new beginnings
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new beginnings

by Silverty

 

 

Premise Tags: Modern Day,

Office Romance, Coming Out,

Family Affairs, Reunions, Forgiveness,

Pollen Allergies, FOOD, Slow Romance.

Content Warnings: Sadness, Coping,

Homophobic Traditionalism,

an unexpected display of affection.

 

 

“Achoo!”

“Bless you.”

“Thanks- achoo!”

“Bless you again.”

Joshua couldn’t even thank his colleague again as he sneezed three times in a row, his fair face turning red from the attack.

“Are you ok?” Dave’s eyebrows were raised in concern.

“I’m fi- achoo!”

“You don’t sound fine. Maybe you should take the rest of the day off.”

“It’s ok. Just some allergic reaction. It’ll calm down after a while… achoo!”

Dave frowned as he looked at Josh. He was panting now from all the exertion as he reached for a tissue to staunch his runny nose. “I think you’ve got hay fever. Go see a doctor for some meds.”

“I’m fine, honest!” Josh blinked his watery eyes as he looked at his immediate superior.

“I can’t have you sneezing and scaring the heck out of everyone. Take a break today and come back tomorrow with your allergy medication.” Dave turned and looked at the clock on the wall behind Josh. “Besides, it’s about an hour before we clock off anyway. Just go home.”

Joshua sighed and proceeded to turn his computer off. Normally he’d be ecstatic to go home early but that was before. After tidying his desk he thanked Dave and left. A fresh, cold wind greeted him when he exited the premise and he hunched his shoulders, wrapping his scarf a little tighter around his face. Stopping by the pharmacy, he bought the necessary medications to calm his symptoms, sneezing several times while he spoke to the pharmacist. The pharmacist gave him a sympathetic smile while she rang up his purchases. After thanking her, he could only trudge back home, unable to even enjoy the fresh air or blooming flowers because they aggravated his symptoms.

He couldn’t believe he’d succumbed to hay fever… he grew up in the tropics for crying out loud! But then again, remembering his torturous school days in front of the chalkboard, he supposed he shouldn’t have been that surprised. A short stature as a child plus poor eyesight that did not let him sit away from the blackboard equalled to his useless friends betting on how many times he’d sneeze for the day. Even a friend from the next class could hear him sometimes.

He sighed as he unlocked the door to his apartment. Removing his shoes, he stowed them away in the shoe cabinet before changing into his indoor slippers – old habits die hard. The room echoed when he tossed his keys on the side table by the door. This was why he didn’t want to go home. Without bothering to turn on the lights to the dim room, he removed and tossed his outer wear and satchel onto the sofa before shuffling into his room. 

It’d been three months since he moved here but that was the extent of the apartment space that he used. The area near the front door for his items and his en-suite bedroom. On weekends, he’d take every opportunity he could to get out and explore the city. He didn’t want to stay in an apartment that echoed. It gave him time to think, which he didn’t want. He’d argued with HR when they showed him the apartment.

“It’s too big.”

“Sorry, this is the smallest we could get within your budget.”

“Can’t we just save and get something smaller?”

“That’s not how it works.”

“But I’m saving you money!”

“Look, Joshua. I know you want a smaller house and all but if we did that, after you leave, we’re going to have a hell of a time convincing accounts when we want to get something bigger for the next guy. And audit might give us a hard time because the last guy was single and staying in a bigger place. Don’t make trouble for us.”

“But…”

“It’s not like we’re short changing you or anything. This is what you’re entitled to as one of our imported experts. Just take it and enjoy it. Besides, you’ll have plenty of room when your family comes over…”

Left with no choice, he had had to accept the overly large apartment that he didn’t want. It wasn’t as if his family would come visit anyway. He’d run away from his problems back home. The quarrel with his father back then had been all but a one-sided blowout. The angry words echoed in the empty room.

“Get out! You’re nothing but a disgrace! Get out!”

“Dad!”

“Do you know that the neighbours are talking? Where do you want me to put my face huh?”

“Pa…” His quiet mother had tried to intervene.

“You be quiet! You don’t even dare to go out to the market anymore! Why are you still trying to defend him?”

“He’s still your son…”

“I don’t have a son like him! Liking men! You’re worse than your sister! What did I do wrong to be punished with children like you! Get out!”

 With that, he’d been unceremoniously chased out of the family home. Josh didn’t bother to pack anything. He’d been living outside for many years by then and his room back home was nothing more than a place to sleep when he went back to see his parents. There’d been a sense of detachment by then; his was a typical Asian family with a breadwinner – absent – father and stay-at-home mother. He and his sister were close but she’d left the house after his father disapproved of her then gwailo fiancé. She’d shrugged, said that women were married out anyway and didn’t step foot in the family home after that.

She was actually pretty close to him right now; only a two hour flight away, as opposed to the twenty hour one from before. But he still hadn’t gone to see her. He’d promised that he would but he kept making excuses. He had a feeling he would break down when he saw the big sister that had always had his back. Josh had refused to admit it but his father’s rejection back then had hurt. 

He hadn’t been sure that he liked men then but he just knew that he didn’t like women. Blame it on his upbringing; he studied in an all-boys school all the way to university with the explicit warning from his parents that it was his duty to study and not fool around. By the time he got to university, he was shy and awkward around the bright, giggly girls that he preferred being alone or hanging out with his male friends. It got better when he entered the working world but again, he’d been so focused on building his career that thoughts of lovers and family were tossed to the far end of his ‘to-do’ list. Lying on his bed, Josh sighed as he remembered the situations and conversations that had brought it all crashing down.

“Yammmmmmm seng!” It was at a wedding of one of his old school mates.

“Come on, drink up.” his rowdy crew were forcing another glass of whiskey down the groom’s throat, despite the good-natured protests from him and his bride. Everyone had been in a good mood and even after the wedding dinner, they decided to go for another round of drinks, seeing how long ago they had gotten together.

“So, you should be next, Josh! When are we going to get the card?”

Joshua had only smiled quietly when they asked. He was one of the last and between him and his other friend, everyone thought that he had better chances of settling down.

“Idiot! Why is it Josh next? Why can’t it be me?”

“When you earn big money like Josh, drive a fancy car like him, then you can get married.” His friends were bantering with one another.

“Weh, I already have a girlfriend. I should be next what?”

“That’s true. Hey Josh, what about you?”

He had smiled again, shrugging his shoulders. “When you earn big money and drive a fancy car like me, where got time to get a girlfriend?”

“Are you serious bro? The girls should be lining up to date you. Do you know? My mother has talked my ears off about you. How you’re so successful and all. Now I look like a useless bum compared to you.”

