Chapter Thirteen: Scars That Remain
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「 The day of the meeting 」

"Only Lady Ophelia may enter the Royal Palace," a man in his mid-thirties states as I arrive at the palace ground with Jade and several other maids.

'So this is how you want to play uh...' after hearing the guard's words I realized he had been bribed by Terrel. I had already suspected he was up to something but I didn't think he would act so rashly. 

"You are aware that it is unfit, for an unmarried lady, to walk around without an escort, correct?" he averts his eyes and scratches his head. 

"It is the rules of the Royal Palace milady, I hope you understand."

'Palace rules my ass...' no matter how I saw it this was nothing but a trap, 'What should I do...?'

I never expected something like this to happen, however, I knew I couldn't pursue this matter further. Currently, I had three options: refusing to enter without my entourage, make a scandal or just go into the wolf's claws. I knew I couldn't contest these rules since "Ophelia Criswell" didn't receive any education regarding the palace etiquette and, showing too much knowledge so early in the game would only prove to be disastrous. At the same time, making a scandal would be extremely dangerous since it might anger a man I want to avoid at all costs. 

"It's alright Jade, I'll be back," I reassure him as his eyes were filled with concern. 

"If anything happens use the ring and I'll know," he whispers onto my ear softly right before backing away slightly with a painful expression on his face. 

Besides Jade, no one else knew about my secret and, even then, he only knew information that I chose to disclosure. He wasn't a stupid man so he was aware that what I had told him was nowhere close to everything I had gone through. 

Even if he appears like a good-natured person who truly cares for me, I don't trust Jade. I told him these things because I needed his help, nothing more, nothing else. My feelings for him are inexistent, and so I am well aware that these feelings of concern he has for me are born from his loyalty.

'When the tree is rotten so are the apples...' I chuckle painfully at this thought as I realize how similar I was to Duke Criswell, my father. 

 

"Right this way my lady," the guard walks me towards the palace door covered in precious gems and gold pieces.

'This is too much...' I think as I wander around the expensive-looking halls of the castle. I barely visited it in my previous lives and every time I see it I feel like everything is extremely exaggerated, almost as if there is a necessity to show someone's power through gold and precious gems. 

"Lord Terrel will arrive shortly so please take a seat," the guard gives me a polite smile and shuts the door behind me.

I sit on the couch and lean backward in an attempt to relax my body. This hairstyle was making my head hurt and this dress was way too tight but since it was the first time I was meeting my fiancé I needed to be in my utmost beauty. 

My stomach was twirling and twitching with every breath I took. I knew this day would come but I wasn't expecting it to be so soon. 

Terrel was working in the Royal Palace alongside the second prince. Apparently, they were joining forces on a big project but, even then, I didn't know anything about it. Depending on my actions, a lot of things in my life change and so what I know of the future is limited. This lack of knowledge makes me more anxious than anything else.  

 

Two hours passed and no signs of my extremely "loving" fiancé. I was starting to grow impatient and so I decided to wander around the room slowly. 

'How didn't I notice this before...!?' the room was filled with dust and as I walked towards the window I noticed how secluded it was, 'Don't tell me...!' 

This wasn't a room for visitors of the palace, in fact, this was a forgotten room that no one used. Terrel had set me up, just like a wolf and a sheep, I was now stuck inside his enclosure. 

"Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom," I knock on the door to let the guard know I needed to leave but there was no reply. Then I turned the doorknob but the door remained shut.

'So that's the game you want to play...' the large wooden door was locked and I punch it out of frustration, 'How could I have been so stupid...?' 

I already knew how Terrel was and yet, the moment I entered the room I became so obsessed over my past that I forgot the present. 

'I was too concerned on that fucker to realize this,' I chuckle painfully at this thought, 'I must find a way out!'

"Is someone there? Let me out!" I yell as my hands began turning the doorknob several times, in a pitiful attempt to open it but it was useless. 

