I have another one for you!
This goes to the tune of "Lead me, Lord" by John Becker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diZIbx2FAbE
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Feed me, Mom, feed me, Mom
With your warm nipple
To help me to grow real big and strong
In my mouth, put it there, put your warm nipple
And feed me, Mom, today
I'd also like to reminisce over how I used to be a church choir person. I stopped going to church for various reasons, including the choir director being a creep. Just because I'm a promiscuous person does not make it OK to keep hitting on me if I've made it clear I'm not interested. Once or twice is fine to establish if there is reciprocation of attraction, but seriously! If you're not getting anywhere, just stop.
The last straw was when our absolutely awesome priest transferred somewhere else because he and the deacon could not reconcile their differences. The new priest could barely speak English, and as a result, the sermons were extremely boring. We all just kinda stared at the floor while he spoke. That really killed church for me. The old priest had so much sparkle, cared about social justice issues, and would actually parody the church songs from time to time. I remember one time in particular after mass when he used "stinky" in one of his parodies. It was delightfully shocking. I miss him, and therefore, this chapter is dedicated to him.
Its been years since I read bible, and I did so mostly because of the stories.
At least you actually read it! Many Christians don't, or in the Bible studies they do attend, they just spend most of their time flipping through reading one verse at a time to count how many times it says the same thing. It depends on the brand of Christian you talk to, though.
@K5Rakitan
I am not even a Christian, but a good novel is a good novel, I just didn't care it was a religious textbook.
@Agentt There is a lot to learn from it, too. I feel that I'm a much more tranquil person because of my exposure to religion. Unfortunately, my husband never paid attention in church and thus only focuses on the bad things about religion. We'll have to find some other way to teach our child how to deal with his emotions.