“No la. I just got lucky.” He was down playing his achievements and joking with his friends when one of his old classmates looked at him in the eye and asked. “Josh, you’re not gay, are you?”

The boisterous, half-drunk group immediately quieted down, all of them with incredulous looks on their face. Josh was immediately flustered.

“Choi! What nonsense are you talking about?”

“I had to ask. Look, even Fatty’s gotten married.” He pointed at their overweight friend to the sounds of his indignant “Oi!”

 “And Lim might not have gotten married yet but at least he’s got a girlfriend. We’ve never seen you with any other girl except your sister.”

“Just because I don’t have a girlfriend you call me gay? What kind of friend are you?”

“Don’t get angry la. I’m just asking out of concern. If you want, I can introduce some girls to you. Even my sister is interested in you. Be my brother for real la.” So that had been the reason… Everyone burst into laughter but Josh could not calm down. Was he really gay? He’d never even thought about it. So he agreed to meet with his friend’s sister. It was better to quash any rumours straight away. But they never clicked. She was fun loving and liked to hang out at happening places while Joshua preferred to be at home with his books. After a few dates, he decided to tell her the truth, hoping that she’d understand. She was rather insulted and had shouted at him at the restaurant.

“So you’re really gay like my brother said?! Why the hell did I waste my time with a freak like you?” 

She had left in a huff and the damage was done. Someone started spreading rumours that he wasn’t straight and his friends started getting awkward around him. The gossip came back to his parents which culminated in the falling out with his father. When he was offered the post in the main branch overseas, he’d jumped at the offer and never looked back. He hadn’t even bothered to tell his parents, only informing his sister in case she made a missing person’s report. And now, he was where he was, in an empty apartment that was too big for him, in a country as far from the familiar as possible, nursing an empty, disappointed heart. And a bad allergy attack; he was hit with another wave of sneezing that hurt his chest when he was done. Massaging his chest and trying to breathe, he got out of bed and went to get his medication. Realizing that he needed to eat something before he could take the antihistamines, he looked ruefully at his empty fridge and spotless kitchen. The day just couldn’t get any worse.

 

 

✿✿✿

 

 

“I’m glad your allergies are getting better. But you look much thinner now.”

“I just don’t have any appetite.” Josh shrugged. 

“Yeah, but you still need to eat.”

Josh groaned and put his head on the table. “Rice! I want rice! I’d kill for a good plate of fried rice right now…” Most of the food he’d been having were either too dry, too rich or too greasy. It had been fine initially but four months in, he was hankering for his mother’s home cooked meal; even if he hadn’t tasted it for nearly half a year.

“I know a good place.” A voice he didn’t recognize spoke up. He looked up to see a tall white guy with blond brown hair and light brown eyes looking at him, smiling at his antics.

“Oh, hey, Josh. You haven’t met Erick yet. He’s one of our IT engineers. Until last year, he was at your country’s branch, actually. Erick, this is Joshua, the regional sales and development analyst.” Dave made the introductions.

Josh frowned, trying to recollect if he’d met this man before. He’d been with the company for five or so years already after all.

“I don’t think we’ve met. I was always stuck at my seat the whole time trying to get the system up and running.”

“I remember… everyone was cursing HQ for insisting we switch to that buggy system…” he paused, abashed. “Sorry…”

“It was a buggy system.” Erick shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, everyone’s gotten used to the system now and they’ll admit that it’s more efficient.” Josh tried to be diplomatic.

“Don’t be too happy too soon.” Erick gave a small smile. “The contract’s expiring soon and there’s talks of getting a different system, since everyone was complaining about it.”

There were groans all over the office floor. No one wanted to learn another new system. It took forever.

“Hey, don’t get too down. The contract’s still got a few more years to go, so it won’t be anytime soon.”

“Let’s hope I retire before they do…” an older colleague muttered gloomily. It lightened the mood and everybody had a good laugh. Josh turned back to Erick and smiled, pushing his slightly skewed glasses back into place.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I know a pretty good Chinese place. The fried rice there is good.”

Josh turned to him, his eyes shining. “Really? Let’s go there for lunch!” 

Dave shook his head and looked at Erick “Did you want something?”

“Oh yeah, someone was complaining that they were having problems extracting the data for their sales team. I tried troubleshooting over the phone. We both gave up.”

“Ah, Erick, over here.” another colleague waved and Erick walked over to that cubicle. Josh stared at the lean and firm body; for an IT specialist, he was quite toned. He shrugged and got back to work. After a while, he leaned back and stretched.

“Done?” a voice from out of the blue startled him.

“Whoa!” he turned to see Erick smiling at him.

“Are you done? It’s lunch time, let’s go.”

That was when Josh looked at the clock and realized he was right. “Crap! Sorry! Were you waiting all this while?” he rushed to tidy his things and save his data.

“No problem. I didn’t want to bother you when you’re working.” Erick was leaning patiently against the low cubicle partition while he waited.

“Done! Let’s go… Dave? Want to join us?” It wouldn’t do to not invite his friend and boss from his unit. Dave who was on the phone pointed at his lunch bag and waved them away. Josh and Erick gave him a smile and walked out of the office together.

“His wife must have made that, as usual.”

“So he doesn’t go out for lunch with you?”

“Normally no. I think he’s been warned to watch his diet.”

“Dave? Seriously?”

“Yeah. He always looks at the boiled chicken like he’s going to die.” Josh smiled at the memory.

“But there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with him.”

“Crunch time is a big bucket of stress, actually, and his wife was nagging him by saying if he didn’t look after his health now, it’d be too late for regrets when anything happened.”

“Wow…” 

They exited and Josh happily took in a deep breath. The meds were a godsend and he could actually function normally as long as he took them.

“Where to?”

“This way.” Josh followed the taller man as he led him past several blocks and was surprised to see a small Chinese restaurant tucked in between a butchery and a supermarket. He had not been down this road, actually, seeing as it specialized in mostly produce. He had not bothered to explore it, preferring to go to the other eateries his colleagues had brought him to. He sighed with regret; it was actually so close to the office.

“You’ve never been here before, I take it?”

“No, I didn’t know there was a restaurant here.”

“But surely you come here to buy some groceries now and then? The bread there is really good and cheap.” He pointed to a bakery near the corner.

Josh gave a wry smile. “I don’t cook much…”

“Anyway, let’s go in.” Erick gave an understanding smile.

They entered and were seated after a while. Thanks to Josh’s delay, they had to wait for an empty table. But looking at the steady number of customers in the tiny eatery got his hopes up.

