Chapter 151: The Foolish Moth
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Book 3 Part 1 Interlude


      Natalya listened. To stop listening and learning instead boxing one’s ears was one of the most foolish things someone could do. Of course, she couldn’t stop her heart burning, aching, and yet feeling relieved. Indeed, it has been too long, and yet at the same time it gladdened him.

“Are you okay?”

Mavin said with visible concern. Natalya could guess from that face of his that he did not wear his mask. Despite the time that had passed before them, they only aged a little. Natalya was pleased, inwardly happy that her husband stayed young despite the years.

“I am. It just feels strange that I could talk to you...despite all the years.”

Mavin looked down. “You’ve done well. I am thankful that you are willing to hear me out.”

Natalya took his hand and held it tightly. “It might mean nothing to you, but I did tell you that you belong to me alone. It took time, but I can wait, if I can somehow survive through the harshest nightmares, spend time watching you pass away in front of me again and again. I can do it again.”

“That’s too much,” Mavin said. “You did well. Despite me not being around.”

“No one can dictate what my heart wants. Not even you, Mavin. Are you unsettled? Suspicious that I have not lashed out? Or do you want to know the depths of my heart?”

“Tell me then.”

“I want to chain you down and rip away your limbs.”

Mavin’s expression continued to be passive. He listened in with his right hand holding on to hers.

“I hate it when you go away. I hate it when you go somewhere and leave me alone. Don’t you know? You may not remember it, but I still do. I take my oaths seriously, and it may mean nothing to you, but it does. When I saw you standing here as if you were a clueless fool made me want to immediately rip your limbs apart and keep you safe. Still, I am not stupid, I know what you can do, and what you have done. I should have solved it myself, but if you have black iron, then my attacks would be useless. And why would I do something that would make you loathe me? Mavin, husband, why would I do that? I just want you around, to help me, to comfort me, I own you, and you should stay near. You owe me this”

Mavin listened. She kind of hated how tame he was. Then again, he was the deadbeat husband who left his wife to die, said nothing, and had burdened him with all kinds of burdens after his ‘death’. Nataly thought of using this to keep him chained, and kept him around.

“I do owe you this. Truthfully, I do not know how to start. Look, I don’t know how to make it up. I’m just emptied out, and tired. Damn Aunger, he took out all of the things that I was supposed to do.”

“I see. We did not agree much, but he was a loyal soldier of Lazon, and I doubt many events in the civil war would have gone well if it wasn’t for him.”

Mavin looked at her with an inquisitive look. Nataly thought she could drown on those eyes for a moment, but blinked away her thoughts.

“He kept me a secret. I’m sorry, but he was the only one who I trusted.”

“I understand. It’s not like you didn’t show me once or twice how you didn’t truly trust me back,” she chuckled. “Even now, I can feel that you are just here because of the guilt. Bothered that the woman who you had left so many burdens not angry at you? Oh please, if I had learned something from the years that had gone by. I do admit, husband. I feel angry inwardly. There is a sinfully big part of me that wants to scream, pull on you, and plunge my fist on you for leaving me alone. I told you to not leave me. I told you that. You made me walk for years without light, relying on embers in this world.

“But you know what? Despite that, I was able to go on, live my life as it was meant to be as long as Elia and Elna were around. They were my precious students, my pupils, and I couldn’t leave them when they had no one other than me. I have to guide them, make sure that they can live on. Odd isn’t it? I only dreamt of flying planes, and roam the world once. Who knew that one day, I would be such a responsible person.”

Mavin stared at the skylight. Natalya followed his gaze and noticed that the sun’s light was slowly dimming. How long had they talked it out? Then, Natalya recalled that she was here to take Wendy away from him.

“Ah, about Wendy, can you hand her over? Her family’s worried about her.”

Natalya found it lovely how unsettled he was at her casual tone. She found out that people are more bothered about the lack of passion in one’s voice, and irritates them. Perhaps, he was more confused than irritated. She could use this, Natalya thought while still holding on tightly to his hand.

“That’s right, I should inform them what happened here.”

Mavin took out this piece of radio that was rather compact compared to theirs. Natalya studied the radio, it reminded of the blueprints that she had seen, but was unable to truly construct it without any hints of it. It was far complex, and there are technologies within it that were inaccessible to the current year.

“Wolf, it’s a long one, so sit down, but it’s clear. It looks like the person that was chasing us, seems to be someone I know.”

Mavin pocketed his two-way radio and tried to stand up. But Natalya stopped him, making him sit down obediently. She wondered how long he would stay obedient, thinking to herself how she could capitalize on this.

It didn’t take long for people to arrive at the entrance. Wendy’s eyes widened at the sight of Natalya, but her eyes were immediately attracted to the right hand holding on tightly. Yes, her wise godmother, acting like this seems to have been quite a shock to her. Her eyes couldn’t leave her.

“Lady?”

“Oh, Wendy, it’s good that you are alive, my sweet,” Natalya pried her hand away from Mavin and held Wendy tightly before placing her hands on her shoulder. “ feared for your safety, and was going to bring down the hammer of god upon those who hurt you, but it seems that you have been well-cared off. And what is this, I had expected that you would be in Withamia, Gaul.”

