There is a rumour, your are not a true scotsman if you arent fighting aside with you clan in your soiled and pissed kilt and telling your comrade what a great fight this is. Several Scots confirmed this and recommended that if I ever got into a fight with English, I should say the following:

 

Sabaid mhath? Tha.

Mùinte anns an fhèileadh fhathast? Tha.

An-dràsta. Thu fhèin? Tha, ceart aig an toiseach.

Sabaid mhath! Tha!

 

Not sure about that.

 

Unknown Origin

Somewhere on an ocean in a pirate infested area.

" Cap'n? I've got a rotten hunch a´out t´is."

"How bad exactly, duine maol?"

"Aye Cap'n, for spittin'. If I ain't wearin' a fèileadh I'd hafta be runnin' all the bloody  ´ime on ´count o´ teh shittin'."

"Have you pissed yerself in the fèileadh yet?"

"Aye, Cap'n."

"Set aloft ye sails. Veer out of these waters and caper somewhere else. Anytime duine maol gets seasick, puking around, and the shits have gotten bad enough. Get outta here as fast as ya can!"

"AYE, AYE, CAP´N!"