AMBROSIA

Having learned of a dungeon in the middle of the ocean, we sailed northeast toward this place. Its location was just to the west of an island newly formed within the last nine years. Within this island, the town of Futanari had also mysteriously appeared. The Void had collapsed, after all, so many towns and people were moved to this world. More recently, nearby towns wanted some entertainment, so they opened the Arena. As much as Tamashii wanted to fight and experience adventure like I did, we weren't going anywhere near there. They favored matches where the fighter had only a certain number of moves to finish the battle, where the creatures they fought were insanely strong fiends, or where the warrior was handicapped somehow. The more penalties accepted, the more money was made in the event of a victory. I could imagine her gouging out an eye, and tying both hands behind her back to do battle with some wicked being with six heads and too many eyes. I was her mother, damn it, and there was no way I’d allow that!

And so, well before docking in that island, we instead sought out our dungeon. The dungeon appeared to float freely in the middle of the sea, but we realized that it was actually not floating at all, but rather the dungeon had floors under the water. This stone fortress had a crude dock, so we tied our boat. The dungeon stood with a rock wall protecting it from the sea, yet to each side of the fortress was a column of rock, a cliff face that had been carved out to make room for the structure. It was unlikely that this place would last more than a few centuries, since the bulk of the building was underwater, and the cliff had a waterfall emptying just a few feet from the back of the building. The waves around here were fairly large too, so I rushed up the steps toward the door. “Where do you think you're going?” asked an unknown voice. A woman, who later introduced herself as the caretaker of this place, emerged from the shadows in order to talk to us. We explained why we were here. “You want to take the Orihime Flute?” she asked, “Okay, then I'll open five floors. Be careful, though, beyond, danger lurks.” I promised I'd be careful, but she looked dubious, “You'd better be. Beyond the fifth floor, there's no return until the end, so it's sealed.” She did let us in, though.

This area was designated as a bonus dungeon. That is to say, it was hard to find, and only a small portion of it was actually required. I later learned the name of this place was Sealbreak Castle. I also learned from her that the maximum number of floors was about twenty (or was it fifty?), each descending further down until the dungeon hit the actual sea bed. That seemed a tad excessive. I was pretty sure none of would... “I wanna do all the floors!” Tamashii pleaded. Oh hell no. “Oh hell no,” I said. She proceeded to give me puppy dog eyes, nagging and begging as we went down the dungeon, until finally about the fourth floor I said, “Okay, fine! I'll go back, and tell her to unlock the whole thing. You guys wait here.” I ascended the stairs, muttering and cursing as I went.

The bonus dungeon was a series of single rooms that each occupy a floor. Some of these seemed to be larger or smaller, leading me to wonder how this building looked like from the outside. It seemed like the entire thing must be more like stacked rooms than a proper building with straight walls or anything. I wonder how it kept from falling?

The first floor was one of those horrible puzzles with rocks and pillars, with pressure plates that apparently opened the door. The rock I pushed, however, was not heavy enough to make a difference, so I had to pull a nearby lever to lower bars holding the pillar in place, then push this on to a pressure plate. To make matters worse, a bunch of slimes kept chasing me around while I was trying to focus. I made it to the next floor by myself, already wishing I had stayed with the others. I barely remembered how they solved these things the first time, and the prospect of remaining separated from the people I loved filled me with fear. I wondered why I pushed them away, to do this part alone. My daughter and husband should at least have gone with me.

The second floor was completely dark. But I remembered from last time that there were floor tiles that lit up in order to spell out the word «LIGHT!» and yup, we had to light up about five or seven tiles for each letter including the exclamation mark. The room's lighting finally activated, but unfortunately this also released the bars on the gates holding a number of snarling creatures. As powerful as the Tao was, I didn't have any confidence in being able to fend off a number of creatures myself. So I made my way to the third floor rather quickly. When I got there, I hoped the others were waiting, because this was one of those horrible puzzle rooms where you need a smart friend to help.

The third floor was relatively free of danger, since these creatures seemed unable to cross the stairs. It was probably the same sort of thing that keeps dogs from leaving an area (you know, a sort of proximity fencing thing). This floor, from what I remembered, had a number of unseen warp points, so I basically had to go right to go forward, or backwards to go left. I tried to jump over them, but it didn't work. After being annoyed and frustrated, I finally went to the fourth floor and rejoined the others. “What took you?” asked Nevras. I gave my husband my most cheerful face and sweetly informed him, “That damned teleport puzzle...” He nodded, giving me a hug.

