「 Layton’s Memories, Age: 14 」

I think that humans end up getting used to certain types of sadness, embracing it as one of their own as time goes by. Instead of facing the facts and evolving from them, they just remain in their capsule, hidden away from the curious stares all around.

It took me a long time to accept what happened that day.

Why did she jump?

Was it my fault?

Were some of the thoughts that haunted my mind over and over again.

My mind kept on playing dirty tricks, repeating her conflicted expression as she jumped.  As time went by, her face became blurred and her emotions a forgotten nostalgia of the past.

Guilt took over me. I thought I had been the one to blame. I thought I should’ve pushed the matter further, that I should’ve asked her what worried her… but I didn’t. I let the matter go just like the trees expel their leaves during the Hunting.

For the first months, I couldn’t cope with the events of that dreadful day. I remained locked away in my room for days, without eating and hiding away from the sunlight. Every night her corpse, pale and cold, would appear in my mind, and no matter how hard I wished, no matter how loud I yelled, Diane wouldn’t move.

Gradually, I began to leave the room and investigate the mansion. I went to the room on the fourth floor, but everything was clean and tidy as if nothing had happened. On the garden, the grass that was previously tainted with the crimson-like substance was now purely green as the dewdrops glimmered with the sun.

Then the shifting guilt began. I needed a reason, a justification.

I began to blame Julius for the atrocities he said to her. The same words that disregarded her as a human being, the same cold and ruthless words he spurred in the heat of the moment.

Cedric’s turn was next. His heartless expression and his unbothered personality made him look like a puppet that was waiting to receive orders from his master. The thought that his timing was too great to be a mere coincidence slipped through my mind.

Then I blamed my father, the Marquess. My memory could still vividly remember the pain I felt that day, the whip ripping off my flesh repeatedly as a grin appeared on his lips. It didn’t matter how many ointments the doctors placed, my back is filled with deep and voluptuous scars that will follow me to my grave.

After blaming the servants, my family, and myself, the only being left to blame was none other but God.

“If you are real, why didn’t you stop it!?” I yelled in the middle of prayer during one cold Frosting night.

Deep down I knew this was just my way to cope with things, to try to find a logical culprit that would fit the bill to deliver my sealed anger.

 

“Do you have any plans for today young master?” Michael became my butler after the incident. He was rather old, and it was clear that, contrary to Diane, his loyalty didn’t lie in me.

He used to stick to me like glue, watching my every move like a hawk spying on his prey. Maybe because he thought that I would attempt something stupid and not be able to come back and laugh about it.

“I’ll just take a stroll,” I smile politely as he places a tie around my neck.

Feeling his touch made me rather uneasy.

Even after all these years, I kept on missing Diane, her touch, her laugh, her voice. Everything felt like a faraway dream that I didn’t want to wake up from.

Michael finishes dressing me as my eyes wander through the extremely cold and empty room.

A small sigh manages to escape my body. I was aware that this was nothing more but the harsh reality and that, eventually, I had to learn to accept it but, even then, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“I would like to be alone,” I turn the doorknob and head towards the back entrance of the mansion.

 

The birds were chirping loudly, announcing the beginning of Seedling in the world. A cold breeze blew, pushing my curly ginger hair back harshly.

Slowly, I walk towards the high grey stone wall that surrounded part of the estate.

‘Good, it’s still here…!’ my eyes glimmer with excitement as I notice the medium-sized wooden chest on the floor, hidden behind a couple of large bushes.

My hands insert the key and, a couple of seconds later, a “click” is heard and the recipient unlocks. Inside there was a large cape, made of rather cheap materials and, beside it, a small bag filled with some silver and gold coins.

I focus my attention on the large obstacle in front of me: the barrier. My fingers begin touching the stones close to the floor and soon they find the one I had been working on.

‘Here…!’ a smile appears on my lips as I notice the movable stone.

I grab its edges and pull it with all my strength. Eventually, after several failed attempts, it falls off and I crouch right before walking through it.

 

The scent of freedom filled my nostrils as the feeling of being released became the guide in the depths of my mind.

