Third Arc (Fallen Heart) - 138. Exhaustion and Blood Smell VII

A smile developed on her lips.
"Indeed, but you're laughing," said Rose. His laughter pleased her.

"I can't help it. It's too funny. You said a magical word I've never heard before, Rose," Angel said between his laughs. No. This was even the first time he had heard someone say it.

"No one said you were charming?" asked Rose in disbelief. Back in Asteria, he was a talented swordsman. Indeed his face was a bit cold, but he was not ugly. He didn't have any bad habits either.

He stopped laughing and shook his head from side to side.
“Charming is too identical with Ilex. Not me," he confessed.

“Now you have attracted more people's attention than him. Don't you think you're charming too?" It was both a tease and a confession from him.

“I know they were attracted to me for other reasons. And I don't blame them. That is a natural thing. Human basic instinct I could say." He realized Ilex and he attracted other people differently. But lately, he knew what attracted others to him was his victory and power.

“Are these going down to your identity acceptance?” she guessed.

He smiled bitterly.
"Yes. I hate to say it. But that's what I thought. I have experienced a lot of rejection in the past and don't want to feel it anymore if I don't have to." It brought his thoughts to Ophelia. When she said that she believed in his identity, she acted otherwise.

“Is that what made you decide not to get married for a long time?” She made another guess.

It made Angel silent for a moment. He had always been alone, ever since his father's death. His family had always treated him like he was a lunatic just because he kept talking about the crystal. He was always the black sheep, the one that didn't fit in. Although he hated it at first, he had no other choice but to accept it, because he knew that he was different from everyone else.

Over time it got worse. He felt lonely even when he was surrounded by people and longed for recognition from his family that he was part of them. Coupled with his guilt, that's why he gave his blind loyalty to his kingdom. Over time, he longed for someone to understand him, to accept him for who he was. But it seemed like nobody ever would.

Until one day, when he met Rose who changed everything. But then he disappeared. Plus his family's betrayal created a big trust issue in him. Both made him doubt everyone who approached him.

It created his hesitation to get married. His wife would be the closest person to him for the rest of his life. If she couldn't accept it and ended up hating him, it would create another problem for Euphorion. So what he could do was maintain the status quo as long as he could.

“I need to settle down with myself first before I get married. That's what I thought. But in the end, I put marriage as one of my tasks and I'm too busy with other things.” Finally, he let out his voice.

"But the past is over. You have a lot of people who support you now.”

A smile appeared on his lips.
"That's why I gave myself a chance." ' And I hope this will work,' he thought. But he couldn't say it out loud since he was afraid that Rose would take advantage of it. He knew he shouldn't feel this way, but he couldn't be helped since this feeling just kept popping up. His fear of betrayal still lingered in his heart and haunted him no matter how hard he tried to get rid of it. What he could do was reduce it.

“Anyhow, I think we should finish lunch soon. I still have a lot of work to do,” he decided to end their conversation.

“Just make sure you take a rest first before you start your job again. Your health has to come first,” she reminded.

Angel nodded and continued eating. Still, his mind immediately went elsewhere.
'Thinking about it, I haven't checked Euphorion's history book. I should check it out after my work is done.'