“We’ll have a plate of fried rice, the cashew chicken and a stir-fried vegetable.” Erick looked at Josh. “Anything else?”

“Is there anything spicy?”

“Add one chilli fried beef. And a pot of tea.” He smiled and handed the menu back to the waiter.

“You come here often?”

“Yeah… it can’t compare to some of the hawkers in your country but it can fix a craving now and then.”

“How long were you there anyway?”

“Two, two and half years, give or take.”

“Wow. It must’ve been hard on you.”

“Not really. When all’s said and done, the weather there was better than here. And don’t get me started on the food.”

“Yeah… I miss the food back home too.”

Erick looked surprised. “Don’t you cook?”

There was an awkward pause. “I can’t cook.” It was hard to look dignified when he was admitting a simple fault like that.

“Not a single thing?”

“I’ve been known to burn eggs before. And there was that one time I wanted to make cup noodles but forgot that I had left the kettle on the fire… I scorched my mum’s kettle and got a lifetime ban…” he rubbed his head in embarrassment.

“Don’t tell me you’re the type to add soap when you wash the rice…”

“Of course not! I’m not that stupid…” there was a pause and Erick leaned forward to try and catch Josh’s mumbling.

“Sorry?”

“Mumble mumble mumble…”

“I still didn’t catch that…”

“I said half the rice ends up in the sink when I rinse it.” His face was as red as the tablecloth before him. Erick didn’t say anything, his hand solemnly over his mouth and chin. But Josh could see that his shoulders were shaking, even in the dim light.

“Go ahead and laugh…” He’d been resigned to it, actually.

“Pfft… sorry… it’s mean of me…” He couldn’t continue as his shoulders kept shaking.

Josh turned to look at the plain décor of the shop while he waited for Erick to regain his composure. 

“Ok, sorry about that.” Erick took a sip of tea and faced Josh with a serious look on his face.

Josh shrugged. “I grew up with my mother preparing all my meals. And she was the type to kick me out of the kitchen when I was younger. I was better off studying than to step in and track grease all over the house, she said.”

“But you must have learned when you left the house, right?”

“I got busy with work and why learn when there’s a restaurant every other shop?”

“That’s true…”

“I took it all for granted… my own fault.” He could only give himself a self-deprecating smile.

“Tell you what, as an apology, let me make you a home cooked meal. The kind you’d find when you’re in your country.”

“You can cook?” Josh was impressed.

“Yeah, a man’s gotta eat. And eating out here is a killer to the wallet…” Unlike back home. Josh could only nod in agreement. He was starting to feel the pinch. They chatted about inconsequential matters until the food arrived. Like Erick promised, it was good. After four months in a faraway country, Josh’s homesickness was assuaged a little with just a bowl of rice. They argued over who would foot the bill, finally agreeing that Josh would pay this time, since Erick had been the one to recommend the place. 

On the way back, they stopped at the bakery that Erick had pointed out. As Josh sniffed the freshly baked bread and muffins that he bought, he couldn’t keep the contentment out of his heart. The budding trees swaying in the spring breeze seemed to agree. The rest of the day was going to be good.

 

 

✿✿✿

 

 

Josh tidied his hair in the mirror and got ready to leave. As promised, Erick had invited him over to his place for a meal today. Josh had been surprised by how well the both of them had got along; despite having just met each other, they found that they had a lot of things in common. All in all, he was looking forward to the meal with him. Just as he was about to pick up his keys to go, his phone rang. He paused when he looked at the number. It was his mother. Taking a deep breath, he picked up the call.

“Hello?”

“Hello? Son?”

“Yes, Ma?”

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. And you?”

“I’m fine too… so is your father.”

There was a silence.

“Was there something you wanted, Ma?”

“Ah, right. You couldn’t make it back to the spring festival the other day. Are you coming back any time soon?”

Josh paused. He’d forgotten about the Lunar New Year until he passed by Chinatown and saw all the red decorations there. He remembered telling his sister he wasn’t able to get time off to visit her either. He’d treated the once special holiday like any other day. The sense of detachment cushioning any sentimental feelings he might have had for that day.

“I don’t think so. Work is still busy and I’m not sure when I can get some days off.”

“Oh…” The distance and irregular internet connection could not hide the disappointment in his mother’s voice. Suddenly he could hear his father’s angry voice. 

“Why are you still calling that useless thing?! I told you I had no son!”

“Pa…” there was a beep and his mother had disconnected the call. Josh stared at the phone, wondering if his parents had purposely called to open all the wounds that he had thought were scabbed over. He numbly stowed his phone in his pocket, picked up his keys and left his empty, echoey apartment.

“Hey, you’re just in time.” Erick greeted him with a smile as he opened the door. 

“Thanks. This is a nice place you have here.” he admired the apartment as he walked in.

“Haha, thanks. It’s a little small though.” Erick went to the kitchen area to check on the dish in a pot.

“No way, it’s perfect for a single person.” He stood in front of the balcony and admired the city skyline from there. Erick had kept the design simple and understated with wooden floors and furniture and a mix of neutral and cool tones. The huge windows let in a lot of light, which Josh loved. Maybe he should open the curtains to his living room instead of keeping it in the dark.

“Food’s ready. Come sit.”

Josh turned to see Erick setting out the cutlery. He hurried over to help. He had been really surprised by the spread: Lotus root and peanut soup with pork ribs, garlic stir-fried greens, silken tofu with minced meat and sweet and sour fish fillets. It really reminded him of home.

“You made all this?” he looked at Erick in awe. They were about the same age after all; why was it that he couldn’t even fry an egg properly?

“It’s nothing. I’ll make fish head curry next time. When I can get a good fish head.”

“When did you get the time to learn all this?” he remembered how flawed the new system had been during set-up.

“A little here and there. Alice, the boss’ PA loved teaching me simple recipes when she knew I was interested to learn. The rest I picked it off of the local cooking shows.”

“I don’t believe this… Look, you even know how to add red dates to the soup!”

“Alice taught it to me that way. I just followed the recipe.” Erick gave Josh a helpless look as he served him a bowl of rice.

Josh inhaled the steam from the rice and looked at all the dishes, unable to decide what to start with first. So he did what he had been doing since he was a kid and started with the soup. It was light and fragrant and tasted just like how his mother made it.

“It’s good.”

“I’m glad. Drink some more- Josh?!” Erick had looked at Josh and was shocked to see tears rolling down his face.

