“Like, yin yang, ‘We are not meant to be perfect, we are meant to be a whole.’. It’s part of what makes us whole, what makes us human. So, don’t mind it. If you’re thinking about you going overboard, then my answer is no. As long, you don’t show it in your actions or go overboard, it’s all okay. Emotions are complex matters. We can’t control nor handle them that well. Even good-hearted people, in general, can go insane when their rage devours their mind.”, Naoki stated, as she gently stroke my face.

“If you fear going overboard, and can’t control it. Then, we can work on that. We are always here for you. “, Yuki, holding my head, as she said that.

I know...

I know all of that...

But that’s not what I’m afraid of...

“I know... I’m not afraid of it. No matter how good-nature you are, there will always sliver of darkness that dwells on a person’s heart. I agree with what Naoki stated. All of that balances things out. I know all of that.”, I said firmly, then I tightly held Naoki.

“What are you getting afraid for?”, Yuki asked.

“...”, Naoki only looked at me, as she stares into my eyes.

“Of what Auntie said to me earlier... If my decision could really be bad for me. I know she told me that because she cares about me, but thinking about it, I can’t help myself but starting to doubt my own decision. Not only because of this but for other reasons as well. Such as the time how I acted yesterday, I remember but not all of it. Like, watching a film without any sounds, as if I became deaf.”, I said unsettlingly.

The uneasiness that started building up inside is indescribable. It gives me shivers. None of the plans that I thought of before going to school went exactly as I planned to be, as it all went the opposite way. That’s why I started thinking what Aunt said to me earlier a deep thought. What most likely to happen, if what’s happening to me will still remain the same. I think I will not last a week here.

“Was it because of how you acted like a normal person, yesterday...?”, Yuki said.

“Yeah... It feels too bizarre. I don’t know what happened to me. I just started acting like that, out of my will, or maybe someone possessed me...”, I replied.

“What are you guys saying?”, Naoki looked at me, concerned.

“Yesterday, when you lost consciousness in my chest. After that, I started acting weird...”, I replied.

“Weird?”, Naoki said, perplexed.

“Tatsu started acting as he would often 2 years ago, before the accident.”, Yuki interjected.

Naoki’s eyes widen, gawking at me. I too got my eyes fixated on Yuki.

“I know what you are thinking how come I knew it? Simple. It was Naoki’s parents who told me about it, plus some descriptive explanation from Hina-senpai.”, Yuki explained.

“Oh...”, I said while still stupefied.

“I don’t know what triggered him. However, Sakura-chan and Haru-san saw the old Tatsu before all of that. From the way, he called Sakura-chan to Aunt Sakuya. Although, no one can really tell because Tatsu’s composure didn’t change.”

“...”, I’m still stupefied.

“Was it because of me...?”, Naoki said in gloom.

“I think so... When I saw you acting weird, I got worried, so I tried calling you but you’re not answering. But, when you smiled at me that time, I think that’s it...”, I replied.

Remembering all the stuff that happened yesterday. Naoki was acting oddly out of the ordinary. Then I saw her eyes dilating. She then started removing the hair that was blocking my eyes, upon seeing my eyes—Naoki smiled. Naoki’s smile that time was one smile that struck me. I kept remembering it.

There’s something about that smile that I can’t forget.

“S-Sorry...”, Naoki said apologetically.

Laying my eyes on her, seeing her like that my heartbeat’s rhythm became faster.

“Hey, that’s nothing to worry about.”, smiling at her, then I gave a gentle kiss on her lustrous lips.

Naoki’s eyes gape wide open while looking at me.

“Ah. Looks like my heartbeat is beating faster.”, I blurted, touching my chest with my right hand.

“Pffft— Hahahahaha. What a thing to blurt out.”, Yuki said laughingly.

“I-It just came out of my mouth...”, I shyly said.

Tears started pouring down from Naoki’s eyes, “Eh...?”, she said.

“Why do I have tears coming out of my eyes?”, Naoki said.

Upon noticing the tears that are coming out from Naoki’s eyes, my body instinctively moved by itself. As our position is still the same as earlier, I held her body tight. After that, I started removing the tears from her eyes gently, trying not to harm her in any way.

“Haa... You guys are really unstable. I think we need to visit Izumi-sensei later. We don’t know if the changes in Tatsu will be for good or worsened his condition. Then adding Naoki’s anxiety attack yesterday from Shika-chan’s outburst to her. I need to bring you two later.”, Yuki said.

I then looked at Yuki, who had her hands wrapped around my neck. It bewildered me at what she said.

“What?”, I asked.

“I’ll be bringing you two to Izumi-sensei.”, Yuki said once again.

“I know. But, why Naoki too? I mean I do understand if I’m the one... Wait...”, a quick realization came to me.

Then I continued, “Don’t tell me... She’s...”, narrowing my eyes, as I was seeking answers in Yuki’s translucent amethyst eyes.

“If you’re thinking about her mental health, then you’re correct. I told you, you’re not the only one.”, Yuki shallowly smiled, with a hint of sadness over it.

