✎ Mid 652 - Serbein Empire
Mandated by the church, a delegation composed of the best exorcists of the Kingdom escorted by more than two hundred elite knights were galloping towards a village in the Serbein Empire. Convinced that the origin of the evil that has recently invaded the area is precisely in this place, borrowing the glorious name of God, the delegation's mission is to eradicate the evil responsible for the greatest plague that has struck the eastern lands in recent years.
To get to this remote place, the delegation supported by the Divine crossed mountains and plains to finally arrive at the edge of the forest near the small village designated as the cradle of the dark forces.
None of the glorious beings chosen doubted for a moment the triumph to come. To defeat these green devils, whose approximate number, after careful investigation, must be around 80,000, against their elite delegation chosen by the highest representatives of the church and with God's blessing, even ten times that number would be no obstacle to victory.
Not wanting to give the green demons time to flee, after a meeting that brought together the three highest officers of the proud delegation, it was concluded that the attack would be launched as soon as the first rays of sunlight tore through the inky veil of the moonless night.
The hours passed quickly and as they whipped their horses, the dawn had barely broken that they were already galloping into the village.
Knocking over the modest stalls of the few merchants already open and yelling to clear the way to the villagers unaware of the danger that a charge of horsemen launched at full speed represents, they continued to charge until out of the village, they entered a vast forest surrounded by high mountains.
The sun was already high in the sky when the sharp ears of the delegation members heard the first cries emanating probably from the enemy troops.
More confident than ever in the success of their sacred mission, but not unaware of this position in the middle of enemy territory, the captain of the knights proudly climbed on the back of his white horse who reared with dignity under his command, brandished his broad sword.
It is precisely at this glorious moment, when in response to their superior, the knights were about to draw their Adamantine swords from their sheaths, that a deep pink mist seeming to have come to swallow them but whose sweet smell would certainly please the greediest children, plunged their valiant hearts in a relative feeling of insecurity.
Like all his comrades, lost in a pink world with a sweet smell of candy, one of the knights suddenly came back to his senses when a drop of rain landed on the tip of his nose.
(Dong, dong, dong)
Just as his hand was moving towards his face, a deafening noise resembling that of a bell forced him to stop his gesture and, alarmed by this sound that had no reason to be in the heart of a forest, he quickly placed his hand on the pommel of his sword.
Unidentified voice A: "Did you know that the city had organized a carnival?"
Unidentified voice B: "Another attempt by the progressives to get us to accept their Gay Pride."
Unidentified voice A: "Hm? I'm not sure that's the case. Anyway, excuse me Madam but I have to meet my daughter at Brent Cross Shopping Centre London."
(Dong, dong, dong)
His red eyes detailing the fat woman whose arms already busy holding a huge television don't allow her to properly eat the donut trapped between her teeth, surprised by something that just landed gently on his nose, it's without really needing to think about it that Takeo directs his hand towards his face.
Too slow of mind to have the time to realize that it is only a common raindrop, it is only when the water coming from the sky starts to surge on his naked skin that the young Japanese dressed in a simple underwear, starts to panic.
"Did anyone remember to bring rain gear?"
No more motivated than that to answer to an exhibitionist punk and having a fatter problem to deal with, as a school psychologist in his past life, James who already saw himself forming a couple with the beautiful but mentally deficient Jenny, stares with hatred at the fat woman who is trying to find an electrical outlet in the middle of a field.
Ignoring James' thoughts, with her arms stretched above her slender shoulders, with the goal of finding the way forward, Jenny is currently lifting the cat's corpse to the sky.
"Oh my God, my donut fell into a puddle."
Aside from Martha who, under a rain that has become torrential puts her huge TV on the ground to pick up her soaked donut, as always during a crisis period, ignoring the neighbor's problems that cannot solve their own, the three water-dripping hair idiots see their own priorities first.
"Follow me, Rasputin said that not far from here, there is a small magic cave."
Worried after quickly looking in the direction of his yellow boxers which in addition to not being waterproof, now reveals the outline of his little brother, Takeo rushes after the big-breasted beauty who seems to be determined to take the lead in this very, interesting little group.
"You silly girl, don't eat something that's been lying around on the floor."
Exasperated by the obviously overweight woman who has just sat down in the ever-widening puddle to peacefully munch on her donut, James grits his teeth. For more than twenty years he has been trying to teach this idiot woman the basics of reason and even today, the mouth on legs nonchalantly proves to him that his long lessons aiming at making her a respectable citizen did not bear their fruits.
His head already making him suffer enough and not having any more candies which could allow him to relax enough to forget, even if only one moment, the existence of this cumbersome woman, the former school psychologist looks away from the gluttonous woman who chews noisily her cake.
Immediately more serene when his eyes rest on the magnificent pair of buttocks of the beautiful nutcase, while he is about to leave to the pursuit of her long legs, a particularly unpleasant voice makes the wet hairs on his white arms stand up.
"My little cabbage, my television is really heavy. Could you carry it for me?" ✏