[An offer?]
A common negotiating strategy means that two parties can only agree to an "offer" if both sides have something to give.
In the situation she was in she didn't have anything of "worth" to give Yooma.
Naturally, she was very suspicious.
"What kind of offer," she asked very plainly, trying to betray none of her emotions.
Yooma sighed "Look, I know it doesn't make sense, but you don't have to be so tense"
Apparently, her efforts to hide her emotions had failed
"I don't like to see woman and children be killed"
Kotori was shocked, she would've taken Yooma to be someone who had a blind adherence to the law instead of this old fashion value system
[So he does have a soft side]
"A girl as young as you shouldn't try and act so old" he added
For once Kotori was happy she looked so young. It apparently had allowed her to garner sympathy.
"I assume you are all aware of the decline of adventurers," Yooma said
Kotori nodded.
"Well, we need more"
"What do you mean," Kotori asked
"Look," Yooma said "We don't have enough adventurers the collapse of guilds means that the kingdom is desperate for young blood"
[Ahh that's the problem]
Kotori had realized what Yooma was alluding to. It seemed that although the kingdom now had control over adventurers it also was hard for them to hire them.
[Well, that's self-inflicted anyway]
It would make sense that with a lack of guilds, collectivization of dungeons, and lack of support structure for new adventurers the kingdom would have a hard time finding new ones.
[How are you supposed to find promising talent if you can't even develop it]
Kotori thought about a certain sport in her past life. It was a very expensive sport and the best teams would only hire those who had already proven themselves. The sport declined because they could find any new recruits.
Kotori nodded knowingly
[Talent development is very important indeed umu*]
*thinking sound use in Japanese light novels
Yooma walked over and quickly knocked on the door.
The door opened once again and two shapes barged in.
Shu and Umi who were once separated from Kotori now desperately ran to her side once again.
"A token of goodwill" Yooma said,
[wait is he balding?] Kotori thought in an unrelated manner
Despite his movement in the sewers Yooma actually looked quite old. Kotori who had been unable to get a look at Yooma earlier now saw the visage of a tired old vaguely Asian looking man. He was starting to look and sound like a used car salesman. It seemed despite his dislike of killing women and children the Faramouth kingdom really DID need new adventurers to fill out their rank and he was quite intent on getting them to join.
He really looks like an old Japanese salaryman. Although Yooma was a brave person on the battlefield it seemed he was also quite a timid person outside of it.
[No wonder they hired a person like him in the first place]
Honest adventurers would likely be indignant over the fact that the profession was on the decline but Yooma honestly just seemed like he wanted a comfortable life.
[Ah I used to be like that] Kotori thought reflecting on her time in the afterlife
[It would be nice to go back one day.]
Yooma seemed uncomfortable with the silence that was caused by Kotori's reflecting.
"If... you become an adventurer you become above the law in some aspects so we can ignore some of the laws you may have broken before. I can smooth things over with the earl here."
Kotori knew that this was not going to come free
"What do you want from me"
Now, Yooma's expression had changed from the timid man to back to the sleazy car salesman.
"Loyalty," He said
"you will swear fealty to the kingdom, we will put a slave collar on your partner over there to keep you in line."
[How bold] Kotori thought.
It seemed they had already thought of ways to keep her loyal
"In addition" Yooma continued "You will help our dungeons teams with your song skill"
[So that's why]
It seemed Yooma had discerned that Kotori's [Magical Musician] skill was distinct from the magical songs of most of the people.
This was something she had noticed already. The magical melodies her father taught her would allow her to imbue a spell with magic and it would perform a fixed outcome. Her magical musician skill would attempt to make her "will" into reality. It was a much more flexible skill than just memorizing songs.
Kotori could in essence be the bard for an entire party instead of need 2-3 for music diversity.
She nodded half-heartedly knowing that she didn't have much choice in the matter. She was still concerned about Amelie though
"Ahh don't worry!" Yooma said realizing Kotori's hesitation "we won't do anything to your companion"
[Well that settles it.]