“I’m…” He touched his face, surprised to find it wet. “Haha, why am I crying? It’s just good soup...” The tears wouldn’t stop as they rolled down his chin and dappled his jeans. It had not been intentional but when he tasted the soup, he was reminded of his family. His strong, sunshiny sister, his sweet and gentle mother, his strict but fair father. They weren’t the closest of people but they were family. And now, he couldn’t go back. The call from his parents earlier had already weakened his defences and now, a simple bowl of soup had broken it.

With no care for dignity anymore, he cried. He cried the hurt he had been carrying, the loneliness, the anger and isolation. He could take a lot of punishment and not show a single care on his face but an ounce of kindness and friendship had warmed his withered heart and he could not stop the floodgates. After a while, the tears dried and he was finally calm.

“Better?” Joshua jerked his head. He had forgotten about Erick. 

“Sorry about that…” He removed his glasses and wiped his swollen, red eyes with the palm of his hand.

“Go wash your face.” Erick pointed to the bathroom. Josh nodded and got up. After closing the door, he leaned against it and took a deep breath. It was embarrassing but Josh was surprised by how much he had needed that. Having kept his feelings repressed for so long, it was refreshing to be able to vent. He gave his face a rueful look. Red eyes and nose, blotchy complexion and wet from either tears or snot. He took off his glasses again and washed his face, letting the cold water cool his heated face. He paused, realizing that he didn’t have a handkerchief on him. He was too embarrassed to use Erick’s towel that was hanging there. As if reading his thoughts, there was a knock on the door.

“Josh? I thought you might need a towel.”

He gratefully opened the door and accepted the face towel that was proffered.

“Thanks.”

“Let’s eat. The food’s getting cold.”

He nodded and they sat back down. After having vented, Josh’s half dead appetite was revived with a vengeance. He enjoyed everything, asking for seconds, then thirds. When all the dishes had been picked clean, he offered to help with the dishes but it was obvious he wasn’t very good at them.

“It’s fine. I’ll toss them in the dishwasher after this.” Erick finally intervened when he saw how much Josh was struggling with it. 

“Sorry… the most my mother made me do was bring my own plate to the sink.” He was embarrassed by how dependent he was on his mother for the household chores.

“No big deal. I got used to it when I was there. Sit down, I’ll bring some tea over.” A perfect way to finish a hearty meal like that. He sat on the balcony, enjoying the breeze and watching the clouds pass by.

“Here.” Erick placed a tray with a Chinese tea set on the glass table and poured him a cup.

Josh picked up the cup and savoured the tea inside. It smelt and tasted like Pu’er. He was also surprised by how calm and quiet Erick was despite his earlier breakdown.

“You’re not going to ask me anything?”

Erick looked at Josh and shrugged “We’ve only met a few times. I get it if you don’t want to talk about it.”

It was this laid back attitude that made Josh want to confide in him. Throwing caution to the wind, he told him the whole story. 

“So you’re not even sure if you like guys?”

“It had never even occurred to me that I could. I was just never interested in girls. That was all.”

“Are you curious to find out?” there was a gleam in his eyes but Josh, who was looking at his teacup never noticed.

“I don’t know. I’ve been on this crazy roller coaster since half a year ago. Now I just want to calm down again and think about it later.”

“Take your time. Your heart will know when you’re ready.”

Josh gave Erick a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

“No, thank you for trusting me.”

When Josh left Erick’s apartment, he felt better than he had been in a long time. He stretched as he looked at the setting sun and walked to the subway with a smile. Tomorrow will be a new day.

 

 

✿✿✿

 

 

“Did you get fat?”

“That’s no way to greet your sister.”

“Sorry about that. But you do look fatter.”

“I can’t help it. Your niece is making me crave everything and Marc doesn’t stop me at all.”

“It’s a girl?” a smile bloomed on Josh’s face.

“Yes! Mama is so excited she hasn’t stopped knitting. She says it’ll be just in time when the baby comes.” But his sister’s smile faded as she thought of something.

“Are you going to forgive Pa?”

“There’s nothing to forgive.”

“Joshy…” She used his pet name. 

“Sis, stop. Dad never bothered to ask if it was true. He just threw me out.”

“I know but you know he’s always had a short temper…”

“He threw you out too, if I recollect correctly.”

“Yes, but when I told Ma that I was pregnant, she’s been calling me every other day and nagging at Pa too. You know, she was really heartbroken at the last spring festival. Both of us weren’t there. The reunion dinner was so lonely she cried.”

When he imagined his aging parents sitting around a table laden with dishes but only the two of them, his heart was filled with guilt. He was still sending money home, banking it into his mother’s account. He never forgot his duties as a son; he just didn’t want to see or talk to them. 

“Jo, stop. I don’t want to see them at the moment.” He never called his sister by her name, treating it as a sign of respect to her seniority. But when he did, Joana knew she crossed the line.

“If you’re gay, you’re gay. If you’re not, you’re not. You don’t have to live by anybody else’s rules. All I want for my little brother is for him to be happy. And if I can reconcile my stubborn family members, bonus points for me.”

Josh looked at his sister exasperatedly over the phone.

“You know, I didn’t regret leaving home to be with Marc, even when I had to be in a totally unfamiliar place. At least he and his family welcomed and loved me. But when I got pregnant, I realized that I didn’t want my child to lose out on the other family that she could have. That was why I called home.” She smiled at him. “She can have her steaks and her stews but she shouldn’t miss out on the dim sum and noodles!”

Josh had never seen his sister like this. She’d always been a headstrong, rebellious one. She questioned her role in the household and was not satisfied to play second fiddle to him just because she was a girl. So she had gone out and raked all the awards and achievements before he could. She challenged everything and proved that a daughter was not less than a son. She was his role model. Now, when she was thinking about her child, she had the softest smile he had ever seen. Did having a child really change her that much?

“Maybe when I’ve learned to accept myself then I’ll call home.” That was the best compromise he could offer.

Joana’s smile got bigger. “Fine. Let me know then. We’ll go home together.” That was his sister; always looking out for him. She looked away from the phone as she heard her name being called. “I’ve got to go. Marc’s calling. Come over for a visit, I can’t go to you for the time being.”

“All right, all right… the baby hasn’t been born and you’re this naggy. Are you going to compete with Ma?” he teased.

“Cheeky!” and the phone was disconnected.

Josh leaned back against the sofa and sighed. He spoke to his sister now and then and knew her love and concern for him was as before. She never treated him any different and he was grateful. But her pushing for him and his father to make amends was stifling. He was still aggrieved over his father’s actions, in his attempts to save face. Those words could not be taken back and he was not magnanimous enough to just forgive him, even if he was the younger. 

