Routine

“Wake up!”, you are late again! My son, 8 year old, very much a morning person, hyper active, lacking a much desired pause button and completely impatient, is jumping on me, again. The clock reads 6 in the morning. I don’t have to get up until 6h30, right? “Hey kiddo! I know you want to start your day, but aren’t you misreading the clock a bit? We get up at six thirty and not at six.” He looks at me with big eyes, completely ignores what I’m telling and gives me a tight hug saying “I’m hungry. Can I have breakfast?” “Love you too, my little boss!”, I mutter. Guess it’s bye-bye to my warm and comfy bed.

Single dad, two kids, a boy and a girl and an annoying ex who just swings by when she wants to see them somewhere once a month. She always disrupts my plans, is always ready to drop some kind of unnerving bomb on me and always keeps me on my toes. God, I used to love that woman! Real intense love! But since her accident five years ago, followed by four months of coma and six months of revalidation, she returned home morphed into a flicky, irresponsible and unreliable creature. It was costing my health and the kids were crying from our epic shouting contests. In a lucid moment, we both realized this wasn’t working out anymore and each went our separate ways. A quick divorce, a quick financial pay-out, all in good understanding, and the sun shone again. For both of us. Except that she exercised some uncanny ability to throw me off balance for days with each unannounced passage. I’m not even sure she knows what she’s doing. But the kids love her and they are happy to see her each time she visits.

“Mark! Go wake your sister Shana! And geeennntttllyyy! And get dressed! Your clothes are on the chair in your room.” “I’ll start on breakfast as soon as I’m dressed. Since we have enough time, I’ll make mini-pancakes with maple syrup this morning.” “Yeeeeeey! Pancakes!” The exited siren runs off in search for his sister. I sigh, desperately hoping he takes the “gently” to heart. Shana can be really grumpy and bitchy if woken up roughly. Actually, I suspect puberty is starting to hit her, because the grumpy and bitchy thing is becoming more and more a regular theme throughout the day.

At 7 o’clock, we are all enjoying our unhealthy sweets while chatting around about our day. Shana was fussing about a geography test that is planned today and Mark was fooling around again with numbers trying to get some simple arithmetic drilled into his head. I rinsed the plates and cleaned the table while my dear kids went to their chambers to stow away their bottles of water and lunchboxes.

We rode silently to school which was only 15 minutes away and only 1 block away from my work. Shana was tapping on her new old smartphone. She got my decommissioned one when she turned 10. Mark was looking around to spot some birds on the trees and the houses we drove past. I was feeling a little down again. Why do I have to do everything alone? Why is there nobody standing at my side? Will I find a job someday with enough time-off to decently take care of my kids without drowning in unpaid bills?

My typical day continued with my boring work routine starting at 7h45. The company owner has structured his organisation mimicking some typical Japanese work structure because he found this very efficient. I must admit, he has a point. We were all very punctual, all trying to get into the office before our direct managers showed up and we rarely left before the managers left. Needless to say, we worked long hours with a very handsome salary to ease the pain. Of course, this was a bit of a cheap cheat because if you looked more closely and calculated the pay per hour, the pay was just very average, even a bit below average.

Every day at 8h00 we would group up in the hall for the “news of the day” by the CEO or his spokeswoman for about 5 minutes, or 15 minutes tops if there was a larger announcement. Afterwards we would go to our division and our division manager would give his news for 10 minutes. Then my colleagues, our team lead and I had 15 minutes remaining to discuss the problems of yesterday and our tasks or troubling customers for today. Finally we were released to our desks with more or less 15 minutes to spare before the office opens. My job was customer support. Making calls and, more importantly, receiving a continuous stream of calls. Mostly complains and desperate cries for helps, filled my days. If it wasn’t for the oddball with a fun story or really refreshing personality and some regulars worth connecting with, I already would have jumped out of the next available open window a long while ago, smiling all the way down and embracing the relief at the end of the flight.

Our unusual day routine also consisted out of a fixed time to go to the bathroom or take a beverage. Just imagine that you finished school and are just longing back to the fixed structure of the classes. If that is the case, this firm is your home. Fun fact: after a few years, you will even feel the urge to pee at those specific hours even when on a holiday at a beach. Every two hours, we have an obligatory “PE break”. A gym coach bursts into the office and we follow his or her lead for some light movement exercises. At noon, we have a timed lunch in a cafeteria, featuring vending machines with “fresh meals” quickly buyable with a company employee card. Charged monthly of course. I just felt like a piece of cattle. I only lacked a bell and a convincing “mooooo!!!”-sound.

It was around 15h that I got relieved by a call from a regular. A regular I really connected with and whom I even shared a cup of tea a few months ago. It was an elderly lady who had a knack of clicking the wrong buttons in our accountancy software. She would really beat me with whatever object available if she ever heard I referred to her as ‘elderly’. She was about 10 years older than me. She had some dark-blonde hair she wore in a pony tail. Her face was triangle shaped, with some small blemishes from sun and from recurring small zits, a mouth made for smiling and some cute small wrinkles aside her eyes. She had brown eyes that sparkle when she smiled. Age has left her with a nice figure and regular exercise left her very fit. Slim and just curvy enough to get looks, but not to suck away all attention to her. A cute slightly above average woman able to walk around without a trail of stalkers. When I met her, she wore a stylish ensemble hitting the sweet spot between comfortable and professional.

