Ying Zhen understood that part even without her explanation. In any case, she had mentioned before when she handed out the lanterns that there were only seven days given to the souls.
He hadn’t wondered why but it made sense now. He really felt like he understood this place better now. However … "I am still alive. Why does the soul path concern me? Shouldn’t I have been able to just pass through to the gates without being hindered?"
"That …" Laryana furrowed her brows. She had also wondered about that before and she had thought about it more while he attempted to get through the battlefield again. She still hadn’t been able to find an answer though. "I am sorry but I don’t know. Heidan would have been the only one who could say for sure.
"If I had to guess … it might be because — no matter whether you are alive or dead — you still possess a soul like everyone else who comes here. And just like those of the deceased, there is also regret contained in your soul. Maybe being dead isn’t the important factor but having a soul."
"Mn. That’s quite possible." Ying Zhen accepted her explanation without arguments. Even if she wasn’t sure, it sounded plausible enough. Now the only question was what he should do with this knowledge. He still didn’t know how to pass through and no matter how much he thought, he couldn’t think of a way.
Ying Zhen moistened his lips. He wasn’t accustomed to having to ask others for help. Especially not in such a case where it concerned his own emotions. How long had it been since he did something like that? He couldn’t even remember but an imagine crossed his mind unasked. Ying Zhen forcefully pushed it away. No, he certainly didn’t want to remember that person.
The remorse he felt over Wu Rong’s death and the death of their other comrades couldn’t be compared to the one he felt in regards to that person. It made him feel that there was an insurmountable obstacle in front of him that would only get higher the longer he tried to pass it. That thought made him worry even more.
He cleared his throat and turned back to the woman of the underworld. "Laryana … I understand that I won’t be able to bypass the soul path. But what should I do now? I am alive. I came here to rescue the souls of my fallen comrades. The reason is, of course, because I regret their death and also regret that I couldn’t help them. That is why I am here: I am trying to help them, to rescue their souls and bring them back so that our people may survive. So how am I supposed to let go of that? Will I just always see this battleground, unable to continue further on this journey and finally have to turn back when the seven days have passed?"
Laryana averted her gaze and instead examined the now vacant plain surrounding them. As a part of the underworld, she couldn’t explore her own soul path and she had never seen how one of the souls followed theirs. Everything she knew was what Heidan had told her. "You regret. Even if you started to do something against it, you will still regret. Your comrades just came here, it can’t have been long since you lost them. Of course, your soul is suffering. Even if you decide to go, you still haven’t overcome what happened. As long as that is the case, you will indeed always return to this place. You need to learn to … accept. Not forget but accept."
"Accept?" Ying Zhen looked around just like Laryana. Instead of the empty plain, he thought to see the scenes of the battle and the two illusions again. How could he accept those?
Laryana smiled at his serious facial expression. "Don’t worry. The soul path was created to help with letting go. Be unconcerned. Just go. You will manage to overcome this soon enough. I am sure of it."
Ying Zhen nodded. What else could he do? He just picked up his weapon quietly and continued on his path. They both knew that he would soon appear in the same spot again so Laryana stayed where she was, watching him leave.
On the other hand, Ying Zhen fought his way through the battle with the gods once again. Having gone through this twice already, he had learned from his errors: Neither did he fight with every god he could reach, nor did he try to evade every battle. Instead, he hurried along the battlefield, paused if a god approached, and rushed forth as soon as he had defeated his opponent.
He reached the heart of the battlefield slower than the last time but he had been injured much less as well. Even though he knew that the outcome of this battle wouldn’t change reality, his heart still thumped heavily, and the thought that maybe he could save Wu Rong this time echoed in his mind.
Ying Zhen ducked below a strike and stabbed the god with the spear who had hit him the last time. Then, he ran further. "Wu Rong!"
A spell hit the ground next to him and drowned out his voice. The spell that would cost Wu Rong his life dashed toward him already. "Wu Rong!"
His comrade lifted his head.
"Behind —"
Wu Rong parried the strike of the god before him and looked back. The spell hit.
Ying Zhen stopped, drove his weapon into the ground, and clasped his hands over his face. "This can’t be happening!" He shook his head, unwilling to believe it. The battle around him fell silent. He didn’t need to lift his head to know that it had vanished once again.