Yooma quickly pulled out a thin metal collar with a small magic crystal embedded on it and installed it on Amelie. Amelie didn't struggle as the collar was put on her and activated. At first glance, it just looked like a silver choker but obviously, it was a tool meant to keep Kotori in line.
"There," Yooma said
"You are free to go, I will send you your assignments in a couple of days"
He knocked on the door once again and the door opened. Yooma gestured for them to leave. Kotori and Amelie quickly shuffled out of the room they had spent the greater part of the day in. A man who they assumed was their jailer gave them two sacks that contained their items and they left the prison building.
Taking the first breath of the fresh air after leaving the stuffy cell was bittersweet although they had avoided being executed they were now metaphorically shackled to this city. In an ironic twist of fate, Kotori and Amelie had become de facto adventurers at the cost of their freedom. It was quite literally golden handcuffs
They quickly made their way back to the inn. The innkeeper paid them no heed as their rooms were paid for the rest of the week.
Once they got back Amelie flopped onto the bed and became unresponsive.
[This must be tough] Kotori thought
Her first visit to the city had gone drastically worse than she had expected. Despite all the tribulations, Amelie had never voiced any complaints to Kotori even after they got caught smuggling which was initially Kotori's idea in the first place.
[I have to do something to make up with her] Kotori resolved.
She would get stronger and would free Amelie from the slave collar and get back at the kingdom that had chained her to them.
[Be careful not to wake the sleeping dragon] She thought
Random Author thoughts 3/16/21 ish
Hello! Usually, I put something silly here but I've been feeling rather pensive recently. I've been thinking about the nature of stories and why we tell them. In some aspects, it feels like generational memory and stuff but then why would we tell fun stories. I read quite a bit and I'm always disappointed I can't be transported to the amazing worlds the author constructs and wish I could know more. In some respects writing this novel has been extremely fun since I know what's going to happen. Still, it saddens me knowing I am creating rather than consuming and I wonder how my albeit small amount of readers when they see Kotori's journey. Anyway, this is dragging a bit. Thanks for keeping up with me and I hope you will be here for the hundreds of chapters to come.
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I've been quite enjoying the story but sometimes think kotori could have grown a bit older before leaving the village?
I really like the spirits and their growth, though:3
If nothing else, she could certainly do with some character development. As it stands, I feel like she's a bit too callous, and her actions are a bit too inconsistent with her stated goals. There seems to be no forward planning or consideration given to consequences, which is something I'd expect to see a bit more of after what happened to her family.
MC's an idiot. She gets caught in an obvious false flag operation, doesn't even bother to check the statuses of 90% of these people, blatantly ignores the "pawn" in the status box with all of it's implications, then sells her ONLY friend into slavery no questions asked? WHY? Your MC was supposed to be intelligent. She has literally thought nothing through this entire novel.
Clarification intelligence and wisdom are two different things.
But honestly, I agree and this has been a very valid criticism that I take into account now. My initial vision for Kotori is for her to be a bit of a sheltered airhead that slowly grows more competent. Unfortunately, in these earlier chapters, I did a poor job of plotting the beginning of this arc accounting for character motivations. I've been trying to do a better job in the following chapters so hopefully, you like the story more.
Yeah the MC is clearly a moron of biblical proportions. I’m starting to think the fact she cured cancer is just a delusion she has from being dropped on her head as a child or something. Not even a week out of the village and she’s got her friend sold into slavery on terms she didn’t bother asking about and had to swear fealty to what is obviously a bad kingdom who probably have evil nobility who’ll later use the fact her friend is a slave against her. Frankly she should just kill herself now and cut her losses on the karma debt. What sort of Karma reduction do you get for selling your friend into slavery? -1000000 maybe?
Agreed i mean look the bigger problem is the fact she has memories of her past life. This makes her look infinitely more stupid. If she simply had memories of the angel telling her to fix her karma or bad things will happen when she reincarnates again there'd be no problem with her character.
Also when even was the last time she got or lost karma?
