The next morning in the Great Hall, the three Weasley's got sent a Howler. It was pretty funny.

"You'd better open it, you lot." Neville said in a timid whisper. "It'll be worse if you don't. My Gran sent me one once, and I ignored it and -" he gulped, "it was horrible."

The Howler was beginning to smoke at the edges. I knew what they were as Fred and George got sent them almost daily last year.

"Open it." Neville urged. "It'll all be over in a few minutes ..."

Ron stretched out a shaking hand, took the envelope from Errol, the Weasley's owl, and slit it open. Neville, Harry, and I stuffed our fingers in our ears.

We only slightly muffled the shouts of Mrs Weasley. People throughout the Hall were swivelling around to see who had received the Howler. When it finished, a few people laughed and gradually, a babble of talk broke out again.

In Herbology, we had a chat with Justin about the flying car. Neville got knocked out by the screams of the Mandrakes. Trust him to have such bad luck!

Colin Creevey, a first year muggleborn Gryffindor, took a picture of Harry and I.

Harry stood there grinning awkwardly, me grinning mischievously, our arms slung around each other, me holding my fingers like bunny ears over his head.

Then we had Defence Against the Dark Arts with Gilderoy Lockhart. He gave us all a quiz. It went like this:

1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour?

I answered: Black, 'cause he's into the Dark Arts lol

He's a hardcore dark wizard, like

He secretly kills newborn kittens, destroys rainbows, and steals sweets from babies

2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?

I answered: to become head of the Illuminati and to marry popular Muggle singer Justin Bieber. Oh, and to join popular Muggle band One Direction.

3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?

I answered: not getting murdered by Voldemort. Seriously. He's so annoying, why did Voldemort not do us all a favour?

But I scratched that bit out because that sounded a bit evil. So I wrote 'getting hired by Dumbledore, like, what the heck, Dumbydora?'

Seamus and Dean were pissing themselves with silent laughter in the seats beside me because they'd seen my answers.

Then dear old Gilderoy let loose Cornish Pixies into the room, and Harry, Ron, Hermione, and I had to stay behind to catch them all. We also kindly let Neville down from the chandelier where the pixies had strung him up.

When we all trooped down to the Great Hall that evening, I secretly got my wand out and whispered the jinx, "Alhera!" at Fred and George.

I saw George shake his head discreetly, and Fred fidgeting stiffly, like they were trying to restrain themselves from doing something. Only I knew what they were trying to restrain themselves from doing ...

A few minutes later, they couldn't restrain themselves any longer. They excused themselves from the table, but it was too late, and they were scratching at their lower areas in a frenzied fashion, hopping from one foot to the other. Everyone had looked up from their talking and were staring silently at the twins, half with raised eyebrows, and half with amused expressions. Terry was shooting glances at me with his lips twitching, trying not to break into a grin which would give him away - he knew, I told him.

I was literally rolling on the floor laughing. I was crying with laughter, I couldn't hold it in. 

"Softpaw! What did you do?!" The twins screamed simultaneously. 

I couldn't reply, I was too busy shaking with laughter and crying with mirth. But I had jinxed their underwear last Christmas holidays, so that when I jinxed them with the same spell again a while later, they'd immediately become intensely itchy. The longer you leave the gap between jinxing the clothes with the same spell, the stronger the itch.

"You're going to pay for this! We'll get you back! Call it a Minor Prank War!" They yelled. We'd made a pact in the summer holidays that in situations where we want revenge for a prank that had been pulled on you by another Insurgent member, Gryffindor, relative, or close friend, we'd call a prank war, either a Minor Prank War, Major Prank War, or an Amazingly Intensely Epically Huge Major Prank War (AIEHMPW). 

In a case of a Minor Prank War, it is a short-term prank war between you (the prankster or victim) and them (the victim or prankster). 

In a case of a Major Prank War, an entire group takes part. They can either take sides and form teams or all work separately.

In a case of a AIEHMPW, the entirety of our friends and maybe some of our enemies take part. Like the Major Prank War, they can either take sides and form teams or all work separately.

We've scheduled an AIEHMPW in my fifth year, their last year.

So this is going to be fun!

~~~

Later in the dorms, when I was alone, I hexed Parvati and Lavender's perfumes to smell like fish for a day. MUHHAHAHA!

I'm just evil like that. 

I hesitantly took out the little black diary. I opened it. What if the twins were wrong? What if this was just a friendly guy who was really curious?

I took out my ink and quill and started to write ...