<P.O.V Himeno>

*Inaudible Sounds*

What's going on? Whose voice was that? Is that my voice? What's going on?

Drifting in my own consciousness I slowly became self aware. Only able to see blackness in front of me I slowly regain my memories.

Oh? I remember, I was looking for someone, someone important.

Slowly my vision blurred and shapes began to form outwardly. Starting with my own liquidated body. Fuzzy objects in front of my eyes begin to wiggle as light slowly enters the darkness. The wiggling objects turned into my fingers, leading to my hands, to my shoulders, and so on. My gaseous and weightless body takes shape and becomes heavy, I slowly feel as if I'm sinking.

Once the floating feeling completely disappears I'm standing on the ground, the wooden floor in my home's entranceway to be more precise. My body doesn't feel right, or actually, it is right but not the right age.

I'm a child again??

"Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

The silence around me is broken. A scream pierces my ears, suddenly making me jump in surprise.

*WAILS*

I begin to walk toward the sounds slowly and cautiously. Something is making me move slowly, as if I was trudging threw mud.

Something! Ugh!

*WAAAAAHHHHHHHH*

My head began to throb, as if trying to stop me from remembering something, or to force me to forget. The sound of crying was slowly debilitating me, but against my better judgment I moved forward.

I've reached the family room of my home. The place where I outed each of the whores trying to take my brother's heart. The desire to protect my brother swelled in me, but that was quickly deflated as I saw the source of the cries in front of me.

Mom! Haruto!

My mother was holding a shaking Haruto in her arms. He must have been about 5 years old judging by his size.

No! I remember this, Haruto was definitely five years old. No… my head… I DONT WANT THIS!

My mind begins to swirl as the events of that day come back to me. Haruto was bleeding profusely from his mouth, there was blood everywhere. My mother was trying to console him and calm him down, but he was in too much pain. 

"Husssshhh, huuussshhh, mommies here." My beautiful mother with her toned features and gorgeous black hair was rocking my brother in her arms. "It's ok, it's ok, it's ok baby."

No….no….NO!... Not this day! It can't be this day.

I looked all around myself for some kind of proof I was wrong, but while looking around I found a pair of bloody pliers in my hand.

"NOOOOOO!" I threw the pliers as hard as I could, causing them to disappear in the air. I rushed over to Haruto so I can apologize but once he saw me he began clawing and clamoring in my mothers arms trying to create more distance from me but that didn't stop me.

*PACK*

That stopped me.

I was laying on the floor now, I remember, thats what happened, my mother slapped me across the face and sent me a few feet away onto the ground. I don't blame her, she was protecting Haruto so that doesn't matter, but the thing that hurt was the panicked look in Harutos eyes as he saw me. How he would scratch and claw his own mother in an attempt to escape me. My eyes flooded with tears. Tears from that day and new years as I'm remembering it fall from my face.

"HIMENO! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT YOUR BROTHER! NOT HURT HIM!" My mother was crying while Haruto cried, but she cried more after she hit me. She was almost as inconsolable as Haruto at this moment. She stood up and began to walk to the entranceway.

She was going to take him to the hospital.

The older me knows this! I KNOW THIS! why! Why do I feel the feelings of my younger self!?

"She's taking him to the hospital!

She's taking him to the hospital!

She's taking him to the hospital!"

I kept trying to remind myself that was all my mother was doing. My mind knew this. Even though it's a memory I can understand, but my heart…. It couldn't handle this and I broke. The older version of me fell to knees next to the image of my younger self. I tried to grab my young self and comfort her, but I fell right through her and as I did all her emotions rushed through me.

"NOOO! MAMA! DON'T TAKE HIM!" Younger me was hurt from the slap more than I thought, my legs were completely jelly and I couldn't stand, mother was the strongest woman I knew afterall, there was no way I could stand. I couldn't chase them. I was powerless. "MAMA PLEASE! I'LL BE BETTER! ILL-BE-BETTER-ILL-BE-BETTER-ILL-BETTER! DON'T TAKE MY BROTHER AWAY, ILL BE A BETTER SISTER I PROMISE! I PROMISE!" My mother stopped and turned to me and said something, but I couldn't hear it over my cries as well as Harutos.

