7. Sister
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Announcement
Content warning: brief mention of suicide, death

I collapsed onto my bed with a deep exhausted sigh. It was Friday evening and things were finally quiet.

The past five days were an unpleasant blur. Mom was an emotional wreck for most of it, and I'd alternated between numb, feeling worried about mom, and being overwhelmed and stressed out. I could barely remember half the stuff that happened, but it was a lot.

Sunday afternoon the cops took me and mom to the hospital so we could formally identify my body. That just about killed mom, and she was a complete mess for the next couple days. Me and Lily wound up handling most of the arrangements, and Mom got time off from work to mourn and grieve.

Lily conjured up new ID and stuff for me overnight on Sunday, so Monday morning I was officially and legally Mara Carter. She also made my ID say I was a year older, nineteen now instead of eighteen, which meant I was already done with high-school.

We even came up with a cover-story to explain who I was and why I hadn't been around till now: I was dead-me's older sister. When my dad walked out he took me with him, so I lived with dad while dead-me lived with mom. And I finally left dad because he was a jerk and come looking for my mom and brother. I finally found them, but got here one day too late to meet my little brother.

It was an ok story, it sort of made sense, but I figured it had a lot of holes in it. The weird thing was nobody questioned it at all. Everyone just accepted the explanation and accepted me as my own long-lost big sister.

On Tuesday we found out from the cops that the guy who killed me was charged with distracted driving causing death. Mom wanted to go to the hearings and stuff, she was really upset about the whole thing and wanted to make sure the guy didn't get away with it.

Some guy in a suit came to talk to us on Wednesday. He might have been a lawyer or an insurance guy, I wasn't sure. SUV guy's insurance was offering mom a settlement but the guy said mom might be able to get more if she sued. Mom didn't know what to do so she told the guy she needed some time to think.

Then on Thursday we found out SUV guy took his own life overnight, he couldn't handle the guilt or whatever. That left both me and my mom feeling really weird, like I don't think either of us wanted that. She wanted the guy to face justice but she didn't want that kind of thing to happen. And I was still kind of angry with him, but it all worked out ok for me in the end. And anyways I never wanted the guy to get hurt.

Over the past few days I also closed or deleted all dead-me's old online accounts, and set up some new ones under my new name. And I got a new number for my phone, since the old one was 'his' and that would have been weird.

I didn't see Jason at all during the week, but I exchanged a few texts with him. I almost got the feeling he was avoiding me though. Or maybe the whole me-being-dead thing finally got to him, same as it did my mom.

And through it all, people kept sending mom flowers and condolence cards. Some friends even dropped by to see her. It was good for her but it also kept her emotionally drained.

We had the funeral this afternoon, and that was yet another level of awkward. It was like the bizzaro icing ontop of the weird-ass cake that this whole week turned out to be. Mom cried a bunch even though I was still there with her. And seeing her cry made me cry a bunch too even though I wasn't even mourning anyone. More people showed up than I expected. Mom's friends and some people from her work were there. A couple of my teachers came, along with a handful of people I knew from school. And Jason was there too of course, with his mom and dad.

Me and mom just got home from that an hour or so ago, and we were both totally exhausted and drained after everything we had to deal with this week. I hoped with the funeral over it meant things were finally going to settle down now, that we could just put all this behind us and get on with our lives.

It was around dinner time, but I wasn't hungry and I figured mom wasn't either. Neither of us had eaten much this past week. There was too much stress, too much going on. So we'd sort of survived on snacks, leftovers, and we got pizza delivered one night.

For now I just lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I was still wearing the pretty black dress I'd picked for the funeral, and had some sombre make-up on. I couldn't even remember going out and buying it, but I did remember spending a few hours watching tutorial videos and learning how to do it right.

Eventually my phone started buzzing with a few incoming text messages, and I slowly got myself up. My phone was in the cute little black purse that Lily got for me the same time she came up with my new ID.

I grabbed my purse then slumped into my chair and dug out the phone. The messages were from Jason, asking if he could come over to talk to me.

I stared at the texts for a few minutes before I wrote back that I didn't want to bother my mom, so if he was coming over we had to keep it quiet.

He texted back that he understood, and offered to bring some food since he figured me and mom wouldn't want to cook tonight.

I thanked him, and he said he'd be here in a half hour or so.

It took me another couple minutes to finally get to my feet again. Mom's bedroom door was open and she was just laying exhausted on her bed, pretty much the same as I'd been.

I watched her for a moment then said quietly, "Hey mom? Jason's coming over, he's going to bring some dinner for us."

She sighed, "Thanks hon. Tell him I appreciate it, but I'm not hungry right now and I'm not feeling social."

"Ok mom. We'll save you something incase you're hungry later."

I pulled her door almost closed so she'd have some privacy. I stepped into the washroom and tidied up my make-up a bit, then I went into the living-room to wait for my friend.

"Hey Lily?" I asked quietly as I waited for Jason. "Are you ok? I haven't heard much from you the past couple days."

There was a brief pause before she replied, "I'm fine Mara. I've been busy, but everything is nearly ready now."

