"You're sure you're ok?" Jason asked as he watched me catch my breath.

I nodded, "Yeah I'm fine. Sorry."

I was still blushing brightly, both from what Jason said a few minutes ago about me, and what Lily wanted me to ask him.

She spoke up again, and while her tone sounded like she was amused what she said bothered me a little. "If you don't ask him, I will."

That was about the only thing I could really complain about in this whole situation. I didn't like when Lily took over, and I hadn't told either mom or Jason she could do that because I knew they'd both freak out. Jason didn't even know she could talk to me in my head.

I set my soda down and sighed, then looked at my friend and said "Ok Jason I have to ask. This has been on my mind a few times since you visited on Sunday and found out what happened to me. Between stuff you said then, what you just said now, and the sort of things we've talked about in the past and everything... Tell me the truth, are you jealous?"

His face went beet-red and now it was his turn to stare at the food as he drained the last of his soda.

After a minute or so he replied quietly, "After all the times we joked about getting isekaied or reincarnated or whatever, seeing you basically go through it made me realize how not-funny the dying part is. I couldn't do that to my family. My parents, my brother, I couldn't put them through that sort of thing. And honestly the idea of dying kind of scares me, even if there was another life waiting for me on the other side."

I sighed, "I think you know I wasn't asking if you were jealous of me dying. I'm asking if you're jealous that I got turned into a girl."

His face was still bright red, and his eyes remained firmly fixed on anything but me. He was quiet for a while longer before he admitted in an even softer voice, "If I didn't have to die? If there was a way to like, just try it out, without having to be dead... I'd go for it."

He quickly added, "Just to see what it's like, you know? I'm not saying I'd want to do that forever."

There was another longish pause, then he shrugged "It doesn't matter anyways. It's not really an option, it's not possible."

"I'm kind of friends with a powerful ancient sorceress now Jason," I pointed out. "I have a feeling we might have to rethink our ideas on what's possible and what isn't."

He didn't respond to that, but he continued to blush.

We were both quiet again for a minute or so, then I smiled slightly and asked, "Since you're the expert on this stuff maybe you can enlighten me. Is wanting to 'try out being a girl just to see what it's like' the sort of thing a normal cis guy would want to do?"

Jason's face remained bright red and his eyes widened slightly, before he mumbled "No comment."

I watched him for a few more seconds then asked quietly "Seriously though, is there something you want to talk about? Or tell me? Or ask me? I'm here for you."

He was still blushing, but finally shook his head. "Thanks for asking Mara. But no. Maybe some other time."

I felt a little surge of joy, I was positive that was the first time Jason actually called me by my name. I kept quiet about it though since I was trying to be serious about stuff now.

I just nodded to him and said, "Ok Jason. If you change your mind, I'm here for you."

Eventually the two of us gathered up all the leftover food and put it away in the fridge, then we sat together on the sofa again.

"So any idea what you're going to do?" he asked. "I mean, you're obviously not coming back to school. And I guess that summer job's not happening either? I mean, it was other-you that had the job lined up, not new-you."

I grimaced, "Like I said, this week's been super hectic. I haven't had a chance to even think about what happens next. You're right though, I'm not going back to school. I don't think I'm going to miss much though, like we've already pretty much done everything? Just means I don't have to write exams and stress about grades."

"Nice," Jason replied. "But that means you don't have a diploma or whatever. What about the job?"

I shook my head, "I'm probably not doing the job either. I don't know what exactly I was supposed to be doing, but if it involved any heavy lifting or whatever, I probably couldn't do it anyways."

Of course if what Lily said actually came true then I wouldn't need to worry about a summer job. I didn't want to mention that to Jason though, at least not yet. Partially because I didn't want to jinx it, and partially because I figured he'd be uptight about it or he'd have a bunch of questions that I couldn't answer.

I figured it was safer to just wait till it was done then tell him about it afterwards.

He looked a little worried as he asked, "What about college in September? You pretty much needed the diploma and the job to guarantee you could afford it and get accepted. Or are you giving up on that too?"

I gave him a look and teased, "What are you, my mom? Like I said it's been a hectic week, I haven't had time to think about the future yet. It hasn't even been a full week since I died, my funeral was this afternoon. I'm hoping that now it's over I can finally start figuring out what I'm doing with my new life."

Jason just nodded and was quiet for a bit. Then he looked sort of hesitant and asked, "So I was wondering about Lily... Could I meet her?"

That caught me off-guard, I sort of blinked at him and asked "Why do you want to meet her?"

"You're my best friend," he replied with a shrug. "She's obviously become really important to you, you even called her a friend a little while ago. I want to meet your new friend."

That made sense, but I had no idea how to respond. It wasn't that I was opposed to him meeting her, but I was a little nervous about it. And I wasn't sure if it was even possible, except by Lily taking over my body. And I didn't really want anyone to know that happened, I was worried he'd freak out about it.

While I sat there sort of frozen not knowing what to say, Lily spoke up again.

