Chapter 14 – Breakfast and First Major F*ck Up
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I woke up much later than Elfin.

- Master, wake up. We will miss breakfast.

I opened one eye slightly. The sun was still low, but nevertheless very blinding. Damn you, glutton!

- Just five more minutes..

I closed the eye again.

- Masterrrr..

Ehh, I was already awake.

- I cannot wake up. I have been cursed by a wicked half-demon and will only wake up with a kiss – I muttered.

I felt something wet on my cheek. I opened my eyes to find my slave smooching me. I patted her on the head.

- Good morning to you, too.

- Good morning, master.

As if nothing embarrassing had happened we dressed quickly and went downstairs. In the main hall we found ourselves an unoccupied table. I waived at the waitress. I reminded the barmaid to make Elfin’s meal on the light side.

Our food arrived shortly. It was good.

She got an oatmeal on milk with a large blob of honey.

My meal consisted of sausage, cabbage, bread, butter and one fried egg.

- So yummy.

- Do not talk with your mouth full.

I quickly ate mine, it was that good. I have noticed she also hurried her eating.

- No need to hurry, savor the meal, my Elfin.

- Mhhm, mashter.

I picked up my journal and started noting what we would need to buy and do today.

1) Something to keep the room warm at night, but without oxygen consumption;

After all I did not know a thing about what is necessary to ventilate room properly and direct flame usage. I just knew carbon monoxide poisoning is a really nasty, but peaceful way to die.

2) Clothes to wear including nightwear for my half-elf;

3) Armor for half-elf;

4) Weaponry (what kind?) for half-elf;

I wonder what kind would suit her. Her status did not show any cold weaponry skills. She caught my stare and smiled with her cheeks and mouth full. I smiled back.

5) Definitely need to read more about healing and fire magic. Maybe bring books for her to study?

6) Register at the Adventurer’s Guild;

Yeah, that would be it.

- The bed certainly was hard and cold, wasn’t it, Elfin?

- It was quite soft, Lynx. The best bed I have slept in.

- I guess I am simply accustomed to better conditions of living.

- Is mister a high-born noble? Those beds are quite expensive on their own, you know.

That voice did not belong to my cute half-elf. I turned around. The proprietress was standing right behind me.

Awkward.

- Forgive me, milady. I did not mean to complain.

- If you want a better bed, you can only look for it in a noble mansion. You could order it as well, but I doubt you could afford it the way you wear yourself.

Yikes, thanks for your confidence. I have access to Heaven’s Treasury, you know. Even if I look like a poor adventurer. If I went for it I could steal all the gold on Thrope.

Huh? If I do such stuff, would I be classified as an evil god? It would be prudent to check what makes a god fall and become an evil god. Miss Heaven’s Librarian!

(..) an Evil God is a god that defies the Heavens of Thrope. Precise definition is as follows: A god who enters or exists in the given world, but has not pledged subservience to the local World Owner (God of the Throne). Usually the term is loosely associated with Demon Lords. (..)

Impossible. There are no morals left in Heavens. You can be as evil as an actual Demon Lord, slaughter your own people, commit all the sins and it would be „A-okay!”? Though judging by the state of current Heavens.. no I can’t judge angels as a newcomer. Everything may look nice on the surface, but those beings along with Old God and his avant-garde might have already committed atrocities.

Still. Heavens were built on older Heavens. Who knows what ugly truths may be hidden there. Especially if the morality of Heavens evolved from that stated in this old book to what I saw the previous month. I’m pretty sure every owner of the Throne dictated their own rules and morals. Are mine own senses of what is good and what is wrong correct? Are they perfect? Most probably not. I guess relying on simple down-to-nature laws like strength and power dictating the ethics might be common among eras and different worlds governed by such Throne god systems.

That again reminded me of the enormous pressure loaded upon me. If there is a problem with my ethics, with my ruling, entire world would be fucked. Duh, I’m a god! Gotta remind myself of that every now and then.

I was listening to the cicadas for a while, deep in my own thoughts. Then I had two realizations.

One.

Cicadas are pretty resilient to survive in such bricked and paved city.

Two.

If I ever return to Earth I would be considered an Evil God. That’s probably why Old God Talakhe was so reluctant to speak about that topic. Moreover if I went back and pledged allegiance to Earth’s God.. that would probably be disastrous to Thrope and its inhabitants. Certainly that AILF[1] of an Archie wouldn’t want to serve some otherworld’s god.

- Anyway, Is the meal satisfactory at least?

Miss inn proprietress crashed abruptly my wild train of thoughts.

- Yes. Yes it is. – I muttered quickly – I mean, look at my little slave’s smile. Very good I dare to say!

- You do care about your property like that.

- I would appreciate if you did not call her ‘like that’.

- Poor sods like you are rare these days. Especially if you are an impoverished noble.

She sat across me, right next to the half-elf. In fact she motioned her to move a little to the side so she could sit as close to me as possible.

- I am no noble, good lady. Just a simple adventurer.

- If you say so.

- Master, but yesterday we went..

- Seriously, shut up. I know what are you concerned with. It was okay since no one really saw us. Unless you go babbling about our trip to everyone we meet, then there will be no trouble. If you still worry, consider that we can skip town at any moment.

- Yesh. We can teleport away.

