Alin faces this holy knight in combat. The man before him is wearing a heavy suit of silvery armour.
The material composition of his armour is probably… night silver in the chestplate and helmet and most likely celestial iron in the rest of it. This human is definitely a captain of a holy knight unit.
Most holy knights are given violet steel suits of armour while a man like this, a knight captain, has armour composed of night silver and celestial iron, quite expensive materials.
“You… You’re not Alin. You’re not the Demon Emperor. You think you can trick me? What kind of a fool do you take me for? Th-There’s no way you c-could have--”
“Believe whatever you wish to. Either you believe I’m trying to put fear into your heart in which case, prove me wrong by defeating me… or I am the Immortal Emperor Alin Acquaphon Savitar in the flesh, in which case, you’ll have to fight me with the resolve to die.”
Alin starts slowly walking towards the man.
“What is your name, human?”
“That’s something I only give to those opponents I respect! You’re nothing but demon scum. You’re unworthy of life, how could you be worthy of my name!?”
Boastful, empty slogans. A patriot with a bland soul.
The man that Alin has been fighting hasn’t been wearing a helmet thus far. Alin can still see his expressions.
Even right now, with such boastful words, Alin can see the sweat, the hint of panic, the slow realization that these may be his last moments.
It appears that if the man doesn’t put his helmet on, he won’t live to regret it. Alin already could have sliced through his face many times over.
The man takes hold of his helmet which dangles from his chest plate by a metal chain. He places it on his head cautiously, making sure not to take his eyes off of Alin.
But Alin doesn’t wish to hurry things up just yet.
Alin has a tactic when facing an enemy he wishes to extract information from. He attacks with the intention to dash their hopes.
Perhaps his enemies have the feeling that they can fight back for a while. But as that feeling is slowly chipped away, it is replaced by a despair that works to his advantage.
The last thing Alin needs is someone who would try to withstand his interrogation tactics for too long.
The nameless holy knight raises his hands, his palms pointing at Alin. Alin doesn’t stop his walking pace, but he doesn’t increase it either.
“Urtil Dola!”
The man shouts this phrase as Alin witnesses masses of light form in both his hands. White light. Light as bright as the sun. But the spell is not a blinding one.
The light circles around a center right in front of the man’s hands, draining into it as if the center were a whirlpool. The center coalesces into a cone-shaped light missile which is spinning as well, faster and faster, while continuing to blind his surroundings.
“Hm. Not a bad attack. Not a bad tactic when you’re facing one of my kin...”
Light magic is a very effective magic against the children of Azazelin. Not light itself but light created from mana. Unlike fire magic in which physical fire is created as a byproduct of a mana manipulation, light magic is mana transformed directly into light.
It interferes destructively with the mana that makes up the structure of a demon’s body.
The cone of light is fired at Alin. It is a magic attack fired at the speed of light, with no way for Alin to dodge at this range if he didn’t already get out of the way directly before it was fired.
The light mana hits Alin’s face. Not a scratch. Alin laughs.
“Nice try, nice try! You’ll have to do a lot better than that!”
With any other child of Azazelin, even divine generals, a point blank hit to the face with a light magic attack of this caliber would result in their brain being liquified.
But, Alin is not merely a child of Azazelin. The children of Azazelin normally reproduce just like humans do, generation after generation. All demons are mortal with lifespans about the same as the average human.
But, Alin Acquaphon Savitar, the Immortal Emperor, has been directly created by the goddess Azazelin herself.
She created him to administer the Supreme Azazelin Empire while she focused on larger-scale issues.
Alin sees the man before him running away as fast as he can.
Running is smart… Even if his heart is a grey mush of patriotic hatred, this human is not an idiot.
Alin calmly sprints to intercept him. Alin grabs the man’s back and holds his body against a tree. The man does nothing in retaliation. Alin removes the man’s helmet.
The man has a smiling expression. A wide grin showing teeth.
“Hm? Are you alright? Has my display of power made you go insane?”
“It’s useless, fool! I’ve already applied my pain nullity spell! Now no matter how long you torture me, there’s no way I’ll give any information to you! Mutilate my body, remove my arms, ruin my handsome face, it doesn’t matter! You can’t kill me without notifying my teammates! You’ve already lost!”
