Ming Yu, 12. Xihan 8

Countdown: 10 years to go before turning 18. -Xihan

-

"What a crowd . . ."

The event had not started yet however the school grounds were bustling with crowds of children and family alike.

Both Ming and Yao household were present to accompany Ming Yu throughout the graduation ceremony and their number made the tight space much tighter.

The still short boy Xihan was being squeezed in between and the building hit wasn't helping him from sweating and the foul smell of other people's sweat. Oh the damn torture, he felt like his nose was gonna explode.

It was the terrible mixture of strong Cologne and something sour and rotten.

"I need air!" he pulled on MIng Yu's hand who's height made him a giant. Ming Yu's spurted up so tall within the past 2 years while he barely did, why the hell is he so short? It can't be that not only would he be younger, he'd also be shorter in this life?!

But he's the Gong* QAQ

Xihan didn't even finish his sentence when he was scooped protectively by the love of his life.

"They stink so bad."

"Shh... keep it to yourself." Ming Yu whispered lowly.

The school bell rang and a voice called out through the building' speakers telling them to head into the wide gym hall and take their seats.

The two finally found a spot in the middle seats while Xihan and Ming Yu broke away to sit together with their respective classes. A short program was planned rather than going straight ahead to the ceremony. Undergraduates showed off some dances and the staff were presenting long speeches that could knock the senses out of you.

The long speeches were torturous.

Xihan raised his hand to tell the teacher that he needed to go to the bathroom yet his mind had something else planned. He sneaked into Ming Yu's class and dragged him out of it. Ming Yu didn't ask what was going on and simply followed the boy and even though his teacher saw him abruptly leave, he said nothing.

The classroom was empty, the limited space reserved for two. 

Xihan's classroom was crafty. Children's drawings could be found pasted on the walls, the desk was still full with numerous crayons in different colors and doodles could be seen on it's surface. For the occasion, red lanterns were hanging on the windows and on the board were chalk drawings that could barely be deciphered due to it's curvy and complicated outlines.

It was done by children so give it a break. haha

Out of all the sketches and art works within the room, there was nothing that pinpointed that it was done by Xihan. As a student, he shouldn't had been able to run away from participating into these little things so Ming Yu was looking forward for something outstanding.

Another possibility would be that Xihan's drawing skills sucked so bad it's at the same level of a 3rd grader.

Ming Yu chuckled to himself and jumped when he felt a painful pinch on his waist. He scowled at the his tiny husband who rolled his eyes at him. Xihan went to his desk and pulled out a thick paper underneath. The paper was placed on Ming Yu's hand and what he did was to scroll it open.

"I'm not that bad don't you think?"

"The reason why you don't see my work is that my level is too good at it than the others and the teacher said it was fine to do what I like when we aren't working in groups."

It was a sketched portrait of Ming Yu.

Not the current body, but his real face. The him from their third lifetime.

 The difference of him from then and this picture was that rather than wearing a gown and long hair, he was wearing a casual blue shirt and his hair was cropped short. A hand was propped up resting on his chin on top of a table and he was grinning widely. Such a genuine smile was the rarest and the eyes was looking straight back at him which made him blush.

"You ... still remember."

"How could I not. That time, you said it was the real you. I couldn't probably forget the real face of my wife , shouldn't I?"

Ming Yu's heart thumped moved by Xihan's dedication to him.

"If I wasn't the kid that I am now I could've shared a hot kiss with you right now."

"Watch what you say."

"Yes. yes. A child like me shouldn't utter anything sexual. 10 years to go."

"Endure." He teased.

"Stop saying that. It isn't helping." He took Ming Yu's hand from the sketch and laced his together. Young as they are, their fingernails were similarly pinkish but the size of Xihan's fingernails were relatively smaller. His hand was two-third's the size of Ming Yu's palm which reminded him of the long years that needed to pass.

"Two years without you here. Why am I younger in this life."

"My school is nearby."

"Still. You won't be there during breaks."

"We'll see each other at home."

"Should I just move in with you?"

"You live right in front my house."

The clingy husband was out of ideas to make up for the long hours of separation with his wife. Graduating sucks. Now they were attending different schools.

Xihan dragged a chair beside Ming Yu and he sat, entwining their fingers again as his head rested on Ming Yu's arm.

MIng Yu again stared at Xihan's handiwork. Although it wasn't as skillful as his, it was easy for the eyes to tell that it was him in all likeness. His heart felt full and it thumped loudly. This really proved that Xihan was helplessly smitten over him.

The quiet room awoke his thoughts and he began to wonder how did everything started?

In the first world, Xihan was attracted to him and straightforwardly expressed his feelings to him. Right, that's how it started.

Since there was a battle for the throne, he had experienced a lot and even he lost his life. Maybe this was the trigger that strengthened their love for one another.

In the second world, he never expected to meet him again and there was even a woman. Ah, that woman really annoyed him not only her but his sister. 

Oh yeah, there was Zhenhao too. They troubled him a lot. Feng Mother and Father too.

Third, they had children. Ming Yu frowned remembering how riled up he felt when he thought his husband cheated on him for a woman. It was the higher ups fault, these lazy conductors of life.

That life was extremely fulfilling. Sons and his own daughter. Even now he wondered how was that possible. Their children were welcomed by loving in-laws which made their family bigger.

The fourth, it started as a disaster but ended peacefully. There was now a mini Ze Min together with them which was a good thing. The Xu Ze Min experienced too much ruthlessness that he deserved a chance for a peaceful life.

He wondered where Sun Ji Man could be.

Fifth, had an unexpected ending.

And now ...

"What are you thinking about?"

"Mmn?"

