“Tell me everything!” Alessa roared as she swung a fist to strike Rose. Again. 

However, before it landed on her side, I caught it, much to everyone’s surprise. 

Partially battered, Rose raised her messy face towards me. She was silent, but I could see the apprehension in her eyes. Alessa had ordered me to give her some space, so she could ‘interrogate’ Rose. While Alessa would never think of such a thing of me, I imagine that Rose expected me to start doing the same and I can’t blame her. 

After all, what more would she expect from ‘Alex’ if not more of her typical behavior? 

Alessa had neither said nor done anything to convince me, but I had followed along with what she said. I had stayed back and watched the poor Rose be abused. Willingly. 

Remnants of Alex’s weakness sprang out from deep within my chest, clawing viciously at my heart. That weakness was her lethargy and it had been strong enough to suppress her better nature for far too long. Even now, I had been so very close to falling victim to it as well. 

That hopeful spark that was hers is now mine, but the same is true for her shame and regret. 

Rose flinched as I knelt down beside her, but the apprehension that had been in her eyes soon turned to bewilderment. I wiped the tears and snot from her face with a cloth that Narses left behind, much to Alessa’s disgust. 

“I shouldn’t have let things come to this. I should have done something sooner. I’m sorry.” 

“Wha- What do you mean?” Rose asked. When I turned to face Alessa, her face asked the same question. 

“I guess I went a little far, but can you really blame me?” Alessa said. “She was complicit in trying to kill you, my one and only daughter!” 

“It’s not you that I blame. It’s Dahlia.” 

Alessa opened her mouth, as if to say something, but she just raised an eyebrow. 

“My memories,” I continued to say, “they’ve been coming into focus in bits and pieces, forcing attention onto themselves. Even the ones I tried to bury.” 

I looked at the two of them trying to figure out what I mean. I want to tell them, but my heart feels like it's going to sink further into my stomach. My hands were clammy, as well. My ears, ringing. I’d say its Alex’s fear, but its mine too. I’m afraid, as Alex had been, of what they might say if I told them.  

But I’m not Alex. If I am to be free to live life, for both our sakes, I have to tell them. 

“I’ve helped Dahlia do horrible things around the town and I want you two to listen to them.” I said, gritting my teeth and averting my eyes from Alessa. “I’m going to start with the worst. I’m going to start with Paige.” 

“That girl... She was...” 

“She killed herself.” 

Rose covered her mouth and glanced at Alessa. I don’t know what kind of face she made, but the stutters in her voice almost made my eyes well up with tears. Almost. I took a few deep breaths and focused on what I wanted to say. 

For a few moments, there was only silence. Alessa didn’t make a sound and I was unable to speak, until I looked Rose in the eye. 

She was no longer afraid. Instead, she looked at me with a strange hope, maybe even a certain kind of strength. She wanted me to keep going, needed me to, and I felt the same. 

“Dahlia had liked a boy who liked someone else. It was just a normal crush. It was. She tried to win him over, but nothing she had could make him look at her. At least, not the way he looked at Paige. When she realized she couldn’t have him, possess him...  

I suspected Dahlia was going to do something, but I was so weak then, so pathetic. I saw Paige wandering into the forest. She was so happy, then, and bounced with every step. I didn’t call out to her, never even tried. I just stood back and watched. 

I was still there when she limped out of the forest, stripped and beaten, covering herself with the few scraps of her clothes she had left. She wouldn’t say what happened to her or even why she had gone into the forest in the first place. She became so withdrawn, never smiling the way she used to. 

It got worse when Dahlia spread her rumors. So many of the other children gossiped about how Paige had relations with beasts in the forest. They took the rumors in stride, with no regard for Paige, but I was worse. 

I did nothing. I continued to do nothing. What happened to Paige was my fault, because I chose to do nothing. No matter what I do now, it’s-” 

Alessa walked past me and out the door, but she didn’t look at me. Not even once. Her face showed no emotions, either. 

I wanted to call out to her, grab her hand, but I couldn’t. What will happen to me now? Have I made a mistake?  

No, there was no mistake. The truth needed to be set free, then Alex and I could also be free from guilt. So, why does it have to hurt so much? 

Alessa isn’t even my real mother, but I wanted to know how she felt. Maybe everything I’m feeling is all just Alex’s personality, coming back to haunt me. After all, I can feel how she felt. I can feel all her guilt, her festering resentment for herself, but I still need to know. 

Her silence was more terrible than if she had started yelling. At least then, I might know how she felt. That is, if ‘Alex’ can still consider herself a part of Alessa's family. 

I could almost laugh. Already, I had alienated the person that should have been the closest to me. I didn’t even know how much I needed her until she had gone.  

I really am alone now, huh? 

“Alex.” Rose called to me, softly, as tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn’t handle staying and leaving things as they were. I ran after Alessa. However, that Alessa who had been so concerned for me, for Alex, was nowhere in sight. 

And so, I ran from Alessa’s house. Again. Perhaps for the very last time. 

I ran to the place that Alex had always wanted to visit. I ran to the place that I needed to visit. 

A short distance away from town, I hopped a gate and ran past numerous headstones. Paige’s mother had buried their young daughter in the town's cemetery, but the newest ones went to the back. I traced a finger along Paige’s name, etched onto her headstone, and felt the smoothed edges. It had remained the newest addition for all this time, even if it was smoothed by weather. Years of weather. 

How many times had Paige’s mother visited her grave? How many flowers had she left? Even now, I can see withered traces of the poppies that Paige had loved so much. 

