Hi, Ben. How have you been?
I'm smiling, remembering that joke
about your name.

I remember when I left you,
it's still the only time I ever truly
intentionally hurt someone.

Your heart was in my hands,
and mine was in yours,
but I guess we both kept some crumbs
when we returned the organ.

Although I say that I meant to hurt you
please don't misunderstand.
I would have loved to be with you
until the end of time.

But why am I here again?
Repeating your name as if you'd be back
like a God who will return
if I worship you enough.

I remember you got jealous
when I dreamed about the moon man
who cracked my heart before,
but I said he never loved me back
and I meant you were my only one.

I thought it was funny that such a dream
could make you feel that way,
because what is a dream worth
when you were my reality?

Ben, Benjamin, BenBear Senpai.

These names echo and dizzy me.
And what did you call me?
Simply by my name
because you hated pet names,
but I loved you.

I remember we played out again and again
how it would be when we meet.
You'd pick me up and spin me
because I was 4'11"
and you were plus one foot.

I remember the size of your hands
when I said mines were small
and they'd fit so well together.

I'm just remembering you, Ben
because I haven't been well.
Or maybe because my sister
brought you up the other day
and all these things I never could say
are finally finding their place.