The academic year ended, and it's vacation time. It's summer already, the sun is out, and it's freaking hot.

Ley and his family are spending their time together in their private resort. He invited me to join them, and I immediately refused his offer as it's the only time where they can all be together, and I don't want to spoil that precious moment from them being a freeloader. I would love to be near the sea, but I have more important things to do on my own.

I'm in my room, lying in my bed looking at the ceiling for hours now, and there's nothing to do. It's not actually like that, there are things to be done, and I feel like not doing it. I've lost interest, and it has been more than a week now. I don't even have the slightest desire to step out of this room. Manang Linda had been giving me meals all along.

Since I've been here all this time, Manang can't get to clean my place, and now, it's a huge mess. You can see my used clothes everywhere. The floor is a mosaic of garbage as it's full of candy wrappers, scratch papers, etc.

One time, I was reading my usual BL novels, and I felt kinda horny in one of the books I'm reading. As the chapter continues, it's getting spicier and hotter because of an erotic scene. I couldn't help to be curious about how does it feel to be ejaculating. What does it give to them? Is it really that stimulating? Thinking through, I didn't notice myself touching my genitalia and started stroking up and own.

"Ughhh," a little moan of mine.

I continued moving my right hand, and as I was doing it, it's also getting faster and faster. Trying to keep my voice low to avoid making a noise, I was already biting my left hand to minimize the sound I'm producing.

Minutes had passed, and suddenly I felt it was my peak or likely being on the ninth cloud. After a while, there was white, warm, and viscous liquid. It was dripping off from the tip of my thingy. It was my first time jerking off. I was smelling my cum, and just like what they said, it did smell like bleach.

"Knock, knock, knock."

"Fuck," I uttered from being startled.

Scared of someone finding out what I was doing, I quickly brought my pajama up. Being the clumsy person I am, I fall off the bed and hit the floor.

"Ouch!" I spoke from pain. But still, get up to open the door."Ziggy are you okay?" Manang Linda asked from outside."I'm okay, Manang," I said as soon as I opened the door."Are you sure?" She once asked to confirm my well-being as she looks not quite convince of my response to her. "Yes, Manang. You don't have to worry." I assured her. I smiled compliments on what I've told her."Okay, here's your lunch," She replied and handed me my food, "but still you should go out and have fun if you are not busy. You shouldn't spend all your time locking yourself alone," she continued and left."Sure, Manang. I'll do that one of these days," I said to her even if she's already on the stairs going down, and I closed the door.

I ran to the sink and washed my hands as it was sticky. I also wash my face and look in the mirror.

"What was I doing?" I asked as I stared at myself in the mirror's reflection.

I was tapping my face with two of my hands to wake me up and to get myself together.

"That's not the usual me," I said and went out of the bathroom.

I walked straight to my table and had my food. After eating, I went to my bed and started reading again for hours and finally falling asleep.

The next day, I plan to do the same routine as always. However, I remember what Manang said yesterday. Thus, I get up from the bed and head to the bathroom to clean myself up.

"Maybe Manang was right. Perhaps, I really need to spend some time outside," me talking alone while scrubbing my skin.

I put on some jeans and a plain white shirt. That will do. I'm just going to stroll a little in the mall and go home.

~after a few hours~

Been here at the mall for hours now, and I went to Librory already. The bookworm in me was happy due to the haul of new books I purchased, mostly new BL novels. I also went to a Japanese store, where I bought an Eevee headdress. You can make its ears move by squeezing its tail, I guess, hahaha. I'm not sure what it is called, but there's something to be squeezed to start the ears flopping. It's so cute.

Oh! I forgot to tell you that Pokemon is really close to my heart, and Eevee was my favorite of them all. Aside from being too adorable, the fact that it can evolve to many different types makes me so thrilled. So, I had to buy that headdress.

I was walking on the third floor when I noticed that there was a painting exhibit. Excited about the idea, I rushed to where it was displayed.

As I sight-see, I was fascinated and amazed, how this work of art bears so many emotions and meanings. But there's a painting that caught my eyes as I felt warmth looking on it. It has a man in a sitting position covering his face with his arm length as he holds three yellow flowers on his hands. I'm not sure of what it was, but I think it is a sunflower. For some unknown reason, my mind recreated when Shane gave me a flower on Valentine's Day.

I'm interested in buying it, yet I can't afford to splurge so much money. The painting was over a hundred thousand, and Dreil will kill me if I take that home.

I spent another hour there and was about to go out when I saw Solane standing in front of the painting where I was also looking an hour ago, the painting of a man holding flowers. I continued my way out and left the place as I knew she might be with Shane. I wouldn't want to witness that.

Before heading home, I took a short detour on Café Blanca to buy my usual jasmine tea and blueberry cheesecake. It's been a while now since the last time I had them.

Today, I chose to sit near the counter so we could have a little conversation. Liam was the only one there. He's as energetic as ever and still enjoys teasing me that he'd take me on a date. I just ignored that joke of him, and we had some catching up on our lives since it's almost a month now that we're on vacation.

"Are you still not considering dating me? I mean, us being boyfriends?" Liam changed the topic back at it again. He looks serious now.

I could not speak a thing. Completely silenced and felt uneasiness.

"There is nothing much that I can offer, but I'd be proud to be your man," he added.

"You aren't even trying to court me. Hahaha," I laugh awkwardly, breaking the tense atmosphere around us as I take what Liam said as a joke.

"I wished that's really true of you," I added and smiled. I was surprised at the next thing that Liam did. He stole a kiss on my cheek.

"I'm serious Ziggy, I'd do anything you asked. Even if it's a courtship that you want," he responded, and for seconds, I could not move.

"It's already dark. I gotta go, Liam," I told him to avoid his last statement and quickly left Café Blanca.

My heart was racing, and I think, I'm all red.