That brought a slight frown to my expression, "Ready for what?"

"Six days ago when you found my amulet, before you fantasized about becoming a girl you imagined it might be worth a fortune. You thought about selling it, so you and your mother could move to a nicer house, buy a nicer car, and save your mother from having to work any more."

I blushed but responded, "Yeah I remember. What about it? I can't sell the amulet since you won't let me even take it off."

She sounded amused again, "You won't have to sell it Mara. It's worth far more than you could ever imagine right where it is. I've already granted your second wish, Now I'm almost ready to grant your first wish. Very soon, you and your mother will have that life you dreamed of."

I sat there stunned for a few moments, but my heart was racing. Finally I asked, "Really?! How? When? How's it going to work?!"

Lily's voice still sounded amused, "Be patient Mara."

I kept asking questions, but Lily had finished talking for now. Still, it was pretty exciting. It almost felt like after a week of hell, maybe things were going to get better in a big way.

When Jason arrived fifteen or twenty minutes later I was daydreaming about what life might be like if all that came true.

I opened the door and let him in as I said quietly "Hi Jason. Thanks for bringing food. Mom's resting, but she said thank you for thinking of her."

He gave me a sad smile, "It's ok. I figured you two had a rough week, you wouldn't feel much like cooking."

He had a big bag of Chinese food with him, so I grabbed a couple plates and some napkins and cutlery from the kitchen then we got the food spread out on the coffee table in the living-room. We also grabbed some cola from the fridge, then we sat down together on the sofa.

He'd gotten changed since the funeral. This afternoon Jason was wearing his fancy Sunday church clothes but now he was back in jeans and a t-shirt, and he had his favourite spring jacket and sneakers. I was still in my pretty black dress, and I had some cute black heels on my feet. Like the make-up, I couldn't remember buying them but I could remember taking an hour or two the other day to practice walking in them. They weren't too high, just like an inch and a half, and I seemed to be able to manage them without any trouble.

There was a lot of food but I wasn't all that hungry. The two of us ate in a kind of awkward silence, but after a few minutes I'd already had enough.

I sat back and had a sip of my soda then asked, "How were things at school?"

"Sad and weird," he replied quietly. He sounded sort of serious and a bit down as he continued, "It's weird not having you there. All the classes we shared, seeing where you used to sit? Seeing your desk empty and all that, not having you there in the cafeteria at lunch, it's all kind of sad."

I sighed, "Sorry Jason. Shit's been so hectic around here this week I haven't even had time to miss it. But seeing people at the funeral today made it hit a little harder."

He ate a bit more but nodded, "That was pretty messed up. I mean I bet it was weird as hell for you?"

"Awkward as fuck," I replied with a grimace. "I'm so glad it's over now."

Jason had another sweet and sour chicken ball then asked "Have you heard anything more from Lily yet? She given you any indication what she wants from you?"

I had another sip of cola then replied, "We've talked a few times. She's still being super helpful. She got me new ID and stuff, and she helped me handle things back on Monday and Tuesday when my mom was too upset to deal with stuff."

I added, "I know you don't really trust her? But I have to say, she's been great. She's helped out a lot. Not to mention the fact that without her I'd still be dead right now and my mom would be all alone."

He was quiet for a few minutes then finally nodded, "Yeah. I guess I haven't really thought about it like that. I mean whether or not she was around there'd still be a funeral today. I'd be missing you at school regardless. But thanks to her, you're still here so we can talk and have Chinese food together and everything."

We were both quiet for a few minutes, and Jason finally had enough to eat and just sat back on the sofa next to me with his drink.

Eventually he said "I'm sure this is inappropriate as hell but you look pretty damn hot in a dress. And those heels make your legs look even sexier."

I couldn't help it, I smiled. "Thanks Jason."

After another minute or two of awkward silence he asked, "You still enjoying being a girl?"

"Yep," I replied with another little smile. "The past few days have been crap, but I gotta say it's almost been worth it? Like, bad days come and go but I'm always going to be a girl, and that's pretty fucking cool."

Jason sort of stared at me funny as he had another gulp of his cola, then finally asked "Tell me the truth. Is this just you making the best of a bad situation, or did you actually want this?"

I felt my cheeks going red, and finally admitted "I wanted it. All the times we joked about being isekaied or cursed or whatever, like 'oh no, somehow I got turned into a girl'? I uh. Yeah. I kind of wished or hoped that sort of thing could somehow happen for real."

"And it did," he said quietly. He sort of shook his head, "You know that means you're trans, right? I mean, cis guys don't sit around fantasizing about being girls. For that matter, I'm pretty sure if a cis guy got turned into a girl he'd be freaking out about it and desperate to fix it. Not changing his name and pronouns and wearing dresses and heels and make-up."

My blush got a little brighter and I didn't know what to say. I just stared at the food on the coffee table and took another sip of my drink.

Lily picked that exact moment to speak up as she suggested, "Ask him if he's jealous."

I wound up coughing and sputtering as I nearly choked on my cola.

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