Alin looks at the man’s face. It is true that Alin cannot kill this man. The surrounding holy knights will definitely have a spell that relays the death of any of the other holy knights, let alone the knight captains, archbishops and cardinals.
It is quite a simple universal spell that cannot be used to track a holy knight’s location but can tell the holy knights about the fate of their comrades should they die.
If Alin kills this man, Alin’s presence in the vicinity might be more easily detected. Some of the heroes might be emergency teleported right then and there...
“Hm. But what about your comrades? Couldn’t I just leave you here and find one of them?”
“Do you really have that kind of time? I doubt it! The patrolling heroes don’t even know the exact location of what it is you’re looking for, only I, their leader, know that!! Even if you’re the immortal emperor, you’d never survive a confrontation against our numbers! You’ll never even find where we’re hiding them!!”
This one probably doesn’t know about my sensory abilities… The federation might think there’s someone on my side who can sense mana concentrations but he might not realize it’s me… I’ve already found where the holy knights are hiding anyways…
Alin is close enough to sense the holy knights preparing something on the top of the mountain. He can sense hundreds at its peak.
But, Alin cannot sense how many holy knights or heroes are in the mountain. His sensory abilities do not allow him to penetrate solid rock.
Alin also definitely needs to know their forces. If they have any powerful humans, any retired heroes… there could be trouble.
Alin needs information and he is at an impasse. Well, not really.
Alin starts laughing.
“How interesting, holy knight! You’ve made yet another reasonable choice! Pain nullity magic you say?”
“Y-Yes… Pain nullity. You cannot harm me. My sense of pain might as well be off, demon scum.”
The man struggles in Alin’s grip while pinned on his front against the tree. Alin doesn’t let the man go.
“How interesting. So you used lightning magic to deactivate your ability to sense pain then? I haven’t heard of humans being able to do that.”
“Haha! We’re the superior race, foo--”
Alin touches the man’s neck. A spark is seen traveling through the neck of the man but of course the man cannot feel any pain. The man’s arms and legs go limp.
“...Huh? What did… What did you just do?”
“I’ve paralysed you. You won’t be able to move your body now. I’ve burned the nerves of your spinal cord in charge of your body’s motor functions. Right now, unless you can have someone apply healing magic of the organ reconstruction tier, you’ll never walk again.”
“So… So what, huh? You’re still not going to get anything from me!”
“Actually, that’s where you’re wrong. Human, do you know what pain is?”
“What?”
“Do you know how your body feels pain?”
“W-Who cares, demon scum?”
“Well, let me enlighten you. Pain comes from a part of the brain. There is a section of your brain that is stimulated when your body feels pain. When limbs fly off, when torture is applied, when a woman gives birth, signals are sent to this part of the brain to tell the person about it. This is research my mother has passed down to me.”
“And? So what?”
“Well, I suppose the point is that if I can stimulate this specific section of your brain, even if you’re only a head without sensation throughout your entire body, I can force you to feel the pain of your entire body on fire, or your skin being flayed, your balls being torn off. And because nothing is actually happening to your real body, I can make you experience those sensations over and over and over… which brings me to my final question… Have you ever heard of pain magic? It’s something I’m very good at.”
The man starts sweating profusely. His expression turns into one of panic.
“So just think about it. I have you in my complete control. You cannot move your body. You cannot kill yourself. And I could simulate fire burning your eyes out or the sensation of your penis being cut off or the sensation of giving birth, ironically enough… That last one is not going to be easy to handle. So the only question is… do you want to give me the information I need? Or do you wish to experience the true way I treat my enemies? By the way, the longest I’ve needed for interrogation is about… two minutes.”
~
In the end, Alin received all the information he needed. Currently, there are 1957 holy knights at the facility both in the depths of the mountain fortress of Ver, at its peak and patrolling the surrounding area, as well as 14 archbishops.
Alin has learned the fates of the cardinal Gratia, the archbishop Andal and a number of holy knights.
So… Ajax and Shaula killed them. And they truly aren’t heroes and with their actions now, it’s guaranteed they’ll never be… Right after landing here, they have the strength to kill an archbishop and a cardinal. In the future, they’ll certainly progress even farther… Interesting.
