Stepping out of the portal Amara noticed she did not arrive in her chambers like she expected. Instead, she appeared to be outdoors, although it was like no outdoors she had seen before.
In front of her stood three angels. They all stood on a crescent shaped observation deck - although it lacked any kind of railing.
Behind the angels Amara could see familiar bronze doors, the only interruption to the smooth, wide tower the observation deck protruded from. Letting her gaze follow the gentle curve of the tower she could see similar observation decks sticking out of the tower further away at regular intervals.
Both the observation decks and the wall of the tower were made of the familiar, mirrorlike silver.
Reflected in the tower wall, she could see what appeared to be clouds of light; bright, yet soothingly gentle as they pulsed and circled around at a distance away from the tower.
Amara looked at the angels before her.
One of them was who she was expecting; Ezme stood to her right, smoothie in hand.
The angel to her left was the tallest of them all, with a serene smile on her face. Her wings, while folded behind her, still gave the impression that they were far larger than the other two angels’ in her company. As her eyes moved from Ezme and instead focused on Amara, her eyes turned indifferent.
The angel in the center was a different story. She looked like the definition of Ezme’s big sister. She was taller than Ezme, the same height as Amara.
Her wings too, were noticeably larger than Ezme’s, and the brightest among the present angels. Beyond that, they looked almost identical. The same platinum blonde hair. Almost everything was the same.
Except for the lips set in a straight line and the cold, blue eyes.
Crap.
The alpha’s in the house.
The three angels’ gazes were all gathered on Amara. The indifferent, the cold, and the anxious.
“So this is the champion.” The angel in the center turned her head to Ezme. “This is what you chose? The mortal is weak. Don’t try to tell me this was the best you could find.”
I’m standing right here.
“W-well, I - “ Ezme hesitantly began.
“Ezme, you need to keep your head in the game. We’re at war! Even if the outcome would be the same, had you picked a top-tier warrior they would have been able to slay more demons. Remember that every demon the mortals kill, we don’t have to.”(????)
“Y-you’re right, but…”(Ezme)
“That’s enough, Alarice.” The serene angel interrupted. “Father approved Ezme’s choice. That is enough for us.”(?????)
“I am aware of that, Sophelia.” Alarice said with clenched teeth as she turned to face the angel. “I’m merely educating our little sister on how to act in the future.”
“And she has understood your point. Let it rest.”(Sophelia)
Alarice clicked her tongue. After a moment she turned her gaze to Amara.
“Mortal, know that you are but the means to an end. Your purpose is to fight and die. Do not believe I will allow you to drag my sister down with you.”
Amara frowned. “It’s Amara.”
Alarice eyes narrowed. “Come again.”
Gee, that sounded more like a threat than a question.
“My name is Amara. I’m pretty sick of people calling me mortal.”(Amara)
Sophelia closed her eyes as her gentle smile grew, while Ezme’s mouth fell agape.
Alarice stared Amara down before she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Hopeless. I should have expected.”
Sophelia opened her eyes. “Let us go sister, we both are needed elsewhere.”
Alarice nodded and looked at Ezme. “Don’t bother getting close to the mortal.” Then walked past Amara together with Sophelia. Amara followed them with her gaze.
Who the hell is this B?
Appraisal.
The rush of information she expected never came. Alarice slowly came to a halt and looked back over her shoulder at Amara with narrowed eyes. “Insolent mortal. Know your place.” The corner of her lips rose. “But perhaps allowing it will help with that.”
As Alarice turned away and began spreading her wings as she leaped over the ledge, at which point Amara’s head exploded in pain at the rush of information, followed by the sound of a bell. Just as quick as the pain had appeared, it was gone, but the moment was enough to make Amara fall on her knees.
[Ding!]
Amara looked up and saw both Alarice and Sophelia were nowhere to be seen. A familiar screen was before her.
Beware! Some attributes were out of scope of your Appraisal! Looks like you’re in trouble!
Appraisal Result
Name: Alarice
Race: Angel
Age: Appraisal Blocked
Titles:
Archangel
the Absolute
Vengence Incarnate
the Indomitable
Divine Power:
Parameters beyond scope of Appraisal
Parameters beyond scope of Appraisal
Parameters beyond scope of Appraisal
Strength: Appraisal Blocked
Agility: Appraisal Blocked
Dexterity: Appraisal Blocked
Vitality: Appraisal Blocked
Willpower: Appraisal Blocked
Divine Skills:
Appraisal Blocked
General Skills:
Appraisal Blocked
Appraisal has reached lvl 2!
