Who cares about the title.
"Can you, clap?"
Wide open field, with tall grass and a straight wide road — or just a wide pathway, like 'no grass here so you can walk on this'.
This place was hot, why? because wind was not at all blowing.
I might be a superhuman now, but lifting a lot of stuff under the bright sun — not something i like doing.
"It's kinda too soft, it won't make a sound… i think… clapping should be really hard… what do you say…?"
It's not just about the weight you carry, it's also about the thing you are carrying.
[*frustrated average weight walking noises*]
The god said "do anything",
[*doubtful young breathing sounds*]
So i choose to help this world, i was the best and kindest useless NEET gentleman that had ever existed on earth — i died saving an unidentified animal, is the proof of it.
[*bored young breathing sounds*]
So right now, i will, just…
"Are we there yet…"
Just keep swimmi- i mean, walking. Just keep walking.
I am finally headed towards the guild.
[*Curious young breathing sounds*]
Just keep walking, walking, walking.
[*angry young breathe in*]
[*angry young breathe -
"Listen up old man! We're hungry!!!",
- out*]
Said by a whining, annoying male kid 1, whom i was carrying — age 8, pale skin, I couldn't see the eye or hair colour, I don't care about those either. what was he wearing? whatever kids in medieval era wore.
"Yes, it's been a while since we have been walking. *sigh*" said the annoying female kid 1 in a bored voice — age not disclosed, pale and soft skin, brown hair, brown eyes, some frilly clothes — whom i was carrying as well.
"What do you mean walking? i have been carrying you unknown kids for a while now." I clarified.
"Either way, we should eat something, look how far away the town is now! we can't even see it! That clearly means we need to eat!" replied male kid 1.
And what logic is that?
"Yes!" agreed the annoying male kid 2, age 6 — whom i was carrying as well.
"Can you, do a handstand?" Asked annoying female kid 2 — age classified, light skin, green eyes, black hair, some frilly clothes — whom i was carrying as well.
"Help me Elite 1!" I asked for help.
"Haha, the closest town is 6 hours of walk away, and it has only been an hour so far. you all should try to *hand*le it." Elite 1 said, a fully armoured knight, no helmet though. it showed his average looking face with brown hair, blue eyes.
[*Video pause sfx*]
So how did i end up like this?
Am i trafficking kids now? No.
Did i got drunk and suddenly had my own kids? No.
Am i day dreaming? No.
Did i find a babysitting job? No.
Am i a lolicon? No.
Where is the guild chapter? even the writer doesn't know.
How am i carrying so many kids? god's blessing.
Who is Elite 1? Elite 1.
Let's go back in time again.
[*rewind sfx*]
"A-Ah, don't mind him, he is an ally." said the Elf.
…
"Ah, Oh, well, This is the bearded-guy, he is very robust, sturdy, he won't die regardless of whatever happens in the plot, he is also mindless and self-sacrificing in nature." said the Elf.
That's a really reliable description.
"...And this is the bald-guy, he exists." She added.
"This is the main character, he is an ally." She continued with her light vocal cords.
…
Wait that's my whole description? "he is an ally"?
Either way, I bowed.
[*roses sfx + vfx*]
"Nice to meet you all, I will be in your care from now on — Please treat me well!" I portrayed all my happiness and joy i got by meeting them from the bottom of my heart in this one line.
My teacher once told me, that his dad once told him, about something his boss once told him, that a wise man once said, first impression is the last impression — although this isn't my first impression.
"The pleasure is ours, w-will you go out for a drink with us sometime?" Bearded-guy asked.
"I-if you are okay with someone like me, s-sure …i will!" I mustered up all the courage i could and said it.
Introducing the characters properly is more important than the report that could potentially save lives after all.
*cough*ed the Elf.
[*thrill sfx*]
Bearded-guy continued —
"Alright then, i will brief you both on the current circumstances. This report is really boring so i will keep it short" Said the bearded-guy.
"We split into groups for killing the beasts,
after killing we were supposed to meet in the east,
Many beasts died,
and everyone of us survived, (why not)
Group that went west was late,
So all we could do was wait,
West to east flowed a river,
Soldiers quiver,
because the river paused,
How was this caused?
Wait for the commander?
We can't act like some bystander,
Let's move towards west from the east,
We won't let our comrades be deceased,
Before we could go,
Came in a foe,
Ahoy! demon in sight,
Let's all prepare to fight,
It was a stalemate,
But then came the group that was delayed,
Now we had nearly won!
But the battle had just begun,
Demon had a grin,
For he was an underling,
Of demon lord with sloth as his sin.
Suddenly we were all weakened,
A lot of small-mobs awakened,
Demon was tired,
Summoning mobs backfired,
Demon went to sleep on a giant mob,
The giant mob protected him — that was his job.
