Ming Yu, 13. Xihan 9

Countdown: 9 years to go before turning 18. -Xihan

-

Yue and Huang were already outside packing in their stuff so Ming Yu hurriedly walked down the stairs and entered the car. Huang started the car up it took ten minutes to get on the highway.

Ming Yu's thoughts were on the road. How the skies were so blue, or how the leaves of each trees differ from a bright green to dark and some, yellow.

They drove up through 4 towns away and reached their destination. His uncles were currently living there, but soon they would be moving into the same town close to the family due to work. This day would be the last they'll see this place.

The gate pushed open and unquestionably, Xin opened the door and welcomed them warmly. 

When Ming Yu first met the Xin and Hong pair, it sunk to him that through out his years in this world, there was a clear chance that he would be stumbling into each and every character in his book. 

In this world, none of them were subjected to a story line so how this tale was fated to end was a mystery. The future unwritten. Everything would naturally flow through coincidences and fate.

Meeting them all at once would be staggering  however there was also this sense of satisfaction whenever he imagined it.

They were all brought to life through him. His own work.

As an author, seeing everything in action was a miracle unknown to man and his once humble self was given this chance to witness all of it. An occupational dream, isn't it?

Wonderful. Such life was wonderful.

Both Xin and Yue loved wide open areas whether its the backyard or front. On the wide front yard were picnick tables laid out, the grilling equipment and rows of fresh meat. This day was to be spent BBQ-ing which was something the family couldn't always make time for so one look at everything, everyone's enthusiasm started to burn.

Ming Yu, despite being the birthday boy quickly snatched away the clamp and took on barbecue duty. Hong and Yue were marinating the meat in different sauces, Huang would eye on Ming Yu while setting up the table so he could take over when he needed too.

Xin didn't give a damn about cooking that the food related job he could do was to make rice ---with the rice cooker. He would be a fool to even mess that up.

He did most of the carrying anything needed. The grill wasn't electric so charcoal was used and he carried the bag from all the way to the basement to put it beside the grill. They preferred the old analog way arguing that the meat would taste more delicious when slightly burnt and smoked.

Ming Yu unleashed his pickiness and wouldn't let any sauce that was either too salty or sweet into the grill causing a small playful argument with Yue and Hong. Hong couldn't stand arguing about something dumb so he tried snatching away the clamp however Ming Yu didn't let him.

"Then why not make the sauce yourself? Give me that thing." He voiced out, irritated.

"No. It's my birthday."

One statement calmed his will and obediently listened to Ming Yu's nagging about the damn sauce. Yue was used to this picky side of his son that was now common whenever he was put in the kitchen so he could only laugh at Hong's predicament.

To be honest, only half of Ming Yu's meddling was about him wanting to help. The other half was because he was nervous to meet Xihan tried to keep his mind busy.

Nerve wrecking , nervousness.

Even though a year has passed and Xihan made it clear that he was hiding things, there had not been any progress since then. No further information acting as if nothing even slipped out of his mouth.

It's not like it was awkward between them. Actually, their days were lovely and the love between them was sweet and warm like always. After that day, he decided to wait for an answer until it would be bought up again.

However the dreams that haunted him after some time and the questions that kept swirling inside his head would trigger the anxiousness in his heart.

If someone were there to listen to him or read his mind, they would've got tired of it as the exact same thing was being bought up repeatedly again and again. 

But that's what feelings are.

You say you're over it, you'll deal with it or that after having a touching moment with the one you love, everything will turn out for the better.

Reality is, it doesn't work like that. You'll remember and then it'll be brought up again. It's uncontrollable.

One day  you're happy then next your sad. It's a constant repeat.

And that's what's been happening. Ming Yu was having a hard time trying to shake the questions that had been piling up in his head away. Like a constant annoying fly that was hard to swat with your hands especially recently, the dream of Xihan fading into dust would overlap the one before him and this left him shaken.

It wasn't waiting anymore, It felt as if they were running away from something undeniable.

But he did not want to run. However the one he loves didn't feel the same way.

"Hey! Watch the fire!" 

Ming Yu finally noticed the burning meat and he jerked backwards before hurriedly picking the burnt meat away from the grill only for it to fall out his grip and meet the ground. He quietly stared at the black matter before his feet and the clamp was now off his hand, taken away by his Huang father.

"Just sit and wait. If you're bored, give Xihan a call and ask where they are." He lightly pushed Ming Yu to the side and added new meat on the grill. Huang gently patted Ming Yu on the back ushering him to take his seat.

Huang had always been this way. Gentle like water, patient and understanding. He would always be there to listen and won't intrude, giving you the comfortable space needed, one that doesn't make you feel lonely.

When Ming Yu was growing up, he always felt that Huang's back was like a mountain. He never noticed it until now since back then, Huang was the kid that needed guidance and not the other way around.

This really took him back. The days where he felt invincible with the one he loves.

But like something old, pieces chipped itself off and edges crumbled.

Yue and Hong were finally finished with the sauces and the first thing that Hong had in mind was to smear his dirty fingers on Xin's face. This earned him a smack on the head the opposite of the other couple beside them. Hong put the clamp down and carefully tended on Yue's fingers. Yue kissed his forehead making him smile, rubbing the hand before letting go to flip the sizzling meat.

Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite.