I didn't know how Terrel manages to do something like this without gathering any attention to himself. The palace is a highly controlled place and there are rumors floating around regarding that man's hate for nobles. 

'He wouldn't allow something like this to happen...' I gather some courage and rush to the door, beating on it with my body. At the impact, I groan in pain and my body falls onto the floor, lying against the door. 

"Shit..." I mumble as I quickly grab my right arm with my left hand. The stinging pain of my actions was overwhelming.

A shiver runs down my spine as I hear some loud voices in the distance. 

'Terrel...!' my eyes wander through the room to find a way out or a place to hide but it was useless, 'There must be something...' 

I get up and look to the window. This room was located on the second floor and luckily, a big tree with large branches was standing right in front of me. As I feel some adrenaline rush through my body I push the glass object open and climb to the window ledge. The voices were getting louder. 

"Come on..." I try stretching my right arm as much as I possibly can but I can't reach the branch, "I need an extra push."

'I guess I have no choice,' after taking a deep breath and closing my eyes I start swinging back and forth as my left hand grabbed the border of the window tightly. Then, I jump and grab one of the branches. 

"Ah!" without realizing a smile appears on my face and, right after I look down to see some of the tree branches below me. Swiftly I position my feet as if I was walking on a tight rope and release my body, falling perfectly on the thick wood. The sound of a door unlocking is heard and I quickly back away in order to be hidden behind the leaves. 

 

"Where is she!?" Terrel's angry voice echoed through the room loudly, "I told you to lock the fucking door!"

"It was locked, milord! No one came here either! I did everything you paid me for!" the sound of someone being punched is heard and soon that same person groans in pain. 

"The window milord!" a new voice, from a man I don't know, is heard. 

"Do you think a girl that was stuck in her house all her life would escape through the window!? Incompetent fuckers!" his voice was louder by the minute, "Find her and bring her to me, immediately!" you hear several footsteps growing further and further away hurriedly. 

'This is troublesome...' I look down just to see the guards search for me through the castle grounds. 

"Ophelia... Where the fuck are you!?" Terrel yells out of frustration. I couldn't see his face but just hearing his voice in that tone made my heart rush as my arms began trembling in fear. 

'I knew it...' this was almost as if I had the blessing of foresight. The fact that I had to come alone, the secluded and dusty room, the locked door, the several hours he took to arrive... Everything fell into place, 'He never intended for this to be a simple greeting.' 

Some footsteps are heard and soon the room above me became completely silent. He was gone. I look around just to see the garden clear of guards. 

'Now to get out of here...' I notice several bushes surrounding the tree and so, after grabbing the branch with my arms steadily, I let my body fall, 'Shit...'

I get up and quickly notice small cuts around my arms from the thorns on the bushes. My dress was stained with dirt and also held small holes created by nature. 

"Any signs of her?" I hear a man ask loudly to another and I quickly hide behind the tree while holding the hems of my magenta-colored dress, "Did you hear that?" 

I hold my breath as I feel their footsteps approach me. A black rabbit with red eyes appears before me and jumps, passing in front of the guards. 

"It was just a rabbit dude," the other male voice states.

"I swear I saw something else..."

"You are overreacting, let's go or that prick will kill us," the footsteps become lighter and soon the sound of the wind was all that remained. 

 

I exhale with all my strength and feel the strength in my legs fail, forcing my body to fall on the floor. My breathing had become unsteady as I held both of my hands tightly, attempting to control my fear. 

"He hasn't hurt you yet... It hasn't happened... Calm down..." I start mumbling to myself as I feel the breeze cool down my face.

Somehow I am able to keep my emotions at bay. My eyes wander through my dress and I begin removing leaves and sticks that were on it while trying to keep it as straight as possible. Then, my hands head straight onto my hair and remove all the ornaments, allowing it to flow freely with the wind. 

 

"What hasn't happened yet?" I look to my right just to find a gorgeous blonde-haired man with sharp blue eyes staring at me.

