Chapter 10 **No Heart**
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“…Wh…What…”

Xander saw the speechless Derek and found himself relieved that this burden was now in the open.

“…You sold your body?”

Xander saw him take a step back, assuming it was because he might catch some type of disease…But seeing this didn’t make Xander feel better, if anything, it made him feel worse. Not only that, but it was clear that Derek had misunderstood him.

Xander could only defend himself, already wanting to enlighten Derek, “I was clear of disease when you…Bought me.”

Seeing Derek frown, Xander sighed in his heart. At first, he had thought it was a good idea to tell this side of himself to Derek but now…Now he felt that it was probably not something he should have done…

Wouldn’t this be the very thing that even he would abandon me for?

That thought was like a knife stabbing into Xander’s heart and Xander lost all hope…

Go on…Do what everyone else does and abandon me…

 

“How many?”

Xander found Derek had already clothing himself and simply replied with, “It could be as many as six a night…”

“Six! You slept with six a night!?”

Xander nodded, turned and stopped the water from continuing to go into the bathtub. He no longer felt like it was necessary to bathe…Nothing felt necessary right now…

If he’s going to throw me out…

The sound of a door slamming entered Xander’s ears and made him jump.

Closing his eyes tight and letting himself fall to the ground, Xander could not help but let out tears…

His greatest fear was abandonment…And the fact that Derek had already abandoned him once before, Xander couldn’t help but think it’ll only happen again…It was just a matter of time.

 

Just to get Derek further away, to push him away, I spoke of this!

Xander wished that he could just accept his fate, accept that there was probably no one there that wouldn’t abandon him but…

It was just too scary.

Why…Why had he stated what he has been doing for three years!?

He remembered, remembered that he shouldn’t get close to Derek but…Now that it was out…

Such a fool!

 

Xander wasn’t even sure why he was calling himself a fool though. Isn’t this what he wanted?

But, now thinking about it, if he was truly abandoned by Derek, wouldn’t that mean even worse of a future?

Would he be sold to someone else?

Would he just be killed?

Would he be kicked out of here to be on his own, when Omega’s are deemed as forsaken?

There would be no one to help him then!

…Did he just anger the only person that would look after him?

 

It was so damned confusing!

His personal emotions were interfering on a prospect of being able to survive!

He hated that Derek was using him, hated that Derek was still assuming himself as a murderer but so what…Wasn’t Derek just a customer!? Why…Why had he let his personal feelings show!

Now…Now that he was pushing Derek away out of anger, he has probably…Brought death upon himself!

For quite some time, Xander didn’t have any kind of strength to get off the floor. He was already counting down the time that he would probably be kicked out or…

Wiping at his tears and shaking his head in a complete loss to this situation, Xander felt hopeless…

Perhaps this may have also been a reason that he let Derek take him the night before…One last night…A night of being with the man that invaded his dreams…As…It was probably the last time…

 

***

 

Derek walked around with heavy legs and a heavy heart.

Three years! Three years he sold his body!

Remembering Xander’s sexy moves in bed, Derek could believe it!

Dammit! Was this the reason he was worried about questioning his past?

Just the thought of Xander, using his body and showing his moves…Being taken…Made Derek extremely angry.

He felt like he was inconsolable, he felt…Rage!

Never, never had he ever been so angry and upset!

Three years of being with someone else…Not just one somebody else, but many!

Was…Was this the reason why Xander probably never thought of him? He was just so busy fucking everyone else but him!

 

If the Omega was such a slut, why had he made him wait and practically beg to be with him intimately!?

Dammit!

Derek was angry now at himself for falling for such an act!

Yet…Just the idea of taking Xander by force seemed inappropriate.

They had been best of friends and he…

Why!? Why is it that the one he yells at is me? Why is it that the one he keeps away from is me!?

“Master, your stepmother had wanted to introduce you again to Beta Shepard’s twenty-five-year-old daughter.” Scott said, and Derek took this interruption gladly! Even if it was about something that was annoying!

 

“Mmm, what’s her name?”

“Cherelle, I believe. Master?”

Derek thought for a moment and smirked, “She’s a brat, I’m not in the least bit interested!”

No, I…Only want one…

“I see that…What Xander holds with you is of no comparison.”

Derek frowned at Scott and looked away.

“Master, I watched you grow up with Xander, that boy…You have always liked him, perhaps even loved…”

“Hey, hold it…Go…Go and…”

Scott interrupted Derek, “I will check on your lover, Master.”

Before Derek could hit his subordinate, Scott hurried away, smiling for his Alpha.

But the smile did not last very long…

 

 

Derek walked into his father’s study, having a question that seems to have distracted him since Scott stated something so plainly…

“My boy, what brings you here?”

Derek sat down and got straight to the point, “How many sexual partners have you had father?”

Seeing his father raise his eyebrows, Derek looked away, a bit embarrassed.