She was always good natured and a real sunshine on the phone, even when in trouble. In the years I was serving her support needs, she had grown very adept at screen sharing and following instructions to get her out of the hole she dug herself into. Today was no different. I was still unsure if it was just clumsiness or some devilish sense for finding bugs that lead her.

“Hi, Chrissy! Good to hear you again. What can I do for you today?”

“Good afternoon, Julian, you know that new and handy screen that was added last month to consolidate the expenses from the employees? I seem to have gotten stuck.” “I can’t do a thing anymore.”

“Really”, I thought, how on earth did you manage that this time? “That’s not ok, what seems to be the problem?”

“Well, I entered the expenses from our employees and now I’m in the summary screen, where I have to approve everything, and the figures are kinda scrambled with some letter ‘E’ in it and I get a warning that the numbers are too high. I clicked the warning away and when I tried to continue or tried to go back to correct a number, a warning popped up again. Sometimes ‘number too high’, sometimes some weird text with ‘overflow’ in it, but in short, I’m stuck in this screen and can’t get out of it anymore. Can you brighten my day and release my shackles?”

“Ok... this is weird. Did you use witchcraft, evil prayers or supernatural powers to achieve this or just the normal hacking tricks?” “Or were you tired of working at your company and tried out some tricks to get it bankrupt?” This was our normal banter.

“Yes, yes, laugh at me! This morning I only refreshed my collection of voodoo dolls and by accident dropped yours, so nothing special... While we were talking, I launched the support app so you can take over my screen. I assume that is the next question that you will ask? Oh … that’s fast, you are already in and I see you moving my mouse.”

“Indeed, let’s banish the poltergeists you attracted... I think I already know what happened, but I don’t know how you achieved this. The numbers you are seeing are very large indeed.”

“I imported the numbers from a spreadsheet I got. Just copy and paste!”

“If that spreadsheet is created in another country then, most likely, some mix-up with the decimal separator has occurred. Most countries use a point, but some countries use a comma to separate the decimal fractions. And somehow, they got mixed up. Computers... they only do what they are told, no matter how stupid it might be.”, I said sharing some useless wisdom.

“Nicely done!”, I added, “And once again, by doing the logical thing, you broke the system and outed a bug. Our development department will be thrilled. I think I’m going to deliver this one personally. Seeing some mild anguish, really boosts my day sometimes.”

“You are a cruel man, Julian! Can you take a picture of them for me when you tell them? Please? I want to see it!”, she begged me. “But next question, can you fix it? I’m still stuck.”

“And then you call me cruel... tsss... Let me see, I think I will need to use the bazooka on this one. I’m gonna nuke the program and wipe the expense notes you entered. Task manager, here I come. Oh, and I’m very sorry, but you will have to redo the expense notes. Without copy paste this time. Hopefully, next month, this bug will be fixed, and you can happily return to lazily dragging and dropping the numbers.”

“Thanks Julian, it means a lot to me to redo the last 4 hours of my life. Especially if I get another go at it with increased chance on making mistakes.”

“You are welcome, Chrissy! Making you happy is my ultimate pleasure! Till next time?”

“Of course! It’s always a delight!”, she sighed back. “How are you kids doing, by the way? Is Shana still alternating between grumpy and quietly sitting in a corner?”

“Yip, since she passed 10, she is evolving into a true sunshine. Puberty. I still don’t know if it is the hardest on the teen or on the environment.” My turn to sigh deeply.

“You’ll manage. You always do! Take care and thanks for the help!”

“Bye, Chrissy. It was nice talking to you again.”

Sometimes we chat longer but I already had the next support call lined up. Also, our time is monitored. Idle chatting and fraternizing are frowned upon. As is having too much fun.

Dentist

Today was turning out to be a good day. I got to help my most devious troublemaker, I got to make the devs a little miserable – I do love payback – and I had to leave early to visit the dentist. I indeed considered a dentist visit more fun than working my long hours. It occurred to me that I might be happier with another job. But this one brought in money and stability for my kids. I cheated a little with the actual hour of the appointment and gave myself an extra hour before I needed my teeth tortured.

I parked my car at the edge of the city, just leaving a park and a small river between me and the dentist. I skipped joyfully through the trails winding between expertly crafted plant beds enjoying the sunny weather. When I passed the old windmill, I noticed a very agitated guy. He was wearing a generic business suit with a lab coat over it. He had sandy brown hair and a very management-like face with bushy eyebrows. And a bright yellow tie to demonstrate his lack of taste. If I would have met him inside a company, I would have grovelled in an instance. Except, the vibe he was giving off now, more leant to “Run, mentally unstable subject on the loose!”. I decided to simply look elsewhere and pass silently giving him as much wide berth as possible.

