Chapter 6 – The Smile That Doesn’t Reach Your Eyes
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Tandy Bowen (1 Year Ago – Now)

One Year Ago---------

ding

ding

ding

ding

The slow and steady chimes of bells ringing could be heard, then the huge church doors were pushed open as a small procession exited the church with sad, solemn looks edged onto their faces.

Upon hearing the bell, many Boston Residents lined the sides of the street or stole glances from the safety of their homes.

The funeral was for, of course, The Johnson Family… The Community was symbolically mourning the loss of another Black Family that ended up on the wrong side of the Law without actually doing anything wrong.

Such situations were not uncommon but The Johnson Family was just too nice to be mistaken for anything short of angels to the community. If the corrupted government could kill angels without repercussion, then everyone else in the Black Community was fair game.

Four empty coffins were carried by the strongest men in the neighborhood, some even coming from rivaling gangs but it didn’t matter… all that mattered today was giving The Johnson’s the respect they had earned by supporting the community over the past couple of years.

It’s just sad that they won’t get any justice…” A passer-by sighed angrily but also in defeat.

Another random guy clenched his fist “People are paying attention… those who did this will be found or…!

Or what?” An angry teenage girl asked, “I bet they’ll only get a couple scapegoats and we’re gonna wag our tails and fall back inline… this is just the way it is around here…

Violent talks for another day guys…” A random old man stated, gesturing to the left to indicate something.

And there she was… a floral dress of pure white… a small, beautiful small hanging at the corner of her lips… however, as beautiful as she was, everyone still kept a certain distance from her.

She was too bright… abnormally bright for someone who had just lost their boyfriend… and the small smile that tugged at the corner of her lips was in direct contradiction to the occasional tears that would slip down her face.

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There Tandy stood… under the shade of her and Tyrone’s favorite tree. They would usually come here on the hot days and make out like there was no tomorrow.

Tandy glanced at the people that lined the streets as the coffins were loaded, and driven to the cemetery a couple of miles away. She knew she should have cried loudly… bawl her eyes out until there were no more tears left but all Tandy could feel was a life too big for her body.

All she felt was hope galore… hope bubbling out of her and amplifying the brightness around her. Hope was a beautiful thing but too much of anything at the wrong place and time would scare people away.

And that’s exactly what she was – a bright smile, seemingly without a worry in the world, when she should have been a girl who had lost the love of her life… maybe even something more than a lover.

Young miss… it’s time we go. Your father and mother are asking for you at home.” The Driver, Tandy’s new Driver, reported.

Tandy stared at her new driver, hating the fact that her dad had Stan replaced “Have you ever wondered what hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not or saying nothing, and wishing you had?

The Driver shrugged “Does it matter? What’s gone is gone and there is no getting it back…

With that said, The Driver walked back to the car and Tandy followed behind with measured steps… at least, that was the case until…

bump

A random stranger bumped into Tandy’s shoulder, accidentally dropping something at her feet and disappearing into the crowd of funeral onlookers.

Hey… you dropped something!” Tandy yelled, picking up a dime bag from the ground but finding nobody nearby to which it belonged “I’ll throw it away later.” She mused, but she never did throw it away.

A Week Later------

Tandy swirled around the dancefloor vigorously, submitting the entirety of her will to the raging beat of club music. She was, by far, the most beautiful thing on the dancefloor.

A twirl here… an arabesque there… a couple of spins and then a graceful brisé. Tandy was doing a mix of ballet and breaking-dancing moves, garnering massive cheers from everyone in the club but that was not why she did.

To Tandy, dancing had become more of a job than anything else. She danced because she felt like she had to, not because she loved it the same as when she was a child. Tandy was afraid that if she didn’t party every single day, she would slip into a strange state of hopefulness.

The tiring technique of dancing to loud music would bring her a few moments of peace… a few moments when she could feel something other than hope and the bubbling Life-Force that just seemed to grow more potent inside her body.

For a few moments just before exhaustion every day, Tandy would enter a brief state where her emotions were stabilized enough and she would recall Tyrone – his smile, his smooth skin, his sweet lips, the way he would nibble on her neck, the way she made sure her scent lingered on his body…

And that’s why she did it… Tandy danced to remember what she had lost, something that her ever-hopeful emotions always denied her. She found herself trapped in a self-destructive cycle with no end.