“…Why are you asking?”

Derek fiddled with the armchair and put a hand through his hair, “Just…Wondering…”

“Are you finally ready to have a sexual partner, my boy? I’m sure there’s plenty that would love to go to bed with you!”

His father’s words made Derek frown and stand up, “I’ve already had sex! So, are you going to answer my question or not!?”

Derek hates when his father dances around the issue like this!

 

When it comes to important matters, his father goes straight to the point but anything he doesn’t want to answer, he dances around and seems happy if he never answers!

Hearing a knock on the door halted their conversation and Derek sighed, “Don’t worry about it!”

Opening the door, he saw that it was Scott.

Seeing his face, Derek didn’t know why, but a pain seemed to take hold of his body and he didn’t know what it meant…

“Master…”

“Scott are you looking for me?”

Scott hurriedly tried to be polite, “No, Alpha Norman, I was looking for Master Derek.”

“Bye Father!” Derek rushed their retreat and started walking towards his late mother’s quarters.

 

When he felt like no one was looking, Derek turned his head to Scott, “What is it? Was he found by someone?”

Scott shook his head hurriedly and opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

Stopping, Derek yelled, “Speak!”

Scott bowed his head, “Xander tried to suicide…”

…Suicide…What…He tried to…What?

Derek stood there in a daze.

“Master, he needs attention! Now!”

Scott’s plea made Derek move, even though he could hardly think things through right now.

 

Rushing towards the inner room, Derek found a pale Xander laying on the bed.

“I rushed to dry him and patch him up as best as I could but…”

Dry, patch…Right, right…I

Walking up to the frail looking body on the bed, Derek was unsure of what to do.

Never did he think that Xander would do such a thing…

Picking up the closest wrist beside him, Derek took in a sharp intake of breath and immediately knew how Xander tried to suicide.

 

There was a tight bandage on the wrist, with slight blood showing through the fabric and Derek placed the hand back down like it suddenly turned too hot for him to handle…

“How are we to get a doctor to look at him, Master?”

Derek sat on the bed and swallowed…

Looking over Xander and his pale skin, Derek had the sudden want to run away…

He didn’t want this to be real, he wanted to wake up and find that Xander was still fine but…His pale skin and bandaged wrists made him feel like vomiting!

Finally, the dire situation caught up to him and Derek started to heavily breath, “Scott, Scott, what do I do!? How do I save him!?”

 

“We can’t bring him out, unless you can get another Drop of Odour. And bringing a doctor here…Your father will probably find out...”

Derek rapidly tried to think about what to do…Yet, either way…Wouldn’t his father find out?

Even if he got another Drop of Odour, how could he do this in the least suspicious way?

Getting up and pacing the room, Derek again silently asked Xander, why?

Why had he done this!?

Was it really that hard to live here, in the place of the person that he had murdered?

Or was it…

 

Derek stopped and looked at the very still person on the bed.

Being unable to sit still at the moment, he got up and started to pace.

Did he not want to be around me?

“Dammit!”

Derek slammed his fist into the closest wall and didn’t even care that his late mother’s own inner quarters now had a hole in it.

“Master? What do we do?”

Pulling back his hand, Derek felt utterly defeated. He felt cold…

Turning slowly towards Scott, Derek whispered, “Leave him.”

Scott came closer and was scared, “What did you say, Master?”

Derek looked back at Xander, feeling like he was played. Played to such an enormous degree that he even wanted to mock himself!

“I said to leave him.”

 

Scott widened his eyes and quickly looked at Xander and back to his scary master, “Leave him? Master?”

Taking a shaky breath in, Derek said, “Doesn’t he want to die? This will be his only chance! If he lives…He will never dare to do this to me again!”

With that, Derek turned to walk out.

Just before he left though, he clearly stated to Scott, “Watch over him. Under no circumstance are you to leave his side unless you are getting food or…Needing the bathroom!”

Scott watched his Alpha leave and turned back to Xander, “Xander…As much as I want you to live so that my master can love you…I’m afraid he will torture you instead…”

 

***

 

Four days went by and most of those days Derek had sneaked into see Xander.

Beyond his own bitter judgement, he was unable to help himself from making sure that a certain heart was still beating, that…He wouldn’t leave!

His mother had already gone, his friendship was…Still on the mend, still something…Perhaps he had placed the friendship he had with Xander as a very special asset as he…Didn’t want to let it go…

Scott did not say anything, giving them space but it was plain to see how terrified his master was.

Giving Scott the Drops of Odour, Scott knew that Derek did not wish for Xander’s death. In fact, Derek had looked into doctors but a lot of them were too clean, or too dirty, to use for this predicament.

 

On the other hand, Derek’s father seemed to see that something was going on with his son.

Seeing his son being so anxious, Norman was curious.

Normally, he wouldn’t care so much about things but if his son was to keep this up, he would have to interfere anyway. It was best to try and find out what was going on now, before it might be too late.