I almost made it. Almost completely passed the guy. But then he came running after me and I froze on the spot. Should I run? Looks silly to run away from a random human being who is clearly unarmed and very physically unthreatening. Still … that vibe combined with the rapid approach, it felt a little like doom approaching. He passed, turned to me and proceeded to touch me but stopped just an inch short of making physical contact. It helped that I instantly froze and even backed up a small step.

“Sir”, he said with wide eyes, diluted pupils and a mouth etched in a stressed-out expression.

Yeah, should have taken option one: “Run”. Too late for that, better answer something witty.

“Yes, indeed I am male, but I would like to continue walking to my dentist appointment. Please?” Nailed it! Distracting remark, some very obvious info, decisive hint that I didn’t want to talk and a polite finisher. Now off we go. I nodded a farewell and started walking again. A bit anxiously.

“Please, let me go, you unnerving stranger”, I thought.

“Sir, I get your point, but I really need your help” sounded behind me after a second of stunned silence, together with fast steps catching up. This time he did touch my shoulder and held me back lightly. Ok, no escape for me. Change of tactic. Customer support was my specialty. As was listening, giving non-committal answers, sympathising and sending people away again with a good feeling and no solution. Which was more often required then I liked.

“Ok, sir, I’ll take a moment for you. My name is John Cawry. And yours is?” No, it wasn’t my name, but like hell I was going to give that weirdo my real name.

“That’s not important and I better not tell.”

“Nice start, not creepy at all and really helpful! This is awesome!” I thought sarcastically.

“I want to give you a small box with an address, and you need to go to that address for me, and find the card fixed on the bottom of the letterbox, and post this box on the address mentioned on that card.” “And I don’t have time to explain and I’m in deep trouble and in danger.”

I should have run. Can I run now? What will that say about me? This is serious stuff. Spy-like stuff. Dangerous, scary stuff. I’m not qualified for this. I have two kids to take care for. This isn’t happening.

“Sir, I’m a single dad and I have kids, this sounds like a situation I cannot afford to get involved in.”

“John, please, I know, I’m sorry but there is no-one else around I can ask and I have to move quick.”

“Sir, no! I am no hero! More the cowardly type! This is too much. You can’t expect this from me.”

“I can’t take no for an answer.”, he replied in a panic and grabbed me.

Full panic mode ahead! My brain fizzled and died. Rebooted. Nope, still no ideas. Switching to primal instincts. Flee, fight or freeze? Freeze is a no-no, I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to stay here.  Fight then? I did have some martial arts training in my youth. Just enough for actively not wanting to hurt people. Which, as much as I’m freaked out by that dude, I still can’t bring myself to do.  Guess that leaves fleeing...

Feet and legs, engage! And here I went. Running off. As fast as I can. I don’t remember how I escaped that madman’s grip. After a half a minute sprint, basically a double eternity if you are in panic, I slowed down and looked back. No followers and nobody in the bushes. I slowed down to a brisk walk. Grown men in office attire running through the park are silly after all.

I left the park and dove between the houses of the city, seeking comfort of lots of unknown people who had absolutely no interest in stopping me or talking to me. A few cars passed. On a hunch I looked to one of the cars and I saw three guys in it. Two unknowns with normal build and features I forgot the instance I saw them. The third guy drew my attention. It was that crazy lab person. I’d recognize that bush over his eyes and flashy tie everywhere. But his snow-white lab coat was now blotched with large red dots.

My stomach turned. I felt horrible. I felt relieved. I felt guilty. I felt like jumping over a house to celebrate my good fortune of having escaped unharmed. My sense for right and wrong was immediately disgusted with me. My head started spinning. What has happened? Should I call the emergency number? What should I tell? What could I tell? Did I make the wrong decision by running?

I imagined the phone call to the emergency services.

“Hey guys, I just almost got ambushed by a stressed, mad-professor type, fled from him and now I saw him passing by as a passenger in a car. He was accompanied by two males and had red stains, most probably blood on his lab coat.” “Oh, The description of the other guys in the car, they seemed normal healthy generic males.” “And the car was some dark coloured sedan. I think.”

Hmm, I really don’t know the colour anymore. Black, grey, dark red, dark bluey? Or the type. I really, really, don’t remember. It had four wheels, right? That’s 1-0 for the stress hormones!

I took the only rational action left. I went to the dentist and showed up right on time for my appointment. Got my teeth fixed up. Hid my shaking hands. Left with a mouth twice the size of my face and high expectations of the inescapable pain within a few hours. And... I passed the spot where I was ‘attacked’. I looked around a bit to see if that ‘box’ hadn’t dropped by accident or if I could see evidence of a struggle. Didn’t look too hard. Worst thing that could happen, is finding something. It would mean I had to take action and I wasn’t willing to risk myself for that. Luckily I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.

Except for the pain playing piano in my mouth, the evening excelled in normalcy. It was even off-putting after everything that happened. I helped with Shana’s homework, chased Mark around the house to get him to clean up his laundry and to let him to prepare his school bag and dropped down on the couch with some generic Netflix show once I finished both their nighty-night rituals. I couldn’t concentrate on the no-brainer scenes in front of me and I relived everything of this afternoon. I realized that I even never noticed the colour of the eyes of kidnapped professor-type. Not that it mattered. There was nothing left for me to do about it.