Quickly, I began running and laughing. Everything felt different, the grass, the trees, the wind. It was as if I had never seen them this way, as if, right now, they were the most beautiful they ever were.

I manage to walk towards a side road. The floor was filled with dry dirt and several bugs crawled from one side to the other.

The sound of galloping is heard, and, in the distance, I spot an old man with a horse-drawn wooden wagon. Immediately, I place myself in the dirt course and stretch my arms widely.

“Woah!” the man says loudly, and the horses stop. He glares at me with his small eyes, hidden behind several layers of wrinkles, “Let me through boy.”

“Please take me to the capital!” I yell right before bowing down.

“That’s gonna cost you, kid,” his voice was extremely rough as if someone had messed up his vocal cords.

“I can pay you!” quickly, I straighten myself and take the small cloth bag that held all my saved-up coins. His eyes widen in surprise right before observing me from head to toe.

“Come on, we don’t have all day,” he declares, and I sit next to him.

The horses begin to walk once again and soon we pass through my father’s mansion, leaving it behind until it was nothing more than a mere mirage.

 

“What is a noble doing outside?” as we passed through a lake, the man questions me.

“I-I’m not a…” as I was about to speak, I am interrupted by the horses stopping in their place. The old man had pulled the reins and was now staring deeply into my eyes.

“Don’t bullshit me, kid, no peasant can buy a suit like that, unless we suck someone noble’s cock,” his words were harsh.

‘Should I…?’ I didn’t want to tell him who I was or what I intended to do but my gut was telling me I had no other choice. I had to give him some kind of information, no matter what it was.

“I just wanted to see the capital,” I answer, and he smirks. He moves the reins and the horses continue galloping.

“What’s your name?” I gulp, “I’m Albert.”

“Larry,” I avert my eyes. Disclosing my real name would only give me trouble.

 “Larry… Fancy name you made up,” his brown eyes glare at me as he spotted all of my lies, “I would lose the tie and the jacket.”

“What?” my eyes widen at his statement.

‘Lose my tie? And my jacket…?’ I look down and begin to try to understand what he meant.

“Rip your shirt too,” he proceeds, “And then roll in the dirt several times.”

“Roll in the dirt!? Why!?” in the spur of the moment, my voice grows louder, and the man stretches his arms upwards before leaning towards me.

“Do I smell like roses to you?” the stench of sweat and other smells I couldn’t begin to describe fill my nostrils, making me want to throw my guts out. Seeing my expression, he begins laughing loudly, as if this was the most amusing scenario he had seen in a while.

“Definitely not…” I squeeze the nose with my fingers before the man turns around and moves back to his place.

“If you want to blend in you need to get your hands dirty kid,” he spits the piece of hay he was chewing and removes another one from the back of the open wooden wagon.

His mouth makes loud sounds with every bite mixed with saliva. Part of me felt bothered by the squishing sounds.

“If you don’t stop acting like that, a man tasting hay will be the least of your problems, get it princess?” he closes his right eye while glaring at me with a smirk on his lips.

“Alright,” steadily I open my cape and remove the jacket right before taking off the bow tie.

“Toughen up boy,” his large hand hits my back several times making me lose my balance and lean forward.

‘How does he have this much strength!?’ I couldn’t believe this ancient man was more powerful than me and my brothers combined.

I open my shirt, making several buttons fall off.

“That’s it!” he laughs obnoxiously loud.

 

An hour and a half pass and we finally reach our destination.

“How much do you…?” my hands were rambling through the small cloth bag but they are quickly covered by his. He shook his head and I smiled.

“Good luck kid,” I jump down the wagon, “Try not to fuck it up.”

He then waved the reins, and the horses began galloping once again. His laugher echoed as he disappeared in the distance.

 

“Diane… I’m finally here!” I mumble as my soul becomes tainted with excitement, “I’m finally…!”

One of my brightest memories was the promise we had made. She was supposed to take me to the capital, show me all the fun places and allow me to learn about the world but, sadly, fate had different plans.

I wanted to come to Astin sooner, but my father never allowed it. He would keep me and my brothers under tight watch, only letting us leave the estate when necessary.

