, my eyebrows too sculpted, my big brown eyes too expressive, my skin too perfectly smooth, my body too ideally proportioned. Really it was just excessive and any overwhelming happiness I felt seeing myself like that was clearly just more weird spirit magic and definitely not some deep seated truth about myself that I was too scared to confront. 

 

I stepped away from the mirror after trying and failing to look away several times, then turned to face Alessia, clearing my throat gently. She turned around to face me, and gasped, “wow Sylvia! You’re so pretty like that.” 

 

“Uh, th-thanks. Y-you too.” Silence hung in the air for several moments as Alessia took in the sight of my awkward blushing. “Okay stop staring already!” I insisted, stamping my foot without even realizing it. “Moving on, we’ve got a big day today, obviously, since you have to take me out on a date and pretend to be my girlfriend, and since I have to act like a super cute girly girl all day.” I drew out the syllables in a dramatic, annoyed tone both times I said have, making little air quotes.

 

“Right, but we don’t actually ha--” Alessia took one look at the glare I was giving her and shut her mouth. “Yeah, we do have to do those things. You’re right.”

 

“Good, yes, of course, we don’t really want to but we have no choice.” I gave a big, exaggerated series of nods, and thought for a moment about what, exactly I even wanted to be doing with the time off. Suddenly,completely unbidden an array of hyper feminine activities that I never would have even considered previously sprung into my head. I try as I might I couldn’t help, but want to do all of them. It wasn’t like I could just admit to Alessia I wanted that though. That would be way too embarrassing, at the same time all those ideas seemed to fill me to burst with entergy. I took several deep breaths, trying to calm myself. 

 

I just had to say something casual and normal for us. It didn’t have to even be masculine, just normal friend stuff. “And since we don’t have a choice we might as well have fun like, uh f-for example m-maybe we could. Um, well not maybe we obviously definitely have to hold hands and stuff. And a-also you’re gonna have to carry me and stuff like yesterday.” I blinked in surprise, that was not what I’d meant to say, at least, it was what I was definitely trying not to admit I wanted to say. I could probably clear things up and have it be fine though. “And y’know, I don’t make the rules or whatever, but also it would be nice if we could get more clothes and also maybe eat sweets and have dinner together. B-but, only if you want to do that.” I rushed to say the last bit, not wanting Alessia to feel pressured even if it was totally out of my hands, then cursed myself silently for once again failing to apply any sort of filter to my thoughts whatsoever. I was about to completely take it all back when Alessia grinned again and picked me up in a tight, but comforting bear hug, and I stopped caring whether that had been what I’d meant to say.. 

 

“I’d like that a lot, Syliva.” She offered me her hand, which I shyly took, and we went on our way. The rest of the day was indescribably fun. Alessia led me around town by hand, letting me shyly cling to her whenever I felt overwhelmed by all the people trying to catch a glimpse of the newcomers. Whenever I gave even a hint of tiredness, she would scoop me up and taxi me about from location to location. We did all the things I’d asked for and more. We got sweets, went for a nice walk in a park,  went dancing at a little gathering in the center of town, and, of course, went dress shopping. We ultimately came away with about eight new outfits for me, and I tried to ignore what that said about my insistence that I was still totally going to turn myself back into a guy.

 

At the end of the night, Alessia and I were at the little tavern underneath the inn we were staying at, enjoying the aforementioned “as many flagons as she could want.” The woman was a machine, she’d put back a solid fifteen ales and barely seemed tipsy. Though that didn’t stop her from -- and maybe contributed to -- lifting me up off my stool and inter her lap as I briefly gave a half-hearted squeal of protest, then settled into the nice mix of firmness and softness that was my big, pretty friend who I was obviously absolutely not experiencing complicated feelings about. I rested my head on her shoulder, and she gently supported me with one arm while pulling back her sixteenth with the other. I didn’t want that feeling to end, ever. Or really any of the feelings I’d had all day. Suddenly there were big, wet tears in my eyes as I realized what we’d be doing tomorrow. 

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Alessia asked as she finished chugging and noticed the state I was in. 

 

“D-do we have to go to the other shrine tomorrow and turn me back into a man?” I asked, already knowing the answer but not wanting to confront what it all meant.

 

“Uhh, no, I don’t think so? If you’d rather be a girl we can definitely do that, I think you’re much cuter and happier this way too, so I’m definitely on board.” Alessia and I apparently couldn’t even have a debate without her making me blush.