“Wait, is that why Haru-san told me about ‘Naoki is the same as you’?”, I said then my eyes laid upon Naoki who’s still whimpering, so I asked her, “Is what Yuki said, true?”

Naoki nodded.

“Then how about you, Yuki?”, I asked.

“Even though, I’m part of it. I would say that my mental fortitude is on a different level than you two. Not really a brag but that’s just how I grew up.”, Yuki replied.

“I don’t what to say about that. However, one thing I want to say to you, Yuki.”, I said.

“What is it?”, Yuki asked.

“Keeping all those stuff to yourself will only lead to you, collapsing. I know that you’re putting this facade of a strong-willed person in public, but that would only kill you slowly as time passes by. You don’t need to put that whenever you’re with us. So, rely on us too.”, I said, giving her a big, assuring smile.

Naoki finally spoke, “Tatsu’s correct. I’ve been with you for the past two years. You’re the one who’s been helping me with my parents. I haven’t told you about this because I’m scared of how you would react, but please don’t be hard on yourself. You’ve been my only friend when I was struggling in middle school. If weren’t for you, I don’t know if I’m still the same person as I am now today. I can’t thank you enough for the help you gave to me. I’m glad I met you alongside Tatsu. Thank you for being there for me.”, Naoki smiled, with her watery eyes still left out from earlier.

Yuki let out a big smile, and responded, “I would say the same. I only did that because that’s what friends do. As for being hard on myself, I assure you guys that I’m not. I know my own limitations and to the extent of what I can do. I can’t believe that Tatsu would see through me the second time.”

“Of course, I told you. It’s all on my guts.”, I said.

“Haa... Can’t really beat your guts, huh? What I said was true, even though we’ve all been in the same incident. I’m much more sturdy than you think. A mere incident like that is nothing to me.”, Yuki said tiredly.

“You’re doing it again.”, I pointed out.

“What again?”, Yuki asked.

“The strong-willed persona of yours, where you will say assuring things to make us relieved that you have it all under control. It’s pretty obvious that it’s part of your facade because those are the qualities for being an influential or competent leader, as they shoulder all the burdens so that people under its leadership won’t cause panic or create chaos which could lead to a disparity in the group. Is that what your grandfather taught to you growing up?”, I replied.

Yuki flinched, “Fine, you're right! Why are so fucking smart?!”

Naoki giggled, “Hehehehe.”

“You said it from start. Your grandfather was the one who raised you. If I were him, I would love it if my granddaughter would grow up as a leader that can successfully bring his family to greatness.”, I replied, shrugging my shoulders.

Logically, If I were an influential leader. I would think like that too, as you still need to nurture the future of your own group. 

“Haa... I give up. Okay, it’s true. I really hate that part of you.”, Yuki said, but she said the last part in a mutter to which I could still hear it.

“I doubt that. You love that part of me, right?”, I grinned while looking into her eyes.

Puffing her cheeks like a small animal, Yuki replied, “Yeah.”

This the Yuki that I’ve seen earlier, I really find that part of her cute.

Naoki giggled, “Hehehehe.”

“We got sidetracked from our discussion. So, how bad are your conditions, Yuki and Naoki?”, I asked.

Because of how we got sidetracked, I managed to calm myself and started processing all the information given to me by Yuki.

“I’m okay, unlike you two.”, Yuki answered.

“I only have anxiety attacks, just like yesterday. But other than that, there’s none.”, Naoki answered.

“So, I’m the only worse one here, huh...”, I said.

“Yeah, pretty much.”, Yuki said.

“All of my anxiety attacks are all related to you whenever you’re in the picture. That’s what Izumi-sensei told me.”, Naoki said.

“Wait, so your psychiatrist is Izumi-sensei too?”, I asked in bewilderment.

“Naoki’s condition correlates to you, so Izumi-sensei took her too.”, Yuki answered.

Thinking about it, I remember what Ai-senpai told me about how my sister keeps blaming Naoki on what happened to me. Is that the reason she got anxiety attacks? Correlates to me... What a weird connection.

“I see.”, I said.

“Now that’s all in the way, I’ve got some questions about you, Yuki.”, I added.

“You accepted all of that relatively easily. Aren’t you in shock or surprise?”, Yuki interjected.

“Not really. After our discussion got sidetracked, I manage to calm myself down. As for the information that you revealed to me, I would say they all answered my hypothesis and questions in my head. I’m more surprised at myself because of how I manage to piece all of them together.”, I answered.

“Haa... You’re pretty much the same as always. That part of yours didn’t really change.”, Yuki said with a plastered smile on her face.

“Me too. Although we could say he changed physically, his personality still remains the same.”, Naoki added with the same smile as Yuki.

“So, into the question. About how you the hickey and the breaking of an arm, yesterday. Did you deliberately do it?”, I asked.

“Is that the reason you said that to me earlier at lunch?”, Yuki asked.

“Yeah.”, I replied.