Chapter 30
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“Your guess is as good as mine,” says Alastaire as he pokes at a pancake with his fork.

“He went out for a bit,” Lyall says in between mouthfuls. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon. Don’t stress ‘bout it Kit.”

“He went out?” says Kitty, her eyebrows knitting together in worry.

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist,” Alastaire says. “He’s just out doing loner junk in the forest. Typical.”

Kitty shakes her head, looking gloomily at the counter.

“You worry too much,” says Ben as he pats her on the back. “It’s not like he’s gonna get run down by a rabid pack of bloodthirsty fangirls this deep in the woods. Unless you told your buddies about us, Ashling.”

He winks at me, and I almost choke on the bite of pancake I was busy swallowing.

“My friends would never do that," I say while trying not to cough or choke. “And I didn’t tell anyone where I was going. No one else knows where you are.”

“Good,” says Kitty, acknowledging me for the first time. “It needs to stay that way.”

She focuses her attention on her pancakes again, slicing them up with quick, precise movements. Even her manicure looks expensive – long, perfectly filed nails that look like they’re covered in a thin sheet of actual mirror – more reflective than you could achieve with only silver nail polish. They must be stick-ons or something. A row of cute rose gold rings are stacked on the middle finger of her left hand, linked by a delicate twisting chain. Even with her makeup all smudged, she's like rock royalty. She could easily be gracing the fashion pages of Vogue right now. So on point.

She’s the most perfect girl I’ve ever met. Like if Instagram and Pinterest had a love child.

Jamie would absolutely hate her.

She catches me staring and shoots me a withering glance.

I notice for the first time that her eyes are an intense greenish-goldish-brown, the hazel of cats’ eyes. That, along with the aloof attitude, ivory skin against dark tousled hair…

Kitty and Felix.

Could they be…

“I don’t remember saying you could wear my clothes, Kitty,” Felix says. He’s in the doorway, arms crossed in front of him as he leans against the doorframe.

“Serves you right for stealing my eyeliner all the time,” Kitty retorts. “Anyway, I saved you some breakfast and a cup of java. I promised mum I’d make sure you eat properly.”

I feel an instantaneous rush of something. Relief? No, that’s stupid. Who cares if she’s just his sister? Not me.

“I don’t think she had pancakes and coffee in mind,” says Felix as he settles down on a bar stool opposite me. “Anyway, how’s your head doing?”

“Yeah, you got kinda carried away with the merlot last night,” Ben says. “How many bottles did you down?”

For the first time since I arrived, I notice a half empty bottle of red wine on the kitchen counter.

Kitty just lifts one perfectly manicured nail in response, flipping him off.

“Guys, let’s get back on track,” Elliot says, rising and gathering up our empty plates.

“Ashling, the fact that you’re here means you’ve considered our proposal,” he continues. “So – have you made up your mind?”

“Good question," Ben says. "Are you going to help us or not?”

Once again, all eyes are on me. There’s a moment of expectant silence as everyone waits for my response.

I hadn’t really made up my mind before heading here. I hadn’t even thought about whether I was going to say yes. I thought things would be clearer once I arrived, after I’d spoken to the whole band.

But right now I’m feeling more confused than ever. I don’t fit in here. Kitty seems to hate me, and Felix definitely hates me. The others make me nervous too. I don’t know how I could survive more than a few hours of this.

“I don’t… I actually don’t know yet,” I say.

“Seriously?” Felix says. “What’s there to be uncertain about?”

“I’m just not… I’m not the right person for what you need,” I say.

“That’s our decision,” Felix says.

“I’m really sorry if we rushed you Ashling,” Elliot says. “You probably have a lot of questions about exactly what we’re wanting from you. Ask away.”

I don’t even know where to begin.

“Well… last night, I thought… you said you need me to play acoustic guitar on the new album,” I say. “And you’re going to record the whole thing here. I get that. But how long is it going to take? And what happens after that? I just help you and then you leave?”

Realization dawns on Elliot’s face, and the boys shoot glances between each other.

“Of course, I’m sorry we didn’t think of that,” Elliot says. “We can pay you whatever you want. Just name your price and we’ll meet it.”

I feel my cheeks flush.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” I say. “I just don’t get how it’s going to work. How long are you going to be staying here? How many times do you want me to come here?”

“Every day,” Felix says. “For the whole of the summer.”

What?!

His expression is as deadpan as ever, as he sips his black coffee. He’s clearly not joking.

“I don’t know if I can do that,” I say. “I mean, I’m meant to help out at my parents’ restaurant some evenings. And I’m actually already in a band, I sort of have a commitment to them, so I thought this would be more like… I don’t know… maybe one or two weekends or something.”

Felix slams his mug down on the table, swishing coffee out all over the wooden surface.

“You seriously think we’d be able to record our next album in just one or two weekends?” He says. “We’re not some lame ass school band. We’re making real music, the sort that sells millions of albums. There’s no half in with this. Make up your mind.”

Elliot places a hand on Felix’s shoulder, nodding his head.

“Felix is right,” he says. “You’d need to be with us in the recording studio at least five days a week. An album of this magnitude… it’s a lot of work. But we want to make sure you get something out of it.”

“Take us up on it Ashling,” Alastaire says. “Money’s not an issue. Think of it like a really cushy nine to five job where you get to make music all day and hang out with none other than People Magazine’s Hottest Guy of the Year.” He does a sort of duck face as he says it, and the rest of the boys all face palm. Ben immediately grabs Alastaire’s head and noogies him.

"Just you wait pretty boy," he says while Alastaire squirms around in his arms. "This year it's my turn."ear

I clear my throat. “I don’t want money,” I say.

“Well then what do you want?” Felix asks.

What do I want? What I want is to get over my issues, start feeling alive again, get signed to a big record label, follow my dreams of making it as a musician. Share my songs with the world, just like gran told me to. Stop feeling like every minute of every day I’m about to fall over a cliff.

“I don’t know,” I say.

“Let's not worry about de specifics for now,” Lyall says. “Why don't we show Ash round de recordin' studio? It'll help her make her mind up.”

I’m about to take him up on it when Kitty rises abruptly from her bar stool.

“That can wait until tomorrow,” she says. “Ashling and I need to have a little chat. C’mon, I’ll walk you home.”

She takes my elbow, pulling me up from my chair. Felix grabs my other elbow and pulls me back down roughly.

“She only just got here Kitty,” Felix says. “There’s still a lot more to talk about.”

“Not until she thinks it all through,” Kitty says. She looks me directly in the eye, very sternly. “Go home for today, think about what you want to do, and let us know tomorrow.”

Everyone’s just silently watching me again. I hate this.

I nod, as Kitty grabs my arm again and pulls me away from the kitchen counter.

“Well, I guess that’s back to bed for me,” Alastaire says. “See you later Cupcake.”

Felix is staring at his sister with a look that could kill as she sweeps me out the kitchen door and into the passageway.

“Have you got all your shit?” She asks. “No bag or anything?”

I just shake my head, and she pulls me out the front door, like she can’t get me away from the cabin fast enough.

I didn’t even get to say goodbye to the guys.

“You and I missy,” she says as she drags me into the forest, “need to have a serious talk.”

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