 

“B-but even if I want to be a girl and have a girl’s body I’m still supposed to be a guy. That’s what everyone back home expects me to be anyway.” Who said people were was unclear even to me, but that wasn’t important, I was willing to cling to any excuse instead of doing any self-reflection that might lead to an existential realization.

 

“And who, exactly is going to make your life worse for you choosing to be a girl instead? Because I’ll have words for them.” Alessia clenched her fist and punched her open palm for emphasis.

 

“I mean, I guess nobody, but am I even allowed to be a girl? Like, do I deserve it?” Deep down I knew that wasn’t much of an argument, but the entire little house of denial I’d built for myself was constructed with paper thin justifications.

 

“I don’t really understand the question. That sounds like something you have to figure out for yourself, but also the answer is obviously yes because you’re clearly better off this way.” Since when did Alessia have such pointed things to say? It wasn’t fair for her to just so easily call me out like that.

 

“But what if it’s actually all fake or something and I --”

 

“Okay, that’s enough of that. This isn’t getting you anywhere. You wanna know how I know you’re actually a girl? It’s because I only like girls, and uh, well, you’re really cute and pretty and also have always been a really important friend to me so now that you’re a girl I uh,” she trailed off, trying to find the right words. “Well, would it be okay if I kissed you?” For the next ten or so seconds a lot of noises came out of my mouth but none of them were words, finally I just managed to nod, blushing profusely. Alessia smiled excitedly, “Okay, but first you have to admit you’re actually a girl and you don’t want to ever turn back.”

 

“Why are you so mean to me?” I slurred in a mixture of a whine and a mumble. Alessia just folded her arms and leaned back expectantly, fixing me with a smug gaze.

 

“Fine,” I muttered. “I’mactuallyagirlandIdon’twanttoturnback.” Even quickly mumbling it filled me with this weird, warm feeling.

 

“You’re going to have to speak up, cutie.” She said, leaning forward and curling a lock of my hair around her index finger.

 

“I’m actually a girl and I don’t want to turn back.” I managed to at least not say it directly into my glass this time. Smiling a little at the just how nice it felt to say it out loud.

 

“One more time, say it loud.” She giggled

 

“I’m actually a girl and I don’t want to turn back!” I practically shouted, nearly rising over the din of the noisy ambiance. From there, even more desires poured out of me completely unbidden.

 

“Also I want to wear all kinds of pretty clothes. Dresses are a good start but there’s a whole world of fashion out there. Also I want to take up some feminine hobbies. I’m definitely done adventuring I mean obviously girls can be adventurers but I kind of just want to be really stereotypical,  and oh it would be super fun to get a nice farmhouse with a pretty girl and be a housewife for her and we could--” by the time Alessia cut me off with another kiss I’d been speaking at rapidfire, hardly pausing for breaths as I let my fantasies run wild.

 

“Sylvia you’re getting way ahead too ahead of yourself!” Alessia said with a little giggle. “That’s like way more than what I asked for but still, I’m proud of you. That’s a good girl.” She said, stroking my hair.

 

“Bleagugh Wha--?” I was interrupted by her lips pressing into mine for a deep, long kiss that left me squirming in her lap yearning for more. “C-can we do that again? And again and again and again and again?” 

 

“Sure, the first time I didn’t do it right anyway.” Without another word she pulled me into a second long kiss, even more passionate than the first. 

 

When we pulled away, I was gasping for air, “w-wait, but how did you do it wrong the first time?”

 

“I dunno, but that one could have used some work too. As long as I don’t do it right I have an excuse to try again.” She looked way too pretty giving me that tender look as the alcohol made her cheeks glow pink in the night air. “I’m glad you finally figured yourself out, by the way.”

 

“Me too.”

 

“So do you wanna go find that third cave tomorrow and tell the spirit there we don’t wanna change anything?” She asked expectantly.

“What? There was no, nevermind.” I shook my head a little, then collapsed into a fit of giggles. We shared another long, tender kiss, and I couldn’t help thinking about how weird it was that I was now making out with my best friend who was gay and also so was I because I was a girl. Actually, that brought up an important point to ask her about. I shifted in her lap, and looked up into her eyes as she gently stroked my hair and lightly kissed the top of my head dotingly, “uh, by the way, Alessia? Do you, y'know, like me like me, or is it just a friend thing?”

I like to write stories where girls kiss each other. Scribblehub

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