Alin also learned the current locations of the heroes. Most of them must be still in the basement levels of the mountain fortress and they’ll all make their way to the peak where about fifteen hundred holy knights are pumping their mana into a teleportation magic circle.
He even learned the best side of the mountain to climb in order to prevent detection (not that they could ever detect his scent or mana).
And Alin has learned something interesting.
Even though the cardinal is dead… it appears that Vilder has arrived in this time of emergency. I might actually have the opportunity to interrogate the pope. I just need to cut off the arm with the teleportation artifact and... I could finally find--
“Ugh...”
Alin looks at the man in front of him. He’s currently on the ground in front of Alin asleep.
He’s probably having a nightmare. I’ll at least give him a peaceful end.
Alin places his right palm over the man’s forehead. A flash. Then…
There… now his mind is destroyed and his organs will start failing in probably a day and a half. He won’t die yet but it should be long enough for me to kill the heroes. Even if they find him, unless the pope himself intervenes, there’s no recovering him.
Alin places some leaves and dirt over his body, hiding the head and armour while leaving his breathing unobstructed. He then uses wind magic to prevent the man’s scent from being detected by predators or other holy knights.
So long as his scent cannot dissipate into the atmosphere, nobody will find him. Even his breathing is silenced.
This man will die here. He will leave this world in such a manner, alone, covered by dirt, his mind not remaining to feel the fear of his impending death.
Perhaps in some ways a mercy.
I’m really glad I didn’t have to torture him, what a bad taste it would leave if I tortured and then killed him. One or the other, let’s try not to break that rule.
The man, realizing Alin had the ability to force him to feel excruciating pain far more than he was trained to withstand, broke immediately without even needing to undergo the pain magic spells.
Alin leaves the scene and the man behind.
He covertly makes his way to the base of the mountain, avoiding the rest of the holy knight patrols, with the intention to climb this mountain Ver to the top.
Alin thinks about the most crucial thing that the man had told him.
So… there’s one of them here… Rurik.
The man had revealed that the awakened divine hero Rurik Grishin escorted the pope here.
Although this hero arrived on Omicron more than a century ago, he is still a capable fighter, still a threat. A man who didn’t die in combat during the Abolitionary Divine War, during the last war or even this current one… it is possible his instincts have been honed even further.
He just hasn’t fought on the front lines like the rest of the human soldiers since Alin’s mother died. In single combat against Alin, he is vastly inferior. But he is a dangerous element. Someone that can at least hinder Alin’s intentions.
If I’m not careful, the pope will be able to escape because of him...
Alin prepares to climb the mountain. But he pauses… he enters a state of deep thought.
Huh… I didn’t find out that knight captain’s name in the end… I guess I didn’t respect him enough to ask a second time…
Sorry for the lateness, I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen too often.
Hey man, I don't mean to be rude here, but when is this side story over? 🤔 Will we see the actual protagonist anytime soon? I've been checking in here and there, but was just curious.
@Ouroboros about three or four more chapters, this side story has some consequences
@Icanica
I get it, man. And I will say that It's good for you to write these as behind the scenes work because it will improve the nuance to your main story, with how other characters interact with your mc's and the backend stuff, but I'm not a fan of several pov changes and I don't think most are. Especially when there's enough that it is short story length word count wise, warranting being uploaded separately as its own thing labeled properly for the lack of connection with the protagonist in the story in a meaningful way, could be cut out entirely, and could be summarized concisely all through a 'show don't tell' lens of the main protagonist perspective.
The truth is that many writers do write side story stuff like this to flesh out characters before they introduce them through the protagonist pov as a backend work, I've done this exercise myself in college, but you rarely see them formally in stories. (Probably because of how unpopular multiple pov is for anyone not already established like Sanderson or George RR Martin. When successfully done it doesn't take up whole chapters and regularly intersects with the mc pov. Being absolutely necessary for the narrative or else it would be like unreliable narrator without it.)
I will probably skip or skip ahead three or four chapters from now, but man? Even when I read Stormlight Archive's I only read Kalladin chapters. I use to think that wasn't common, but now after years of reading, writing, and networking in groups or on websites like this I know from experience that it's rare for people to like multiple pov changes. Sure there's a small minority that doesn't mind it or even prefer it, but they're not really all that common. Third person is fine though! Anyway... This only got more pronounced for me after reading lots of cultivation novels. Sigh... I digress.