The demon said,
'I will wake up when you are all dead',
The smaller mobs went towards town,
All we could do was frown,
Me and the bald guy stayed,
The town's people needed to evacuate,
Others went to stop the smaller fiends,
Giant mob moves but me and the bald guy intervene.
No choice but to wait,
For the commander that is late."
— Horrible report Shakespeare, understandability and briefness 2/10. but you offered me a drink so i will be biased and 10/10.
— Oh, and the river was my fault, the demon stole my credit, tch. I mean sorry it was my fault.
— And hey! something cliche is *finally* here, the sins! 7 sins!
To sum it up, we get to know that this demon summoned some mobs, they are headed towards the 3 towns or something. The extras, or soldiers are stopping them. and these 2 stayed here to stop the giant mob and the main demon.
To increase words i will just recap what the places here were like — The forest is a square somehow, with 1 town on 3 sides, meaning 3 towns exists that surround this forest, the 4th side, south has a flat plain where some guardian of the forest exists who didn't appear even after all this ruckus.
"Elf 1 commander, what do we do now?" asks the bearded-guy.
[*suspense bg*]
"Hmm….…. mmm….."
…
"mmmmmmmmmm………" says the Elf, as if in some deep thinking.
…
"mmmm……"
…
"hnnnn…."
…
"i think… we shoul-"
[*fast forward sfx*]
So we decided to split up and help the 3 towns around.
"Wait don't cut my dialogues like this, my screen time is going down." complained the Elf.
I was sent to town 1, because it has 1 in it's name.
I didn't bother asking which town they both, i mean, those 3 were going for. But it's pretty sad that we had to split up right when we just met.
"HEY!!" Says the Elf.
I went there, but wait? No mob here? All the mobs were dead, i realized that the soldiers had done their work here because they weren't just some extras — but elite extras.
"Of course, i had handpicked the foot-soldiers myself." Says the Elf proudly.
The town needed to be evacuated anyway because they expected another attack or something, so i was just helping out with evacuating the people there.
"Oh, reminds me, will you stay here and help us out with the second wave of enemies?" Asked the Elf.
Why are you in my summary-monologue! get out! shooo! and i won't help you anymore, guild comes first.
Seriously how is this a commander. Just because you look good doesn't means you deserve a high position, this country will fall.
Also, use the forest guardian! so far it hasn't even shown up, what in the world is that good for nothing guardian doing in that plain area anyway? is it into flat stuff so much that it won't even leave it for even a second?
Anyways.
I got the people to evacuate somehow — They all happily agreed to what a newbie looking adventurer said with some elite soldiers by his side, they didn't care about all their crops and livelihood going downhill at all. Maybe they trust the knights that much.
It's totally not because of a river that suddenly stopped … i think.
In reality i didn't do anything here, everything was done already.
The people gathered their stuff and were leaving, i was to come last and make sure that no one is left behind — i had another soldier with me, Elite 1.
I noticed some kids in an orphanage who were just playing around and not moving, so i grabbed them and now we are here — present scenario.
They seriously didn't had anyone managing the orphanage? that's suspicious.
There were 5 kids, i couldn't carry all but like i said — god's blessings, i now have more arms which are soft and comforting. It's probably some skill.
Of course i look like a creepy alien but the kids don't mind it, also, other people ahead keep staring back and walk faster than before — i am boosting their moral this way.
This is how skills are supposed to be used guys — killing dragons? saving kingdoms? pffftt.
This is the real victory.
…
Can i just fast forward to the guild part?
…
No?
okay, i tried my best to skip as much as possible but now i am out of skip juice it seems.
"Your skill is quite — handy. get it? handy? , hmhmhmhHm" Said Elite 1.
"You are not helping at all..." I Told Elite 1.
No one laughs because this has been going on for an hour. We all are bored of these jokes, except for Elite 1.
These jokes are the reason for female kid 2's weird questions.
"hHaHahhahaha, i mean, i tried but they hate my metal armour, unlike your soft hands, sorry man, I can't give you a — hand — with that." He burst into laughter again.
The kids don't find him comfortable is understandable, but no one from the town was ready to take them either, pretty sad. Or it was my weird multiple hands that freaked them out, not sure.
[*Tired young breathing sounds*]
" *sigh* Just walk faster, don't waste time laughing you 2…" said female kid 1.
"Get them something to eat at least." I beg of you, help me. Even if you don't care about me, think of the kids!! they will die from hunger!!!
"HmHm, that old lady over there seems to be a shop owner, she is having some goods in that cart, why not ask her for some edible things?" suggested Elite 1.
[*Doubtful young breathing sounds*]
"These arms are kinda soft but… they have this strength to them… He might be able to do a handstand… but i am not sure… What do you say…?" answered female kid 3 — age hidden, blue eyes, dark brown hair, pale skin, frilly clothes — with a faint smile, whom i was carrying as well.
