I was still a little worried about Tara after that run-in with her brother. Then our encounter with Cynthia went about as well as it could have.

She'd been quiet since we left the park. We walked up to Bloor then over to Yonge and made our way south again. It was still early at that point, around nine o'clock on a Friday night. It was busy too, the streets were always alive that time of night. Most of the shops were closed, but all the bars and night clubs were open, as well as a few other late-night venues.

When I was in the mood for it, I kind of enjoyed the crowd and the atmosphere. Being surrounded by people and activity, there was an energy in the air.

I never got that before. Back when I was alive I was a loner, an outcast. I never fit it, and I avoided people. Though to be honest that hadn't changed. I didn't fit in with the humans, and I barely fit in with the vampires. Maybe it was just the confidence I had now. Even knowing I didn't belong, I could still enjoy being part of a crowd. At least for a little while.

Me and Tara stayed quiet as we made our way south. All my senses were alert for any sign of trouble, any hint of an unfamiliar undead scent. We got nothing though, as we circled around and started north again.

Our path took us up and down the downtown core, and we slowly expanded outwards from the centre. We were at it most of the night, and probably walked over twenty kilometres as we circled up and down around the downtown core. It was about four in the morning when I finally guided us back to the apartment.

Tara was silent through it all, just walking alongside me. Though to be fair I didn't say anything either, so I guess we were both silent.

Once we were inside I locked the door and set the security chain and everything. Then I went into the little kitchen and pulled a couple bags of blood out of the fridge and into the microwave. In a minute they'd be perfect body temperature.

While I was in the kitchen Tara just slumped on the sofa in the little living-room, then I heard her sigh.

"You ok?" I called to her.

There was a little hesitation before she replied, "Yeah. I'm ok."

The tone of her voice didn't quite sell it. I waited till the blood was heated, then pulled a couple mugs out of the cupboard and brought it into the living-room with me. It was quicker and easier just to drink it straight from the bag, but I thought it tasted better from a mug. You still had that plastic taste, but it didn't seem as bad this way.

Tara followed my lead and poured hers into a mug as well, then we both sat there sipping our meal together. She had a thoughtful frown on her face as she drank, and she seemed to be just staring off into space.

After another couple minutes I asked, "What's on your mind, cutie?"

"I was just thinking," she replied quietly. "There's about five million people in the city? And about fifty of us?"

"About," I nodded. "Maybe more, I'd guess sixty or seventy? I don't actually know how many of us there are exactly. Why?"

She had another sip of blood then replied "Ok say there's six dozen of us. A dozen or so are peacekeepers. That's one peacekeeper for every five 'civilian' vamps. That's a pretty high ratio."

She continued, "On the other hand, we have an absolutely huge territory to cover. A city of five million people, and only a dozen of us are supposed to watch all that for trouble? And we don't use anything like technology or whatever? Like tonight, we literally just wandered around downtown for eight or nine hours, hoping to stumble onto something."

I shrugged, "Our senses are a lot better than humans. We were looking for a new undead scent, and we can pick that up from a block away if conditions are right."

Tara frowned and had another gulp of her blood. She shook her head, "It still doesn't add up. Neither of us like it but we're basically vampire cops right? And we're supposed to be solving a crime, someone broke the Covenant. We're assuming it's an outsider but based on what? Why haven't we been allowed to examine the body? Or if someone else in the Family did that, why haven't we been given more information?"

She sighed and continued, "I guess I'm just saying, it feels like we're going about this wrong. Like you were told what? Some guy died two nights ago in that park, and his credit card was used in those three places nearby? Why those three? One low-end restaurant-tavern and two high-end bars? That doesn't fit. Where'd the victim live? Are they local? What's their name? What did they do? Did they have any involvement with the Family?"

Tara finished with another frown, "If we had access to the body we might get a scent off it right? The vamp who did it would have been all over them. And we could get a mold of the bite, like teeth mark impressions or whatever? Were there defensive wounds on the body, did they try to fight back? Did it even happen in the park, or is that just where the body was placed afterwards? There's cameras on stores and stuff, maybe the victim was seen with someone before it happened. There's just so much more we could be doing. Instead we're wandering around hoping to stumble on a stray scent."

I drained my mug then topped it up with what was left in the bag, and had another sip as I thought through everything she was saying.

I finally sighed as well, "You make a lot of good points Tara. I just do what Isabelle taught me. I have my own style, but I'm still just doing the same sort of thing she did. You've got me thinking though. What she taught me probably worked really well a hundred years ago, when the city was a lot smaller and the population was tiny. No doubt the world has changed a lot, and maybe we're not changing with it."

Tara finished the last of her meal then said "There's one other thing. Maybe it's nothing, but from what you said to Cynthia? She wasn't the one who told you about the killing, and the bars right? You got that straight from Isabelle?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Isabelle emailed me in the afternoon, told me the situation and what she wanted us to do."

"So she bypassed Cynthia," she stated. "Normal chain of command would be her telling Cynthia, then Cynthia telling you. Right?"

That brought a slight scowl to my face, but I nodded "Yeah, that's right. Cyn's the top peacekeeper now, we answer to her."

Tara asked, "So why'd Isabelle tell you directly? Isn't she always going on about following the rules?"