“Tired?” Erick appeared from the kitchen with a mug of coffee in each hand. Josh smiled at him and accepted the mug offered to him. Since the breakdown, they hung out with each other now and again. Josh had also asked Erick to teach him how to cook. So every other weekend, he would come over to Josh’s apartment. Josh had finally mastered frying eggs and making omelettes. He was learning some simple stir-fries and getting better at it. His kitchen which initially only housed a fridge, microwave and electric kettle now contained more and more appliances, pots, pans and dinnerware since the two friends would go out and buy things for Josh’s apartment. 

Spring had long left and they were midway into a rather muggy summer. Josh had his balcony doors open to let both the light and breeze in. The apartment that he had thought too big was just right now; he’d bought some house plants to decorate the room and when Erick found out that he had admired his home’s décor, he had brought Josh to his favourite places, allowing him to buy and personalize his home. It felt homey and lived in. The days of him pulling overtime for no reason were gone but Dave was crying because he couldn’t persuade Josh to keep him company in the office outside crunch time anymore.

No, Josh would rather spend it with Erick. With so many things in common, the two of them always had something to talk about. And even when all they were doing was spend time together in each other’s place, there had never been any discomfort. They were just at ease in each other’s space. There were different interests as well though. Erick was a fitness buff and Josh loved making stuff with his hands. So when they decided to do things that didn’t match, they did it alone or with others. It was never one of those forced friendships where one had to conform to everything the other party liked to be accepted; they had times when they enjoyed being together and they had times when they did their own things away from each other.

It was a comfortable sort of friendship but there were times when Josh wondered if there was something more. He wondered time and again if he was falling for Erick but his heart came up confused. Yes, he did like him best among his acquaintances here but no, he did not feel like sleeping with him. No, he did not mind the sometimes excessive skinship but yes, he minded if they caused a scandal at the office. All in all, the only answer he could come up with was: he didn’t know.

“Yeah… my sister was nagging at me to call my parents again.” He sipped the aromatic coffee and sighed, the taste of the freshly ground beans lost to him. He continued to lean back against the sofa, lost in thought.

“Hey, the other day when I was at the Asian market, I found something good.” Erick changed the subject, hoping to distract him.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I brought it over earlier. I’m amazed you didn’t realize.”

“Really?” 

“But then again, I had to wrap it up really well or they wouldn’t let me on the train.”

Josh had a feeling he knew what Erick was referring to. They had been talking about it just a few days ago. He couldn’t believe his friend had found some so soon.

“You actually found some?”

“Yeah. But you wouldn’t have recognized it anyway. They removed all the thorns and it looked like a sorry white ball.” 

Josh nearly leapt out of the sofa. He hurriedly put his cup on the table and ran to the kitchen, a smile spreading on his face. He opened the fridge and whooped with joy when he found the fruit Erick was referring to.

“Durian!” it had been ages since he had had some; even when he was back home he hadn’t had any, considering a whole fruit too much.

“Yup. Want to open it now?”

“Yes!” he looked like a kid in a candy store. One could almost see him hopping around in excitement. Erick smiled and grabbed a knife to pry the fruit open.

“It won’t be as good as the ones we get by the roadside in season but it will have to do.”

The fruit was opened to reveal the creamy, pungent flesh. Erick was right about it not being the same but durian was durian. He grabbed one and immediately stuffed it into his mouth.

“Mmmmmm...” he relished the soft, mildly sweet flavour. The smell was nowhere near a turnoff, reminding him of his childhood instead.

“Eat as much as you want, the rest you can freeze. They’ll keep.” Erick smiled indulgently at him. Josh pouted, picked up a piece of the fruit and stuffed it into Erick’s mouth.

“Have some too. Food’s always better when it’s shared.”

Erick smiled and enjoyed the fruit together with Josh. It wasn’t a very big fruit but it was enough to stave off a craving. When they were done, Josh was back at the sofa, leaning back into it again.

“That was so goodddddddd.” He gave a little burp, satisfied with their snack.

“Here.” Erick gave him a glass of water.

Josh looked at him. 

“Salt water, to remove the heatiness.” 

“You even know this home remedy.” He grumbled as he drank the saline solution.

“I didn’t believe it at first but the day after I didn’t listen to Alice and her husband, I came down with a bad sore throat. I’ve been a believer ever since.”

Josh had to smile at that. He remembered when he hadn’t taken his salt water either. He lost his voice and was coughing terribly for three days. He never had that problem when he did so he saved himself the trouble and just drank the salt water whenever he did have durians. An ounce of prevention beats a pound of cure any day. He finished the liquid and handed the glass back to Erick, who took it to the kitchen. A warm summer day, a cooling breeze, a full stomach; all the elements to make a person drowsy. Without realizing, he dozed off.

He felt something tickle his cheek. The feather light movements trailed downwards and brushed against his lips. Was that a fly? With his eyes closed, he swiped his hand to chase it away. He didn’t expect to hit something large and warm. On instinct, his fingers closed and he grasped the object that had grazed his lips. He opened his eyes to see Erick’s hand in his, the other man looking a little shocked and flustered. There was already a blush tinting his cheeks. Josh was just as shocked and he dropped the hand in his grip.

“I- I… sorry…” Erick hung his head down in shame. Joshua was amused; it was not often that he saw anything but a calm, collected Erick. To see him this nervous was a new experience.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I told you that you should take your time. I wanted to give you that time…”

“So you’re gay?”

“Yeah. I came out years ago. My family knows but I never informed the office.”

“Oh. Is that why didn’t you tell me?”

“That’s not it. I liked you as a friend first. I gradually got attracted to you but I don’t want to force you into anything you don’t want. You’ve said it before, you’re not sure about your orientation. I just want you to like me willingly.”

“And if I had decided that I was straight and wanted to marry a woman?”

“Then you’d just be a friend and maybe we’d gradually drift apart.”

Maybe Erick had already gone through that before. Maybe there was some hidden story somewhere but Josh would respect Erick’s privacy, just like what he had done for him. When the time was right, Erick would tell him. The usually comfortable silence between them was gone. It was fuelled by tension and a wrong move could blow everything out of proportion. They couldn’t go back to how they were before; they could only move forward. Erick had turned his face away, unwilling to look at Josh. He had taken some liberties so he was unable to look Josh in the eye like he normally did. Josh was sure Erick would do as he said and avoid him if the matter was not resolved or if he said the wrong thing. All things considered, he was half-way there with his feelings for Erick. So he made his decision with the same speed as when he was offered a post here.