"I don't have any money." I jumped over Elite 1's suggestion.
[*Tired young breathing sounds*]
" *sigh* How long will this take…" Asked female kid 1 again.
[*Serious young breathing sounds*]
"You don't carry money? Your weird old man." said male kid 1, in a concerned voice.
"Yes really weird!" Added male kid 2.
"Leave it to me strange-adventurer-that-we-all-trusted-without-a-doubt, I will deal with that old-lady, and — hand — over the edibles to you." Said Elite 1 while hitting his chest in a leave-it-to-me-manner, trying not to laugh, he runs off.
[*Elite running noise fades out*]
Aaaand he went away.
Also if you are wondering why the breathing sounds are so clear — it's because the soft hands that this skill made are short.
my side 1: yeah, anything longer is better, these are too short.
my side 2: these aren't bad, you can tell about their health from the breathing pattern, these are best suited for comfort adjustments, think about it.
my side 3: i would have preferred tentacles.
Who even needs this soft hand skill, or maybe it's a combination of skills again?
[*Elite running noise fades in*]
"Turns out that she is just some ancient evil witch, she only has an apple, but that will make you sleep forever." Said Elite 1 with a disappointed look.
Is it safe to let her be free like this then?
[*Curious young breathing sounds*]
"Can you, dig the ground?" Asked female kid 2.
Honestly i don't think that those apples would be bad, making them sleep forever is a good choice.
"-but, she did tell me that there is a place to eat, a tavern, in about 2 hours from here, sadly i think the message to evacuate must have reached them as well by now — no way they will stay open till we get there, so 5 hour wait for the town it is." Elite 1 added.
Elite 1 is honestly useless.
"The hands are soft… but they are strong as well… hmm… maybe he can dig the softer ground…? What do you say…?" Said female kid 3 while looking at female kid 1, female kid 1 does not answers to her "what do you say" at all, why does she keep asking that.
"2 hours from here? why make a restaurant in the middle of nowhere?" i asked.
"Isn't that where the old people from other towns gather?" said the male kid 1.
"Oh, it's because that's the meeting point of town 1, town 4 and town 5, the pathways merge there." he answered in a you-don't-know-? tone.
But they are closing up soon, in 2 hours.
hmm?
i got here at something like 1:00 PM, or 13:00, and it's still not night — no, not even sunset.
Hours of wandering in the forest, Hours of waiting for evacuation, 1 hour walking.
Does the sun even sets here?
"How much time till sunset?" i asked.
He kept his palm on one of my soft and squishy shoulder then said,
"Time is just an illusion my man, it's only night when it's convenient for the plot, it's only day when it's convenient for the plot, don't ask silly questions."
He spoke like a man who has seen things — like a philosophical grandpa.
The town we are going to, town 4, has the guild, i think i can take this as an excuse to go to the town earlier than this crowd.
Whoever wrote that title is wrong, i will get there, and i care about the guild.
"Well, i am going ahead then, growing arms is not my only speciality. Watch out the back line alone Elite 1." I told Elite 1.
"Huh? Sure, i can do that." Said Elite 1 without any laughter for the first time.
Thanks a lot, you were finally useful.
"…But do you have any place in mind? for the children. Where will you take them in town 4." He asked with a dead serious face in a whisper like voice.
I just gazed at him because let's be honest, i don't even know what town 4 looks like.
"We will see." I said
"Hold on tight kids — or rather i will hold you all tighter." I declared.
[*Curious young breathing sounds*]
"Wait can you, can you flchd- uu" female kid 2 tried speaking fast but bit her tongue i guess. serves you right — sometimes staying quiet is healthier.
[*Doubtful young breathing sounds*]
"She meant 'fly' ... i hope… what did you say?" corrected female kid 3.
[*Panicked young breathing sounds*]
"aStop aStoP, the food can wait a while, i am too young to die!" said male kid 1.
aStop? You won't die.
[*Energetic young breathing noise*]
"Hooo? We will fly? Finally we will get somewhere." Said female kid 1.
So you like it fast?
Hate my slow pace of walking?
Blame the crowd that's filled with old witches and what not.
"I have never really tried flying, but i guess it's a fine day to try that out, i can grow hands so wings should be possible, hnm, or is wingless flight also possible?." I thought out loud.
"AsTOP!!! Fly alone first!!! We will all die!!!!!" Shouted the male kid 1.
"yey! let's all die" giggled male kid 2.
The crowd at the back started moving even faster.
A child points at me, child's mother picked it up and runs.
"You CAN fly? Man, i guess i got to — hand — it to you." Said Elite 1, chuckling.
"Honestly i am not too sure about this, so i will just run. see you again, whenever you get there." I said and ran off.
I can't see clearly in speed, so i can only run to the place i can see at once.
But thanks to the open fields my vision was wide and big. We got there in no time.
— So this is the... tavern?