The fourth floor was previously filled with creatures, but they killed them all in the time I was gone. Originally, there was a bit where you were supposed to solve a numerical puzzle based on creatures killed, but once they completed that, they just massacred things because they were bored. What? PETA was gone for 2000 years.

The fifth floor was a maze filled with creatures like dragons, demons, and hydras. I barely noticed that there was a cracked wall in time with all these critters chasing after us. But while the others were engaged in battle, I planted a bomb and found a small switch. It was really lucky we found that, because the chest holding the Orihime Flute clicked open in the distance. By the time all of us finished killing things that had too many heads or too many teeth, we were very thankful that it was so easy to get to. Especially after I found out that one of the other chests was a Mimic. It chased us around the maze until we finally bribed it to get it to let us alone. I seriously just wanted to leave after this point, but my daughter dragged me by the arm. She had that intense look again...

My daughter wasn't very strong, but she was intense. And if she actually got angry, unlike other bratty kids, she could probably blow this whole place up. So we went ahead anyway. This floor had a bunch of puzzles that seemed to thwart our standard tactic of pushing heavy objects. Rather than the typical flat plates, these ones were curved, so stuff we put on them kept rolling off. Our group split into two teams, one holding the door open by standing on a plate, holding a lever, or keeping a button pressed while the other called out, “You can move now!” Eventually, the two doors connected us to each other, and we made it to the next room. I was relieved not to be separated. Not that I was clingy or jealous (okay maybe a little), but the thought of something going wrong with the puzzle would mean that they two of us might be split up permanently.

The next floor also required us to split, this time killing all creatures on each side. It was kind of super-lame given all the floors before it, and it wasn't clear why we had to be separated. But that was what the puzzle demanded. It still sucked though.

The eighth floor seemed to be a fairly open room. The stone blocks of the other rooms gave way to ice outside, with some tall statues in three locations of the room. The statues, needless to say, were hard to get to, and it was difficult to figure out what this room was all about without skidding. The statues, you see, had some sort of writing on the metal base. We kinda smashed into it trying to get closer though. As I pushed away from the statue slowly, I read the words, «Pay close attention to where these statues stare.» Edging back from the statues, I tried to carefully skid towards the stone section, being careful not to flip over and land on my back or suddenly stop and lurch forward. But I wasn't that great a skater. Searching around, I found a small dial on the floor where all three statues lined their gaze, and I turned it. We heard a grinding sound, then a staircase pulled out as the stone retracted. Yay, we were making good progress!

The ninth floor had three triangular blocks each of which contained writing. The first said, «What creature walks on four, then two, then three legs? Speak now, or die.» Elias answered, “Man.” That one was so common a riddle even I knew it. The second one described some concept from Legend of Zelda. It was way too long and involved, but Elias immediately answered, “Power.” The last one, said, «The Trinity is made of three parts, which of these is called the Comforter? Speak now, or die.» Elias explained that this was the Holy Spirit. After these questions had been answered, a voice told us, “You have answered the questions. Now you must tell me, what do all of these questions have in common? This is my Fourth and Final question. You must answer correctly.” A multiple choice appeared in front of us, with the answers Three, Triangles, Love, and Eternity. Elias made a swiping motion to the left, and said, “None of these.” Wait, I was sure all of these questions had to do with sets of three! He explained, “The answer is Death. It was a trick from the start. And like all the puzzles, there were three hints. First, the answers themselves.” What about them? Seeing my look, he said, “The Holy Ghost is just that. A spirit beyond the world of the living. One could say it was this very spirit that provided the tie that saved our lives. Power is something in which to pursuit of it corrupts, and leads to downfall. And Man? Women can bring life to the world, a Man can at best help with this, and at worst only makes tools of destruction.” He continued, “Second, the thing most common about the three questions was not their answer. It was the threat of death that came with them. The threat which was never given this time. Third, the last statement was itself a sort of pun. It said things like 'Fourth' and 'Final.' In some cultures, the number 'four' is similar to the Chinese sound for death.' Even if this wasn't it, it was also said that this was a final question.” The door to the stairs opened while I was still trying to work out how that how this puzzle even made sense. The tenth floor was another maze. We made it through fairly quickly, and headed to the 11th floor.

