Shen Xihan moved his head to look around his room one last time before he would leave.

He held a box full of things he wished to throw. Old sport medals, pictures, medical books, all the things that he didn't wish to be reminded off were about to disappear.

Knock. Knock.

Uncle Mo slowly opened the door only to see the young master who was on his wheelchair was staring at a photo before crumpling it then throwing it into the box without care.

"... we are ready to depart. All had been prepared." Uncle Mo hoped that things wouldn't turn out this way yet it did. Still, he decided to respect Shen Xihan's decision and said nothing.

Shen Xihan gave one last glance to the box and handed it to him.

" You know what to do."

-

Outside, his family were already waiting so they could send him off. The unwilling Shen Liangxi was crying while stubbornly standing before the car door intent to hinder him with his small body.

"Move." Xihan coldly said.

"No! I WON'T! Run me over for all I care!"

Shen Xihan didn't wish to argue and hinted Uncle Mo to take him away with his eyes. Mother Shen was also in tears yet didn't dare stop them from taking Liangxi away since she understood why her eldest decided to leave.

"Xiaohan ... do you have everything packed?"

"Yes mother." Shen Xihan blandly replied.

Father Shen deeply gazed at him and Shen Xihan faced it head on. Neither backed down so Father Shen frowned before sighing in defeat.

"Learn what you need to learn. When I think you're ready to take over the company you can come back and help me manage. Don't let them look down on you just because you cant use those two legs, you only need functional brain to work a business anyways."

This was Father Shen's special way of comforting his son yet was met with a slap from his wife.

"Hey! can't you be a little more sensitive! How can you-"

"Can what?! Haven't you figure out that it's because your so sensitive about our son's legs that he's been avoiding you?! He's crippled! crippled! But so what? Who dare talk back about I'll f*cking burn their homes down and see if they have some sh*t to say to my face! hmph!"

"You ruffian! Aren't you embarrassed when you act like this?!"

"Nag! Nag! Nag! What good are you other than nagging!"

"Mother. Father." Shen Xihan was too impatient to leave unwilling to stay even a minute more and and listen their quarrels.

"Xiaohan, be sure to tell Old Mo if you feel any discomfort okay? Call us often, come back during the new years and-"

"Go! go! just go! Mo Qilan, hurry and drive away or my wife wont stop nagging." Father Shen's met with another slap on his back from interrupting while Uncle Mo nodded and helped Shen Xihan in. 

Mother Shen glared at her husband with resentment but was then suddenly pulled in his arms and he lovingly rubbed her back.

"That brat is trying his best in his own way ... he knows what to do so let's stop being a burden to him understood?"

With her husband saying his thoughts straight out, Mother Shen could only hug him back in sadness and gaze at the car in silence...

Shen Xihan looked at the mansion once more and noticed the crying Shen Liangxi was staring at him from a window, eyes filled with unwillingness to part.

But his decision ... was the best for them both.

Away from his little brother, he would save himself from the guilt that kept scratching his heart.

He doesn't regret saving his younger brother in that accident for he knew he did what he wanted at that moment. Yet the more in despair he was, the more he blamed the people around him and he hated himself for it. 

It felt disgusting. Disgusting how resentful he was feeling when it was nobody's fault.

So he chose to distance himself.

Repeatedly, his mother told him that 'things will get better' or 'there's hope' yet he ... couldn't believe in that meaningless empty, pitiful words anymore as the pain easily eroded them away.

Every failed attempt pushed him down underground. That's what depression does to a person.

Multiple times he tried convincing himself the same positive wishes yet in every single day he saw himself in the mirror, nothing has changed. The fact that he couldn't walk and was stuck in a wheelchair. 

That the dreams he worked hard to achieve vanished in a flash.

At this point, no matter what anyone said they could not convince him ... even he himself.

He continued to lash out as it was hard to accept that a teen like him now was living a life he never wanted, haunted by the fears he now had to face. Time passed and he achieved his calm but since then, everything around him changed.

Life ... living , became dull.

Even though the sky in his eyes was gray, he didn't wish to become a burden. His title as the Shen family's heir couldn't let him and ironically thanks to this, he couldn't fully give up on himself even if he wanted to.

He changed his dream course into business course and abandoned everything that he planned out for himself before. He couldn't stand the familiar faces so he chose to fly out of the country avoiding distractions and study hard to excel in it. He wanted them all to understand that his disability couldn't be mocked, that the wheelchair wasn't a poor man's seat but a throne.

[Passengers of flight 6FXXX please proceed to gate ...]

"Young master Shen ..." Uncle Mo called out since Xihan had his eyes closed.

Slowly, the teen's eyelashes fluttered open yet rather than the slightly naive look that adults would expect, his gaze was sharp with a tinge of intimidation that would make one understand how this child was not to be taken lightly at all.

Shen Xihan imitated his Father's confident presence by sitting upright with his head held high and waved his hand to go.