My legs shook as I dropped to my knees. The tears in my eyes began to rain down onto the hallowed earth below me, but are they my tears? Alex’s tears? I don’t know anymore. I don’t care. I just need to fucking cry. 

Then, beside me, Rose knelt down. She was silent, but when she threw her arms around me and I felt her gentle warmth, she said more to me than any words could. I buried myself into her embrace, the way Alex buried her secrets into herself. 

If Paige was still here, wouldn’t she be around Rose’s age? Want kind of friends would they be if they were just given the time? 

“I don’t want to be this person anymore.” I whimpered to Rose. “I don’t want to be Alex. I hate her. She’s the worst!” 

I mean, clearly not as bad as Dahlia, but still... 

“You can be better.” Rose said, stroking my hair. 

“How could you know?” 

“You and I have been together for a very long time. Right now, I think I know you better than you know yourself.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You feel responsible, because you did nothing, but the Alex I knew was too meek to even acknowledge such a thing. That’s how I know you can be better.” 

She’s right, but Alex wasn’t meek. She was weak. I thought my first target was supposed to be Dahlia, but it was actually Alex. I need to eliminate her weakness, the weakness that remains inside of me. 

I had promised to live life for both our sakes, however, I had only done so because I gained the spark in her soul that gave her hope. I felt a hope that belonged to her, that poisoned her in her lethargy. She had hoped someone would do something, even when she was the only one who could do anything. 

It was a careless promise. A mistake. Something that I need to fix. 

While I was hesitant to part from Rose’s embrace, I stood nonetheless. I stood upright and proud. My promise to live life for both me and Alex hasn’t changed, but I’m the one in control. From that spark she once had, to even her name, it will all be mine. I will make it so. 

I will never again succumb to her worst impulses. 

“Thank you, Rose. You’ll never know how much you’ve helped me today.” 

“Oh, it was my pleasure.” She smiled and she was radiant. The setting sun behind her couldn’t shine as brightly as she could. Especially not now. 

“Why are you being so kind to me? Alessa, my mother, she beat you. I didn’t even say anything until after it started.” 

“Because it’s not her fault. Not yours, either. It’s Dahlia’s. The only reason I was her alibi, was because she’s threatening me.” 

“Huh? Where did that even come from?” 

“Well, you shared with me and now I’ll share with you.” 

I think I understand why she’s always been so haggard. To think, she had been suffering silently all this time. Like so many others in town. Even Alex.  

I put a hand against her cheek and traced a thumb just below the dark circles under her eyes. She grew warm and a little red, flustered and uncomfortable, so I let go. 

“She must’ve been working you hard. Let me help you with that.” 

“I don’t think anyone could help me.” 

“What is she threatening to do to you?” 

“It’s not me. It’s my brother. Dahlia offered to have her family sponsor him at the Royal College at The Trident.” 

What the fuck is ‘The Trident?’ Never mind that, need to focus on what’s important. 

“Let me guess. Without that sponsorship, he’ll be expelled?” 

“Worse. Since he’s now affiliated with her family, any accusation of wrongdoing she makes against him will be that much more potent. She can have him blacklisted wherever her family has power... He might be forced to become one of those wandering adventurers just to survive!” 

Holy shit. Adventurers? Hnngg. Must focus on what matters. 

“Hey Rose. Help me kill Dahlia.” 

While she was talking about her brother, she had been so pleased. Even if it was to let me know how Dahlia was threatening him. 

Now, she’s just blankly looking at me. 

“Yay or nay? Will thee help me on mine quest to slay the witch? It shall be the grandest adventure that we can never tell anyone.” 

“Huh? Oh, sorry. I thought you asked me to help you KILL DAHLIA.” 

“Yes. That’s what I asked for. Really, I’m gonna need an answer. Also, keep your voice down.” 

Rose rubbed her tired eyes. 

“You really have changed.” 

“For the better.” 

“Right...” 

“Right! So, what’s your answer going to be?” 

“My brother... he would not be happy to find out how I had debased myself, especially for his sake. Which is why he would be much happier if I helped you, instead of Dahlia. No matter what happens. Don’t think I’ll help you kill anyone, though! Surely there are better ways we can deal with her.” 

“Glad to have you on board, partner!” I cheered as I pulled her close for a celebratory hug. 

Then, I felt a firm hand on my shoulder as I heard the words, “Can I join in on this conspiracy? I mean, I won’t help you kill anyone either. Still...” 

I quickly turned in a panic and saw that Alessa had come back! Her eyes showed a certain pain and sorrow, but she was smiling back at me as I smiled at her. 

“So, you’ve come back. Does this mean you forgive me?” 

“No matter what we do now, everything we’ve done or didn’t do... it’s all in the past. And so, we need to move forward and be better.” She said, running a hand through my hair. “Besides, you’re my daughter. I’ll always be here for you, especially to correct your behavior when it needs correcting.” 

“But will you ever forgive me?” 

“I will always love you, but like I said, you need to move forward and be better. Then, you can forgive yourself and that’s what you’ll really need.” 

“Hey, mom.” 

“Yes?” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

I know Alessa isn’t my mom, she’s Alex’s. No, mine was probably still somewhere on Earth. Maybe she might even be mourning for me. Yet, I didn't want to be alone, even in this new world. Not anymore. 

Forgive me, Alessa. I’ll tell you one day. So please, just let me have this. 

There, in front of Paige’s grave, we embraced each other. Their warmth, their love flowed into me. It eased my pain, Alex’s too, and I felt that everything was going to be alright. This is where my new adventure truly begins!