She would dance until exhausted just to remember Tyrone’s memories but whenever she recalled his memories, the hope to see him again would overcome her rational mind and she would be right back where she started – an utterly hopeful mess.

Hey, want to dance beautiful?” A random guy asked, holding her wrist and Tandy refused, pulling her hand away and exiting the club into the waiting car outside.

Tandy knew when to stop dancing, whenever someone would get so lustful that they came up to dance with her, which meant it was time to head home. She knew that if she didn’t go home at such a time, she would end up with another stranger in her bed, betraying Tyrone even in his death and making her that much more disgusted with herself.

We’re going home!” Tandy whispered, the driver sighing as he saw the young, teenage girl take out a dime bag from her purse and snort the cocaine all at once.

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I’m home!” Tandy yelled, entering the house to see the warm sight of her father guiding her mother around in a wheelchair.

Over the past week, Melissa’s condition had improved by leaps and bounds.

At least one good thing came out of this tragedy.’ Tandy thought depressingly.

Welcome home dear!” Wilson said, walking over to his daughter and giving her a small pec on the cheek.

Of course, Tandy’s mother also rolled her wheelchair over and did the same. Not long after, the family of three sat around the kitchen table and ate like any other normal family would.

Still, Tandy knew that they were not a normal family. She blamed her father for not saving Tyrone and she knew that her mother would begin modeling again as soon as she was better.

I have decided to retire from modeling…” Melissa Bowen said out of nowhere, startling Tandy and Wilson “I want to spend time with Tandy… that means you have to work hard to keep us well-fed and in the most beautiful of clothing Wilson.

Wilson laughed happily “Only the best for my girls!

A small, genuine smile crept onto Tandy’s face causing both of her parents to smile as well.

Another Week Later -------

Tandy was once again in another club, dancing her night away to the sound of club music, repeating her dangerous cycle of exhausting herself to catch a glimpse of Tyrone inside her mind once more.

Just as Tandy was close to exhaustion, someone tapped her “Hey. Wanna dance?

bang

bang

Tandy was so close to seeing Tyrone inside her mind so the small interruption made her very angry. She wasn’t even conscious of her actions when someone fell to the floor knocked out by her one-two combination punch.

You bitch… you knocked out my brother!” Another guy yelled, darting towards Tandy, starling her into a frozen state.

Tandy shut her eyes, waiting for the minor beating she would have to bear before her bodyguards realized what was happening inside the club…

However, the beating never came.

As soon as the guy threw a punch, someone strangely familiar jumped in front of Tandy, blocking the shot and returning a fist of his own that quickly dispatched the guy.

Fights were nothing new inside the club and Tandy’s bodyguards had already realized the problem so they entered the club and dragged the two guys away, probably for a more thorough beating in the alley.

You okay?” The Familiar guy asked as Tandy opened her eyes.

Tandy looked at the guy confused “Do I know you from somewhere?

I’ll give you a hint: a guy wakes up in the morning in the bed of a stranger, only to find an old man with new clothing telling him to get out since the young miss doesn’t want to see the face of the mistake she made last night.” The guy said and introduced “I am Kevin Thompson by the way.

Tandy took Kevin’s hand out of politeness “Tandy Bowen… I am sorry for what happened that morning… it’s just that… I have a boyfriend and my emotions are pretty unstable sometimes so I did what I did, but we are happy now and he’s forgiven me… so I don’t want him to think that I know you or something.

Kevin frowned and his mouth moved faster than his mind could process “Yeah… I am sorry about that… my condolences… I didn’t know your boyfriend was in prison or I would have never done what I did!

Tandy’s face grimaced at the reminder of sleeping with Kevin while Tyrone was being hanged the next morning. She felt half disgusted at herself for being reminded and half hateful to Kevin who didn’t realize that she was trying to let him down gently.

As if realizing his blunder, Kevin said “I am so sorry… I just… everyone knows you so I thought you were talking about him…I’m sorry for making that assumption. You could have gotten a new boyfriend already.

Kevin’s words just made it worse as Tandy’s eyes widened “You’re calling me a whore!