What you have isn't so terrible, but you have what feels like a really long and very rough draft. You need to learn to be more concise where it is needed and more verbose in other settings. You have a big word count for this, but really all that's happened was the actual isekai, escape, and a really weird bandit fight and showdown with the final boss way too early.
Then you also need to learn to plan this stuff you've been writing now beforehand and to weave it naratively as concisely as possible into your plot where you can. Prologue's are normally only one chapter. A chapter length should be 2k-8k words. That means that in one chapter you can get a lot of stuff done and it should be rare that you even need two. You have used more because you lack planning and thus substance to your chapters. Your pacing has suffered because of it.
I would also suggest only uploading on a set schedule of something like Monday to Friday for full time and just three days for a half time. The reason is that you can use those off days to do some backend work with the writing and not get burned out. Not that I don't like getting them every day,but it isn't sustainable. Also, you'll build up a decent backlog that way.
Anyway I hope this meager criticism and advice is decent fuel for you in some way. Good luck, man.
@Ouroboros I’ll try to keep the pov changes to a minimum but the story would suffer a lot if there weren’t any of those. If I were to show them, that might work for some of it but big things happen elsewhere in this story, especially on earth. I’ve planned the big parts of the story, just not the smaller details. You’re probably right about changing the schedule, I’ll try to figure that out as well.
@Icanica
Those big things don't matter if they don't affect the protagonist. *shrugs*
It's not to say they aren't mildly interesting on their own, but if you can't have them interact directly with your main protagonist narrative there's no point.
@Ouroboros I'll just push back that on there being no point. It's all about the character development and larger political machinations. Eventually this will reach the protagonists. It would not be wise of me to leave out the stuff that happens here. Some characters will also disappear and reappear in later sub-arcs and arcs down the road as well and I want their details to be fleshed out at an early stage so some of these changes will make sense.
The character development of the supporting characters including the demon emperor and the heroes is a big part of this story, it can't be complete action all the time. The bandit fight and the encounter with Alin is for that purpose as well. The purpose of the bandit fight specifically is for them to meet the humans of this world with completely different values from their home world and the cold demon emperor who was traveling to the summoning location. Some of these supporting characters will return to interact with the protagonists with natural development. The side story should be shorter that's true, but that's my issue with release schedule. After this sub-arc, I'll reconfigure my schedule so I don't release things haphazardly.
When we return to Ajax and Shaula, there will a slight time skip as well and a good deal of action.
@Icanica
I feel that I would just get into a circular conversation if I replied to that again. I can only refer you to my initial comment up there that already gave you advice for what you mention and ask you to re-read what I said because based on your replies I don't think you have understood or I'm not being effusive enough.
At the end of the day? It's your novel, man. You do what you want. 😆
I only offer my advice because you've seemed amiable before, there is some soul to this novel I like, and I mean this with the utmost respect but I noticed that the novel isn't kicking off well viewership-wise.
I think that's mostly because of the amount of filler content (like these most recent chapters or overly long prologue and intro segment) that you have and the high unlikability of your male protagonist. Some people will just not read at all a period where a protagonist is a beta personality. It's just not popular. Most, it seems, are also reading your first chapter and dropping immediately. At least that's what your statistics say when I look at them. Which I think is a shame. I haven't loved this novel, especially now, but I do think you have it in you to be one of the better ones on this site if you stick with it.
All I can say is good luck and use it if you want. Don't if you don't. But the advice is there. 😁
@Ouroboros I definitely appreciate the advice and I am following your recommendations more than you might realize. In future side story arcs, I'll definitely try to fit into three or four long chapters maximum rather than a number of small chapters like now. I will be sticking through writing this out and probably editing the story probably after I finish the first arc, it's my first real creative pursuit and I'm really enjoying the process! I haven't actually written anything before.
@Icanica
I can tell, you don't have the formative structure of MLA in your work, but you've done well with other things. The combat, powers, and your education that bleeds through here or there in scenes are pretty good. Having two protagonists is fairly difficult to pull off. There's this writer you should check out that is very good at it and does ethical characters in a dark place well. Apollos Thorne. I think there's much you can learn from him. When Heavens Laws comes out near the end of this month, you should really check that one out.