- Teleport? – inquired the lady.

Great. She need to work harder on keeping secrets.

- You know, use a scroll or something.

- The city is shielded from teleportation.

- Oh.

She started petting my little elf. That is my petting elf, lady!

- Don’t worry, little one. Whatever you did it was your master’s fault in the eye of law.

..and now she stole my favorite pet name!

- Elfin, you can avoid those grabby hands. You are allowed to and need to defend yourself as your master’s property.

Damn. I am jealous. Buy yourself your own slave, lady.

- Are you jealous? He he – she giggled.

Damn right, I am. Have I not just thought so?

At this point Elfin squirmed away from her hands. Then she went on my side of the table and cuddled up to me.

Innkeeper lost her lecherous smile from her lecherous face.

Damn, what a beautiful start of the day.

- What I really visited your table for are those little things.

She put the bronze coins I paid her with yesterday.

- You paid me those yesterday, right?

- Yeah, those very coins.

- Where did you get those?

- In a ruin near my home.

Having an answer ready for such an obvious question is a must for an isekais protagonist!

- You realize they are worth a pretty monie?

- Yeah, exactly 182 monies. No wait, what do you mean.. could they..

I knew I fucked up. All I had to do was wait for her to confirm my thoughts.

- Look at the dates on those. Their state is almost perfect, so I suspected falsification. Nevertheless my cousin’s level 2 Identify and Appraisal confirms they really came from even before the Tilankan dynasty.

I really fucked up.

- They are antiques, then?

- Precisely.

- Worth a lot?

- Yes.

Fuck. I had so many of those and spent so much yesterday.

- What date at maximum would make a coin worth more than its precious metals content?

- I am no expert, but I would say a hundred years at least.

Oh myself. My treasury is basically an auction house worth of antiques in just the coins of Velia. My face became sulky.

- I want to return those to you. It is too much for two nights worth. You are a cute pair.

- You want to return them? They are certainly worth a small fortune.

- It would not feel right to take them. That would be against Church teachings.

- That is quite honest of you.

I grabbed the coins.

- I guess we will sell them, then. Right, but I still need to reimburse you for it.

I reached out to my fake purse and pulled a small gold. Unfortunately it also had a semi-ancient minting date, but I would hate for her good deed to go unpunished. Sorry I meant unrewarded. I tried handing it to her with the date on the bottom, but..

- Do not do that, please. I did not do that for a reward. You do not really know for how much they would actually sell.

- Right.

It is not like I could force her to take it. Finally another nefarious scheme surfaced in my brain. I took back the coin and instead gave her a large silver I had from Marielle.

- I do not have any medium or large bronzes left so please give me some change.

While she fumbled to get change from her coin purse under her apron, I asked Elfin:

- Is it customary to tip the meal?

- Yes. If it was tasty.

- Did you find your meal pleasant to your palate, then?

- Yes, master.

- So, a tip would be appropriate then, right?

- Yes.

- Would you value your satisfaction at approximately one small gold?

At first she did not understand. I winked at her, she smiled and nodded.

I took the bronze and small silver change and handed the proprietress the original ancient gulden.

- Here, your tip.

- I cannot..

- It is just a customary rip. Besides I just might be a noble and Elfin might be a slave princess. Do you want to risk offending me?

- Noo..

Her face was visibly distressed.

- Then take it.

- But..

Now she copied my slave’s favorite saying. This woman.

I forcefully interrupted her lest she starts to call me master.

- Do you know who would buy those coins for a good price?

- Merchant guild would help you find the auction house or antique merchant probably.

- Thanks.

I stood up. It would be best to scram before she turned the coin to look at the date. Then I remembered that I needed to write another task.

7) Return the locket to the priestess and reward her;

I almost forgot about that one. Since the innkeeper lady was also kind to a pair of strangers I should also reward her. Money was not enough for that. Though I was not sure with what exactly to reward her with. A blessing? I checked out her status, but she was perfectly healthy. No healing then. For now I wrote that as another task in the journal.

8) Reward kindness of innkeeper;

0) Sell those damned coins;

The pair of ladies stared at me, but I wrote in one of the Earth’s languages so I was not afraid of them finding out anything.

- Okay, I am done now.

We said our goodbyes and left the inn.

- Where are we going today, master?

I patted her head and told her my plans, while omitting some details.

- Do you have anything to add to the list?

- No, master.

- It is okay to request items like a hairbrush or mirror or other necessities..

- Yes, master’s hair is messy. I could brush it.

My jaw dropped. My hand reached subconsciously to my head.

- I meant if you wanted to brush your own. They are also quite a mess.

- Oh.

- Oh, indeed.

I thought I should teleport the oldest coins I spent yesterday back to my purse. I would change them with equivalent “new” coinage of course. I am no thief. Though all of Thrope already belongs to me. It kind of takes fun out of earning wealth.

This might be petty, but if more people notice I had so much old coinage on me I might attract unnecessary attention to myself. I did not have enough to change every one of them.

I gave a few small and large silvers to Elfin and asked her to change it into a small gold and miscellaneous bronze pieces from the nearest vendor she could find. She ran off.

I was forced to notice that my “little” elf was about as high as I was. Her hunching before must have made her look smaller than she really was.

 


[1] Ancestor I’d Like to Fondle

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