Chapter 13: A bard’s responsibility
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An intense surge of nausea coursed through Phil. He swayed, like a leaf in the wind, trying to catch his balance. His stomach heaved. He could hear his heart beat faster and harder. 


"W-whats going on?" He felt his thoughts slow and become muddled. His body slogged through his motion. It almost felt as if he was watching someone else pilot his muscled body. 

The acolyte gave him a look of concern and stepped toward him. "S-Sir, are you alright? Do you need me to fetch the clergy for you?"

"'m phyne. I haph to reporsh a mathe. A majje... A-a preddy gurl…" Phil slurred through his words horrendously. He couldn't speak properly, his tongue seemed to fumble and twist at the worst possible moments. Even worse, he couldn't even hear himself think. 

Everytime that he thought of telling them about Zephyra, he could only see her brilliant smile. Or, the radiant cheer that exuded from her divinity. Or, her unmatched skill when she patched them up. Or, the sheer cuteness and perfection that she embodied.

Their healer was a Goddess. A goddess!

The world had to know of her glory!

"S-sir?" The acolyte only became more confused. The large well muscled, and admittedly attractive, man had addressed him, started to stumble, slur his speech, and then suddenly fell silent; as if he was trying to comprehend the meaning of the universe.


Or, possibly a stroke, he had some medical training after all. He couldn't discount the possibility.

"M-maybe, I should get the clergy to look at him…" The acolyte thought and began to panic, he glanced around desperate for help.

Phil's rough calloused hand shot out toward the acolyte and caressed his smooth baby face. The acolytes cheeks lit up like a wild brush fire on the dry arid plains. Their eyes met and lingered with smoldering intense passion.

Only one thought coursed through Phil's addled mind…

"HE MUST KNOW THE GLORY OF OUR GODDESS!"

"I mush repoir that our majj ish the cuteish."

"Huh?" The poor acolytes head spun in circles from the whiplash. "Wait. What? It's not about me?"


He couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed.


"But, wait... didn't he suddenly get sick? Why did he stare into my eyes so passionately? What's going on... I-i could've sworn I heard my heart skip a bit…" He quickly shook his head as his eyes turned into confused, dazed spirals. 

"Sheesh the besh healer. Zeph-zeph…" Phil continued and frowned. He couldn't pronounce his goddesses name. "Sheesh da besh. Sheesh jot the squishiest cheeks."

He stood up, towering over the acolyte, and began to shout the praises of their newest party member. Yet, deep within him, buried underneath the haze of confusion, he thought, "Wait, this isn't right. This isn't what I wanted to say."

Phil's volume rose as he continued to speak. It wasn't long before he was slurring and screaming the praises of the incredible, adorable and magnificent Zephyra. The bestest, cutestest, healer he had ever seen!

A crowd gathered at the growing commotion. They laughed and tittered amongst themselves at Phil's strange antics.

"A drunk perhaps?"


"Or, maybe a fool in love."

As for the poor acolyte, he couldn't understand what was going on. He was lost in his own private thoughts. 


"Gee... He's really tall. And, he cares a lot about this girl...", Somehow, that thought made him feel a bit sad.


Ted was aimlessly wandering nearby when he had suddenly heard a very familiar, very drunk, and very passionate voice amongst the crowd. 

"Huh? Is that Phil?" Ted asked himself and hurried over to investigate. 

He jostled and fought his way through the crowd. The fervor and heated pitch of the speaker had reached a boiling point just as he broke through to the front of the mass. 

"Uh… Phil?", Ted whispered in disbelief.

"Praish Zeph-zeph! Praish the healiest, the prettiestest, of all!" Phil had worked himself up into a sweaty zealous mess and howled at the top of his lungs. He looked like he was about to collapse at any moment. Every ounce of his strength, which was considerable, was spent in devotion to their healer.

He swayed one last time as he began to fall. He felt a bit content and at peace, as his consciousness drifted away.


"They had heard. Maybe they had understood." He smiled to himself and collapsed into the arms of the acolyte. They tumbled to the ground together.


"Uh, that was weird. I didn't even know that Phil drank. Unless… oh gods… did something happen to Karen?" Ted quickly stepped forward and addressed the crowd. 

"H-hey everybody! How ya doing? Good, yeah? That was quite a performance, huh?" He nervously rambled trying to think of an excuse. 

"H-hes had a bit of a rough morning. Too much to drink, I guess. And, wandered off without me. I'll just, uh, take him back now."

He turned away from all of the questioning stares and confused faces. 

"A drunk? Oh, is that all this was about?" He heard a few among the crowd whisper.

"Not a youthful romance?", He heard another one question.

"I was kind of hoping for some BL though..." He heard one girl in the crowd whisper.

"Holy shit! This is embarrassing! I'm not used to covering up for other people", He paused and stared at his hands in wonder. "Am- am I becoming the responsible one?"


He quickly approached Phil and helped roll him off the acolyte. 

The acolyte quickly sat up and gasped for air. And, began to profusely thank Ted. "Oh, thank the gods, he's a lot heavier than…"

The acolyte glanced back down at the unconscious Phil. 

"Huh, no, he's actually exactly as heavy as he looks", The acolyte finished with a shrug. 

"Ha, yeah. He's pretty hefty."

The two sat in an uncomfortable silence. Neither was quite sure what to say next.


Ted was so far out of his comfort zone. He was usually the trouble maker. He didn't have any experience in cleaning up other people's mess. 

"So… yeah. He's heavy, um, I don't think I can get him back to the inn myself?" He glanced hopefully at the acolyte.

"Oh. Um, I can help. I think…", the acolyte looked at Phil and felt nervous for some reason. "As long as you tell me what this is all about."

Ted lifted one of Phil's arms over his shoulder. The acolyte draped himself in the other. They both stood and began to drag Phil back to the inn together. 

"My name's Ted by the way. The unconscious heavy mountain is Phil." Ted introduced himself after they had gotten a small distance from the clamoring crowd.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Bob."

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