I’m interested in the story, but also confused. Why wouldn’t you ask about the “terms” of the slavery? What can and can’t be done? What can they make you do? How long is it for? Why wouldn’t Amelie say anything? Why weren’t the decapitated members of the guard mentioned? Were they also slaves?
Why on earth are they only putting a slave collar on MC's friend? Why not put it on MC as well?
Lots of things here don't make much sense. Killing guards should be a serious problem and shouldn't be glazed over with pseudo labor.
If they are in need of new adventurers than let adventurers use dungeons. Why go through such a hassle to forcefully recruit people?
And why are they putting the slave collar on Amelia and not Kotori who they want to keep? Why not chain them both?
Pretty frustrating this arc
yep in the process of rewriting. To make it make a bit more sense. I wrote this arc when I was about to drop the novel TBH and then I got traction on scribblehub and here I am.
This comment is coming in well after chapter publication yeah, but since this is where I'm giving up on the story, I figured I'd chime in with some reasons and commentary.
The grammar isn't the best, even the ones that seem to have been gone back and read through from grammar errors. Honestly a minor nitpick overall from me personally, but you probably need a proofreader/editor.
Dialogue is a more major issue for me. Most of it comes across as very flat, or more to the point, rushed and stilted. It feels like exactly the amount of dialogue needed to do what the story needs and little else, which makes it feel unnatural.
The main reason I'm giving up is Kotori though, honestly. There's enough commentary on her lack of reasoning, so I won't go into that any more, but my main gripe is how her personality lately seems to be contrary to everything that's been set up. First off, she doesn't even consider her Karma any more, even when making cruel and callous decisions like murdering people. She doesn't even bother checking it after killing the bandits in earlier chapters? No hesitation in killing town guards who are only doing their job, something that should definitely be considered an evil act? Not to mention how her actions show she didn't learn anything about considering the consequences of what she does. It's just too off of everything that came before, and only serves to make her a genuine sociopath in doing so.
Good luck with your writing going forward.
SETUP! HE SET THEM UP! Ahhhhh Nooo Please No I want her to Kill Him! Do not make them friends! Yooma a POS he betrayed his Profession and the Guilds sold out to a king and hunted Young Adventurous! Now Put a Slave Collar on her Friend! I so so so Want her to kill him! We Need a rematch! And Yes this was Obviously a SETUP! How did he know she was COMING IN THROUGH THE SEWERS who told him?? HE SET THEM UP! I WANT THIS LYING SACK OF CRAP YOOMA To lose his Honor and take his own life with others laughing at him AS ALL HE LOVES DIES IN FIRE BEFORE HIS EYES! AND I WANT HER TO EAT HIS SOUL!..... AND By the way how's the weather. calming down. I am in my happy place happy place!
Oof I keep running into stories on here lately where the MC is forced into some kind of slavery. I think I should just stop reading g novels here for a while.
Honestly, this is entirely her fault and well...dumb;
1. She decided to do smuggling to get into a dungeon despite the fact that they had a dungeon in the village they left.
2. She smuggled despite as clearly shown in the previous chapters knowing what would happen when she would get caught.
3. She explored no other options, not trying to ask around, not gathering more information about dungeons just directly deciding to agree(Yeah I know you showed her acring but hell what even came form that.)
4. She has the memories of a genuis form her pervious life(Solved world hunger and all that) but she has used 0% of it.
5. What happened to her younger brother?(I might have missed that, tbh.)
6. Honestly the fact that she accepted the offer without investigating anything about the man himself.
7. And my biggest annoyance is when he showed the horn she accepted that as proof, you know he could have gone into a legal dungeon to get that right? And that would mean he just fooled then into smuggling for him and well after they smuggled that very well couldn't report that since they've become associates in crime.
And since I, a dumb fool from earth who hasn't solved world hunger(that too out of boredom) can guess that, she who is a genius I guess should be able to don't you think?
Anyway this is too much sorry I am dropping this novel since this supposedly genuis mc is just dumb as per plot demand.
No worries this is an arc that many people don’t like and honestly I hate but it’s way too much work to rewrite at this point
@Newfypuppie good luck with the future of your work