This floor was strange. A boss of sorts appeared, a kind of super-ultra-mega-chicken thing and her harpy minions. It tossed balls of lightning in predictable patterns across the room, slashed at us with its claws, and sent its little friends after us. We'd seen stuff like this before with other creatures, but the strange thing was that only I could attack, and only by using my knife. It was like some kind of mini-game. Eventually, I triumphed, but rather than going down another floor, we took a short break. I was kinda tired.

The next two floors were fairly lightweight. The first featured a mine cart ride, and was rather fun. And the second was simply a matter of bombing cracked walls. After that, the fourteenth floor had a series of statues like that other floor, but unlike that one we apparently didn't want to make eye contact. I realized them after almost being blasted by eye lasers and barely dodging out of the way. To make matters worse, there were creatures chasing us around the room. I lured a couple of them into laser blasts, but for the most part this floor was difficult to get through. The fifteenth floor was another damned maze, complicated by incredibly powerful enemies navigating through it with us. We barely managed to defeat one of them using an incredible amount of power, and spent the rest of the time running, turning sharp corners. Unlike the other simple mazes here, this had high walls and numerous branches until we finally found the exit.

The sixteenth floor had a series of breaks in the stone where channels of water wound around the room. Somehow this room didn't flood the entire dungeon, so it was safe to assume that this area's water was carefully controlled with a series of sluice gates. While it was tempting to believe that we would be safe from the slimes in the water since most slimes can't hold their form in too much liquid (aside from water slimes, which look disturbingly like water itself, and are known to become quite large), we had other problems. Some horrifying creatures that looked a bit too much like oarfish swished towards us. Only, an oarfish didn't quite have teeth, especially not like that. I kinda jumped out of the water pretty quickly. After a few close calls and some splattered apart slimes, we managed to get to the stairs. The water was contained in this room with thick glass so none of it followed us. I wouldn’t want a water to flood in and kill us all.

The seventeenth floor involved moving a set of powerful lanterns so that the beam they gave off did not block the path. The light of such lanterns was so intense that I wasn't sure we wanted to walk into it. I tried using a stick, and it kinda set it on fire. Anyway, we managed. The eighteenth floor had a complex series of word and number puzzles, as well as some colored gates that appeared to be synced with some colored orbs we found elsewhere. It was a lot of doubling back, so we split into two groups and tackled it systematically. The two paths did meet up eventually, and we got out of here.

And then, we came to the 19th floor. In the background, a complex song was playing from somewhere, and there were a series of pressure plates, each of which played a note. Since all of the notes were spaced out, Aqorm set us to work one crudely playing the same song that we were hearing. It wasn't perfect, and the wrong note or bad rhythm sometimes set off a trap, but after a few tries, we managed to disarm the puzzle and the stairs revealed themselves. The directions said there was a harder version that we could play in order to unlock a series of treasures, but considering how much they penalized... I’m afraid that was not anything remotely like something we’d want to do.

At last, we came face to face with an enormous creature guarding the entrance to the next room. Unfortunately, its name and most of its attacks were copyrighted, so I can only vaguely describe it. It was a sort of Mayan-looking statue with way too many arms, some of which were able to heal or revive other arms, while others could summon elemental powers. Before the main body could even be attacked, the arms must be destroyed. It was an epic battle that lasted for hours, but I think I'll leave most of it to your imagination. While I can't go into too much detail, things seemed hopeless for quite some time. It's attacks were very powerful, as was its healing, and it seemed like nothing could stop it. But we kept faith, and persisted despite overwhelming odds. I knew that even though I had powerful enemies, I also had friends that would stick by me even when things seemed desperate. After all, “a friend in need is a friend indeed.” And they were good friends to me. After the giant being's arms were torn off, it summoned all sorts of large critters to attack us, but finally it fell to our attacks. It was, after all, only as strong as it seemed. And it seemed pretty darned strong actually. But we overcame it.