Noticing that Derek was going into his late wife’s quarters in the residence a lot, Norman frowned.

What could be making his son anxious in there?

Having not ventured into that part of the residence, because he had no need to before, Norman walked in one day…Only to find nothing out of sorts in the yard.

 

Looking around, Norman frowned and continued to investigate inside, only to find that the bed in there was being used.

The bathroom was being used, but…The only strange thing was a hole in the wall.

He didn’t know how long Derek had been using the bed, but it could have been a while for all he knew…

The hole, could that be the reason why Derek was so anxious?

Had someone come here to punch a hole in the wall and now he was mad?

Shaking his head, thinking his son to being absurd, Norman left and continued on with what he was doing before searching his late wife’s quarters.

Whatever it was…He’ll just keep an eye on him for now. But…If he gets worse, he was going to step in and wake his son up from being so temperamental!

Shaking his head, Norman felt like it had been years since Derek had been like this. It had been when Xander was here last…And just thinking of that name made him make an angry look!

 

Norman went as far as even killing his own wife, just to get rid of that Omega!

Remembering his late wife, Norman scoffed.

He should have come up with that idea sooner, to use her death to kick out a low life!

She already had been pretty useless for years, not that it mattered. He had slept around long before she finally died but still could not produce another child.

Upon finally thinking he could be with another, seeing Polly as someone he could live with and one that he could tolerate better, was the only reason he thought of using his wife’s death as an advantage.

Well, as far as he was aware, that certain Omega was dead, and he was in the process of finding out more about another certain new drug.

 

Norman might not be in charge of certain operations, when it came to hidden Omega’s, but he did know about how to go about obtaining information.

Since he felt like he wanted more power, he had come to the knowledge of a certain new drug that seemed to give females ‘heat’, like that of an Omega…The problem was, it was still being made, not yet finished.

Smirking, Norman wondered if it would be like his first time.

Having the ‘privilege’ of being with an Omega on heat, happened a very long time ago. He had only been fifteen back then…

 

Not being able to control himself, as he had been young, he’d taken the Omega while on ‘heat’ and still remembered how it felt to this day.

He hated Omega’s yes, but the idea of this new drug was for other females, which only excited him!

This new drug could not only help himself, but that of his son as well.

If the drug works, putting the females on heat, he’ll place his son in a room with a female on this drug and he’d try it out on Polly.

 

If the ‘heat’ drug works, which should result in producing children, then he wondered if one of the two children would be an Alpha. If not…He would just do as he did with the child that he had produced when he had been fifteen…He would kill it!

…It was a long-term strategy, as he wanted a family full of Alpha’s and this certain drug might get him exactly what he wants!

He had been a runaway royal for too long! If he gets more power, he could take back what was once his, then…Then he could make sure that his child or grandchild does whatever he asks of them!

If this drug works, he’ll take control over it! He’ll stop anyone else from using it and use it for himself!

All he had to do was wait for it to be made…

 

 

Luckily, Scott had seen the father coming, only to make precautions of hiding Xander straight away.

Taking Xander out another door and carrying him around another side of that area, to peek in to see what the father was doing, Scott could only wait until the father had gone before he could place Xander back onto the bed.

Sighing in relief, Scott saw that this quick trip had not hindered Xander.

No, he was no doctor, but he felt like Xander had gotten slightly better.

He looked so sickly for the first three days but now, now he felt like Xander will make it.

Already, Scott had taken away many objects that could bring harm to Xander again, as…He was also at fault.

Watching Xander had been his job and having found him with so much blood around him had made Scott panic like he’s never panicked before!

 

But it seemed that Xander was either saved in time or just wanted to live too much, as he woke up just before lunch on this fourth day.

Scott watched Xander from a window and sighed in relief.

Moving to the bathroom window, making sure that Xander doesn’t repeat his last action, Scott was keeping a very close eye on him!

Xander finished emptying his bowels and stood dazedly in front of the big bronze mirror. “Can’t live…Can’t die…What kind of place is this?”

Splashing some water over his pale face, Xander felt weak and knew that he should eat something.

Seeing a big bowl by the bed and what looked like medicinal things to the side, Xander didn’t want to think why it was there.

“Xander…If you promise…No…I can’t trust you!”

Turning, to the see someone come through a window, Xander took a shaky step back.

Scott got a rope that he wished he didn’t have to use and looked up at Xander, “I will get you some porridge.”

 

Talking another step back, Xander sat on the bed, “I’ve now become a contained, chained prisoner?”

“I’m sorry but Derek won’t be able to handle it if you try to kill yourself again!”

Walking up to Xander, Scott took his hands and started to tie him to the bed.

“What is it to him whether I live or die?” Xander spat out.

He had lived enough of his life like this!

“Good question!”

Derek was so relieved to see Xander walking and talking, that he only spoke now.

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