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by Queenfisher

 

Premise Tags: Gamelit,

NPCs, Unrequited Love,

Melancholy, Beginnings.

Content Warnings: Ambiguity

about Free Will of the MC.

 

 

 

Why did this young man catch Luan's eye?

 

He didn't know. He just had to come and talk to him. Had to.

 

The small square in front of the Guild's entrance was expectedly packed. Potential recruits buzzed with excitement, throwing their heads back to marvel at the tall spires of the guild towers, at the rippling flags of the Mage Coalition.

 

As always, on the first day of Spring.

 

The dawn of the beginning year. A time of rebirth. Flowers pecking through the snow, the still-chilly breeze, the giddiness of youths.

 

Luan wanted to sigh and smile at their animation with the experience of an elder. He was no elder, though. Barely a few years older than most of the neophytes, he, nonetheless, carried himself with the sophistication of the finer taste.

 

Recruits would come and go, most of them never lingering in the Guild for longer than a few hours. But he would remain.

 

Not to sound prideful, as though he was someone important. He was just a scribe, offering the first bits of advice to those who passed the entry requirements. Yet without him, how else would all these youths know what to do and where to go? The Guild was massive, and the first lessons were crucial in helping the neophytes survive in this cruel and dangerous world.

 

Thus, Luan straightened his frock and cocked his hat to give himself a more impressive look. Then he walked out the side door to the tiny yard in which the accepted neophytes sat. With just a preliminary glance, Luan located his first target.

 

Something just... drew Luan to him.

 

A hunched, lean youth was sitting at the edge of the stone footsteps.  Looking up as Luan approached.

 

But his gaze was filled with such brimming resentment that Luan stopped in his tracks.

 

His trained smile wavered on his lips.

 

"Hello, young neophyte," Luan told him after he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Welcome to the Elytherian Guild of Magic! My name is Luan. I will be your guide here today."

 

...

 

The young man had nice features, Luan thought. Dark hair, dark eyes, tan, smooth skin with just a tint of blush. Dressed simply, in the most nondescript clothes of a civilian on the street, but carrying so much inner fire, Luan immediately knew why he had to come to this person.

 

He was surely someone important. Someone with great future and potential.

 

If Luan didn't know any better, he would say that this person felt like some kind of a... Chosen One, ha-ha!

 

But when the youth turned away with displeasure, it was as though sunlight shifted behind the clouds, leaving Luan in the dim dusk.

 

...

 

Honestly, Luan wanted to leave and approach someone else. Anyone who would appreciate his amicability. But...

 

Something compelled him to walk around the young man and stop right before him. Smiling, again, as though in an attempt to placate him.

 

"Young neophyte. The tutorial about how to use the grounds of the Elytherian Guild of Magic is very important. Please reconsider your manners," Luan said, only slightly huffy. "Once again, what name do I have the honor of--"

 

"Luan, no."

 

The neophyte met his eyes, and it stunned Luan how deep and pained the youth's gaze was.

 

He'd been mistaken a moment ago. He'd thought this youth had looked at him with resentment, but now -- up close, he could tell. It was misery.

 

Ache.

 

"Young neophyte?" Luan tilted his head, perplexed. "You know my name? But--"

 

How?

 

I do not know yours.

 

I am seeing you for the very first time.

 

More silence. More stubborn refusal to meet Luan's eye.

 

Yet now that the young man had called him by his name, Luan couldn't simply leave. He was curious!

 

He bent forward just a bit, cocking his head to the side. His eyes crinkled up in humor. "Young neophyte, please don't tell me you don't want a tutorial and that you know the layout of this place so well you might as well skip it! Ha-ha..."

 

"Jesus," the neophyte exhaled, putting his hand to his face.

 

"Is that your name, neophyte?" Luan leaned away, patting a finger to his lips. "Jesus. It sounds wonderful--"

 

"Luan. My name is Martin, for the seventh time. But it's not like it matters to you." Martin let out a mirthless chuckle, reclining back on the stone steps and giving Luan a defeated look. "Does it?"

