Internet-Degenerate

Fun fact: Left handed people are more likely to pass a written exam than people who have died at birth.

As planned, after I got back to my room, I took a nap. I've been sleeping a lot better for the past few days. My sleep schedule went from 1-2 total hours of broken sleep to 2 hours of sleep a day. Still not healthy, and I still have nightmares and wake up screaming most of the time, but I can't deny that I'm getting better. Baby steps and little victories. A notification from my phone startles me awake. I got an email from Sol, telling me to head to the recreation room. I've never been there before, but I know it's somewhere in the dorms. At least, I think it is. Oh! I found it!

It's such a cozy place. There were two pink sofas, roughly a dozen pale yellow armchairs, and a desk with six desktop computers. The first thing that immediately drew my attention was the grand piano in the corner. If you asked me what it was I enjoyed most in this world, my answer would have something to do with music, whether it be playing music (which is limited to the guitar or piano) or listening to it. I know I'm deaf in one ear, but that doesn't change the fact I have absolute pitch. I don't actually know how to play any songs, though. I don't want to say I compose music since it's more accurate to say I hit keys on the piano in a way that sounds nice to me. It's basically just simple improvisation. As for why I know how to play, well... one day, I just found a piano that was dumped in a forest. At that point in my life, I was too young to have a job, and I was looking for any excuse to stay away from home. I just sat there at the piano and hit notes randomly until I got a sound that resonated with me. Then I just kept going, for hours on end, improving every minute. As edgy as it sounds, mindlessly playing music is the only way I can interpret my feelings and express the ineffable suffering, sorrow, darkness and rage that no one else could feel except me. I'm not good with words, so I vent my feelings to the world through other means.

Don't judge me. 

Before I know it, I've already sat down at the piano. It's a good thing nobody else is here to ask me if I know how to play it. If anyone asks, I can just say I sat here because it's in the corner and out of everyone's way. Just sit with my back to the piano, and I'll be good.

"Salutations." Sol walked into the room and greeted me when she saw me sitting at the piano.

"Oh, salutations." I had gotten used to seeing her in school uniform, so I almost didn't recognize her in her casual clothes. Sol sat down in a nearby armchair and talked to me.

"Now, would you mind telling me what transpired between you and Chloe?" she asks, getting straight to the point.

"Well... I'm not entirely sure, but..." I gaze at my feet as I murmur to myself. "I think I broke a promise? I think that's what she meant when she called me a 'traitor.'

"...What kind of promise?" Sol asks suspiciously.

"She said she wanted to meet me before the school holidays started. I promised to go, but... I didn't..." I'm disappointed in myself. But then again, that's nothing new. 

"Ah... but why?"

"I couldn't. The day we were supposed to meet, loan sharks forced my dad and I to skip town. It wasn't that there was little time to go; it was that there wasn't any time at all. My dad woke me up hours before sunrise and said we had to leave right away. I was already a few towns over by the time she wanted us to meet. I couldn't even get in contact with her because I didn't have a phone. I just... disappeared from her life without any notice. I think that may be the reason."

"So, in the end, it appears that the situation was unavoidable. Isn't that the case?"

"Well... I don't know..."

"In that case, you should apologize at once. Have you told her this story?" 

"No, I never got a chance. I never even told her about my family's debt. I wanted to, but I was afraid that the loan sharks would target her if they found out she knew or something. I don't know. I was a stupid kid. I doubt she would even believe me now, but... you're right, anyway. I should just explain to her what happened and apologize. I'll talk do it! Tomorrow that is."

"Yes, I believe that would be for the best," Sol encourages me with a smile. "...Ah. If you don't mind, I will accompany you," she says.

"What? Why?" She shouldn't have anything to do with this, as far as I know. This is my personal problem to deal with. I looked at her sceptically. She seemed unusually flustered. Is she worried about whether or not I'll be able to do it? That's a fair concern to have. Now I'm worried about it.

"I-It is not as though I am concerned about the two of you," she stutters. "I-It's not like that at all... B-But as I am the leader of the Blue Lily society... Naturally, you are a member of our society... well, not properly, as you haven't been elected. You are, ah, well... an 'Affiliate.' Yeah! I wish to see our affiliate come to terms with his old friend. As leader of the society, that is only natural, isn't it?"

"...Huh? …Is it? It doesn't sound like it is..."

"Of course it's natural!"

"Yep. Natural. Got it." She had gotten so strangely insistent about it I couldn't help but nod along. I seriously need to grow a backbone.

"On that subject..." Sol says, calming down a bit. "Do you know what Chloe wanted to say to you when she called you out?"

"No idea." I remained seated at the piano, waiting for Sol to leave. I really wanna play this piano, but I don't want anyone watching me play. "You can leave if you want," I tell her. "I wanna stay here a bit longer."

