"Mortal."(?)

 

Amara awoke to the voice that shook her to the very bones. As she opened her eyes, she noticed that she was laying with her face on a surface that seemed like a mirror. However, unlike a mirror, it was lukewarm to the touch. And the mirror was reflecting a bright light, bright enough to blind her.

 

As she raised her head from a small pool of her own drool, she looked up and saw that she was in a humongous circular room, several hundred meters in both diameter and height. The room should by all logic be too large for the dome shaped roof to be supported without any pillars. Towards the border of the room - in front of her, sat a being too bright to look at upon a golden throne.

 

Amara stood up to take in the rest of her surroundings. The only other being aside from the bright being in front of her was a young woman to her side, with platinum blonde hair and luminous grey eyes staring back at her. A pair of folded, glowing white wings protruded from what seemed to be a white toga that reached her bare feet.

Well I'll be damned. A god and an angel. Guess I'm having the weirdest, most lucid dream of my life, or I'm dead and these good-for-nothings picked me up.

 

"Indeed, you are dead. You have been chosen as our champion."(God)

 

Great. He can read my mind. Welp, guess I've got no secrets then...I might as well roll with it.

 

"...How did I die?"(Amara)

 

"Oh, you could say that you had an intimate greeting with Truck-kun!"(??)

 

The angel smiled and responded cheerfully as she looked at Amara. Somehow, Amara could only feel disappointed that she died and went to heaven the most cliché way possible in the history of light novels.

 

Oh yeah, it's coming back to me now. I was standing by a red light, browsing for my next novel to read on SH when I felt someone push me out onto the street.

 

"And you're what, my guardian angel? Bang-up job there, feathers. Didn't bother to stop the truck, nor the person who pushed me did you?"(Amara)

 

"Not at all. I'm the one who pushed you, after all."(??)

 

Stunned by the angel's statement, Amara only stared at her innocently smiling face.

 

"...you're the one who pushed me?"(Amara)

 

"Yup!" she responded cheerfully.

 

"So you killed me."(Amara)

 

The angel tilts her head. "I did no such thing. That was the truck."(??)

 

"I wouldn't have been killed by the truck if you didn't push me, right?" (Amara)

 

"True."(??)

"Then you killed me!" Amara retorted angrily.

"No, the truck killed you. I only helped."(??)

 

Is this girl stupid or just taking the piss out of me?

 

"Isn't there some kind of heavenly law against collecting souls early or something?"(Amara)

 

"There is. "(??)

 

"Then why did you collect mine?!"(Amara)

 

"Cause I didn't collect it directly?"(??)

 

"So what, it's like a loophole?!"(Amara)

 

The angel's smile grew wider, her white teeth gleaming between her pink lips as she started clapping her hands. "Exactly! I'm glad you understand!"(??)

 

This girl has a serious case of the nuts.

 

"Jeez..."(Amara)

"Sorry to disappoint you, he was a sham!"(??)

"....Figures."(Amara)

 

After all, I didn't give a damn about god or anything in my life. Always thought that even if he exists, he wouldn't care about me or anyone else.

 

Amara sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She could already feel a migraine coming.

 

At least I didn't have much attachment for my life on Earth. My family died tragically years ago, my new foster family were abusive drunkards, and my friends weren't there for me when I needed them.

 

"Then why did you push me?"(Amara)

"Because I chose you to become our champion!"(??)

 

Great. You are the chosen one! Line up and get your 10% discount on our latest offer! I really don't like where this is heading.

 

"...Why me?"(Amara)

"Because you always said that god - that's him over there by the way - if he exists - he definitely does - is doing a piss poor job, and that even you could do better!"(??)

 

"...well I don't want to be disrespectful, but what has he done for the people on Earth lately?"(Amara)

"Nothing."(??)

"...Nothing?"(Amara)

 

"Yup. Your world was abandoned by Father long ago."(??)

"...I'm pretty sure I can do a better job than someone who does nothing, don't you think?"(Amara)

"..."(??)

