Bureaucrash!t
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“Aww, you have a little bright furry, that’s so cute!”

I resisted the urge to facepalm for the third time as Laura carried me, hugging me around the midsection and dangling my little feet, all the way from the truck to the bookstore. 

“Couldn't you have gotten a bag or something?” I murmured out of the corner of my mouth, trying to remain limp and inanimate-looking during the journey.

“Hindsight is twenty-twenty,” she murmured back, freeing a hand to wave acknowledgement to the stranger before resuming her grip. 

The bell of the shop dinged as she carried me in and I steeled myself for my least favorite part: reintroductions.

“Hey, Tim.” Laura wove her way across the cluttered shop/coffee bar. She took a furtive look around the small shop before plopping me gently on the bar and leaning against the edge casually.

“Howdy, Laura, knot.” I grimaced as he nodded toward me. I had expected as much, but it still stung to be treated like a sentient toy. 

 

“We have an appointment with Daphne.” 

I folded my arms and sat back trying to be subtle about getting my tail out from under me as I looked from Laura to Tim.

“Yep. She’s expecting you. I'll take ya back.” Tim reached for me, but Laura was quicker, scooping me up in a bridal-style or I guess more accurately baby style hold. 

He shrugged and led the way to the end of the counter and through the back door. The small bookstore opened into a much, much larger office-style hallway. I had only been around this building a couple times, but the mystical aspect hadn’t worn off for me. It felt like stepping into a pocket dimension of some sort. 

We passed countless doors each labeled with a city, state and establishment name. Despite what a great boon this sort of travel would be, though, the place felt pretty deserted. We passed a couple employees pushing carts of books and magical artifacts but otherwise passed unmolested until we reached the department of great transformations. Tim knocked twice and then let us into the comparatively homey office.

Behind her obsidian desk sat the woman herself, Daphne, master of great transformations. 

“Ah yes, the two o’clock.” She looked up over half-rim spectacles, seeming almost bored as she took in the sight of me huddled in Laura’s arms.

“All right, knot, front and center.” Her tone wasn’t overly unkind, but I felt myself bristle anyways. I knew better than to talk back, though, so when I was deposited on the desk, I hobbled over obediently. 

“Your name is… Jacob Harrington, is that correct?” 

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And your caretaker is Laura Bundy?”

“Yes.” 

I shuffled idly, distracted by the vividly colored wallpaper for a second until I realized I had zoned out.

I nodded as she confirmed my social security number and explained that she was going to perform a basic physical examination. 

“Did they have nothing human shaped?” she asked, I suspect half rhetorically as she inspected my wings with a set of colored lenses.

“That’s what I was wondering!” I threw my arms up, earning a scowl from Daphne. I coughed and cleared my throat. “I mean, I didn't see anything, so I made do.”

“Quite.” She nodded. 

I looked over my shoulder at Laura, but she just shrugged. 

“Well, luckily for you, it's quite immaterial what shape the vessel starts with as the entire point is a complete transformation. You may experience some discomfort as your new limbs fade and disappear, but it's nothing to fret about. Yes, well. Laura, the essence is intact. I fully expect this to be a routine unravelling. Please do not hesitate to return if you have any uh, hiccups, along the way.” 

I thought I heard her mumble something to the effect of “Wouldn't be the first time this month,” but Laura swooped in as usual. 

“Thank you very much, ma’am, we will.” 

“I'll let you find your way back home, have a nice day.”

“You as well,” I squeaked from Laura’s arms, much to my chagrin. 

“She seemed nice.” Laura lifted me over her head and placed me on her shoulders as we left, giving me a vaguely nostalgic vantage point of the world. 

“Her bedside manner is shit,” I mumbled causing my steed to shake with laughter. 

“Fair enough, fair enough.”

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