Chapter 29: Imminent Danger
...
*Ding Dong*
"Hmm...? Who could it be?" Bell-mere voice came from inside the bedroom as she stood up and walked towards the door after hearing the ring bell.
*Click*
As the door opened, she saw a black haired youth that was frowning slightly at her.
"Oh Sid, It's you!"
"Yeah, I have just come back from my errand at the grand line, and I thought that maybe I could pay you both a visit" Sid smiled gently after seeing the heartwarming welcome Bell-mere gave him, though in the eyes of anyone else Sid's "Smile" Was more like and evil grin.
Of course, Bell-mere was already accustomed to Sid's peculiarity, so she just giggled silently and told him to enter.
...
"So, I wanted to talk to you about something that may happen within the next days, and I think it's very important for both of you" After eating, Sid went directly to the point. Unfortunately Kuina was not at home currently, as she went to buy some ingredients at the market to replenish their fridge.
"I see... Though I must thank you... Ever since you gave Kuina that katana, she smiles brightly every time she practices or uses it"
"Well, it's one of the best Katanas out there. No wonder"
"Where the hell did you get something like that? I was even able to feel the incredible sharpness of that Sword from the distance..."
"An acquaintance gave it to me as a reward after I saved him from pirates..."
"Hmm... But aren't you yourself a swordsman? Why give something so precious to Kuina...? Is it perhaps.......?"
"Who says I'm a swordsman? I'm just an expert in using knives"
"But that hanging on your waist is a katan-"
"Is a very long and curved knife, nothing more and nothing else"
"..."
"So? When is Kuina coming back?"
"Hmm... Now that you mention it... she should have already came back by now"
'Hmm... Why do I suddenly feel a bad feeling about this?' Sid thought while the frown on his face increased a bit.
"Could you go and look for her? Unlike you, I don't have Observation Haki so..." Bell-mere scratched the back of her head while laughing embarrassed.
"Yeah, yeah, I'll be back in a few minutes..."
With that, Sid vanished completely, leaving Bell-mere alone inside the house while she muttered some words with a tired expression on her face.
"Hah~ It's good to be young..."
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Sid POV:
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"Hmm... this dreadful feeling must mean something bad is about to happen... I better hurry up..."
As I activated my Observation Haki and moved my consciousness through the streets of Loguetown while looking for Kuina's presence, I managed to notice some familiar presences near the market, and... Kuina was also there...
"Oh shit..."
Of all the people she could have met... it had to be him?!
I have to hurry up...
*Bam!*
I kicked the ground and landed on top of a house before I started moving stealthily through the roofs of the city in the direction of the market.
Worry and fear invaded my mind as I imagined what might be happening there. And no matter how positively I thought about it, this was really a dangerous situation.
Would this end in a disaster? Possibly. However, I was a Shadow eminence, I had to be able to pass through this disaster safely or otherwise I could be unworthy of my title.
*Tap!*
I landed on an alley where no one was paying attention and started running slightly slow so that no one noticed my super human capacities, yet at the same time I ran fast enough so that no time could be wasted in the slightest. I didn't have that privilege in this matter.
"There she is..."
I hid behind some people that were watching the spectacle, while also hiding my presence by using my mobness to pass unnoticed.
There stood Kuina, this time with the appearance of Kushina, grabbing her sword on her waist while looking seriously at the man in front of her, and his companions.
Why the heck are you here... Nael?
"Listen here miss, I just wanted to know if you were interested in joining the marines, no need to be so angry..."
"And why the heck should I join in the first place? I'm plenty good with my current life"
"But miss! You have such an enormous power that could help dozens of people! Think about it, the dozens of people that are kidnapped daily by evil pirates!"
This time Kuina looked in my direction, with a slightly raised eyebrow as if amused by the fact that I was here while Nael said that, then after that she looked back towards his group and looked at them with a challenging gaze.
'I know that what I did could be considered kidnapping... but no need to hold such a grudge against me for so much time...' I sweat dropped at Kuina's attitude.
