Nymus

Think that I can do the next chapter again for the weekend. Maybe there is another VSS until then. I am unsure whether I should insert a R18 in the meantime, planned is only one for next week.

Just write in the comments if you can not live without. If I'm in the mood I may listen to you.

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

Monty Python

Somewhere in the promised, Holy Land of the Holy Empire of Nagronde.

"So, Bishop Slipwind have you taken care of the problem with Cardinal Rambuck?"

"Your Holiness, there are complications. The cardinal did not just keep a few animals for amusement. When we investigated the circumstances we found some sort of farm with animals.  His Eminence called it, if I may quote his "petting zoo"." On site were 28 cats, dogs, rabbits and a little pig."

"I understand, Bishop. It is unfortunate that the Cardinal could not keep his bawdy escapades more secret. He was quite good at his job of finding heretics and then burning them in a crowd-pleasing manner. Most unfortunate. The complications are?"

"None, Your Holiness. For reasons that cannot be explained, the entire household of Cardinal Rambuck went up in flames. Pretty accurately in two hours. Very sad, but the gods called for him."

"You are exquisite in your work, Bishop. I like that in an aspiring believer. You'll go far in the clergy yet."

"What about Lady Evelyn and Sir Wyatt? Any results regarding the rumors of sacrilege in Mitoran? By the way, quite an excellent idea to dispose of these two as slaves afterwards."

"Thank you, Your Holiness, for your generous praise. Regarding Lady Evelyn and Sir Wyatt, I can only report partial success, Your Holiness. We have already received the gold from our contact at the slavers. However, the two disobeyed their orders and were enslaved before they could clear up the rumors."

"Disobedient, stupid bunglers. It was the right decision to separate us from them. What alternatives do you have in mind, Bishop?"

"Your Holiness, it depends on what is more important. If you desire a quiet investigation, I will send a reliable pair to Nuldur this time. If, on the other hand, it is desired to raise some dust, then a detachment from the Inquisition would be a more appropriate choice. The only thing to keep in mind is that if the Inquisitors find something, we will be forced to start a crusade to eradicate the sacrilege and punish the heretics and infidels. We could, of course, also choose Your Holiness's nephew ..."

"I beg you Bishop, my sonofab cough cough nephew has just been sent to Nuldur because of his stupidity. I might as well ask some animals on the street. Send the inquisition. But with strict orders that they are to find "nothing". If there is something to the rumors, I will decide later how the clergy will vote and what reaction the church will show. For a crusade, I need more gold."

"Your Holiness, prices for slaves are exquisite in Mitoran right now."

"Are they? Cardinal Rambuck's animals are miraculously saved. We'll sell them to Mitoran. Draw up a papal bull asking every believer to immediately hand over all animal slaves to papal supervision. Drop the story about the fire at Cardinal Rambuck's house to the Curia and express concern that hopefully similar incidents will not occur with other high-ranking members of the clergy. Sell all animals to Mitoran."

"As Your Holiness directs. There are other ways to get gold, if I may be so free, Your Holiness."

"And what opportunities would those be, and why haven't we exhausted them yet, Bishop Slipwin?"

"These options have only recently arisen, Your Holiness. Through the Trade Guild, we have been offered a kind of bounty on each orphan. One gold piece per head. Considering that the church incurs expenses of nearly 25 gold pieces by the time a child comes of age, we not only save 25 gold pieces per child, no, we actually make money on it."

"Sell all the children. I hate children like the plague. We also collect additional donations through the collections at church services. This advice is excellent. What other choices do we have?"

"As Your Holiness directs. There are other inquiries through the Trade Guild. They want to buy up every tar pit and acquire land in general."

"Sell every tar pit, no idea what the Trade Guild finds in it, if I can sell these stinking pits I am satisfied. Anything else?"

"As your holiness directs. Your Holiness, we are talking about a new bank in Nuldur. We can assume that the directors of the other banks are keeping a low profile regarding our usual repayment behavior. These money changers begrudge each other anything. There is, however, the complication that the bank board lends its gold only against collateral. Lands, buildings, mines these things. There should also be the possibility of offering lakes and rivers as collateral."

"Find out more about this collateral. No, the bank is new you say? What's the name?"

"The Royal Bank of German Nation, Your Holiness."

"Funny name, never heard of it. Find out more. To that end, offer all the islands off the Dwarf Coast as collateral. The way it's crawling with pirates, we're just wasting our navy there. As soon as the first repayment is due, we contritely ask for forgiveness and hand over the property. In three or four years, we'll send out the Fleet of Faith again and recapture the islands from the pagans."

"As Your Holiness directs. An excellent idea, Your Holiness."

"Do we have anything else to discuss, Bishop? I have another appointment with a virgin, and you know how hard virgins are to find these days. For this one I had to pay his parents even 100 gold pieces."

"Just one thing. Your Holiness remember the assignment regarding mirrors?"

"You found a mirror in the size I desired? Unbelievable! Finally!"

"Yes, Your Holiness. Even slightly larger than the desired man-length by man-length. The measurement is 2 by 2 meters. The 2 meters is a little more than I am tall. The price, however, was not cheap at almost 5 platinum, Your Holiness."

"Never mind, 5 platinum is almost a gift for such a mirror. Buy ten more mirrors. When will it be here so I can hang it over my bed?"

"In a week, Your Holiness."

"Excellent. Now get out, Cardinal Rambuck's animals aren't going to sell themselves."

"As Your Holiness directs."