 

"Of course it matters." Luan pondered, tasting the name in his mouth. "Martin. Well, young Martin -- yes or no to the tutorial? I do understand that not everyone might want to do it. It can seem very insignificant sometimes. But that's why there is always an option to skip it, you see?"

 

The young man gazed at him. For a long while.

 

No speaking. Just this... seemingly-endless staring and no desire to break the silence at all.

 

Which was not something Luan objected to.

 

He enjoyed silence, too. And birdsongs, and the fragrance of flowers filling the quiet yard. Contemplation benefitted his studious mind. This was why he loved this Guild and all its corners so much. The sole reason he enjoyed offering guidance to neophytes who came here for the first time.

 

The reason why it was so easy for him to smile at Martin without feeling invited to.

 

But he... was.

 

Somehow, the moment Luan smiled at him again, Martin's disposition changed.

 

No longer looking tired or annoyed -- or even pained -- as he'd been before, Martin's expression stirred with something quite akin to--

 

...ah.

 

Luan thought he mistook it. Or that a sunray blinded him for a moment and made him see things wrongly, but...

 

He thought he saw tears.

 

Just a single glimpse -- before Martin averted his gaze and sat up again, dragging his hands wearily to his face as though to rub it.

 

Instead, he buried his face in his palms. Deeply, desperately.

 

A shuddering sigh escaped him as he whispered, "Luan. I... hate you and your stupid tutorial."

 

"Ex...cuse me?"

 

Luan gulped. Should he feel offended or concerned about the young man? The words were rude, but Martin's bearing felt different.

 

The way he'd said it, it almost sounded like the opposite.

 

Luan could not leave. He didn't even dare to question the young man's attitude. So broken it was. So... desperate.

 

"Shove your damn tutorial -- know where?"

 

...

 

When crushing sobs broke out of the young man's lips, Luan could not hold himself any longer. He slowly crept near the young man and sat beside him on the steps. Aggrieved, he put his slender hand on his forearm, and Martin tensed beneath it.

 

As though sensing even such a gentle touch.

 

But rather than recoil, as Luan half-expected him to, he leaned into it. Like in a sweet surrender, Martin cautiously placed his head on Luan's shoulder, his fingers grasping the sleeve of Luan's silvery, silk frock. Clutching it so hard that Luan was amused. How needy this young man ended up being, regardless of his previous attitude.

 

It was clear this neophyte would never let go.

 

Yes, definitely something powerful about him.

 

Something magnetic.

 

"You don't even have a choice, do you? I know you don't, but... Luan," Martin mumbled under his nose, not even caring if Luan heard him or not. "Every single time you come out these doors and find me here at the start of every new game, I can't help it. I want to believe you single me out for some other reason than just me being the Player Character."

 

He lifted his head off Luan long enough to gaze greedily into his eyes.

 

"You know?"

 

"I really don't, Martin," Luan told him, blank.

 

He wanted to segue back into asking him about the tutorial, but... he felt it was too early. The young man was distraught and confused. The nonsense he was spewing! Games? Players?

 

Huh?

 

Probably not the best time to talk about the tutorial so soon.

 

Something else, then. Something to lift the young man's moods perhaps?

 

"Do you like Spring?" Luan asked. "Isn't it lovely today? The breeze carries the scents of the first blossoms from the orchard in the Magic Botany Garden in the south wing and... ah, it melts my heart. I just feel as if I’m flying, like a petal myself. So precious."

 

"Only you would say something as random as that, Luan." Martin shook his head against Luan's shoulder, but a trace of amicable weariness crept into his tone, coloring it warmer than before. Yet even wrapped in warmth, he could not avoid saying rude, inappropriate things. "I fucking hate Spring, Luan."

 

"Ehhh?"

 

What do you have against Spring, you madman?

 

Luan wanted to lean away dramatically, but Martin held onto him, tight.

 

Yep. Once he clutched onto something, he would never be able to let it go.

 

That was clear.

