Well… what can I say?

I manage to make things even weirder for them from as it was before, hehe.

As always I “woke up” before them so I could make breakfast, but once everybody was at the table silence fell down like a brick, tension in the air as Dylan’s ears keep getting red when he looked up while he sipped his juice to keep himself busy.

Tapping my finger on the counter with a victorious smile on my face I start to plan how to get even more under their skin.

Because… Why not right?

“Are your butt ok Dylan?  Hope I wasn’t too harsh on you yesterday…” Flustered he almost chokes on his drink, coughing a little before managing to stammer an answer:

“No-no, I’m good, thanks fo-for asking…” He says, looking away, mumbling an almost inaudible “only my pride is hurt” in the end.

“Uhm… And how about you Richard? Does your butt, dick, hand, wrist, neck, back, mouth-“

“Shut up!” I put a hand on my chest, faking been shocked.

“What? How rude! I’m just worried about your health.”

He snorts at that, making me hide a smile behind my mug.

“Is this funny to you?”

“Oh, yes, very fun indeed…”

“Is that so? So this is all just a game to you?” He says, opening his arms wide.” You cannot play with other people’s lives just for your own amusement!”

“And who said that?”

“You little-“

“Chill out Richard, I’m joking! And how else should I take life as, my friend, when I have an eternity of it ahead of me?”

How should keep my sanity if not thinking this is all just a silly funny game? If not enjoying the little bits that life gives me? Enjoying every day like it was my last, to make it worth it, to not focus on what was beyond that, another empty day, another meaningless night.

Over.

And over.

And over.

Until the end of times.

I put the mug down then, this conversation obscuring my taste buds, as Richard neutralizes his expression.

“And how the hell should I know that?”

I shrug, not really wanting to talk about it, just having brought it up as an answer before. They finish their foods without muttering another word, falling on me the task of talking first again.

“I will take you there.” I bring it up suddenly, looking at Dylan’s face, seeing him put his spoon down to gap at me.

“What? Where?” Says Richard with a hint of anger. Really he never calmed down did he?

“You are?” Asks Dylan, surprised as he adds, turning to Richard: “To the laboratory.” But been stared down by Richard’s green cat eyes makes him blush and look away, more intimate images probably playing in his mind by the way his heartbeat accelerated.

But was I now? Taking them there? Why? I could lie to them and say it was just a way to keep myself entertained, another game, another play, but I couldn’t lie to myself, hide it for too long…

So the golden question still remained; why was I? Helping them? I shouldn’t have; I should keep things the way they were now, play until they break, and move on. And yet… it didn’t seem enough. Did I want to… impress them? To make them… happy?

It was.

Fuck, it was.

I look sideways to Dylan, opening my mouth slowly, the movement hypnotizing both of them.

“I know how this is important for you Dylan… for both of you. And I promised, didn’t I?”

“But… Why would you help us? You don’t need to…” I got closer, not in an intimidating way but an intimate one, brushing his cheek and hair with the tip of my fingers.

“Maybe I’m getting a little fond of you two… Maybe I want to care for my pets…”

Richard scowls when I call them pets, but my attention is caught by Luka, who presses his forehead on my palm, demanding petting.

A moment of silence follows, but once my eyes go back up they automatically lock on Dylan’s face.

He was … he was crying, the silent tears rolling free down his cheeks, but they were from happiness, and knowing that I was the one responsible for it brought a scary tightness to my chest, which only got worse when he lunged forward and hugged me.

I didn’t respond at first, petrified by the warmth of his body against mine, warping all around me, but once he tightness his hug, his tears wetting my clothes, I hug back harder, frightened yet delighted with the gesture.

Was this… happiness? Since when I forgot how it felt? To be this happy? How could I, if I didn’t even realize the lack of it?

What’s wrong with me?

What’s wrong with these humans?

What’s… God, I-

Dylan falls back, cleaning his face on his sleeves, giggling between sobs, his voice soft and low coming forth only to say a simple:

“Thank you.”

And if I hadn’t melted before I just did now with his bright smile and teary filled eyes.

Fuck me.

****

They got free access to my apartment once more, as we prepared to go out the next day; for the sake of Richards butt and body, even if he denied that it hurt.

Ha, haha, ah… Human life, such a  fragile thing… like an unbreakable clock, tick-tocking nonstop, the arrows in constant movement bringing them closer to the end, impossible to be stopped; Well, except mine I think, uhm. 

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

In a blink of an eye they would be old, their bodies breaking down piece by piece… They should be enjoying their youth, I should be enjoying their youth; by that I mean their lean and young bodies of course.

Sigh.

Dylan was in the room messing with something, leaving me and Richard alone in the living room; and while they needed to gather food, water, supplies, and so on, I only changed to military clothes; because I looked cool on them; and grabbed my sword.

Not that one, pervs.

I lean forward, looking at a mad Richard who was trying to ignore me, and with a smirk say:

“Richard… Oi, Richard… Wolfy~~ Are you listening to me?O~iii~~”

“What?!”

“Wow, rude, I didn’t even do anything!”

He looks at me, an eyebrow raised as his brain is choosing if it was worth to list everything that I done until now or not.

“Chill dude, I just wanted to ask something.” He seemed surprised at mine… normal  approach. “Why are you doing this? Risking your life… for what? A vaccine? A cure? Look around you! Do you really think that even if you take the virus off or whatever that you could save these rotting bodies?”

“And what else should we do? Give up?”

“Yes. Humanity will never be the same after… well, all this, so might as well adapt and improve what you have already.”

He snorts, but looks away, a somewhat sad glint passing through his eyes. “I’m tired to have to kill my cowards and friends only because they were…bitten.”

With that he takes a sip of his coffee, enjoying the warmth, making me realize that nothing major changed for me… I mean, I’m more to the “Buhu I’m isolated and alone and bored!” to the “Oh my God we are all going to die!” from the humans, so could count as nothing changing really… I could easily play around, while they fought every day to survive only to die by a mere misstep.

But this was getting too serious for me.

“So, how were you two before the apocalypse? Wait, let me guess, Dylan was, like, a good doctor, young for the career, full of life and innocence, naïve like a rabbit, and immediately captivated the grizzly wolfy here? And you were probably military, or from the police, something very brutal, all macho.”

He looks at me, rolling his eyes and saying, after another sip:

“… Firefighter.”

“There you go!”

He puts the mug on the table, looking at me for the first time, with the neutral expression he used against the soldiers.

“What about you? Who were you before you changed? And how do you know about the laboratory?”

That question brought a grim expression to my face, suddenly making me very… angry.

“Alright guys, I’m ready! Let’s go!” Said  Dylan as he entered the room, his bright smile fading once he felt the tension between us.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing sweet Dylan, are you ready?” He nods eagerly many times, like a child going to Disney. “Stay close to me out there, and if I say to do something you just do it, ok? We won’t have time to discuss out there.”

Dylan nods again. ”Ok.”

I look at Richard, who didn’t seem happy; but that wasn’t something new, at least without my- I mean, he agreed in the end.

“Let’s go girls.”