“I’m still not sure. I don’t know if I want to sleep with you.” Erick’s head visibly drooped. “But in the meantime…” here Josh reached out and took Erick’s hand again. He raised his head to look at Josh, his eyes unreadable. Josh smiled “Why don’t you kiss me and try to convince me?”

It was like watching a flower bloom at high speed. The light returned to his eyes and a smile wreathed his face. But Erick was still so gentle as he cupped Josh’s cheek. 

“Are you sure?”

“Isn’t it your job to make me sure?”

“I don’t want you to regret it. You can still like the opposite gender, like a regular person.”

“I already told you that I’m not interested in women. I don’t think I’ll ever be normal.”

“There are many kinds of normal. This is mine.” Erick moved his face closer and Josh could feel his breath on his face, his lips. He closed his eyes and allowed Erick to kiss him. There was a little probing from Erick’s tongue and he opened his mouth to allow a deeper kiss. There was a faint scent and taste of durians, which could have been worse. The day could not get any better.

 

 

✿✿✿

 

 

“Argh! What the heck did Sam give me?

“What’s wrong?”

“The figures are not tallying. The system shouldn’t have allowed him to save this if that’s the case.”

“That’s weird. Did you check with him?”

“Yes. But he insists that the figures were correct when he sent them to me.” 

“Get him to send the spreadsheet version, I guess. You’ll have to look at it manually. If there’s no error then we have a bug… again..”

“I don’t look forward to having to relearn a whole new system but this provider sucks. Why’d we choose them in the first place?”

“I heard they offered the most competitive price.”

“But they’re not established, right? What made purchasing decide on them?”

“I know, you know. Now shut up and work.”

Dave shut up. It was an open secret that there had been something shady about the company giving such a profitable deal to a new start-up company but who were grunts in lower and middle management to question it? There had been some shake-up and reshuffling at the top though, and the sudden retirement of one senior director and the transfer of another to a small branch up north. The CEO had announced that the company would be terminating the contract with the service provider and was in the midst of looking at new bids. But in the meantime, he requested that the staff be patient and enlist the help of the IT department to sort their problems temporarily. The fact that the company was willing to pay for damages for the breach of contract instead of waiting for the contract to expire at the end of next year just showed how bad it was. However, there were also rumours that the company was going to sue the service provider for failure to deliver. It was going to be an ugly legal battle but the lower echelons were not interested. All they wanted to do was put in a decent day’s job and earn an honest wage.

In the midst of clacking keyboards and low volume chatter, Dave’s cell phone vibrated on the table. He picked it up to look at the message before replying with a helpless smile.

“Something the matter?” Josh was stretching when he noticed the look on his unit leader.

“Linda wants me to pick up some things for her at the Asian market. Those preserved plums you gave her the other time is really helping her nausea.”

“I’m glad about that. I remember my pregnant colleague back home always had a jar of them on her desk. And my sister swears by them too.”

“That explains it. When’s she due?”

“End of September or early October when she last told me.”

“That’s very soon. Will you be going to visit?”

“If I can take time off. But I doubt it. I need to prepare the third quarter’s reports.”

“That’s too bad. Maybe you can take your leave after that. It’s usually more relaxed after that.”

Josh nodded in assent and they continued to work, extracting and generating the sales figures to be consolidated into their monthly reports to the higher up. Josh was in charge of his country’s region, being familiar with the sales figures as well as goods and services provided there. He was also in charge of looking at the feasibility of new services to be provided, basically acting as the go-between for his region and headquarters. He enjoyed his job; it was better than running around doing sales. He was not a smooth enough talker, even if he was very familiar with the goods and services his company provided. He was happier analysing the facts and figures and providing troubleshooting for the problems that occurred. Besides, wearing a suit and running around in tropical weather was awful.

Because of the faulty system, report generating, which should have been as easy as opening the relevant page and printing them remotely, was now horribly tedious as files went missing, were unable to be accessed or showed up with a bunch of errors. Everything had to be crosschecked manually, which took up time and resulted in a lot of overtime for everyone.

“When will this finish...” Josh took off his glasses to rub his tired eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Tell me about it… I want to go home and see my wife while she’s still awake.” Dave was having his third cup of coffee, his face pale and accessorized by a splendid pair of eyebags. Josh did feel sorry for him but he too had to stay back to put in late nights and weekends. The system had crashed two weeks ago, leading to massive data loss and downtime. Thankfully, IT managed to recover most of it with the help of the inexperienced service provider. But that had been the last straw.

“Well, if you’ve sorted out most of your data, just call it a day today. We’re supposed to be off the clock now.” He pointed at the clock behind him.

“But…” Dave looked hesitant.

“Look, your wife’s going through her first trimester and that’s usually the hardest. Go home and give her some emotional support. She needs to know you care.”

There was silence but Dave was saving his documents. He looked resolute. Josh smiled.

“Go get dinner, some flowers and surprise her. You both deserve some time together.”

“You’re right.” Dave got up and addressed the rest of his team. “All of you, go home early today. We’re mostly done so higher ups shouldn’t begrudge us this. We all need a break.” There were cheers as everyone started to save their progress and tidy their desks. Two weeks of non-stop overtime had taken its toll and this was a great morale booster. So when Erick arrived at Josh’s office, he was surprised to see the office quiet and everyone gone. 

“What happened?” he asked Josh as he approached his desk. Josh gave him a wry smile. “I sent Dave home because he was missing his wife. He sent everyone home because he didn’t want to be the only one skipping OT.”

Erick raised his eyebrows. “So what are you still doing here?” They still behaved professionally at the office, with the occasional friendly banter like this thrown in. Just like two good friends who happened to work in the same company.

“Waiting for you. You’re doing OT too but you’ve stopped by everyday this week. Come on, let’s go for dinner.” Josh picked up his bag and they both left the company, chatting about everything but work; they’ve had enough of it during the day. Summer was ending but it was still light outside, despite being past seven. They stopped at a nearby pizzeria, agreeing to share one together. While they were eating, Josh’s phone issued a beep.

[She loved the dinner and flowers. Thanks!]

[That’s good. Enjoy your evening together and I’ll see you tomorrow.]

“Who’s that?”

“Dave. He took my suggestion and got dinner and flowers for the wife.To make up for all the overtime he was putting in.”

“Where’s my flowers then?”

“When you get pregnant then I’ll buy you all the flowers you want.”

They liked to joke around like this. While they kissed and cuddled a lot, they hadn’t gone beyond that. Erick was patiently allowing Josh all the time he needed to prepare himself mentally and spiritually; Josh couldn’t have asked for a better partner. He reached out to grab another slice of pizza, taking a bite. There was another beep on his phone. Thinking that it was another message from Dave, he casually opened his phone, pizza in his other hand. His eyes widened as he read the message and the pizza in his hand fell onto his plate as his hand went slack.