The reason why Kuina managed to spot me was because she had for some reason got accustomed to my mob like aura, thus making my technique useless against her for some reason.
I think I will need to think of a new technique one of these days...
"I said I don't want to, is it really hard for you to understand?"
"But...!"
Tsk tsk tsk... really, I guess Nael still has a long way to go as a protagonist... he still hasn't learned how to bullshit perfectly in order to convince people... I guess then that there's only one option left.
"Then duel me! But if I win you will join my crew and help me defeat pirates, and if you win... Err..."
"A duel, huh? Sounds interesting, what do you think about handing me all your money once I win?" Kuina said while grinning mischievously.
"Geh...!" Nael was taken aback, before he glanced inside his wallet and gulped in a hesitant manner.
"What's wrong? Are chickening up?"
"Tsk, whatever I will win anyways..." Nael took out his sword and prepared his stance to attack Kuina.
Kuina did the same, taking out her beautiful katana out of its scabbard and preparing herself to end this duel in just seconds.
Hmm? Hasn't Nael grown slightly arrogant?!
It was then that it hit me.
The character development event!
By being defeated and humiliated, the protagonist will forget his previous arrogance and will begin training in order to surpass the one that defeated him. Gaining not only humility, but also a great power up in the middle of his journey!
Yes! This is perfect...
Though, how should I introduce myself into this event? Should I become one of the people at the public? Screaming things like "Are they even human?!" or "Uwah! Mommy I'm scared!"
Huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue....
Go Kuina, make him grow as a person...!
...
And take all his money while you're at it!
...
I have to be honest and say this story is going down hill if the last 7 chapters is anything to go by on your direction for the future.
The Framing of the chapters are becoming more childish and the developments are becoming more nonsensical, examples:
The drive to learn an ability to be able to hide from even strong observation Haki from beings like garp is cool but the framing as a Mob Fu technique so he can pretend to be a lowly marine makes it not cool.
The Drive to get better at using the sword so he builds a ship to go to an island with a master swordsman is understandable and simple enough to be logical. But it is nonsensical to build a ship that can shrink down to be inconspicuous on his person and still when expanded have a mechanism to make it travel across the sea with little to no sound.
It could make sense if he took Enel's devil fruit and put it in an object to power the ship or if he had a crew mate that's devil fruit power wasn't the strongest so they were depressed but mc used his mechanical knowledge to make a collapsible ship that they could power single handily, that would at least have build up that makes ignoring the leaps in logic fine.
So While I like the story and the Mob fu stuff is funny every once and awhile I would suggest to make the plot have more weight by cutting back on Mob fu(or including more plot per chapter) and having more build up to scenes (Like instead of a 6 year time skip to smoker getting beat down effortlessly, start with MC beating smoker luckily just from haki than 2 years later beating smoker easily and end with the smoker getting beat effortlessly).
Now I understand that these points may not even be problems, just a biproduct of you going though and doing a couple of time skips to catch up to the start of One piece to get your main story underway, and if that is true I just wasted 10 minutes for no reason but if not I just want to give you some insight into a reader with my eyes would view it.
But I do love the Story and nearly all plot points make sense even the Cyborg heart as Franky is nearly all Cyborg so a heart should defiantly possible and how you framed it as a hard job for the Mc as he isn't used to that type of thing is great and with a sprinkle plot Armor it worked great..
Agree... What makes the ’hiding’ worth doing in a story is the ’revealing’ moment, something that even the original Sid brushed over most of the time sadly...
For a hidden power like Sid to be interesting and satisfying to watch, we need to have some people actually knowing who he really is or the whole hiding thing became useless. And by some people I mean more than bell and kuina, who barely had any screen time.
I'll take it in mind!
I feel like half of this whole story is nonsensical flexing of his legendary "Mobfu" techniques....not that im complaining.
Blob Neutral
Thank for the chapter!!!