STOP! STOP! STOP! HE'S GOING TO RHE HOSPITAL! HE'LL BE BACK! I PROMISE HE'LL BE BACK.

I tried yelling at my younger self in my mind, but nothing worked. In the past I fell asleep from crying, but later on I remembered my mother said they were coming back when I thought about her words. But, I was too broken to listen when she first said it, the words didn't register. My mother was trying to keep herself together at this point and I wasn't helping.

The visions began to blur again as I laid on my family room floor. The darkness begins to envelope the scene around me again. I become trapped in my thoughts.

I remember that day now. My baby brother and I were cuddling together and watching T.V, I made us some vegetable snacks. I hated vegetables, but mom said if I can get Haruto to eat vegetables he'll grow up big and strong. Looking back on it, I think I was tricked, but my baby brother has kept up with his nutrition and is amazing now. I love him so much…. 

That day I made us carrots with a sesame dressing as I recall, but I was a kid so I didn't cook the carrots, they were served raw. We've done this a bunch of times as I recalled, but this day something happened. His carrot broke one of his teeth. Haruto had a sideways grown tooth, one of his molars, and the carrot cracked his tooth.

My brother was in pain. He began to cry and his big sister wanted to help him. I grabbed a pair of pliers and I wanted to remove the cracked tooth…

I'm sorry Haruto…..

Your Hime(princess) is sorry! Please let me stay as your Hime(princess)! I'm your Hime(princess) right?!

I was a little older than Haruto but I was still a child. Me and Haruto would watch Me-tube and watch cartoons from around the world.

(Honestly, the west does it to the east? Why can't the east do the same)

In an American cartoon we watched, when a toothaches, you gotta yank it out. Wanting to help my brother and stop his pain, I used the guidance of the internet and grabbed some pliers…….. what the cartoons don't tell you is the amount of strength OR control needed.

As I attempted to pull out the bad tooth…. I DIDN'T have the finger strength for the pliers and I ended up slipping and uppercutting the roof of Harutos mouth…….

It took 177,000 yen to treat him because Papa wasn't an "official" full timer for any company yet, so there was no insurance to pay everything.

I only wanted my brother to be happy and to smile. Why do I need to remember this!? Why!?

…..

……..

……….

The world around my body warps even more until my laying body seems to be upright again. My feet planted on the floor again but this time I'm standing on whiteness, it slowly cuts into squares and forms tiles. The walls begin to form and objects begin to protrude and gain color, it seems to be shoe lockers. 

Ahhh! I see, I'm at school, my school to be precise.

I'm in a hallway and bodies begin to manifest, I'm walking towards the exit. I step off the white tile and enter the shoe locker area. I don't know what's about to happen, and I don't want to know, I just want to leave.

"EWWWW GROSS!" A feminine voice says out loud followed by loud laughing.

No! No! No! No!

I turned toward the voice as I finally exited the building. Every face of every student was blurred out. All I could see was the similar uniforms and a group of female uniforms surrounding one person….. me.

"You kept saying you wanted a boy like your brother, but you can't deny you want your brother?!" 

Today, my 'friends' were asking why I rejected the highschool boy that asked me out. He was strong and popular but that didn't matter to me. All my 'friends' became jealous of me and hounded me and in my young naivety I….. confessed the only man I loved was my brother. I didn't say it as a lover, but my jealous friends contorted the the facts and my innocent self couldn't refuse the allegations properly.

"Hahahaha! This bro-con is disgusting isn't she?"

"Yeah! Sasuke-kun is too good for this pervert."

Too good? That sick fuck?! I'm a pervert and I'm gross and I already knew there was something wrong with that bastard!

"Hahah can you imagine!" The faceless bodies kept laughing.

"I bet if you fucked your brother he would be all lovey-dovey but deny it ever happening."

"Hahaha yeah right!? You would just be an onahole to your brother. He just think of you as masturbation and he would never acknowledge you! That would just be sick! Can you imagine anyone loving this pervert!?"