Laryana came over and extended her hand but before she touched him, she let it drop again. She felt like she had no words to tell him. Heidan had been long gone and she had still hoped that he would come back to the underworld and things would return to how they had once been. With all that time having passed, she should have made her peace with the situation long ago. But she hadn’t. How could she expect him to be able to accept something that hadn’t happened even a week ago?
Ying Zhen dropped his hands and turned to Laryana. Silence engulfed them and he struggled, wondering if he should break it or not. In the end, he still went ahead. "Is it easier in the underworld?"
"Easier?"
Ying Zhen nodded and looked back to where the cliffs stood tall, still barely visible in the distance. "Whoever enters is dead already so they can’t die."
Laryana followed his gaze and observed the water of the Alessian that fell down the cliff. The droning of the waterfall couldn’t be heard at this distance anymore. Only their own breath broke the silence. She didn’t know what to say. What was death? What was life? Right now, she didn’t know anymore. "That which cannot die … has it ever lived?" The thought suddenly assaulted her and she couldn’t help but touch her own chest. Could she … die? She only knew that Heidan had created her but she didn’t know how. There were many things she didn’t know. Her own fate was merely one of a long row of things.
Ying Zhen smiled, feeling that this question was superfluous. Was there anything that couldn’t die? "The demons are said to be immortal. But the strike of a blade, a single spell … one of them is enough to end their lives." He sighed, pulled his sword out of the ground, and sheathed it. "This battle … it cost too much, maybe it will cost the lives of all the demon tribes, a whole race extinguished just like that. Even they can die just like the high god Heidan could be killed. I don’t think there is anything in this world that cannot die. That is fate." Ying Zhen motioned to the front. "Let’s go. There is no point in standing here and waiting."
This time, Laryana followed him as if she could find some answers for herself if she did. "You tried to save one of them."
"Mn. Wu Rong. One of the best fighters of our people. If he came back, their chances at survival would be better."
"So he is important to the demons?"
Ying Zhen nodded wordlessly. He knew that a single person or even a handful of demons being brought back couldn’t change everything but it was a start. It might give them enough time to regain some strength and then confront the gods again. Or maybe they would leave their original kingdoms and go into hiding somewhere else. There were options as long as there were at least a few strong people among them ready to defend their people. That was why he needed to get their souls back.
"And to you?"
Ying Zhen turned to Laryana, startled at that question. He didn’t answer. What should he reply? Wu Rong … he had known him better than most of the others that had fought alongside him. But however long Ying Zhen thought about it, he couldn’t quite answer Laryana’s question.
This man who had fallen for their people … he knew him, he regarded him as a comrade. But if he was completely honest with himself, he wouldn’t go so far as to call him a friend. If he applied the word loosely enough, then maybe he could but deep down there was another image that surfaced if he thought of that word.
Just like the last time, Ying Zhen pushed it away. Seeing this face a second time distressed him. He regretted Wu Rong’s death because of his people and he had had to witness it three times already on his soul path.
Thinking of that, he couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if his soul path presented to him what he regretted for his own sake. He might indeed be caught in an eternal loop. If there was still a chance to accept Wu Rong’s death, then he could see none where that person was concerned. And then all of this wouldn’t have been worth it.
Laryana observed the changes in his face but didn’t ask further. Ying Zhen hadn’t even been in the underworld for a whole day. She didn’t know much about the world outside and she didn’t know anything about him either so she couldn’t help. It would have been foolish to even try. He would have to figure out the answers for himself.
Ying Zhen finally sighed and motioned forward. "Let’s say that currently, my worry for my people is bigger than my worry for myself." With that, he went on his path again and Laryana followed.
In this way, the two of them made their way through the plain once again. The path seemed longer as if they really covered ground on Ying Zhen’s soul path, getting closer to the end of this stretch that bound him to life. And as if they neared the gates of the underworld, the ground beneath their feet slowly slumped down.
Just when Ying Zhen wanted to ask what these changes were about, vague shadows surfaced at the horizon once again. Ying Zhen sighed and unsheathed his sword, prepared to set foot on the battlefield once again and face the same fight as before. Maybe this time, he would be able to overcome it.
They continued on their way and reached the illusion, but this time, it wasn’t the battlefield that lay before them. This time, they stood in front of an estate with blood dripping from the threshold.