I sighed and rubbed my forehead, "She wasn't always so strict, you know? I mean, about rules and stuff? She changed a lot when she became matriarch. Back when she was top peacekeeper she was a lot more... Well, a lot more fun. She was strict at times, especially when Claudia put her foot down. Claudia was the hard-ass. I guess being in charge of every vamp in the city does that? Probably all the responsibility."

After a few moments I added, "I have no idea why Isabelle told me rather than going through Cynthia. Could be she thought it was important and didn't want to wait."

"Could it be Isabelle doesn't trust Cynthia?" she asked quietly. "What if we're not dealing with an outsider after all? What if it's one of ours?"

I put an arm around her and pulled her into a hug, then whispered "Cutie, talk like that will get you killed just as fast as breaking the Covenant. I'm not saying you're wrong, just saying it's dangerous. Cynthia's already got plenty of reasons to hate the both of us. If she's up to anything crooked we'll have to be twice as careful around her."

Tara leaned against me and sighed. She was quiet for a bit, maybe just enjoying the hug. Or maybe she was still thinking about all this stuff. Or thinking about something else entirely, as it turned out.

After a few minutes she asked softly, "Have you ever thought about just leaving? Going off somewhere on your own, away from the Family and all the politics and infighting and drama?"

I gave her a gentle squeeze and whispered back, "That's more forbidden talk cutie. But yeah of course I have. Where would we go though? And what would we do? We can't just wander into some other Family's turf and start hunting humans. We'd get dead just as quick as if we did that here."

She sighed, "There must be somewhere safe. Somewhere that's not claimed by anyone."

"Then what?" I shrugged. "We'd still need a place to live, we'd need to eat. What do we do? Get regular jobs or something? What do we do for blood?"

"I don't know Sam," she whispered. "I just feel like I've traded one demanding oppressive family for another. Ok I got to be a girl, but..."

I gave her another gentle squeeze. "I know Tara. My situation wasn't quite the same, but close enough. And we do have some freedoms, right? They gave me permission to get my own place, and I was able to convince Isabelle to let you live here too. Most of the others have to live at the mansion."

She sighed, "Yeah. They just let us do that because they don't like us. We probably make them uncomfortable or something."

I couldn't help it, I smiled. "You're not wrong, cutie. Whatever the reason I'm not going to complain about it. It's not as posh as a room at the mansion but I'll take the privacy and independence over the luxury any day of the week."

Tara was quiet again for a few moments. Her next question was one I dreaded. "Do you ever regret it? Taking Isabelle's offer?"

My smile faded and I sighed. "No Tara. I've thought about it a lot, believe me. If I'd chickened out and turned her down, I would have just wound up in the same place again a week later. Or a month, or a year. Whatever. I would have kept going back to that place and eventually I'd have worked up the courage to do it. I know all this isn't perfect, but it's better than the alternative."

After a moment I added, "Remember that was nineteen eighty-eight. Options for me back then were pretty limited."

It was different nowadays. Thanks to the internet, knowledge was out there, information. Trans people today didn't have it easy, not by a long-shot. But at least they had the chance to find out what they were, the chance to understand. And many of them had the chance to transition.

That stuff wasn't exactly impossible back in my day, but it was a hell of a lot harder. You couldn't even get started if you didn't know what any of it meant.

I didn't ask, but Tara volunteered her answer anyways. "I don't regret it either. Most of the time. I know if I'd turned you down my life would have been shit, but maybe I'd have gotten lucky. There's a chance I'd have turned it around."

She sighed then added, "Probably not though. Odds are I'd be same as you? Back in that place again, and maybe the next time there wouldn't be a cute friendly vampire around to help me out."

I just nodded quietly, but I was glad she didn't regret it. I knew her chances would have been a lot better than mine. Combined with how bad I messed up turning her I worried at times that she had second thoughts about taking my offer.

The two of us were both quiet again for a while, so I decided to try and lighten things up a bit.

"Hey, want to watch some TV? We could stay up late and binge the first season of Buffy, it's on the streaming site."

Tara frowned, "What's Buffy?"

I grinned, "The vampire slayer? TV series from a while back? It was kind of campy and corny, but a lot of people liked it."

"Are you serious?" she asked. "Wasn't that one of those shows where they got everything so wrong it's not even funny?"

"Hey!" I was still smiling, "It's very funny, precisely because of how wrong it is. And it's kind of bright and cheerful too, there's lots of daytime scenes. And it's cute and fun."

Tara was frowning as she sat up, "If you wanted to watch a vampire show, why not pick something a little more realistic? What about Underworld?"

Now it was my turn to scowl. "Ugh, ok first off that wasn't any more realistic than Buffy. But unlike Buffy, Underworld takes itself way too seriously. Plus it's depressing. It's got the three G's of depression. Gritty, Gory, and Grim-dark."

"At least in Underworld the vamps are the good guys... Well and the bad guys too I guess. I mean, most of the characters were vampires. Or werewolves. Weren't all the vamps in Buffy supposed to be gross monsters?"

I nodded, "Yeah. There was one 'good' one, but Buffy's mostly like a teen coming of age thing I think? It's about friendship and finding your place in the world. And granted there's a few episodes that were real stinkers... Actually some entire later seasons too. But mostly it's just fun."

Tara rolled her eyes then got up, "You watch your silly vampire slaying show if you like. I'm going to have a shower then I'm going to bed."

Her mood seemed to have picked up again which made me feel better. I smiled to her, "Ok cutie."

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