"Your heart was thumping loudly that I could hear it from this distance but then I couldn't hear it anymore and your hand went cold."

"I was ... thinking about the past. Everything."

Xihan moved away and turned his body to look at Ming Yu's eyes.

"Why do you love me?" Ming Yu asked.

This question surprised Xihan and his pupil's went wide. Ming Yu never asked him this question before as for them, loving the other became natural. He cupped one side of his face and Ming Yu held it with his hand, feeling the touch warming his cheek.

"I never told you this but I was a lonely man. A very ... very lonely man."

Ming Yu shuddered when he heard this.

"At first, when I realized that I fell for you I rejected it. I thought I was incapable of doing so since I don't even love myself. The hate I have for myself is more, much more than you can imagine."

"..."

"You're a smart man. I know you've noticed things that didn't seem right with me and there are questions that you've been wanting to ask. So why didn't you?"

Because it felt that if i did, you would leave me.

"Ah Yu, I was desperate to leave you."

"But you are here."

"I keep coming back." Ming Yu's hand was getting colder and he bought it to his lips and kissed it, lovingly rubbing the surface of his hand.

"You're my happiness. You are my hope. My everything. With you, I was getting better at accepting myself and with this, you saved a life. My life."

"So how can I not come back?" He smiled and played with Ming Yu's fingers as they were comforting to touch.

An Adult's shadow overlapped with Xihan and although the face was a blur, this didn't stop him from imaging a man's lonely silhouette.

What are you ... Who are you ...

 "I might be loving you more than you do." Xihan stated.

Ming Yu was overwhelmed with feelings and was speechless. Xihan acted as if he was awaiting judgement and didn't dare meet Ming Yu's eyes by looking down, fixated on their hands. 

If Ming Yu was to asked him questions, he wasn't confident that he could answer.

The school bell rang signaling the start of the ceremony. Xihan stood up, letting go to put his chair back to where it was. 

"Let's go?"

"Mmn." Ming Yu dully replied and followed him.

In this moment, both feared to touch the other's hand.

-

The stage was free of people and children from different classes were called up. Undergraduates were called on first and each received a diploma of graduating the said class. Xihan also had his chance to go up and receive his.

Before the primary graduates were to called up, the principal gave his well wishes through a long speech which made the parents itch impatiently with their camera's readied on their hands. Yue's hand was especially trembling excitedly.

The last word was finally said and Yue sprang into action capturing every movement of Ming Yu. The parent sitting in front of him stood up which caused him dissatisfaction and before he could argue with the guy, Huang who was a bit taller snatched the camera from his hands and used his advantage to work with the camera. 

He himself was equally excited although it wasn't too clear to see from the calm smile on his face.

-

The formalities ended and the time to socialize came.

The classes gathered outside for a group photo and when the Yao and Ming couples finally found their children, they dragged the three to their sides and asked a stranger to take one with both families altogether.

Ming Yu suddenly held Xihan's hand and they looked at each other's eyes. The cameras finished flashing and Ming dragged him somewhere with no people.

He pulled him in his arms hugging him tight and tears trailed down his eyes, a drop hanged on his eyelash and dropped joining the flow of tears which soaked Xihan's shoulder.

"You did well ... coming back to me."

"..."

"You did well." He couldn't imagine how hard it could've been for Xihan to face his internal struggles and convince himself that it was okay for him to continue to love him.

Ming Yu felt it, from each word said he felt the pain and it was overwhelming. Xihan said it somehow lightly but it sure had been eating his heart away all these time.

With his eyes awake he saw the love he had for him but asleep, he wondered how many nights Xihan spent to gaze painfully at him.

Sympathizing took a huge toll like he was being pulled into a whirlpool struggling to swim back up, droning repeatedly and through it all, it was only now that he was able to breathe.

For Xihan, these words was all it took for him to burst, letting himself go and cry within the warm embrace.

A heavy weight was taken away from his shoulders. Their feelings amounted into something worth far more than anything that it tore through the barriers he surrounded around his heart. The man in his lover's embrace was the lonely man that he truly was. The broken side of him.

It was a heavy sense of Déjà-vu.

Later on, the parents found the two asleep at the back of the court building. Their eyes were swollen and dried tears were still cold on the touch.

They leaned on each other while holding on the other's hand. The image was concerning yet calming at the same time.

"These two ... always keeping secrets and crying where we don't see them." Huang picked Ming Yu up while Yao Ren Jin carried Xihan.

"Let Xiaoyu stay at our place. I think Xihan wouldn't like it when he wakes up and his Yu-ge isn't at his side. This brat will throw a tantrum." Wan Ke Er pinched her son's ear and Xihan reflexively slapped her hand away in sleep.

"Okay, then let's go home."

"What about the amusement park?" They actually made plans to surprise the children but with the exhausted pair, they couldn't possibly go anymore.

"Ke Er, go pick up Ze Min and tell him it's time to go, we'll wait in the car."

"Ah! There you are! Why are you all in here? I was looking for you!" Yao Ze Min appeared like a rabbit inside a magician's hat.

"It's time to go home." 

"Okay~ HanHan and Yu-ge are sleeping?"

"Yes so don't be too loud now."

"Roger that. " he whispered playfully, grinning behind the palm in his mouth.

The two family set out on the road and it wasn't long before they reached their respective houses.

After setting down the two on Xihan's room, the door creaks as it closed and Ming Yu's eyes fluttered open.

He took the smaller one in his embrace and lovingly kissed Xihan's forehead.

"You are my everything too ..." he whispered tenderly.

His lids were again heavy and he closed his eyes.

This time, no nightmare haunted him in his sleep.