“Josh?!” 

“I… My sister…”

“What’s wrong with your sister?”

Josh still could not believe the short message that he had received from his brother-in-law, reading it over and over again.

[Jo was involved in a minor fender-bender. She’s fine but the shock induced labour. She’s in the delivery room now.]

Erick took the phone from his slack fingers and read the message. He frowned, knowing that Josh and his sister were close.

“Go call your brother-in-law.” He handed the phone back.

Josh was still in a daze and looked at Erick. His normally fair face was bloodless and his eyes had lost their natural calm. Erick stroked his cheek and smiled at Josh, who pulled himself together and hurriedly rang Marc’s number.

“Hello?” it was a woman’s voice. Josh did not recognize it.

“Is this Marc’s number?”

“Yes. How do you know my son?” So it was his sister’s mother-in-law.

“Hello. I’m Joshua, Joana’s brother. I got Marc’s message.”

“Oh! Josh! Sorry, I didn’t look at the name earlier.”

“It’s fine aunt- I mean ma’am. How’s my sister?”

“You can call me mama like your sister. She’s in the delivery room now. Marc is with her.” So that explained why Marc didn’t answer.

“What happened?”

“We were on our way to get your sister checked into the hospital when we were rear-ended. It wasn’t a very bad crash but the shock must have caused your sister to go into labour.”

“Shouldn’t she be due in two weeks? Will she and the baby be fine?”

“The doctors had said that she could go into labour at any time. That was why we were going to the hospital in the first place.”

“So she’s fine?” he seemed to have gripped the phone a little too hard.

“Yes. It’ll take a while before the baby’s delivered, since Joana insisted on a natural birth. I’ll keep you updated.”

“All right, thank you ma’am.”

“Not ma’am, mama. I treat your sister like a daughter. So you are just like my son.”

Maybe his sister had said something about his situation to her in-laws but Josh could feel his eyes sting from those warm, accepting words. He blinked rapidly, willing himself not to cry. He could only smile helplessly.

“All right, mama. Keep me posted or I won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

“I will.” With that, he hung up. He turned to see Erick, who had stood up, looking at him.

“I’ve settled the bill. Let’s go home.”

He nodded and took his things, glad to leave the rather public place. Since his place was within walking distance, Erick accompanied him home. There was no choice since Josh kept looking at his phone instead of paying attention to where he was going. After helping him open the door, Erick stood at the doorway and gave Josh a kiss on the forehead “I’ll see you tomorrow. Keep me posted on your sister.” before he turned to leave. Josh didn’t know what possessed him. On instinct, he grabbed Erick’s hand, who turned to look at him.

“Could- could you please stay?” He looked up, his eyes pleading “Please?” The last was almost a whisper. Erick turned around and enveloped him in a hug. “Of course.” 

Josh sat on the sofa in Erick’s embrace, his eyes never leaving the phone. It’d been several hours since his call to Marc. He could feel Erick stroking his back as he snuggled into the other man, borrowing his warmth and strength.

“Tired?” Erick was kissing his hair.

“I can’t sleep. I’m so worried about my sister.”

“It takes a while if it’s natural birth. Especially when it’s been induced like that.”

“You know a lot.”

“My brother and sister-in-law are doctors. And when my younger sister went into labour, we waited for half a day.”

“I didn’t know you have siblings.”

“I didn’t tell you. But I do want you to meet them.” Josh understood what he meant. He felt warm all over. He wasn’t sure if it was because of embarrassment or from the sweet words Erick was uttering. They just held each other, neither saying another word. Just when Josh was about to drowse off, his message ringtone rang. He was awake almost immediately.

With shaking hands, he opened the message. He found a picture of a wrinkled, red baby swaddled in a pink blanket and the caption [Autumn Summer Luna Lee Martin greets all her aunts and uncles and would like to tell them that she has safely arrived and insists that everyone loves her to bits! ♥]

Josh had to smile at that. It seemed like his sister still had the strength to type nonsense even after that gruelling birth. It also looked like his niece was an impatient go-getter like his sister; he was going to enjoy watching her grow up. He happily showed the picture to Erick, who smiled.

“Congratulations.” He said, kissing Josh on the cheek. Josh responded with a very passionate kiss on his lips. When the both of them were done, they were flushed, panting and aroused.

“Stay. You don’t have to go home tonight.” Josh whispered into his chest, his ears turning red. Erick gently lifted his head to look into his eyes before removing his glasses and kissing him again. Josh closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Erick’s neck. Erick was right; his heart knew when he was ready and they naturally moved onto the next step. What a wonderful way to end the day.

 

✿✿✿

 

 

“Dishes are done.” Erick came out of the kitchen and sat next to Josh on the sofa, his slightly damp arms immediately went around Josh’s waist. 

“Thanks.” Josh leaned into Erick’s embrace, lifting his tablet to show him the latest pictures of his niece. Since the day Josh asked Erick to spend the night, he had more or less moved into Josh’s apartment. It was bliss and they were happily living like newlyweds. But he was distressed because his transfer was only until the end of the year. After that, he’d most likely have to go home.

“What’s wrong?” Erick noticed the slight frown on his face.

“I’m just thinking about my contract.”

“We still have eleven months together. And if you perform well, you can ask for an extension,” Erick placated.

“I suppose…” Josh knew that some things were still uncertain but he knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Erick. He was sure Erick wanted the same. Outside, the snow had finally stopped. It was his second winter but he really hated the cold, snuggling deeper into Erick’s arms.

“If not, I’ll just follow you back. After all, someone has to oversee the set-up of the new system there.” Erick smiled at him. “And after that, you can apply to come back here again.”

“We might as well inform HR that we’re seeing each other…” Josh grumbled. It wasn’t as if the company forbade office romance. Especially since they were in different departments and their professional interests did not cross.

“Do you want to?”

“Let me think about it.”

 Erick smiled and leaned forward for a kiss, only to find Josh’s hand over his mouth. He looked a little hurt.

“Dude, we just had petai*1Parkia speciosa, also known as bitter bean or stink bean. Contains sulfur compounds that while tasty make for a rather unpleasant experience after. Do not eat this a day before any important meetings. Seriously. for lunch. I’m not kissing you until you’ve brushed your teeth. The durian kiss was bad enough.”

Erick rolled his eyes. “I’m starting to regret that  your country loves pungent food.” he muttered.

