“And I'll go to work and I'll go to sleep / And I'll love the littler things / I'll love some littler things”

 

Few embers remained; they smoldered, dying slowly, emanating their final faint glow, which cast itself upon Sybil’s face, illuminating her soft smile and watery eyes. Madelyn watched her, eyes cast slightly upward from her position resting against her lover’s shoulder. It had taken some getting used to, but oftentimes being smaller than Sybil could be quite nice. For so much of Madelyn’s life she’d felt like she took up too much space, felt like all eyes were on her, certainly noticing each and every thing she disliked about herself. Sybil’s pendant had done a good job fixing that problem, even if she’d actually grown larger in the process, but still, there were days where just being the small one felt right. She had actually offered to assume her larger form for this, though. In her mind, Madelyn assumed Sybil might want someone to wrap her up, to sooth her; apparently, though, Sybil found more comfort in the one she loved clinging tightly to her.

 

Not a great deal had been said, but perhaps that came later. These sort of things were pretty unfamiliar to Madelyn even on Earth; whatever customs Sybil might follow were an enigma. Mostly, she seemed deep in thought. ‘Ruuk had curled herself around both Madelyn and Sybil, drawing the two together, and Sybil seemed to be content just letting her two most precious loved-ones remind her that, despite what she’d lost, she wasn’t alone. She never would be again. The last little glow was beginning to die now, Madelyn cast her gaze away from her lover’s face, and took in their fire’s last moments. Darkness swallowed it, and with a final crackle, the smoke began to dissipate. Perhaps it was part of Sybil’s magic, or perhaps the forest around them felt the need to pay its own respects to the woman who had once called it home, but the world around Madelyn grew silent to match the impenetrable blackness. If not for the touch of her lover, Madelyn wasn’t certain how she could even know that she were still anchored in reality. 

 

“I miss her,” Sybil murmured, her voice wavering with heavy emotion.

 

“I know.”

 

“I suppose I always missed her, this whole time. It was easy to pretend I didn’t when I could tell myself I hated her for what I thought she did to me. But even then, deep down, I still missed her. I was alone for so, so long, Madelyn, just me and ‘Ruuki.” Along her waist, Madelyn felt a light stirring from Lady Hissruuk at the sound of her name. Sybil affectionately stroked her familiar’s head, earning a pleased purr of a hiss.

 

“I’m sorry it had to be like this, Sybil. I wish I could have met her.” Without warning, the moment of quiet reverie was cut to an abrupt halt by Sybil bursting into laughter. Madelyn practically jumped before settling back into place and fixing the woman she loved with wide, bewildered eyes. “What is it?” 

 

“Nothing, just, she would have hated you, at first anyway. ‘You’re forsaking your training? And for what? Some girl? What do you need romance for when the secrets of the universe are ripe for the picking, Sybil?’” Whether or not Sybil’s impression was accurate was beyond Madelyn, though Sybil herself, at the very least, seemed absolutely delighted by her own performance, breaking into another fit of laughter between little sniffles. “Illis was always a magic for magic’s sake kind of woman. Though the moment she learned where you were from you’d probably have never gotten her to leave you alone. From there, it would have only been a matter of time.”

 

“A matter of time until what?” Madelyn asked.

 

“Until she admitted you were good for me.” There wasn’t nearly enough light to glimpse Sybil’s face, but Madelyn could very easily imagine her flashing a sly grin and a cheeky wink. “You’d have grown on her. I mean hey, you grew on me, you grew on ‘Ruuk; that’s a pretty good indication. The only person you haven’t needed to grow on so far is Jasper, and he’s a good judge of character if you ask me.”

 

“Wait, Jasper? Her familiar?” 

“Oh, yes. He’s in a tree across the clearing; he’s been watching with us the whole time, remembering with me. He thinks we’re cute together, which we are. He says it looks like you make me happy, which you do.” Sybil planted a gentle kiss on the top of Madelyn’s head, letting her lips linger and press lightly for several moments before rising.

 

“So did you want to say anything, or...?” The words hung in the air for a moment, Sybil seeming to need a moment to fully consider the question. Finally, she shook her head gently.