The doorbell rang and Ming Yu opened the door, Yao Ren Jin and Wan Ke Er were smiling at him with baskets on their hands filled with more food and gifts while Xihan was still behind the car taking out something from the trunk. It was the size of a shoe box wrapped in blue paper.

"I made you wait long." The young child's way of talking could really humor people.

"No." Ming Yu crouched down to hug the small one before guiding him in. Ze Min wasn't with them today as a friend of his coincidentally was also celebrating his birthday on the same day and right now, the little guy was over that friend's place.

The adults were having their pleasant exchange and the young ones were left alone like always as they were not old enough for societal, political, or whatever grown up talk.

He didn't take his eyes away from Xihan expressing part of the turmoil inside his heart through it but maybe he expected too much as Xihan went to greet the Ming couple and didn't even notice it.

Ming Yu looked when his gelled back hair was ruined by Xin roughly ruffling it. Hong's eyebrow was raised and the sly grin was a easy give away of his naughty nature by suddenly picking Xihan up and caging him in his chest. The power stored within those muscles was no joke that it made him scream from fright, the anger in his eyes unable to intimidate which was cute making the childless couple chuckle in amusement.

Back on land, he sighed in relief and strongly kicked the Hong's leg that it made him grunt in pain.

This was their everyday life. But it was straining to keep up his smile.

The more beautiful this world is, the more scared he became of the fact that ... he can't let go.

If only the life here wasn't so precious.

-

The cake was out and it was time to blow on the candles.

"Make a wish." Everyone's attention were directed on Ming Yu however he only had Xihan in his eyes, his own meeting his. The adults liked the idea of having a birthday cake to wish upon and strangely this time, he felt strongly about this too.

 Naively.

Solemnly, he stared at the candle light before closing his eyes and earnestly asked.

I wish for a happy ending. That's all he asked. Is it too much to grant?

The light blew out and they cheered as if they were carrying his own joy with them.

Quickly, they handed his gifts and of course to his disappointment, they were gifts centered to the boy in his age so even if he wanted to be excited about it, he couldn't and simply nodded his head as thanks.

Xihan's gift was finally in his hand and when he opened it, he couldn't even fake a smile and gaped at him in disbelief.

It was a delicately made fountain pen, a pleasant blue and a elegant looking notebook right beside it.

"Happy birthday." He approached to hug him but Ming Yu froze unable to hug him back. 

What does this ... this...mean-

The adults surrounded him before he could ask and Xihan gathered food on his plate to eat. The table was full of Ming Yu's favorites but his appetite was now lost.

He shouldn't overthink.

He really shouldn't.

So why couldn't he just tell him straight out?

If their parent's weren't treating the night as a good excuse to drink and merry then the table would've been dreaded with silence.

-

They were still celebrating however the children were now in a room, sharing a wide bed enough to freely move their limbs and avoid putting a feet on someone's face when sleeping.

But how could he when the questions simply grew? 

"Are you ... awake?" He snuggled on Xihan's back, taking the little one in his embrace to calm himself with his warmth.

"I am." he answered curtly.

"Why did you gave me ... those." A pen and paper, an Author's necessity. If this was a sign, then Xihan was simply revealing too much. 

He didn't answer but turned his body to look at Ming Yu's eyes. Whatever he's been trying to express through them, Ming Yu couldn't understand as he himself was too confused at the moment. He patiently waited for him to relay it in words, explanation, whatever he had been hiding. His expectations carried hope, part anxious of what was to come.

And it was all because of him.

This man centered his world.

"Not yet." Xihan traced his face with his thumb feeling how the skin felt so perfect to the touch. His eyes wandered on Ming Yu's eyebrows, nose up till it's tip, the thin pinkish lips. Just observing ... saving it to memory. Never be forgotten.

Lovely, perfect. 

This was the reason why Ming Yu never pushed him. Clueless as he is, how can he fail to recognize Xihan's torn smile?

"When?" Soon?

"I don't know." His eyes dimmed but the smile on his face didn't fade.

"When you're older?" How long will it take?

"Maybe."

"Xihan." 

"Hmn?"

"Do you want to know what I wished for?" Ming Yu tightly gripped their entwined hands. It was as if they time skipped into the future and again, the vision came back to sabotage him at the wrong time making it hard for him to continue.

"Don't say it." Xihan tenderly whispered close to his face, breath tickling the tip of his nose.

"I've been married to you for a long long time ... I know it's hard." His hand moved and rested on Xihan's chest.

"In here." Pain. In the inside.

"I'll wait ... but don't make me wait for too long." Ming Yu wasn't disheartened and compromised. 

"I'll try."

"I'll continue asking."

"Okay."

"So give me an answer soon and don't distance yourself from me." This was the last thing that he wanted to experience from him. A thin wall was already standing in between them, further distance would only make it far worse.

Ming Yu pulled him into his arms and hugged him tightly. His chin was touching his head.

"I can't sleep."

"Me neither."

But never did he thought that Xihan was buried too deep.

-

A month later.

"How about now?"

"No. Not yet."

-

Two months later.

"Now?"

"No."

-

Three Months later

"No."

-

6th month.

-

8th

-

A year 

-

Much later.

-

In the end, neither did he expect that Ming Yu really got tired of waiting.

That's a lie. Underneath the painful throbbing of his heart, he knew of this.

Just ... failed to predict it. To be so sudden.