That was again not my intention…

However, Tandy had already exited the dancefloor, out of the club, and into the car waiting outside.

The Following Day -------

Tandy was seated in the VIP section of a new club that just opened. She specifically picked the furthest club away from anywhere anyone could recognize her face as ‘The Girlfriend of that guy who died’.

Tandy danced a bit in the VIP Section alone, trying to get as exhausted as possible but she was working within a limited space so it was slightly more difficult.

Compliments of a gentleman that admires you.” The Waiter said, bringing yet another bottle from Tandy’s host of secret admirers.

Ultimately she just dumped the bottle in the trash with all the others that had come her way tonight.

I have to admit… that kind of stings me,” Kevin said, jumping over the VIP line to take the couch opposite Tandy.

I picked this place specifically not to see your ugly mug again!” Tandy threatened, already picking her purse off the ground to make an early exited.

Kevin jumped in front of Tandy and knelt pleadingly “Hey… it’s a coincidence… it’s not like I stalked every club in the area to find the one you were at just to apologize for saying something that was insensitive of me.

Tandy slumped back into her seat seeing that Kevin’s apology was sincere “I may have overreacted a bit as well. You’re just a reminder of something I wanted to forget.

Kevin gestured to the Waiter who brought over a couple of non-alcoholic drinks “Then let’s just have a drink in silence… you look like that’s what you most need right now.

Tandy glanced at the drink Kevin was offering her “What’s that for? So you can roofy me?

Tandy joked but she still took the drink and had a moment alone to think of Tyrone, with Kevin there as an extra.

Two Weeks Later ------

Kevin and Tandy became fast friends, always partying together but Tandy would always dance alone and Kevin would stay around her like a bodyguard fending off the more ambitious young men in the clubs.

Suddenly, Tandy ran from the dancefloor, down the hall, and into the male’s bathroom. Kevin followed closely, already aware of the problem but still frustrated by Tandy’s increasingly growing self-destructive nature.

Kevin entered the bathroom, carefully taking a hold of Tandy’s hair and pulling it behind her ears to avoid her barf messing it up.

I’ll be fine soon…” Tandy mentioned and quickly opened her purse and took out a familiar dime bag “I am having withdrawal symptoms so I just need a little in my system and then I’ll stop.

Kevin released Tandy’s hair and smacked his hand against the sink angrily “You’re destroying yourself Tandy!... you take more drugs than the best junkies… you should be lying in a hospital bed already… stop doing this to yourself.

Tandy grew angry “You think I don’t want to stop? I fucking need it! Something is messed up with my emotions. If I don’t take the drugs, I become too fucking bubbly and happy all the time… it’s sickening and it’s how I slept with your useless fuck when my boyfriend was on death row!

Kevin had figured as much so he didn’t take offense to Tandy’s slip of the tongue. Despite their quick and honest friendship over the past two weeks, Kevin knew that Tandy saw him as nothing more than a filler who could distract her a bit.

I know… And you know how I feel about you but I can see what you need right now is a friend so I will be that for you but…” Kevin paused and reached a hand out for Tandy to take “I will help you as the friend you deserve. My only condition is that you learn to love yourself again… accept the bright person that you are. If you take my hand, you will be leaving all the things that brought you pain behind… think carefully before taking my hand.

Tandy sat up from her puking position and stared at Kevin’s outstretched hand in hesitation. She couldn’t lose Kevin but she also couldn’t let go of the pain since the pain was all that remained of Tyrone.

In the end, Tandy chose to let go of the pain… something inside her warned her against it but something, even more, wanted hope for the future… her future, a future that Tyrone would be proud of.

Kevin felt Tandy’s hand join around his and he smiled while Tandy had the opposite reaction. Tandy frowned as almost all her painful memories sank to the back of her mind, disappearing from her conscious thought but not gone.

That was weird…” Tandy whispered, standing on her feet, feeling as if a load had been taken off her shoulders.

There is no looking back now Tandy!” Kevin stated, taking her hand as they walked out of the club together.

Three Months Later ----------

Tandy was drinking on the balcony of a hotel her mother had recently purchased. After her mother had completely recovered, Melissa started a chain of her own businesses all over the country.

