CHAPTER 9:

THE WORLD IS A DANGEROUS PLACE, SO HOLE YOURSELF INSIDE WITH YOUR VIDEOGAMES AND NEVER COME OUT

*

The moment I obtained the new rune, the fight with the spider-gorilla thing became laughably easy. As you might've guessed, the rune allowed me to switch places with any of my knives. That, in combination with the fact that I could make them go anywhere I please, meant that I myself could do the same, as long as it was within 100 meters from my original location. It was basically instantaneous teleportation with an extra step.

However, convenient as it was, it would cost me quite an amount of magic power to use. In the last fight, because a part of me wanted to stress test the rune, and another to toy with the monster since it pissed me off (PETA shut up nobody likes you) so I went all out, being flashy and stuff, but honestly it tired me out and now my head hurts. I guess that's what happens when you run out of mana in this world, so I would need to manage my reserve so it wouldn't run out in the middle of a fight.

Anyway, after a short rest, I was fine and dandy again. It was crazy how quick this body recovered, but then again, this much might be normal still, since I haven't met anyone else in this world to compare myself with yet. After the rest, I decided to scout the ruined temple again, hoping that another exit would reveal itself. 

But nope, the whole place was a dead end. Depressed, I was starting to worry that I might be stuck here forever starving to death, when something struck my mind. The collapsed entrance to the cavern! Couldn't I just make my knife go to the other side and switch places with it?

And so swiftly I arrived at the site: The cave-in, filled with rock, so densely packed no light could pass through. Facing it, I took a deep breath and threw a knife, betting my chances. Afterall, if this also led to nowhere, then all my hopes would crumble.

I made the knife go straight, parallel to the ground, and periodically attempted to tell it to materialize. If it couldn't, then I would know it was still in the pile of rock. If it could, then I would then tell it to fly around till it touched something, in order to map out the dimensions of the opening and see if I could fit in it.

But after a while, the knife was still unable to physically manifest. By this point it had flown about 60 meters, and an opening had not been found. "Just how long is this cave-in? Did somebody seriously try to trap me in here by blowing up the whole damn cave or something?" I was getting impatient and desperate, like a mouse trapped in a maze by some asshole researcher where the exit has been blocked.

But then, a ray of hope arrived. At the 96-meter mark, the knife was able to return to its physical form - barely within operational range. Excited and relieved, I told it to map the opening, and made that out to be about 4 meters in height and 3 meters in width. As the urge to escape was at an all time high, I immediately teleported there.

The place I arrived at was dark and long, like a corridor. However, I could still see clearly, not only because of my excellent eyesight, but also because there was a light on the other side. Seeing the light gave me hope that it might be what I had been desperately looking for.

So I retrieved the knife which had switched places with me and ran towards the light, excited at the prospect of freedom from darkness. But as I moved, an uncomfortable feeling began to swell. Wait a minute. The long, dark corridor. The light at the end. This scene seems awfully familiar isn't it? It can't be that, right? Come on, this cliche is too old already. You can't be making me suffer through all that, just to then announce something like, "everything was all a dream, and you are in fact just dead, sorry." I'm seriously gonna punch you, you know that?

Fortunately, I didn't have to punch God. For as I came closer to the light, it began to fade, giving way to greenery - the silhouette of the outside world. At last, as I went past the cave's entrance, the smell of nature assured me that everything was real, and not in fact, a person's dying mind hallucinating.

So I trotted briskly forward, and took a good sniff of the air to calm myself down. "Ahh… this is finally it. The trees, the grass, the chill of a passing wind, the sounds of gossiping wildlife, the *BAAM!!!* ?!!"

Something had just dropped in front of me, inches from my face. I looked down, and saw half of a decapitated wolf head rolling next to my feet. I glanced up, and was met with the gazes of a thousand eyes. No, literally. A massive colony of monkeys infesting the trees was staring intensely at me. And something about them told me they weren't normal monkeys. Maybe it was their overly large eyes, kind of like an owl's, their long and thin limbs, their hairless bodies. Or maybe it was because each of them was holding a bloody, hairy piece of flesh the same color as the wolf's head and had blood all over their hands, bellies and mouths.

"...I am terribly sorry for interrupting your delightful meal. Please forgive me for my impoliteness, I hope I haven't ruined your taste." I instantly bowed and apologized with enough courtesy that would make any mom in the world proud. However, the monkeys showed no sign of appreciation, or any sign whatsoever, they just stared at me like a statue. 

"Uh…so, um… I'm gonna go this way now, if you don't mind…" And, without looking at them in the eyes, I gently moved sideways like a crab, tracing the base of the hill where the cave led to.

*Crack* I cringed. Looking at my feet, I saw a broken tree branch - the source of the noise. Immediately, all the monkeys hissed at me with a sound equivalent to a hundred people simultaneously scratching a blackboard. They began to fanatically jump up and down, swinging on their respective branches like a crazed alcoholic that had just had one too many beers.

Ah, of course that doesn't work. 

*