"Tell him yes," she suggested. "Tell him you're able to channel me, so I can talk through you."

I wasn't sure it was a good idea, but I figured Lily knew what she was doing. I took a deep breath then looked at Jason and said "If you really want to meet her, I can arrange that. I can uh, 'channel' her? So she talks through me?"

Jason frowned for a few seconds then asked "So she's like a spirit or something?"

"Yeah, I guess?" I replied. "Something like that anyways."

"Ok," he nodded. "Can you do that now? Or does it take time to prepare or whatever?"

"I can do it now," I replied. Then I admitted, "I don't really like 'channelling' her, but you're right. You and she are both my friends, it makes sense you'd want to meet her."

He frowned again, "If you don't want to or you don't like doing it, I understand. I don't want to make you do something you're not comfortable doing."

"It's ok," I replied. "Just don't freak out or anything. And remember to keep quiet, my mom's resting."

Jason nodded, "All right."

Once again it was like I'd been pulled into the back seat. I'd been sitting back relaxed on the sofa, but now my body moved on its own.

My posture shifted and I sat up straight, I turned slightly towards my best friend and 'I' stated "Hello Jason. I understand you wanted to meet me? I also understand you've had some questions about me, and some concerns."

He sort of pulled away slightly, I could tell he was nervous. His eyes flicked up and down over me, and he asked, "You're Lily?"

'I' replied, "Correct. If you have questions, please ask now. Mara doesn't enjoy this experience, I don't wish to prolong it."

"Oh right," he nodded. "Uh, what are you? How old are you?"

I felt myself smile as Lily responded through me, "Mara has referred to me as an 'ancient powerful sorceress', which is an accurate description. As for my age, 'ancient' sums it up I think."

Jason had a thoughtful frown on his face, I figured he was scrambling to think of what else he wanted to ask.

"Um, when was the last time you were around? I'm assuming when Mara found your amulet that got your attention or something?"

Lily seemed to consider the question for a moment before she replied, "You're correct, Mara woke me from my long slumber. The last time I was awake was about a thousand years ago."

That seemed to impress my best friend. He hesitated again slightly then asked, "Uh, what sort of stuff can you do with your magic?"

I felt myself smiling again, Lily was amused by the question. "I can do a great deal, Jason. Was there anything in particular you were interested in?"

Jason looked embarrassed, and Lily's smile grew wider.

"Ah," she stated. "Are you thinking about what you and Mara spoke of earlier?"

My best friend's eyes widened and his cheeks went red as he looked down at the coffee table.

Lily continued smiling as she said, "In fact I could do that for you. But not now, not tonight. You need to take time to think about the wider consequences. What would you tell your family, your other acquaintances?"

Jason was still blushing, but now he looked thoughtful as well as embarrassed. I was cringing as well, or at least I would have cringed if I was controlling my body. I felt embarrassed for him, but at the same time I was dying to find out if he was seriously thinking about this stuff. Especially now that Lily confirmed she could actually do it.

He stayed quiet, and after a minute or so of silence Lily said "It seems the conversation has ended, so I will take my leave."

And just like that I was back in the drivers seat. I sighed and let myself slump back a bit as I relaxed.

"Hey Jason?" I asked softly. "Are you ok? It's me again, Mara. Lily's gone now."

He was quiet for a little longer before he finally asked "Did you uh, did you hear all that?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "When we do that I'm sort of still around? I can see and hear what's going on."

"Oh," he went quiet again, and I could tell he was still embarrassed.

I watched him for another minute or so, then asked quietly "You're sure there's nothing you want to talk about? You know you can tell me anything right?"

Jason stayed quiet for a little bit longer. When he finally spoke he was very quiet, more like a half-whisper. He took a deep breath, and with his eyes still fixed on the coffee table he replied softly "You were right, I'm jealous."

He paused and took another deep breath before he continued, "I kind of figured this stuff out about six months ago. But I was scared, so I guess I pushed it away and went into denial about it? Then after what happened to you last week, seeing you on Sunday and realizing it was really you, realizing it was real..."

There was another deep breath, followed by a long sigh. "It brought all that stuff up again for me. I've spent hours every night this week on trans discords, trans info websites, all that stuff. Reminding myself what it all meant? I mean, the stuff I'd been thinking, feeling. And thinking about the sort of things you and me talked about over the years, stuff we joked about, made me wonder if maybe you felt the same way as me."

I stayed quiet, I was sort of half shocked, half freaking out.

Jason still hadn't looked at me, and after another brief pause he shrugged "Now you're a smoking hot girl and you seem really happy about it. And like you said, you're friends with a powerful sorceress. And it sounds like maybe she can do that for me too? It's like, I'm terrified but I'm also uh... Yeah. I'm also seriously thinking about it. Like she said, I just have to figure out what to tell people."

He gulped then added with a nervous smile, "I've even got a name picked out... I actually chose it ages ago."

I watched him for a few more seconds, then asked softly "What's the name? Do you want to tell me?"

"Melissa," he replied in a whisper.

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