“Says the one who cooked it and had extras.”

This was followed up by a round of tickling, laughing and cuddles. The kisses were put on hold because both were too lazy to get up and brush their teeth. The doorbell put a stop to their roughhousing. They looked at each other.

“Are you expecting anyone?” Erick sat up, tidying his hair and clothes. 

“No.” Josh was doing the same before he got off the sofa to open the door. He was stunned to see his sister and brother-in-law, with little Summer bundled tightly in her mother’s arms.

“Sis? Marc? What- Why-” He was unable to form a coherent question.

“Surprise!” Joana smiled. “It’s almost time for the spring festival. Since you’ve been giving us so many excuses, we thought we’d just come over instead. Now let us in. Baby will get cold.”

Josh numbly stepped aside. He was further shocked when he saw the people behind his sister and her husband.

“Ma? Dad…” he trailed off, not quite sure he believed his eyes. 

“Son…” His mother stood at the door, her face a mixed bag of emotions. His father was silent, refusing to look at him. They stood in silence, unsure of what to say to the other.

“Let them in first. It’s awkward standing at the door.” Erick’s voice startled the three people at the entrance. Josh gestured for them to come inside but his parents were staring at Erick, their faces unreadable.

“Ma, Pa, come in and sit down first la.”Joana had handed her daughter to her husband and walked over. She lightly tugged at her mother’s arm. “I’ve told you about Erick already, right?” She smiled at her brother’s boyfriend. 

“We finally meet in person.” Erick smiled at Joana; they’d spoken to each other over video calls before, when Josh admitted to his sister that he was dating him.

“Yes. Wait, why do I smell sambal?”

“Sorry, you just missed lunch. Do you want a drink by the way?”

“That’d be great. It’s really cold outside.” Their voices disappeared into the kitchen, and Marc had tactfully brought the baby along, giving the three of them some privacy. Josh did not say anything, his mind still in a whirl at the sudden appearance of his parents. His mother, who had been staring at Erick and her daughter finally turned over and smiled at her son.

“He seems like a nice person…”

“He is.” Josh really didn’t know what to say. It felt so surreal to him, seeing both his parents here in his apartment. All three of them looked ill at ease, unsure of what to do or say. 

“Are you sure about this?” His father suddenly spoke, shocking both Josh and his mother. Josh looked at him and shrugged.

“I can’t say I’m 100% sure but I know I like him enough to think about lifetime commitment with him.”

“You’re not getting any younger. You won’t have children to take care of you in the future.”

“Even if I married a woman, what are the guarantees that I’ll have children of my own? Sis’s daughter and any other children she has will be enough. And there’s also Erick’s nephews and niece.”

“You’ve met his family?” His mother asked, surprised. 

“Yes. The tickets were too expensive to visit sis so Erick took me with him when he went home to celebrate the Christmas holidays.” He had been enthusiastically welcomed by Erick’s family, making him a little overwhelmed but warm and fuzzy inside. He’d seen Erick’s commitment to him and he had reciprocated. “Besides, even when you have children, there’s no guarantee that they will be filial to you.” He added as an afterthought. 

No, there was no guarantee; this caused more uneasy silence. Erick had been bitter and hurt over his father’s rejection and had decided to cut his ties, like his father wanted. He didn’t know how to speak to the crusty, old-fashioned old man without losing either his temper or his respect. Especially when he had been so confused about his orientation then. But now that he had met Erick, had  been welcomed by his family and knew that his sister was on his side, he’d mellowed down. He had planned to reach out to his parents again, to seek their understanding and perhaps, blessing; and if they still could not accept it, then he would have given up without any hard feelings. He had not expected them to reach out first.

“Josh, Erick said you made this? I didn’t know you cooked. Wait, why are you all still at the door?” Joana had walked out of the kitchen with a plate of soft, steamed cakes topped with desiccated coconut. They had been one of his favourites when he was back home.

“Yes. I wasn’t sure when I’d ever get a chance to taste Ma’s again so I thought that I had to learn to make my own.” He shrugged again, looking a little helpless. When she heard him, his mother burst into tears and hugged her son, finally able to hold him after more than a year. He awkwardly patted her back.

“I followed the recipe but it still doesn’t taste like yours…” he admitted.

“Compared to that last time when you scorched my kettle, this is very good. We can make this together and you can learn properly.” His mother gave him a teary smile.

“You weren’t lying about the kettle, I thought you had been embellishing.” Erick, who was bringing out a tray laden with tea, smiled at him.

“Oh no, he was a disaster in the kitchen. You should have seen the mess that followed.” His sister interjected.

“Hey!” 

They had a good laugh and moved to the living room sofa. Josh noticed that his father was still standing there, unable to join the rest of them.

“Pa…” He hadn’t called his father that in years, preferring to just call him dad, since he felt it was more matured. His father finally looked him in the eye. Josh was a little shocked to see tears in his eyes; he couldn’t recall ever seeing his father cry, not even when his paternal grandparents had passed away. He hurried over to him.

“Pa?”

“I was so angry that day. I shouldn’t have said that. No matter what, you’re still my son.”

To see his father cry and then admit his mistakes was a first for him. But knowing how much pride his stubborn father had to swallow, he met him half-way.

“I was too stubborn as well. I was confused and needed some time. I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused.”

“I don’t want you to make a mistake that can ruin your life.” 

“I know.” Deep down, he did. His father had just used the wrong approach. “Let’s sit down. You must be tired from your journey.” He urged his father to sit before he joined everyone else. He then held his niece for the first time; feeling both awed and awkward at the same time, when he looked at the tiny little bundle, his brother-in-law hovering protectively next to him. Finally fed up with Marc’s anxiousness and afraid that he would drop her, he returned her to him, who smiled dotingly at his first child.

The Lunar New Year was going to take place in a few days so everyone was staying on for this. Compared to the cold and lonely non-celebration last year, this year felt like the Lunar New Year celebration that he was familiar with. Spring was coming and it was a time for new beginnings. There were probably going to be hiccups and challenges in the future; but that was life, full of certain uncertainties. Josh smiled as he watched his parents trying to get to know Erick and familiarize themselves with the new part of their son’s life. Come what may, his life was richer and sweeter with every new encounter and he had no regrets for now. While looking forward to the future, he would enjoy it one day at a time.

 

END

 

 

 

 

Footnotes:

Petai: Parkia speciosa, also known as bitter bean or stink bean. Contains sulfur compounds that while tasty make for a rather unpleasant experience after. Do not eat this a day before any important meetings. Seriously.

 

 

 

Author's Account:

Silverty (SH).

 

 

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