On this day, Shen Liangxi's warm brother ... had drifted away.

-

Shen Xihan, 25

He grunted from exhaustion when he reached his office and added pressure on his forehead with his fingers. Uncle Mo followed him in and when he saw this, he walked to his right to prepare him some coffee.

Somebody knocked and when Uncle Mo went to see, it was Shen Xihan's secretary who came to remind him about the rest of the day's schedule.

"There's still the appointment with Miss Hamilton. Would you like for me to cancel that?" As his secretary, she noticed that her boss was unwell so she asked this.

"No. i'll sort through the documents for a bit. Remind me again in 10 minutes." After listening to him, she said no more and nodded then left.

"Young master ... you didn't sleep last night. Wouldn't it be better to call it a day?" Uncle Mo was worried.

"I'm not even sure if I can sleep tonight so what difference will it make?" When saying this, Shen Xihan rubbed his thigh as he remembered last night.

"Are they ... still in pain?"

"No. " Sometimes Shen Xihan would experience pain on his lower legs without warning and afterwards, he could only stay up the whole night, pondering. Such pain would trigger every time he suffers through a nightmare so he concluded that the pain was influenced by his dreams and not physically real.

That torment ... even now it lingers at the back of his head. The cramped room ...

"Uncle Mo, prepare the car. Take the documents with you." Remembering made him feel stiffed and his wide office started to come off as narrow so he'd rather leave.

 A bit regretful, Uncle Mo put the coffee down leaving it to cool.

Like everyday, Shen Xihan who was currently the head of the company branch in country leisurely made his way out of the company doors. Nobody dared to look longer as ever since Shen Xihan took over, not staring at him became an internal law.

No one wanted to brush the boss wrongly as his achievements was known in the company. At such a young age he had overtook most of them so there was no room for judging him. Other than a few prideful fools, Shen Xihan's influence had almost taken over this branch and they knew that this was simply a start.

The appointment was to be held at a private restaurant. It was the other party who decided the meeting place and from the looks of it, it didn't seem that they wanted to entertain him somehow and keep him for a longer conversation.

In the private room was an innocent looking woman with brown hair and a kind smile.

When she saw him, her eyes didn't move much but had sure observed the man before her. A pressuring aura, cold and sharp eyes. She'd seen similar people like him yet none who was this unfeeling. Although his face wasn't impressive to drool at, the aura around him was enticing.

Shen Xihan coldly stared at her yet his intimidation didn't make her falter.

"Pleasure to meet you Mr. Shen, My name is Elise, Elise Hamilton. My father sent me to talk concerning our future cooperation?" She kindly held out her hand yet Shen Xihan ignored it. Why would Hamilton send his daughter if there was no hidden intent?

"Since your father sent you does this mean he isn't that interested in working with us after all?" His words made her stiffen yet the smile on his face didn't change.

"Please, let's not draw conclusions that quick. I've been working under my father so sending me here would be him concluding that I am suitable for the job." She confidently answered him back.

"Then don't waste my time and let's talk." Shen Xihan disliked the look at the woman's face.

She was meticulous, clearly explained the advantage and disadvantages and came up possible solutions that might even benefit them long term. Uncle Mo who was listening was quite surprised at the woman's ability but didn't think too much as he thought that it was given due to her upbringing.

"So this contract-" She was about to push the papers for signing when Shen Xihan's phone suddenly rang.

"Uncle Mo." He took the phone out of his pocket with Uncle Mo pushing his wheelchair out of the door. He didn't even excused himself yet Elise was calm and understood that she just needed to wait.

There was only one number that he couldn't ignore.

"David?" This was his psychiatrist.

"Old Mo called me earlier this morning and said you haven't been sleeping. How are you?"

"I'm ... getting by. Can you prescribe me something that'll help?" The tiredness in his voice was evident.

"Xihan, your antidepressants should've given you the sleep you need. Why don't you take a break from work? How about I ... come over tomorrow?"

"..."

"I can't always have my appointments with you through video calls. You know that right?"

"..." A sense of discomfort started to arise in his chest.

"Try thinking that a friend is coming over and not a doctor. I'll visit wearing casual clothes will bring nothing with me and just talk, how about that?"

"..."

"Xihan ... are you okay?"

"I'll call you back." He ended it and took a deep breath.

Therapy. He wasn't young anymore and understood that this was something that was good for him.

But until now he'd been pushing it back and ever since he started to do so, his life seems to be going well in a sense where it doesn't hinder with his work.

Uncle Mo solemnly gazed at him and he understood what he wanted to remind him of. 

It was the argument that they had a few months ago. He suffered a bad flashback and started vomiting at night, he was too riled up and raised a fist about to strike down to his thigh and luckily Uncle Mo caught it before he could. It took a long while for him to calm down when Uncle suddenly bought up therapy. How it was time to face his fears and that when he's better, the doctor could check on his legs and see if he could walk again.