 

“No, I think I’ve said what I need to say. To Jasper, to myself, to you. Believe it or not, despite the things I’ve seen, I’m not actually certain what typically happens when someone dies. But, if Illis is out there somewhere, she heard me. Now, though, I don’t want to dwell on the past anymore. I’ve spent too much of my life stuck between a past I wanted to escape and a future I didn’t know how to find. I want to enjoy right now. I want to enjoy you.” Her head came to rest atop Madelyn’s, cuddling closer in the cool night air. A contented sigh escaped her lips. Lately, that was a sound Madelyn had heard Sybil make quite often. It was amazing just how quickly her general mood had improved in the few days since the two had gotten together. Any urgency had left her; she was no longer anxious, no longer irritable or constantly in her own head. 

 

Things had mostly been the same for Madelyn. Figuring herself out had been such a load off her mind. There was no longer any question about who she wanted to be. They were just Madelyn. Sometimes one way, sometimes another, always herself. Sybil had also done wonders for Madelyn’s wellbeing. Despite the myriad ways the two were so very different, Sybil never ceased to make Madelyn laugh, or think, or absolutely awestruck. And yet there was some enduring nibble of doubt that, unlike Sybil, Madelyn had yet to purge. Perhaps it was lingering guilt from her choice to leave, or maybe she simply still couldn’t fathom being worth someone as perfect as Sybil, but the idea that they of all people happened to be the one from Sybil’s dreams still struck Madelyn as somehow wrong. 

 

“Hey, Madelyn? Are you alright?” The concern in Sybil’s voice snapped Madelyn from her thought spiral, but the doubt still lingered. She had learned, though. For Sybil’s sake, Madelyn would not let this fester. 

 

“Mostly, yeah, I’ve just been thinking a lot; Sybil, I’m sorry if this is a bad time, but are you sure it’s me? Like, I’ve just had a really hard time believing that, I guess, about myself, you know? You told me that, when you cast the spell, you deliberately had it target me instead of making it search for you ‘true love’ or whatever. How do you know you did the right thing?” Her eyes trailed up to where she knew Sybil’s face would be, though still glimpsed nothing in the blackness. As though detecting that very thought, a moment later, a burst of light erupted from Sybil’s fingertips, casting her face in a soft, dull glow. She was smiling sympathetically, patiently, lovingly. That was a smile that could ease any worry, but was it wasted on someone like Madelyn?

 

“If you’re asking whether I chose the person ordained by my dreams to be the one I’ll love forever then, well, I don’t know. I can’t know. In the moment, when the time to cast the spell came, I thought it was you. I chose you. And I think I made the right choice, even if I can’t be certain.” The way Sybil was looking at Madelyn went a long way to convey her point. Boundless affection flowed from her gaze. It was almost enough, but that little spark of uncertainty was still there. How could Sybil snuff it out? Did she not wonder herself whether the life she had chosen wasn’t as good as the one she could have had? 

 

“But what if you’re wrong? What if you made a mistake? That doesn’t bother you?” Madelyn envied Sybil, in a way; she seemed far more sure of herself than she had any right to be.

 

As if to prove her point, Sybil flashed a self-assured smile, one probably not too different from that roguish grin Sybil had teased Madelyn over. “I don’t care if I’m wrong. If I made a mistake, then it’s a mistake I get to make with you, again and again, every day for the rest of my life. Which makes it a pretty damn good mistake, if you ask me. Probably the best one I’ve ever made. And that’s all that matters to me.” Sybil squeezed Madelyn tighter, and there was no denying just how much comfort that brought. Days could be spent rationalizing away Sybil’s justification, but when all was said and done, every moment Madelyn spent with her felt right. 

 

“I suppose I don’t have much choice but to believe you then,” she teased, nuzzling into Sybil’s shoulder. 

 

“Good, because you’re the person I want to make a life with, Madelyn. And there’s nothing dreams or magic or fate can do to change that, so put any doubts of yours to rest. This is your home now. My cabin is yours, my garden is yours, this forest is yours, I’m yours.” Perhaps Sybil was being overly saccharine, but it worked. Madelyn sniffled a little, then she laughed.