"Eavesdropping is a very nasty habit, mister," after checking his cheap attire I realized he was not someone from the royal family, most likely he was a guest from a low-ranking family. 

"You dare to answer me like that? Don't you know who I am!?" his voice becomes louder and I frown.

"Do I look like a fortune teller to you?" he grows quiet as he realized his mistake, "Well then, I'm-a-very-important-lord, it was a pleasure to meet you, I'll now take my leave. Have a good day," I politely smile and leave the garden.

 

Hurriedly I head towards the front gate just to see Jade and the maids waiting.

"Master!" Jade's eyes sparkle as his eyes portraits his relief.

"Let them in. I need them to come with me," I explain to the new guards but they look at each other with confusion.

"They should've been allowed entry though..." one of them whispers to the other as they couldn't understand the reasoning behind their colleague's mind.

"Either way, please enter. I'm sorry for any confusion milady," the second one states with a polite smile and they hurry towards me. The maids followed me from behind and Jade was by my side as we were shown the way by one of the guards. 

"What happened!? Are you alright master?" he asks right after seeing the state I was in. 

"Calm down, remember where we are," I glare at him and he quiets down, "Terrel was plotting something so I ran," Jade's fists clench with anger. 

"Can't we just go back?" he questions after controlling his rage. 

"Not yet, I still need to meet him, properly," I smile coldly. 

 

As we walked towards one of the waiting rooms, we cross Terrel. His chocolate brown eyes grow furious as he sees me surrounded by servants. With my entourage behind me, I was able to remain my composure, even though I had to hold my hands firmly to prevent them from trembling. 

"Ophelia, my dear! I'm so glad to finally meet you!" he states with his arms wide open, almost as if he was in a theatrical play. 

"The pleasure is all mine, my lord," I bow down slightly while trying to control my shivering. 

"You are a mess... What happened?" his eyes were analyzing me thoroughly as his suspicion of me rose. 

"I got lost in the garden, my lord, this place is so glamorous, I was a bit overwhelmed," I reply politely. 

"You should see the royal physician, your wounds look serious," he says right before walking closer to me. 

Every step he took made my fears grow as I tried my hardest to maintain my composure. 

'Don't... No... Don't come close...' my mind started to become dark as his body grew closer to mine. I wanted to throw up, I wanted to run, I wanted to cry. 

His touch felt terrifying.

His voice was monstrous.

His stare was horrifying.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt disgusting.

'Someone... Please...!' I couldn't speak, nothing would come out of my mouth. As his arm was about to touch mine I feel my body stiffen as I watched him in horror. 

His eyes weren't filled with concern for my well-being, no. He just wanted to touch me for his pure pleasure as he lustfully desired me. Terrel's soul wanted to eat me whole, keep me hidden to everyone's sight except for his. His hands wanted to choke every last sin of me while his mouth wanted to bite pieces of me off.

"Don't..." I couldn't even complete the sentence since my brain was consumed by painful memories of his sins.

'Disgusting. Filthy. Whore,' these were the words he whispered to me every night making me feel like the most useless and ugly person on this entire planet. And even though I thought I could manage his presence while accepting this past of mine, I can now see how wrong I was.

As I feel his finger touch my bare skin I stumble. Jade moves forward to push him away, however, as I was about to fall due to lack of strength, I feel someone grab my waist strongly, allowing me to stand firmly. 

 

"Are you alright?" those blue eyes that harbored the ocean and that bright bloodstained hair made me snap back to reality. A breath of relief exhaled from my body as I see the crown prince's figure. I straighten my body slightly and place some distance between us. 

"Your fiancée looks unwell," suddenly, Blake places his hand on my forehead making everyone's eyes widen in surprise, including mine, "She should return another day, wouldn't you agree, Terrel?"

"Of course, it wouldn't be wise for my fiancée to be outside with a cold. I will take my leave then..." his dark brown eyes look at me filled with the lust of his evil intentions while his grin made me realize how strong his obsession had become just from seeing me once. A shiver ran down my spine right before reality hits me. 