Truthfully, I had seen the capital a couple of times, but I was never able to truly witness its beauty. My eyes were always covered by a layer of glass and a barrier of precious goods prevented me from leaving.

Sometimes, whenever I was being taken away in a carriage, I would think about running away. I didn’t know where, but a destination was nothing more than a triviality.

I inhale deeply and relax my body. I didn’t want to ruin the only change I’d gotten to leave like this.

 

My eyes begin to wander through the capital, Astin.

People filled the streets, walking back and forth, left, and right, searching for their destination. Shops of any type of goods and services were exposed and the sweet essence of chocolate from a patisserie could be smelled from several meters away.

No matter how further I walked, people held smiles on their lips, and soon, I begin to hear the sound of music echoing in the air. A large group had gathered around three performers who sang and played instruments I’d never seen. Beside them, some commoners danced happily.

‘This is…’ the weight that had been on my chest all this time slowly began to lift.

“Mister, watch out!” a young boy, no older than thirteen was running towards me at an abnormal speed.

“What…?” I couldn’t even finish my sentence. His body bumps right into mine, making a large pain travel through my muscles.

“I’m sorry!” he shakes his head and quickly gets up right before speeding up and heading to a secluded street. Not even a couple of seconds later, a group of unfriendly men appears.

‘Is he being chased…?’ I wondered as I saw the men pass by me.

Their bodies were filled with scars and their clothing looked cheap yet strong.

‘Mercenaries?’ I thought as I began puzzling the pieces together, ‘Will he be alright?’

“I’m not a hero… I’m not a hero… I’m not…” I began walking in the opposite direction, but it didn’t take long for guilt to consume me, “Shit!”

Swiftly, I run towards the street and, soon after I see the men, surrounding the kid.

My attention wanders through the environment I had found myself in. The floor was a mixture between mud and dry dirt while, from time to time, a small plant began to attempt to thrive. On the other hand, the buildings surrounding the area looked poorly made, filled with flaws and some holes.

‘How can someone live like this…?’ I couldn’t begin to understand how some people called this filthy place a home. A feeling of disgust ran over me as my gut kept on telling me to go back and get away from this revolting place.

The men’s voices echoed loudly through the small streets.

“You have something that belongs to us,” a tall man with a large scar on his cheek declares.

“I don’t know what you are…!” the little boy begins to float as one of the mercenaries grabs his long dark hair.

“I’m sure you do brat,” swiftly, he throws him onto a wall, making the weak boy cough some saliva as his body hits the floor.

‘I’m not a hero… I’m…!’ I could feel my knees becoming weaker. I was terrified.

“I don’t…!” one of the men approaches him and punches him in his abdomen making him gasp for air.

“Stop!” I immediately cover my mouth. My legs were trembling as I anxiously waited for their reaction.

‘What did I do…’ the men turn around slowly while glaring at me with their cold-hearted eyes.

“And what are you to do about it, wuss?” the tall and large man approaches me with a grin on his thin lips.

“I…” my whole body was trembling as I struggled to maintain my strength.

Suddenly I see him push his arm back and, without any notice, his clenched fist heads towards my face. The moment it was about to touch it, I close my eyes and, unconsciously, leak something that should remain inside one’s body in this situation.

A gust of wind passes through my face, and I open my eyes slowly.

‘It doesn’t… hurt…?’ I see the mercenary smirk right before chuckling loudly.

“This kid just pissed himself!” his voice was loud and everyone began laughing, amused at my despair. I feel the leftover strength leave my body and my knees fall onto the muddy floor. Tears begin to gather around my eyes.

“Warner, this has become a habit, hasn’t it?” a young girl appears, with beautiful light brown hair and dark emerald eyes.

Her figure was thin, and her skin looked as appealing as honey. Despite being a girl dressed in a maid’s clothes while holding a single broomstick in her hand, her eyes were determined and resolute.

“Luana, always sticking your nose where you shouldn’t…” the mercenary leader replies with a smirk, “Get her.”

“You know you can’t win…” she chuckles right before five men dash towards her.