“Milady, I didn’t expect you to be the one chasing us. My father had told me about you.”

“Hmm, how is your sister? Ah, if she is part of this as well? Considering that you are both Aunger’s children.”

Gaul nodded. Mavin studied Gaul’s expression before turning his eyes to Wendy who eyed Mavin as if wondering if he had done something to Natalya. Seeing this pleasing sight, Natalya said.

“It seems that you have quite the luck, to be rescued by my husband, Wendy. No, perhaps, I should thank you for getting my husband back?”

“H-husband? But isn’t Sir Mavin…”

“I am Mavin Tomas, Miss Wendy. It shouldn't surprise you that I am rather young.”

Wendy stared at Mavin for a moment before turning to her. Natalya dutifully explained the situation, and for a moment the expression on her was filled with confusion and awe. Mavin remained impassive however, still confused, lost, and wondering about this situation. Perhaps, he was wondering whether this should have been more troublesome. Perhaps, if it wasn’t him who was standing in this hall, she would have done more than talk it out. She wasn’t that saintly either, and although there are grievances in her heart, it outweighed the fact that he was alive. How could she dare destroy what she had missed immediately?

Perhaps, she had gone soft because of her age. Then again, she was keeping the malicious feelings inside, bottling them, keeping them steady, hoping that it would be enough to keep him around. Truthfully, she was afraid that this was all a mean illusion. That her mind was conjuring such a beautiful dream to make her lower her guard down. She had already checked twice if she was under a spell, but with the black iron that she wore and the sword he had. Even if it was a dream, she wished it would last until she could drink in this happiness. Nonetheless, the dream did not go away, and he stood before her, though lost on what to do, was still around for her to indulge herself in.

With Wendy safe, and everyone acquainted. Natalya called her service, and implored that they follow her to the hotel she was staying where they could take a rest. She had informed her worried subordinates of the situation, and had Gaul, Wendy, and taken care of while she had dragged Mavin to the penthouse, and took a seat on the balcony where a table was prepared for them.

He twisted across the table, while she settled down. She had removed the mask that she wore, and rested her back on the chair as she watched the city of Flost alongside him.

“So...what are your plans?”

“Huh?”

She smiled dutifully, “I...as much as I love to keep you chained and close...I understand that you do not need me.  Fifty-seven years, it’s a long time to think. Think of what I want, and decide on what I want. In those years, you weren’t there for me, but my oaths and promises allowed me to keep on moving. I told you of my nightmares a long time ago, and in truth this is nothing compared to what I had experienced, and had done.”

“I don’t really understand. And I never did blame you for things I did not experience myself. What I feel, nothing more than shame and guilt. For what I had burdened you, and for the things I couldn’t protect. I could be lying to you, about why I wasn’t around...and it bothers me that you hear me out so easily.”

“We...aren’t children. I see no reason to hit you. And experience has taught me to listen first. And it's because it is you that I listen.”

Mavin locked his eyes to her. “Do you remember what I said back then? That despite the marriage that the Emperor held us together, I would still honor you despite it?”

“I do.”

“I am still willing to honor it. But as you can see, it’s not like I have the right to say this.”

Natalya narrowed her eyes. “Is this guilt? For leaving Lazon alone? Letting it suffer? Because if it is, then take that away, and don’t bother me with it.”

“It’s not. I am asking you if you want me to honor it. No, there is part of it that's because of my inability to care for Lazon that I am saying this.”

“Mavin Tomas, if you had said you wanted to do it because you are compelled to, then I would have acted the fool and let myself be fooled, be drowned by that sweetness. At least, you are honest, I hate it truthfully, this honesty. Still, yes, if this allows me to keep you then let’s go with it.”

“I don’t know if you're forgiving or if you have plans for me,” he stood up, and went down on one knee next to her. ”But if you allow me, then let me do so.”

Natalya held her hand for a moment. She looked at that extended hand and thought for a second before placing her hand on his.

“What I want is not to rule over you. If I had wanted that, I would have married again and taken in some fool who could do the part, but that’s not what I want. Not all. I want a partner, and well,” she smiled sweetly as she could. “If I had one that could live as long as me, then perhaps I don’t mind living on. Still, do you want this? Fifty-seven years, you owe me that much, Mavin Tomas.”

“If you would allow me to make it up, then please let me do it, partner.”

“Very well,” Natalya gripped his hand tightly and pulled him up. “Now, can you join me? I would like to continue and perhaps…” her eyes traveled on the bed for a second. “Comfort one another with tales?”

Mavin nodded, and joined her, this time as equal. Though there are doubts and worries that Natalya had. She was simply indulging herself. Perhaps, this was a dream, and that she needed someone to share the burden of tomorrow. Better women would have more pride than this, to throw away someone, but she found out that despite losing it for years, the light that she had warmth herself was still addicting to her.

She was a moth to a flame. She hated herself for it, and yet she couldn’t look away, hoping that her light and warmth would keep her going.

The world wasn’t still. And perhaps, this was her reward for her patience.


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Thank you for those who are reading this far!
I'll be taking a short break after this chapter.
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