Hellbound [11] – Year 12 – Pain
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Tears, just endless tears. I am begging my mother, let us find a necromancer. Let my father come back to life. She hugs me close and tells me it is impossible and my magic which was still training leaks out in pain painting the air around me.

I just want to hold him, I want to be treated like I am special, I want to prove that maybe I am a little as he praises my magic but all that is left are tears. My mother is crying, I think I made it worse by trying to get him back. I had never known loss before that car accident took my father. It is just life my mother told me and that magic can't fix everything no matter how strong you are.

 

I want to believe she is wrong, that magic can fix everything but when I keep pushing due to the pain she finally sits me down. I think I caused her pain to be worse...

"Alex, he wasn't mortal bound. His soul has already left, his body has stopped functioning. No necromancer can work with that, no spiritualist can work with it. If he was on life support and mortal bound then maybe he might have been able to return but loss is a part of life,"

"Why couldn't dad become a warlock, he could have saved himself,"

"There is value in being human at times, you know. He was happy to see our world but his family wasn't like ours. He would always have to hide himself. Humans do so many things. They create the things you like, discover new things to create and so many other wonderful things,"

I push her away crying.

"And created the cars that killed dad!" I run up to my room after that, my magic too unstable to teleport like I normally do. She still didn't manage to reply after my outburst, I likely hurt her. I just cry under my covers. I know she checks on me from the doorway every so often but she is giving me space. She knows when I need to be alone.

 

The next few weeks are awful. We are both crying lots, sometimes just minor things would set her off. My mother once just made two drinks as if by habit that my father was still here and broke down. I found one of his favourite books still on my bookshelf and could only hug it and crying my eyes out.

 

I had always been a loner but now I was actively avoiding people at school, my teachers tried to help but I pushed them away. It wasn't like I needed to do well and the only reason I felt I did was to get praise. Praise that likely wouldn't come again. I cried whenever something reminded me of him and in science class that was a lot. He loved to study the natural workings of things and when discovering magic actually existed? He tried to study that too using the scientific method. He never made much progress but it was his way to connect with my magic and I was proud as he praised me. Told me how incredible I was for doing what so many scientists hadn't managed yet.

 

Months, that is how long it was for things to start getting back to normal. My mother was still showing signs she wasn't sleeping well, the dark under her eyes were almost a permanent feature in all that time. She was still going out, keeping the realm safe and all that but she was more careless and starting to show injuries more and more.

"Mum, I am going with you, I can protect you," I grabbed onto her hugging her. She had just returned and was badly bruised with a lot of cuts. I didn't want to lose her and that was when things changed.

 

She started to take me with her to everything she had left me out of. At first, I was slow to adapt but soon I was supporting her then actively starting to help her. The injuries generally stopped. I had a few minor ones honestly I couldn't even say they were from what we were doing, just my own failing but I wore them like badges of honor.

 

Slowly life got back to normal. We decided to move to another house to get away, we are in the same area and just needed a fresh start without all the memories but honestly, I still was using memory magic to remember his face, to hear his praise. To see him help me with my homework or fiddle with something that I could have done with magic but just wanted to do with him.

 

I likely matured a lot from all the pain. I stopped crying as much, leaving my old crybaby days behind. The tears still came but I was much more resilient. I had renewed focus on my magic training and even had more time to work on it since I wasn't doing anything with my father anymore. I was even more of a shut-in. My mother made sure to fill the gap in my heart as much as she could but I was pushing for magic more to leave the human world behind. She relented a bit at times letting me read some of her books and then the more advanced ones. At other times she wouldn't even let me touch them, realm binding the whole house so I couldn't even sneak a look. I started to get better at pushing against her realm and I think that made her happy. I was starting to get better at defending myself.

 

Training, magic, isolation. Life went on.

 

But I still didn't have him.

Neil Reid, my father. My dad who I loved so much was gone...

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