TAMASHII

We'd just beaten that huge creature, and now it was time to collect our just reward. There were treasure chests aplenty in the passage behind that gigantic critter, but they didn't thrill me. I was looking for a weapon of legendary power or something, as I made my way to the back stairs. Instead, I found a strange egg roughly about two feet tall. It looked like a dinosaur egg and it was fairly heavy. But I saw Lilith offering to take it while licking her lips as though she planned to crack it, scramble it, and cook it. Nope, I think I was gonna haul it myself, even though it was about twenty floors of staircase and the thing weighed close to 30 pounds. The egg at first was ice cold from the moisture in these lower sections and blistered my hand, but gradually my body heat warmed the thing. At the peak of every few floors I rested at the landing before turning the corner and climbing again, and each time I did so, Lilith would invite to be 'helpful', asking me, “Are you sure you don't want me to take over?” and also, “You seem kind of tired.” I was just fine, honest. Even though I was breathing heavily and now limping up the steps. Finally, I called out, “Mom!!! Lilith is trying to take my egg away from me!” She glared at the demon, who aside from a guilty look, denied that she had been been planning to do any such thing as eat that egg. Mom was quick to point out that I had never mentioned that she was taking it to eat, so that must have been what she was actually planning to do. In any case, Mom and Dad took up the load, and we placed it aboard our ship.

In the months to come, the egg would hatch and I would call the fluffy creature Ayumi. Ayumi was round with stubby legs and short arms, long ears, a stubby nose, and a cute mouth. The critter looked like a strange cross between a banner-tailed desert rat and Welsh Corgi, somehow standing upright despite its improbable shape. She(?) exuded cuteness, and she was actually a powerful creature that could be used as a pet in battle. She tended to hop towards her foes, and wag her long flexible tail, before tearing them to shreds. I had seen her take down a dragon at one point! The creature was called a Jun'nō, named after a word that meant “to adapt.” She did not become some larger form, so much as alter to survive in other climates. After reading a book called Raising a Jun'nō : a Survival Guide for New Owners by Tamashii Rinne d'Angeli (weird... the book was written by someone with the first and middle name as me, and it appeared to be brand new, almost like someone had traveled back in time to place it on the shelves where I picked it up... but that's impossible), I learned to regularly feed them Dark Onion throughout their childhood to build Friendship and various berries and curries thereafter, how to avoid having my right hand bitten off by careful feeding and handling, and how to train Ayumi. Ayumi apparently did like to nip while she was teething, so I was lucky to have this book, even if it was strangely specific. As for the training, the book insisted that Ayumi could adapt to any environment, and encouraged me to toughen her up a bit. I wanted to work on her resistance to water, so when I had the chance, we took her to the ocean, and using rope we lowered her into the depths to learn how to breathe underwater. The book assured me that she could not drown, so long as I gradually increased the duration. Eventually, Ayumi's feet became webbed and a tiny slit appeared on her neck. Next, we wanted to test her rock-climbing ability and heat resistance, so we went to an active volcano near Hell. Fancying myself a lion parent, after Ayumi had built some resistance to the adverse weather and become better at climbing, I tossed Ayumi over the edge of the volcano and insisted she climb up. I kind of missed the rock edge and my pet instead careened straight into the lava, but after a few minutes I saw Ayumi's scorched body swim out. After a few moments, Ayumi began to grow fur again, and tested her cute little body against the extreme heat before finally climbing out. After a few false starts and falling back into the lava, Ayumi also grew claws in her hands and feet. After this, we wanted to make sure that my pet wouldn't be too uncomfortable in cold weather, so we took Ayumi to the middle of Kirin and plunged my little critter into the icy water. I was sure adapting to extreme heat, then following her with icy cold water would kill Ayumi, but Ayumi smiled as cheerfully as possible, enjoying new experiences. All that really happened to her was she grew thicker fur. And more interesting, Ayumi's fluff changed from a dull gray to sea green, then green with a fair amount of pink, then a mix of the light blue and the other two colors. I was feeling a bit sad for her, but she seemed to enjoy pushing herself toward new goals even if that meant suffering, unlike humans. So since she was bored if she didn't do any training, I did stuff like strapping weights to her to make her stronger and run faster. Or cutting her with small needles to toughen her skin. Or making her eat metal or rocks to sharpen her teeth. Soon, my loyal and loving pet Ayumi was the best help ever for my adventures. She even collected rare items!

But all of this happened later on, before we entered the Universe Egg, but quite a few days after what happened next. After all, we had no time for such training immediately after resting the egg in the cabin. No sooner had the egg been stowed in a warm place, and our group emerged from deck of the the ship to cast off, than we were attacked!