 

"..."(God)

 

"...I rest my case. Speaking of, is it really okay for him to just abandon a worldful of people like that? It's not like it's an unfinished novel that you can simply give up on."(Amara)

 

"Actually, it's exactly like that."(God)

 

As the blindingly bright being upon the throne finally decided to join the conversation, Amara almost stumbled as his voice made her body shake to the very core. The angel however seemed unaffected. Or perhaps merely used to it.

 

"Ezme, explain to the mortal about what becoming a champion entails."(God)

"Yes Father! So, there's a war going on between Father and another god who we call the Devourer. Or more precisely, between their creations, the gods themselves are prohibited from partaking in any fighting."(Ezme)

 

Is God some kind of armchair general? Somehow that makes way too much sense.

 

The angel - apparently called Ezme, took a deep, dramatic breath.

 

"So, the war is mostly fought with the mortal races in our care, whom we assist, on one side, and the demons on the other. However, I think the gods themselves grew bored with the war so they negotiated an armistice to have a bet. A line has been drawn on all mortal worlds directly affected by the war. A thousand years from now, a world we selected will become the final battlefield. There, the two champions will duke it out. If the demons manage to kill our champion and the mortals on that world, they win and gain control over all currently contested worlds. If the demons and their champion - a demon lord - are killed, then we gain the worlds instead!"(Ezme)

 

Holy shit she managed to say all that in a single breath. Impressive. Wait - do angels even need to breathe?

 

Ezme drew another dramatic breath and pointed straight at Amara's face.

 

"You, oh inferior being, have been granted the honor to receive the gift of divinity to become our champion, and given the glorious task to rid the worlds seized by war and suffering from the demons!"(Ezme)

 

"...Why does it have to be a mortal that becomes the champion? Wouldn't it make more sense for it to be an angel?"(Amara)

 

"Oh yes it would!" Ezme chirped cheerfully before she looked at Amara with a solemn expression. "But we don't want to die."

"...I'd like to refuse."(Amara)

 

"If you refuse, Earth will burn."(God)

 

"...You guys are like the mob. Why should Earth have to suffer if I refuse?"(Amara)

"Cause it was destined too to begin with silly! There was a reason it was abandoned you know!"(Ezme)

 

Dammit. Why should I even care about the people of Earth? It's not like they did anything for me. I mean sure, there probably were good people on Earth too, but I don't feel like I ever met them, nor do I owe them anything.

 

"Should you succeed, I shall grant you dominion over Earth instead of destroying it. As well as all the contested worlds in this war. Should you refuse..."(God)

 

Even Amara, without any kind of power, could sense an ominous change in the air. She didn't have to imagine that something bad would happen to her should she refuse again, she could feel it.

 

"Fine then. I'll accept, but only if you promise that even if I fail you won't let Earth be touched."(Amara)

"You are quite bold; attempting to strike a bargain with a god. Why should I care about your condition?"(God)

 

"Well...to motivate me? Or do you not care about winning at all?"(Amara)

Although God was far too bright for any mortal to gaze upon directly, Amara felt pretty certain that he had an angry expression on his face. Glancing at Ezme, she saw that Ezme had chosen to look away from her, whistling to herself.

 

Looks like I touched a nerve. Guess he might not actually care...but has to make the appearance that he does?

 

"Cease those useless thoughts."(God)

 

Crap. Forgot he can read minds. Now I'm surprised he didn't rebuke me earlier.

After a prolonged pause, God finally spoke again.

 

"If you become the champion, Earth shall be your domain after the war is over, regardless of success or failure. Whether you are there to claim it or not after, is up to you."(God)

 

"...Then I gracefully accept."(Amara)

 

Snickering, along with a muted and sarcastic "Graceful!" could be heard from Ezme as God raised his hand, which began blazing even brighter, towards Amara.

 

Amara had no chance to ask what was about to happen, before her body experienced pain like she never had before, leaving no room for thought before she lost consciousness.