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

*CRACK*

The world froze. 

And ripples… no… cracks formed in the world.

*SHATTER*

the world…. Was gone….

My feelings rejoiced. All of it was gone. I wanted it all to end….. I need this to

…

*FLASH!*

WHAT IS THAT!?

The world was bright yellow…. And I was there.

Please not here…. Not here please… please stop!

I see them… my parents. They are arguing, they are about to go on a date but I've caught them several times getting into fights lately and its because of something my dad did. My mom keeps mentioning that girl, and how she allowed her to be so close.

My dad, who was always docile and followed my mothers whims actually stood up to her and yelled back.

"She is family! I'm sorry it happened this way, I love you, ill never stop loving you…. But I have t-"

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO SHIT! YOURE MINE!"

"******-san HAD MY KID TOO! I ALWAYS TOOK CARE OF YOU AND NEVER ASKED FOR ANYTHING! PLEASE LET ME AT LEAST BE A FATHER TO MY DAU-"

"YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER!"

"....m-mom… dad?" I squeeked

As if rocked by dynamite my parents stiffened.

The day I realized I had to have Haruto love multiple women. I couldn't have him end up like them.

The vision began to blur….

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

STOP! TELL THEM.

I was yelling at my slightly younger self.

TELL THEM WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN! TELL THEM TO APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW! TELL THEM THEY LOVE EACH OTHER! PLEASE! PLEASE!

My words fell on deaf ears. The younger me just acted like she left and continued to eavesdrop, and my parents got ready for their date…. And they…. Never came back.

They left angry at each other. I hated knowing that. Every day they were lovey-dovey but they would argue in secret. Haruto never knew, I still don't want to tell him. 

The world is distorted again.

I was in the living room of my home and Haruto ran to me crying. I was older, I abandoned my "friends"... my parents were gone.

"Hime! Please! Please! Save Sakura!"

That sentence from Haruto ked to the request that got me sent away. 

I remember being taken away from him in handcuffs and seeing him holding Sakura in his arms.

They were middle schoolers…. I did what Haruto wanted, but I wasn't happy.

My only thoughts were how I could get rid of Sakura as I was escorted passed the ambulance and put into a police car.

……

…….

………

That should be the end of my memories. I'm with Haruto now and everything will be fine.

The world went white.

And the Haruto of today stepped out of thin air.

I approached him with a smile but I couldn't get close.

Huh? What is this?

Every step I took didn't move me. I began running but nothing changed in this white space.

"HARUTO!"  I tried to yell, but no sound came from me.

Haruto looked in my direction and smiled. I stopped moving, thinking he can see me. My heart warmed up seeing his smile.

"You!" Haruot said, "you are all I need." He smiled again. My hear began to quiver, and my loins got wet. I stepped toward him again but a shadow over took me.

*whoosh*

Huh?

In front of me Haruto reached out his hand but a shadow took it and he pulled the shadow in. The shadow was the most visible thing in all the whiteness, and my heart began to pound.

The shadow began to take shape and became feminine. A womanly figure was now pulled into an embrace of Haruto and my heart pounced almost out of my chest.

My eyes became daggers and I tried to approach but it felt like an invisible wall blocked me and them. The shadow then manifested a head, and that head rubbed against Haruto.

My body shivered and I began screaming. Running toward them but unable to pass this barrier. The shadow began to quiver and Haruto looked at me, right before looking at the blurry shadow and kissing it.

Once he did, the shadow finally lost its blackness and its features began to form. The shadow became a beautiful woman, but not just that….

My heart is beating my chest so hard that I can feel it trying to wake me! Harutos breaks the kiss with the shadow and the shadow fully gains its color before looking at me….

…..

……

"...mom?" I whispered.

She looked at me and so did Haruto and then they looked at each other and kissed again, before turning and walking away.

"No!" I yelled, but no sound came out, ""DON'T TAKE MY BROTHER AWAY! STOP! STOOOOP!"

………

………

I snapped!

"AHHHHHHHH!" I'm sitting up in bed. I look around and see a startled Haruto right next to me.

I…I….I'm in the hotel….