Him bringing it out at the wrong moment triggered him to lash out and wreck his bedroom yet Uncle Mo didn't stop his words and said that since 10 years passed when he was released from the hospital, medical studies and procedures were more advanced and that he should regain hope.

It took a while for Shen Xihan to gather back his full composure and stopped ignoring him but often, Uncle Mo would look at him with the same gaze, reminding him of it.

What he said made sense, Shen Xihan knew this ...

But the first step was too big. It felt as if he was asked to cross mountains with just one step.

It wasn't that he can't hope rather he did not need to.

Everything that he layered out before him was a life he prepared for his crippled self. Rather than risking a huge disappointment, he'd rather suffer a few nightmares and loose sleep than let his cold heart feel the warmth of pain again.

He had no reason to change. Enough to convince him to find courage again.

"Let's go back." Shen Xihan looked away, keeping his eyes in front of him.

For Uncle Mo, Shen Xihan was like a nephew to him so despite knowing that pressuring him would earn dislike, little by little ... he wished that the young master would slowly reconsider it...

Although Shen Xihan felt no hope, Uncle Mo continued to hope for him.

"Yes, young master."

-

On the hallway, the familiar waitress passed by and looked at him worriedly.

The closer they got into the room, the louder they heard Elise voice from the outside with the door slightly ajar.

"It's final! Soon after i'm done with this contract i'll be flying off country B!" The person on the other side of the call said something that upset her and her voice raised a pitch higher.

"I'm sorry that but I don't have time to waste associating with a damn cripple! If you wished to send someone next time then send Ellaine, I don't want to be part of your nasty schemes. Dad for f*cks sake I'm bad at pretend that I care didn't you know that?!"

Her father probably tried convincing her with something as her voice went back to normal yet the more she listened, the deeper her frown went more unwilling than before.

There was no change in Shen Xihan's expression as being judged like this wasn't new. The more he achieved with his disability, the more people looked up to him to earn his favor using his disability as a chance to act nice and try to sympathize with him.

"Whatever, I won't be part with this. It would have been okay if it was someone normal and less problematic-"

He was bullied, mocked and laughed at. Her judging him by mobility was nothing but harmless now after going through all of that.

He was used to it.

But since the attitude of the other party was like this then he'd rather just call the deal off and save time so he opened the door surprising her. Her eyes widened but before she could end the call, Uncle Mo grabbed the phone from his hand and gave it to his hand.

"Mr. Hamilton?" Shen Xihan's tone of voice wasn't welcoming.

M-Mr. Shen ... ah, it is good to hear from you did my daughter-

"I won't sign, goodbye."

What ... ah! Mr. Shen I-

The call died and he gave it back to Uncle Mo for him to return it. Ms. Elise Hamilton snapped out of it and took the phone back then looked away, aware that he must have heard her. She understood that she had said too much and packed up everything without a word, lowered her head and left without apologizing.

In her head she self righteously thought that since a cripple like him took this path, Shen Xihan should have been prepared to hear such words so there was nothing to be guilty for.

He didn't want to argue with a woman and besides, if the Hamiltons were to suffer a loss that woman would go down with it.

He'll think about this incident at a later time but for now, he needed to rest.

In his house there was only him and Uncle Mo. There wasn't anything remarkable inside it and to be honest if Uncle Mo wasn't with him then it might as well been empty.

He freshened up and this time, Uncle Mo successfully made him coffee. Coffee for him was a stress reliever and the caffeine never really kept him awake when he needed that even now, his eyelids threatened to close up in the middle of drinking it.

"Uncle Mo, has everything been prepared?" Unable to fight the drowsiness, Shen Xihan put the coffee down his bedside table and one by one, he gently pulled his legs up onto the bed.

"The flight has been booked and young master Liangxi will be waiting for us at the airport."

"Wasn't he ... busy?" He felt a bit, hesitant with the idea.

"It has been years since he last saw you ..." Uncle Mo didn't continue his words. "Rest well." He took away the coffee cup leaving Shen Xihan alone in his room.

It was still late afternoon so with the help of a remote, the blinds automatically lowered itself blocking the stubborn sunlight. The room would be left in total darkness so he turned the lamp on for light.

Shen Xihan pulled on his blanket and comfortably shifted his body onto the soft mattress. He scrolled through the emails on his phone checking them one last time, careful to not miss anything before putting it down beside him.

There was a glass of water on his bed side which reminded him that he hadn't taken his medication for today. He pulled on the drawer to take a bottle, shook it and  took two antidepressant pills on his hand. He then popped it in his mouth and swallowed it into his system with water.

"Hah ..." he sighed, exhausted.

It was time to go back home ... Shen Xihan felt conflicted knowing this but with drowsiness on his side, he couldn't immerse into his thoughts for long.

Whatever things he had on his mind, it wouldn't change the fact that Father Shen wanted him back.