"Then I shall stay here, too," she says. I was really hoping she'd leave. I'd leave right now, but that would just be rude. I said I would stay a little while longer, so that's what I'm going to do. I will sit here until she leaves or until I get bored. I stare blankly at the wall for about ten minutes. I check the corner of my vision and see that Sol is still there. She's still sitting there and looking at me. Isn't that boring? It's a little scary. Whatever. I stayed a bit longer, so it's okay for me to leave. I shall come here at around midnight and play the piano. The rooms are fairly soundproof, so I shouldn't be bothering anyone as long as I play quietly.

The next day came way too soon for my liking. I spent hours at that piano, and the next thing I knew, the sun was rising. When the bell rang to signal the end of class, I hurried to class B where Chloe was. Sol followed me. Due to the events of the days before, her classmates met me with cold stares. Nothing new. Chloe seemed to know the second I passed through the doors and fixed me with a glare. As I arrived beside her desk, she turned her eyes to me. 

"...What is it?" Chloe asks in a friendly manner. It didn't seem like she was talking to me. "That's right, you did seem like you wanted to talk to me about something..." 

"Ah, yes, that's right," a voice spoke up from behind me, causing me to jump. It was Sol. I forgot she was following me. "Although we can leave that until later."

"Until later?"

"Seraph wanted to apologize to you. That's why we're here today."

Chloe huffed. "So you can't even apologize by yourself? You gutless coward..."

"Ah, no, it isn't that," Sol tries to clarify. I'm not even getting a chance to speak without needing to interrupt. "I-It's rather, I insisted on coming along."

"Huh?" Chloe utters out in confusion and looks at me for an answer. I shrug my shoulders, looking just as confused as she is.

"W-Well," Sol tries to explain herself. "We are in this together, after all. Ho ho ho." She laughed, either haughtily or embarrassedly. It sounded like a combination of both.

"...I see you're very close," Chloe mutters. The two of them stare at each other in silence, occasionally directing their eyes at me. This is just ridiculous.

"Can I speak now?" I ask impatiently. They didn't respond, so I took that as a 'yes.' "Look. I'm sorry I left without a word, and I'm sorry I couldn't make it to that meeting." I bow my head low in apology. When I looked back up, Chloe was finally looking me in the eyes. Too bad I failed to do the same, darting my eyes towards hers and then away again repeatedly like a weirdo. "I had some unavoidable circumstances that popped up."

"...What circumstances?" She asks, intrigued. I took strength from the fact that she was at least ready to listen to me and spoke quickly.

"I had to skip town again."

"Skip town... really? What do you mean 'again?'" 

Before I could answer her, I got distracted when I overheard a group of girls starting to gossip.

"My... he skipped town." 

"They said that in the newspaper. His father was deeply in debt..." 

"Chloe associated with someone like that?"

"Of course she did. She's a Final Course tourist, after all."

There was that term again. I had completely forgotten to ask Sol yesterday. Chloe showed a reaction at that term, same as yesterday. I wanted to know more about it, but I couldn't let those irritating voices distract me. I didn't want them distracting me in the future, as well, so I should shut them up here. 

"Excuse me." I turn to glare at the gossiping group, annoyance oozing out of my voice. They became petrified, so I continued scaring them. "If you're going to talk trash, either say it to our faces or keep your mouths shut."

They decided to go with the latter option. Good. I turn to Chloe and keep talking. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but as you just heard, my father was in debt, and I never told you about it. I wanted to tell you, but the more I thought about doing it, the more scared I became. I didn't know what would happen if I did, and that scared me."

"...I see..." Chloe mutters. 

"I doubt you know, but- what's wrong?" I was about to tell her about how my family was chased by gang after gang and how dangerous they were, but I found myself stopping quite quickly. Chloe's manner had changed. Before, she was meeting my eyes as she listened to me. But now, her gaze was turned downwards, and her shoulders were trembling. "Chloe, what's wrong?"

"So... even... even you... treat me... that way..." Chloe is speaking in cryptic again. She turned her face towards me suddenly, with the same, tear-filled eyes as the other day. Chloe sent her chair clattering as she stood up. Her brows knitted tightly. She ground her teeth. She muttered something under her breath. Then she screamed it. Wait, haven't I've been through this be-

"YOU IDIOT!"

Her open hand flew through the air and smacked my cheek. Hard. It was a merciless blow. I didn't avoid it because I had already accepted my fate.

"Oh-ho!" I heard Tabby squeal in delight, followed by the shuttering of her camera. She was being relentless with the thing. Where did she even come from? Chloe glared at me, half in horror and half in anger. Then, she turned on her heel and ran out of the room, and Tabby ran off after Chloe's departing form. 

"FOR WHAT?!" I yell at the doorway where Chloe had left through. I dash to the doorway and yell out to Chloe. "FOR WHAT?!" No response. She's already gone. "NAH, FOR WHAT?!" I ask the void. I turn back and ask Sol. "FOR WHAT?!" At least this bit was different from last time; she looked just as confused as I was.