Currently, this was the opening of their hotel in South Boston and Melissa had chosen to name the hotel ‘Tie-Tandy Hotel’.

Tandy sat on the balcony, watching over the familiar city that seemed all too strange to her now. She mused over the name her mother had chosen and felt happy for some inexplicable reason, but she couldn’t figure out what the name meant.

It was like a sweet but bitter taste in her mouth whenever she tried to say the name. Something gnawing at the back of her mind, constantly calling out to her… seducing her to remember… to walk into the darkness and shed her excess light.

You’re okay darling?” Melissa asked, exiting the party to console Tandy “I’m sorry I chose the name without your permission… I just thought that you would love that he be remembered for something like this… especially since the hotel provides a lot of jobs for the South Boston residents.

I love the name but I can’t remember what it means…” Tandy whispered, wanting to avoid the conversation instinctively but also curious to remember something.

Melissa sighed knowing what would happen next but still deciding to remind Tandy “Tyrone dear… he was your friend who died a couple of months ago… wait! Tandy!

Before Melissa even finished, Tandy rushed away from the balcony and into the female bathroom, searching through her purse with desperation on her face.

Of course, Tandy remembered, how could she completely forget Tyrone? … but she was still willing to try and forget. Finding a dime bag in her purse, Tandy popped it open, made a quick line of white powder, and began snorting the substance up her nose.

Forget Tyrone… forget Tyrone… forget Tyrone… forget Tyrone…” Tandy whispered like a crazed lunatic for a couple of minutes until her mind locked away any painful memories that may have resurfaced.

She promised Kevin to stop snorting but she couldn’t and that just added to the numerous shame buried inside her heart.

By the time Tandy exited the bathroom, she was back to her old happy, hopeful self, ready to walk on stage and stand alongside her mother, father, and new boyfriend and best friend, Kevin Thompson.

I want to thank you all for coming to this grand opening for my new hotel… when I thought up the idea for this hotel, I wanted to use it as…. And I hope that everyone…… this community deserves…... Thank You!

Melissa finished her closing speech and gestured to Tandy to say a few words but she promptly refused. She didn’t have the most stable emotions at the moment and she was scared of what she might say when the words started to flow out of her.

I would like to say something…” Kevin stated, walking forward when Melissa gave him the microphone “I have been so lucky these past few months to be integrated into this family full of love with the woman I love… it’s been a long time since I felt like I fit in somewhere. For those of you who know me, you’d know my parents are the types of billionaires who love groundwork and spend all their time in laboratories…

I am usually left to handle all the business stuff that actually distributes my parent’s research across the world to aid communities that are more isolated from the world at large. Mr. Wilson Fisk and Fisk Conglomerates have hastened our distribution of life-saving medicine all over the world. Like father like daughter… they are both amazing people!

Kevin paused, walked in front of Tandy, and took a knee with a ring clenched between his fingers, amazing everyone at the party into silence “And I would be crazy not to hold onto something so amazing when I have it in my grasp… so Tandy Bowen… the light of my life and the physical manifestation of all hope in the world… will you do me the honor of marrying me?

Why?” Tandy asked with an indifferent look on her face that caused everyone but Kevin to panic. He was aware of her quirks, including her emotionless face as she was considering something seriously.

Because there is a single moment in all our lives that determine who we are and who we want to be… that moment comes fast and leaves even faster, so I want to catch that moment right now.

Tandy stared at Kevin, for a moment, the figure of Tyrone overlapping with his features as she wished that it was Tyrone on his knees proposing instead of Kevin but Tyrone was gone and her life had to move on.

Tandy flashed a genuine smile and accepted the proposal, though as much as her smile was genuine, it was the type of smile that just didn’t quite reach your eyes.

Tyrone took that smile with him when he died.’ Tandy thought, hugging her family and Kevin thoughtlessly as if just going through the motions to please everyone but herself.

We’re taking a trip around the world for your birthday in a couple of months… anywhere specific you wanna go?” Kevin asked happily.

Without even knowing why, Tandy subconsciously answered “Romania… Bacau Romania…

Kevin shrugged “Why?

Tandy held her head in confusion, also unsure why she wanted to go there specifically “I am not sure… I guess I am curious about the myths of Dracula or something…

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