I’ll be damned. I sure know how to pick them.
Amara felt a warm hand on her back and she looked away from the screen. Ezme’s anxious face was before her. Amara smiled at her. “Lovely family, eh?”
Ezme snorted. “You only have yourself to blame for that one Amara. That was reckless.”
Amara stood up. “Well, I got a level in my appraisal for it at least.” Her gaze passed to the half finished smoothie in Ezme’s hand. Amara realised that she hadn’t eaten or drank anything since dying. But she hadn’t felt the need for it either.
Ezme noticed her gaze and held out the smoothie to her. “It’s pretty good, you can have the rest if you want.”
“Why thank you.”(Amara)
As Amara drank from the straw, she noticed Ezme glanced at her lips. A thought crossed her mind. She decided to appraise Ezme.
Yup, I wasn’t mistaken.
Ezme who noticed her appraisal frowned. “What are you doing?”
Amara slurped. “Checking your age, I thought I remembered wrong.”
“Why are you checking my age?”(Ezme)
“Because you looked like you were thinking something that starts with ‘indirect’ and ends with ‘kiss’.” Amara teased with a smirk.
“I did not!” Ezme exclaimed as her cheeks flushed. She pouted and walked over to the ledge of the observation deck, sat down and began swinging her legs.
Amara followed after her with a smile, sitting down next to Ezme with her legs over the ledge. She took in the sight of the clouds of light, swirling around in the distance.
I need to get myself sunglasses. I’m surprised I haven’t gone blind with the endless light shows since I died.
Ezme asked quietly. “How are you holding up?”
Amara considered. She probably didn’t mean the deal with Alarice. “...I’m not sure yet.”
They sat in silence for a while, watching the clouds of light while Amara drank the rest of the smoothie.
“You need to choose an angel who can advise you.” Ezme eventually began. ”Even if they might not like you, they will be obliged to help you to a certain extent. If you want...I can introduce you to some…”
Amara tilted her head. “Can’t I choose you?”
“O-of course you could!” Ezme exclaimed hopefully, before the anxiety soon became apparent in her eyes. “But would that be okay? I mean...I killed you, remember? Besides, I’m not that exceptional compared to my siblings...”
After thinking for a few moments Amara answered. “Then tell me something. You don’t strike me as someone who looks down on mortals as much as you say you do. And I can’t say I’ve met many angels, but they seem pretty snobbish.”
“H-hey, thats - “
“Rude. I know, but am I wrong?” Amara looked at Ezme. “Is there another angel that is as tolerant of humans as you are?”
Ezme looked down and slowly shook her head.
“If the person I had to deal with for the next thousand years was like your big sis just now, I’d rather have you. So that settles the latter part.” Amara watched the floating clouds.
“As for the first part, I have a hard time to see you as someone who would murder an innocent mortal in cold blood.” Amara turned and smiled as she looked Ezme in the eyes. “Or did you?”
“I didn’t…” Ezme looked away embarrassed.
Amara’s smile grew warmer. She had already expected the answer. “I’m curious. Why didn’t you ask people if they wanted to volunteer? I mean there had to be some crazy idiot on Earth who would right? And from what little I know of you now, that’s what I think I’d expected you to do.”
“T-that’s! I-I…” Ezme stuttered and her voice grew fainter and hid her face from Amara’s view.
Now that’s a curious reaction.
Amara inched closer and leaned down to try and look up at Ezme’s face who in response muttered quietly as she failed to hide her burning cheeks. “...I tripped.”
Amara raised an eyebrow. “What was that?”
“I said I tripped! Okay! I’m sorry!” the loud voice of the angel came at Amara’s face as Ezme turned back the moist eyes in her bright red face to look at Amara.
As she watched Ezme’s lips quiver, the realization struck Amara, and upon imagining the scene she burst into laughter as she fell back and held her stomach.
“Y-you - “ Ezme started as she watched Amara in surprise. “You’re not angry?”
“Oh, I’m angry.” Amara replied with a large smile on her face as she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “So I guess you have to make it up to me.”
Ezme knit her brows. “Make it up to you?”
“Ahuh.” Amara beamed as she sat back up and leaned towards Ezme. “You’ll have to be the one to advise me. That, as well as a free pass to touch your wings. I fear that's what it'll take to curb my anger.”
Ezme’s lips twitched into a wry smile as her cheeks flushed and looked away. “Insufferable mortal.”
“Insufferable. And shameless.” Amara smiled as she reached her hand out for the beautiful white feathers.
Hello ! Thanks for the chapter !