 

“You know, if somebody told me a couple of weeks ago that soon enough I’d be settling down to live my life as a cottage-core lesbian I’d have looked at them like there were insane, but here we are.” The way Madelyn said ‘here we are,’ it carried weight to it. It may have been left unsaid, but both she and Sybil knew what followed it: ‘And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.’ Or hopefully Sybil had gotten the message; she seemed a little hung up on something else Madelyn had said.

 

“Cottage-core lesbian? You’ve explained this one to me before, right?” Sybil screwed up her eyes and tightened her mouth, wracking her brain for the meaning.

 

“Nevermind, it’s a pretty niche term which I happened to picked up from being a fan of way too many sad-bisexual-woman-indie-rock-singer-songwriters. Kind of makes sense why I gravitated toward that kind of music, in hindsight.” Madelyn offered a light shrug, Sybil only looked more baffled.

 

“That didn’t help me understand even a little bit.” Her voice was a perfect deadpan, but Madelyn knew she saw the humor in the whole exchange. As though to prove her point, only moments later, both had burst into a fit of giggles. Both continued to laugh like that for a while, just basking in one another’s happiness, but eventually, it died down. The silence which followed didn’t last long though. “Say, while we’re just sitting around and talking. I’ve had something on my mind as well lately.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yes. it’s kind of strange. But there’s this rock I have; it’s more of a gem, or a crystal. In one of my dreams I was showing it to you. This feels like an odd thing to ask, but do you want to see it? I almost feel as though I’m supposed to show it to you. It wasn’t a big deal or anything, we were just kind of looking at it, and I don’t expect anything important of it. It’s just, that’s what happened. So I feel like if it happened in the dream it should happen in real life too? I don’t know.” She paused, a low croaking sound escaping her lips as she struggled to find her words. “I just—this feels odd. We don’t have to do it.” 

 

Madelyn chuckled. “Hey, it’s fine. I mean, you can show it to me. I don’t really get how your dreams worked, and I’m getting the sense you don’t really either. But sure, you can show me.” There was a brief, expectant silence. “Did you want to do that now, or?” 

 

“Now? Oh, not really. We’ve got better things to do. Some other time. At the end of the day it’s just a rock. If the dreams really were pre-ordained, then I suppose it’s bound to happen eventually. If they weren’t, well, I already have what I came for, so. No sense worrying over it.” Cocking her head slightly, Sybil gave the thought a dismissive wave.

 

“Speaking of your dreams, and spells and all that. I know I was pretty excited to leave and all, but now that I have this body, now that I have you, the idea of going back to Earth at some point doesn’t sound so bad. Do you think you could swing that, some time? Might be a fun date.” The thought of Sybil trying and failing to keep her composure in the face of everything Earth had to offer had been tickling Madelyn quite a bit lately. Besides, she definitely missed the food. And the entertainment. 

 

After a few moments of thought, Sybil nodded. “I think I could, yes. Though we’d need more reagents, and I have no intention of going off on any more dangerous adventures, too risky. I don’t think my heart could take even almost losing you again. So it might take a while to get everything we need, though checking Illis’ stock wouldn’t be a bad idea. I just—I don’t want you to get your hopes up too much about going home soon and—”

 

“Hey, don’t worry. We’ll figure it out, no rush. I’ve got everything I need already.” With a reassuring squeeze of Syibl’s hand, Madelyn swept aside any doubt that any homesickness was pressing. Sybil breathed a relieved sigh, nodding slowly.

 

“I’m glad.” She gently ran her thumb along the back of Madelyn’s knuckles, a certain quiet, solemn, but overall optimistic air returning to her. “I think I’d like to turn in for the night; could use a good cry after all this memorializing.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Let’s head in then. But no more talk of whether this was the right call, okay? I don’t like hearing you put yourself down.” Sybil stood, tugging Madelyn to her feet. This close to her, Madelyn had to crane her neck to look her lover in the eyes, which was strange, but nice. 

 

“Alright.”

 

“Good,” without another word, Sybil leaned in and kissed Madelyn long and slow, pouring in all her love and desire. In her mind, there was no further room for discussion, nothing left to debate, Madelyn was hers; if that was good enough for Sybil, perhaps it could be good enough for Madelyn. After all, Sybil made a good point; had this been a mistake, it was a damn good one.