"I'm sorry."
"You already said that." He shoots back almost immediately.
"I didn't mean-that date was-"
"What? That date wasn't a classic move of a novel scumbag? Playing with both a guy and a girl's feelings?"
My mouth opens. "Wha-we aren't even together!"
"But you were ambiguous with me and dating her. Can't deny that can you?" Hi swords are cold, like knives.
"Furthermore, you gave me this." He holds up the flower.
"What? It's not a rose is it?"
"No, it's a chrysanthemum." Shit. Is there something wrong with that flower?
"Do you know what a chrysanthemum represents in Chinese slang Ram?" Chen asks, an almost devilish smile on his face.
"What are you talking abou-"
He lowers his voice and leans in close to me. "It's the asshole, are you interested in my asshole Ram?"
I blanch. "I-I-I didn't mean that-"
"Then what the hell did you mean?!"
"How was I supposed to know-I mean, it was just roommate-friendship flowers!" I finish lamely.
"Friendship flowers?" He scoffs. "What are we? Five?"
"Look, Chen we're friends aren't we?"
"No Ram." His voice is quiet. "From the first time I met you I never wanted to be just friends with you. And you know that."
"I-"
"But you still went on a date with that girl-"
"Look, it was for personal reasons."
"What 'personal reasons'?"
"My grandmother is ill!" The people surrounding us have begun to stare. I lover my voice to a whisper, although with no less severity.
"What does that have to do with anything?!" Chen also speaks in a whisper shout.
"I dated a girl for her sake!"
"For her sake?! What the hell, this is totally the move of a scumbag! Not taking accountability for anything-"
"STOP TREATING LIFE LIKE A NOVEL! IT'S NOT!" I roar. Everyone stares. I inhale sharply. "It's not!" Chen's eyebrows crease. "But I'm not wrong am I? Blaming your family for your weakness to resist them-"
"My Grandma's life is at stake here." My voice is quiet and cold.
"Stop using her as an excuse! How is her life dependent on you?!"
"It may not be! But she's a living person, not a character! I love her and I will damn well do what I can for her! I'm not like you shirking all responsibility off for-" I freeze. Chen's face is white. Oh shit.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean-"
"That's right. I shirk off all responsibility. I'm not a reliable son, brother, or partner. I guess that means we don't suit each other. Goodbye." He gets up coldly.
"Chen-Chen wait."
I rush after him and manage to grab his arm just outside the door. I open my mouth but find myself at a loss.
"...can I drive you home?" Chen ignores me. "Please, I won't do anything." After several moments he finally says, "drop me at school."
I let go of him: "okay". Inside the car, the temperature is in the 70s but the air is frigid. I glance at Chen through the corner of my eyes. His large soulful eyes are like an open book, filled with emotion. Just as he was practically glowing during his speech at the school, he's cold enough to melt anything now. I pull out of the lot and drive in the direction of the campus. Suddenly my phone starts to ring and I subconsciously accept the call.
"Ramakrishnan!" It's Amma. I jolt at the sound of her voice through the car speaker, which I haven't heard in so long. Why is she calling me, and sounding so urgent at that? I feel dread crawl up my spine and without defeating expectations, her next words fulfil my ominous premonition. "Something's happened! Patti's in critical condition, come now!" In critical condition, in critical condition, in critical condition...The words ring in my head and I feel myself turn cold, even colder than Chen who's practically emitting ice. I feel my heart jolt. Chen! I have to get Chan back to school! But what about- I turn to face him, about to open my mouth and ask...what? After everything the least I can do is take him back to school. I can't just drop him here-
"Go." I freeze. Chen looks straight at me, his face is completely calm and his eyes are filled with seriousness. "Go to the hospital right now, don't worry about me."
"But-"
"Go". So I go. I drive straight to the hospital, switching lanes, zooming pass other cars, and being honked at and flipped off more than once in the process. We finally reach, and I rush out of the car, leaving my phone behind in my haste.
"Ram, Ram your phone!" Chen calls from behind me however, my mind is focused on the words in critical condition and I rush off. I practically run into the white, white building, passing the blue chairs, blue window, quaint café,...etc. I rush through the hallways and up the stairs until I reach the familiar area. My parents are there: Amma in her yellow salwar kameez and frizzy hair about her face, lips pressed tightly together displaying that ever present severity and Appa, bald at the top with a mustache and face frowning instead of painted with his perpetual, genial, vaguely absentminded smile, in a button down with a slight beer belly. I'm out of breath but I hardly notice.
"What happened?"
"I don't know. She was eating and then she had abdominal pain. They said there was nothing wrong. But then she fainted and they took her in and-and they said to wait and see." My mother's lips tremble, even as her voice is cold.
I lean against the wall heavily, as if my body is nothing but boneless limbs. Then suddenly, I furiously pull my arm back, fist it, and let it rip towards the wall. It's...soft. I look up in shock. Chen is hissing, half clutching his left wrist that just got in the way of my fist. I dazedly look up at him, eyes as wide as saucers.
"Hisss...I brought you your phone." He says wincing. Then, I notice the phone clutched in his right hand. I look down at it, then at his wounded hand and flinching face, repeating the motion twice dumbfoundedly.
"Why..." He shakes his head. "Don't worry about it, focus on your grandma."
It feels like eons. At some point Chen disappears however, within moments he's back with four water bottles from the vending machine. He hands one to each of us. My mom blinks upon seeing him.
"Who is this?"
"This is Chen, my...friend."
"Hi Mrs. Nadar. I hope your mother is okay." He says with a soft smile.
"...thank you." She nods absentmindedly, taking the bottle.
"I'm good." My father refuses and he comes back to stand next to me.
Finally, the doctor comes out. We watch him, pale faced and on edge.
"Mr. and Mrs. Nadar...she's fine. She simply went into a coma briefly because of low blood sugar. We've got her hooked up to an IV. She should be awake soon..." I feel my heart drop and I let out the massive breath I didn't even know I was holding. I turn to face Chen. He has a slight smile on his face. "Congratulations." Instinctively, I throw my arms around him. He takes a few hurried steps back in surprise, but then stabilizes, patting my back soothingly.
"She's alright, she's alright!" I cry, my eyes wet. Then, I pause, realizing what I'm going. I pull away from Chen hurriedly.
"Sorry."
"It's fine." He says lightly. There's a moment of silence between us.
"Ramakrishnan come inside and see her!" My mom calls. I glance towards her, then back to Chen hesitantly.
"Go. I'll take an Uber back."
"But-"
"Go." Then Chen turns around and walks out. I watch his back disappear before slowly turning and running back to my family.