First here are the typos :
"Her wings were too very noticeably larger than Ezme’s"
==> I would say either go for "Her wings too, were ..." or "Her wings were too, ..."
"Mortal, know that you are but means to an end."
==> "a mean to an end" maybe ?
"Amara smiled and followed, sat down next to Ezme with her legs over the ledge."
==> "sitting" instead of "sat" maybe ?
"Amara and smiled as she looked Ezme in the eyes. “Or did you?”"
==>I think you're missing a word before "and", or remove "and" altogether.
“You’re not angry.”
==> You put a dot instead of a "?" at the end of the sentence.
Now for the "feedback" :
"She was taller than Ezme, the same height as Amara."
So Amara is taller than Ezme huh, I don't think we had this info yet ... nice to know ... I'll remember this.
It's funny how, no matter how high and mighty any of the angels act, or will act, they will forever only be seen as stuck-up cowards by all of us (or by me at least). What's the point of making fun of and shaming the "mortal" whom you forced to take your place as a scapegoat because you were too scared to go yourself ?
And if Amara ever step too much past their line, they are free to kill her then take her place as the "champion".
I'm already excited for the day Amara will make them eat their words !
On another note :
INDIRECT KISS KYAAAAAAAA
In this chapter we got the tsun, but we sure damn got the dere.
Ezme ... you cute little ... birb.
... I'll change what Amara just said a little bit but it sounded like :
"I'd chose you over any angel; Ezme !"
After this chapter, I have but only one thing left to say :
ERZE MOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(or Moerze ?)
"This is getting repetetive." (Ezme)
"I know." (Amara)
Now now, thank our kind reader.
""Thank you!"" (Ezme) (Amara)
Corrected the mistakes! And yes, I like to slowly give the details of appearance. I don't know, I just don't want to make it boring for the reader and dump a 300 word block describing appearance in detail. I thought it'd be better that they are mentioned once noticed by Amara.
(Edit) I realise I shamelessly forgot to answer to more important question.
You will see that not all angels are going to make fun and shame Amara. One could say there is a...powerstructure in heaven. More will be revealed as you read on. But do remind me, or point out if you still consider it a plot hole later one.
The idea have about if Amara is killed, the contested worlds are lost. As the champion is obliged to fight - without the designated champion, the rights to the world are forfeitted. The subject of that is going to resurface at a later chapter, one I have thought out but not written as it's quite far into the story, but then it is maybe already considered 'too late' to be mentioned. Not too sure.
Thank you!
@hauntedwritings Thanks for the answer as always !
First of all I want to say, in case you took it that way, that none of what I said was meant/said in a negative way.
For exemple, the whole "height" thing was just me thinking "eheheh Amara is taller then Ezme " and that's it, I actually do agree with you that physical traits shouldn't be given in one huge block. (though there are some other stories I'm reading where even after tens of chapters I still don't know what the main characters looks like but whatever)
If you never took it that way then forget it, I'm just the kind of person who gets overly concious of what other people may or may not think/say about me.
For the whole "forfeited worlds" thing; if I do remember correctly it was either said or implied in the prologue and first chapter that both God and the angles don't really care all that much about them ?
I mean, they don't want to defend nor compete for them themselves, they consider the battle/war already lost, they don't want to die and so want to use a mortal as a scapegoat.
As Amara said in chapter one, "Guess he might not actually care...but has to make the appearance that he does?", even God is only acting the part of someone who cares.
(I might be wrong about the whole thing or everything will be explained later like : God as a grand plan to use this whole thing to make his angels more humble after Amara, a mortal, win the war they thought could not be won, so they stop looking down on mortals or strive to improve themselves or whatnot (I'm spouting nonsense) )
As for the angels, maybe there are factions, or maybe the ones more inclined towards mortals are from the lowest caste (like Ezme) and can't get their voice heard.
I'm wondering if I should stop commenting every chapter and just read the whole thing first.
(also sorry for spamming )
@Ahrina I didn't take an offense, I'm just considering if I've made the right choice in my way of writing. After all, as my first story, I'm unsure how others feel about it. I just like it that way personally. But sometimes, we don't even know we like something else better? After all, writing is an art that is difficult to master. You can always improve it.
And no, there's a little more to it than simply throwing a mortal as a scapegoat. The angels need the armistice, and don't want it to be dissolved before schedule.
Personally, I don't mind comments. But maybe other readers are bothered by it, so if you want you can always send me a message or post on my profile!
Thanks for the chapters
I hope you enjoyed!
"Stay with us!" - Amara