"Hmm. You look different. What happened?" Karen asked curiously.
I shrugged and said nothing. She frowned, and then stared at me carefully.

We went out for dinner at a family-operated deli down the street from her house. She was eating a roast beef sandwich. I didn't have much of an appetite, but I was slowly picking away at my cucumber salad. When our eyes met across the table, she seemed to notice something, because her expression suddenly changed. Her brow furrowed and she looked concerned.

"I know you've changed. It's your aura. It looks completely different now. You haven't been doing drugs, right?" she asked.
"No, I'm clean," I replied coldly. "You know I quit. That was a long time ago."

Karen leaned back in her chair and folded her arms with a sigh.

"Well, are you going to tell me what happened, then? Why does it look different?"
"I don't think you'd understand."

She shook her head and looked annoyed.

"Fine. Yeah. Sometimes I don't understand you. I can barely understand half of the things you say. You know I just want to help you, right?"
"Yeah... I know. I'm sorry, Karen. I'll tell you later. I promise."

That seemed to make her a little less angry. She sighed again and smiled gently. I took a bite of my salad and swallowed it quickly.

"How do you always manage to get it on your shirt when you eat?" she muttered under her breath. "Here, let me wipe that for you."

Karen rubbed my chest with her napkin. I set my fork down and blushed. Karen laughed lightly as she dropped her napkin onto the table.

"Sheesh, you're such a kid. You can't do anything without me," she said gently. "You know, for such a smart guy, you really have no self-awareness at all sometimes."

I nodded, looking away. I was surprised by how embarrassed I was.

"Anyway," she said, "at least tell me you've been doing something important with your time. I know you don't have a job. You don't have any friends. Your life must be so boring!"
"You're my only friend. I don't need any other friends."

"It's not enough, though. At this point, you should probably try to meet someone nice and start dating. You seem like the kind of guy who could find happiness if he put his mind to it."

She glanced up at me, and I thought I saw her eyes look sad. Then she turned back to her food and continued.
"All I can do is tell you that it isn't good for you to spend all your time alone in your apartment. I know you don't care about what I have to say, but... well..."

Her voice trailed off and she took another bite of roast beef sandwich. I just stared at my plate for a moment. My heart felt heavy. I suddenly realized that Karen was worried about me. I wanted to reassure her, but I didn't know how. If I told her what I was really doing with my time, she would just be even more worried about me.

"I don't think you're lonely. It's just the opposite," she offered gently. "You've got a lot going on inside you. I can feel it. You just aren't letting anyone close enough to see."
"I'm sorry, Karen. You're right."

My words seemed to surprise her a little. She looked up at me again.

"Whatever you're doing, I guess it works for you."

She smiled slightly as she continued to eat. I tried hard not to stare into her soul.

"Well," she said, picking up the check from the table, "I'll call you later, alright?"
"Wait. Let me pay," I interjected.

"You don't have a job!"
"Please let me. I don't want to feel like a parasite."

She sighed and sat back down. I scrambled to give her a fistful of small bills from my wallet. Then she looked at me seriously, searching my face with her eyes.

"Listen. If you ever need anything, or if something's wrong and you can't talk about it, then... well, just call me and tell me you need my help. Okay? No matter what it is, I promise to help you."

Her hand rested gently on my shoulder.

"Thanks, Karen," I whispered.
"See you around."

She stood up and walked away, smiling softly. I watched her go with a pang in my chest. I didn't understand why she cared so much about me. I wasn't sure if she even liked me that much. Maybe it was just pity.

When I went back to my apartment, I locked myself inside and looked at the monster in the mirror again. I knew exactly what I needed to do to make it grow. I needed to feed it fresh meat.