Terrel's figure disappears and I instantly put myself straight right before walking slightly away from the crown prince, creating some extra distance. Without a glimpse of hesitation, I bow down on the floor, kneeling. All my servants follow my lead.

"Glory upon the royal family who guides and provides. Ophelia Criswell greets his royal highness the crown prince," I don't dare to face him or even look him in the eyes. I remember everything too vividly.

 

✽ ✼ ✽ ✼ ✽ ✼ ✽

 

「 Ophelia's memories, 7th Life」

"How do you plea?" the crown prince's voice echoed through the public square. 

My body was so thin you could only see the bones and my throat as dry as a desert. My hair had been cut and my figure was filled with bruises and wounds from the guard's abuse. My eyes were red and weld dark eyebags from the lack of sleep. I was so hungry that my stomach had begun eating itself. 

The people around me stared, murmured, and laughed as if my execution was nothing more than a free attraction. My sister held Bradley's arms tightly as she grinned. As per usual, his eyes looked bored, without any interest in what was about to happen. On the other hand, my father was standing close to the crown prince while glaring at me with disgust. 

I chuckle at the prince's remark. 

'How do I plea? As if it mattered...' this time when I went back in time again, I didn't want to go through the same hell again and so, I killed them. Terrel Wharton and Layton Verne both died at my hands. 

"Is something funny?" he asks as I continued laughing, louder and louder. 

"Your Grace, I think she has gone insane..." the prince's aide comments. 

"I will ask once more, how do you plea?" the red-haired man gets up from his seat and walks towards the edge of the balcony, looking down at me with those cold-blooded eyes. 

"Guilty," I declare with my rough voice. The prince's eyes widen with surprise at my statement and I grin. 

"I see... Then, in the name of King Julius II, I hereby declare Ophelia Criswell guilty of the murder of Terrel Wharton and Layton Verne," he speaks loudly while glaring at me with clear disgust, "Behead her." 

The guards grab me by the arms, roughly, and push my body onto the cold wooden table. Their strength was keeping me down but, the truth is, I wasn't going to try to run or to hide anymore. 

'Finally...' the sky was beginning to turn dark, announcing the arrival of the night, 'I will finally...' 

The sound of a man sharpening his ax is heard. I manage to look up, at the prince and all my family members who glared at me. For the first time, I smiled. I was finally going to be rid of this burden, of this curse... I would finally be free. The prince's eyes widen in surprise while becoming tainted with confusion. 

The footsteps were getting closer and I knew it was time. 

"Your highness!" a man yells loudly as a harsh breeze blew. The sound of someone falling on the floor is heard and I feel a sharp pain in my right arm. 

I look and see that I had been pierced by an arrow imbued in oil. Blood began pouring out fiercely but soon was dried by the flames. The fire was spreading through the cheap clothes, reaching my skin in a question of seconds. The burning sensation on my skin was getting worse and my sanity shattered completely. 

"Your highness! Please!" I yelled as he appeared again, straightening his attire from having fallen on the ground. 

'Don't tell me...!' I realized this arrow had been aimed at the prince but due to the wind, it blew to me, 'And of course, the fire stayed...' 

His eyes were looking at me confused, almost as if he felt some conflicting within himself. I began crying, begging for him to give the order for my execution. 

"Please! Kill me! Please!" I yelled as loud as I could. The despair was running through my veins as I felt the smell of my burning flesh. 

"We have to go, your highness!" his aide comments while trying to take the prince to safety. 

"Please! Prince! Please!" I kept on yelling as I felt my body become free of the restraints from the guards. My body was being consumed by flames and so, they walked away. 

I wanted to grab that ax but I couldn't move my body, the pain was unbearable. 

"Your highness!" the man yelled. 

As my vision became blurred I saw. My family continued to look at me in disdain, the people around me laughed as if this was a comedy show and the prince watched as I burned. He ignored my pain, my suffering and walked away without giving the order. 