 

"And you know it," Martin told him, pouting for whatever reason. "How many times do I have to tell you? In this stupid game, Spring is not part of the cycle! It is not a rebirth, not a turn of the wheel. Nor is it time for updates or progress."

 

"All springs are," Luan retorted, haughty. "You speak foolishness."

 

He jerked his sleeve back and straightened it with distaste from how much Martin had creased it.

 

What a troublesome neophyte.

 

"Here, it isn't." Martin looked up at the luminous azure sky and the rare swirl of tender pink petals floating through from somewhere afar, lit with the gilded specks of sun dapples and pollen.

 

"Here, Spring is a loop. A reset," Martin ended, grave. "Everything back to square one, never able to progress. Never able to turn into something... more."

 

Befuddled, Luan observed the somber young man from the side. He found it odd how someone so young could be bothered with something so depressing.

 

His whole life was spread out before him. All the wonderful adventures and journeys and... quests Luan and others could give him. Luan wouldn't even mind following his youth on some of those, either!

 

Why so sad, then?

 

This was Spring.

 

Only a beginning, with all the best things waiting just a bit beyond the horizon.

 

"Is it going to be the search for seven gilded carrots in Magister Wellyn's lab? Or the quest to carry a letter from this Guild to the one across the gorge?" Martin side-eyed him. "It varies, what you choose to give me first. I wonder which now."

 

Seriously!

 

This young man could read minds, for all Luan swore. Luan should keep an eye on him, at all times.

 

"Now I don't want to tell," Luan blurted. "You make me self-conscious."

 

"It’s okay. Anything you will ask, I will agree to. I swear."

 

Lower, his voice almost had a tinge of tenderness to it. One that made Luan all that much more accepting of this wayward apology.

 

"Every single moment with you is worth it," Martin murmured, soft. "Otherwise, why would I keep coming back? Not like the XP is so great around here, trust me. Well?" Martin squinted. "So which quest is it?"

 

...

 

You know which one, surely.

 

Luan spread his shoulders and donned his happiest smile. He flourished his hand over to the yard and the Guild and everything that lay beyond. 

 

"Young Martin. Do you want me to give you the tutorial on the Grand Elytherian Guild of Magic? Of course skipping is an option, but--"

 

"Yes," came the immediate answer. "I do.

 

"All the tutorials, Luan. Each and single one of them." Martin’s voice cracked as he chuckled. Just a tinge of bitterness in it. Just a tinge of pain. "For as long as we can both take it."

 

Just you wait, neophyte. I will make you rethink your sadness. I will make you fall in love with this place and grow to like me, too, soon enough.

 

We're off to a great start already.

 

It was the happiest Luan had felt in a long, long time. Spring was indeed a marvelous season. With so many new things to offer, and some beautiful relationships to begin.

 

Wasn't it?

 

Author's Account:

Queenfisher (SH).

 

 

Since the author flew of to the lands of dreams, a little theater of the BL Palace Zoo will be a placeholder.

Little theater:

Birb: TT____TT It is very rushed... and depressing...

Fish: Ok?? 

*comes back after reading* 

Fish: Open end

Fish: ? It’s not as depressing as you think! and Luan is somewhat reciprocating.

Birb: .... it is?? TT___TT I was just worried someone might say Luan is programmed to be so nice +_+

Fish: My head cannon will have a person sitting behind Luan though!

Birb: ☺️ Awww!

Fish: That would be a very cute gaming novel! No fighting for the top.

Birb: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

Fish: PUN NOT INTENDED!!!

The actual Author's Note now that I am awake! ^^

Just wanted to thank so many people who helped me with this story. As I told fishy above, it was rushed because my original short story for the anthology ended up a bit longer than this, and seeing as we needed one of the short stories to put between two lengthier ones, I decided to drop the real 2nd entry. And to put this one instead.

The decision was impulsive and well... rushed. Thus, the help of @tiaf , @RedEmber512 , and @Rikaaan was invaluable to me! Thank you guys!

And thank you everyone for reading, too!

 

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