'I swear I'll...!' the anger accumulating inside of me was overwhelming. I wanted everyone to suffer. I wanted everyone to feel the same pain as I did. 

 

✽ ✼ ✽ ✼ ✽ ✼ ✽

 

「 Back to the present 」

I didn't want to catch Blake's attention since I had seen how heartless of a man he was. 

"You may rise," after hearing these words I slowly get up and look down, trying my best to avert my eyes. The discomfort I was feeling was indescribable, I just wished to leave. 

"Thank you for your assistance, your royal highness. I am eternally grateful for your kindness," I politely state after grabbing the hem of my dress.

"Have a fast recovery," he states as he passed through me. His red cape flew along with the wind as his pearly white suit was covered with golden jewelry.

"Let's go," I declare before heading back to the front gates. 

 

✽ ✼ ✽ ✼ ✽ ✼ ✽

 

「 Later that night 」

"It still freaked me out..." as the moon rays shined down upon the room, I couldn't fall asleep. Nero was resting soundly at the end of the bed while I was sitting on the chair. My upper body rested on the wooden desk. Since Gilbert was still healing from his deep wounds I sent Jade to his room, I'd rather have him recover and, truthfully, I would like to be alone.

"I..." my eyes focused on my hands and I felt like throwing up one more time. When I returned from the castle I went straight to the bathroom, where I threw up everything I ate today. Maybe it was the nerves, maybe it was the uneasiness or maybe it was just the fear from my other lives returning.

'That man...' his grinning face kept on appearing on my mind, over and over again.

"Disgusting..." my fingers begin pressing its nails onto my left underarm. Re-opening up my wounds. It was painful but I needed to punish myself for my incompetence. I needed to cleanse myself.

'Take it off... This feeling... Take it off... I'm so disgusting... I'm so...' my mind echoed with depressive thoughts as I tried to skin myself alive, 'His hands... His voice... His touch... His smile... His eyes...' I kept on remembering every single night, every single scar he had left me.

"You must be pretty on the outside even if you're filthy on the inside," I mumbled repeatedly as Terrel's words echoed in my head.

"Disgusting. Filthy. Whore," I get up and start walking in circles as I bit the tip of my fingers harshly.

Suddenly, I stop. The mirror was reflecting me. My pearly white nightgown contrasted with my deep black hair and, as I saw my beauty I started crying in despair.

"Whore!" I yell as I push the mirror to the side, making the glass pieces shatter on the floor but, even broken I could still see my reflection, "You filthy whore!"

I kneeled on top of the glass, making it pierce my skin after ripping part of my gown as tears fell continuously. I covered my mouth with my left hand and started yelling as I grabbed a piece of the broken mirror that dug into my right hand, piercing its skin.

'It won't matter, I can't die either way,' I drop the glass and get up noticing that my dress was now stained with blood. Enraged I throw everything from the table to the floor. My feet hurt from stepping on the broken glass but I didn't care since it couldn't begin to compare to the pain I was feeling inside. 

I wanted to yell. I wanted to cry. I wanted to die. 

As the feelings from self-loathing and rage became numb, everything grew quiet, so quiet. One would almost think it was peaceful but in reality, it was all still a storm waiting to happen.

"Why me...?" I mumble, "Why me!?" I yell as I cover my face with my right underarm, hiding my eyes as tears dropped from them. The blood coming from my arm and hand was finding its way onto the purple carpet. I fall onto the floor, piercing my knees deeply with the remnants of the glass. 

It was painful, so painful. Much more painful than I thought it would be. I thought I had gotten used to it, used to him. I thought I didn't care anymore but my body is still so afraid of him, of his touch, of his presence close to me.

"That's enough," I hear a voice, calm and serene and right before I was able to see who it was, my eyes started to feel heavy, and soon after they closed. My body was losing its strength and I fell onto someone's embrace.

'It's warm...' my thoughts looked so far away, almost as if they had never happened.

"Who...?" I try to question but quickly lose consciousness and end up falling asleep peacefully.

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