Chapter 18
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Even with her best efforts to conceal her inner turmoil, Watson’s normally scowling face showed a surprising amount of concern for Jane. She wanted to look in the mirror and see what exactly had tipped him off, but decided against it. The last thing she needed right now was another pang of self-loathing.

She’d just made out with a boy for the first time in her life, and it had all been a sham. A ruse. Something born entirely of desperation and paranoia.

Ryder’s phone was a dull weight in her pants pocket. If all of this was wrong, and it turned out that Ryder had indeed been telling her the truth, she hoped he would forgive her.

“Y’alright?” Watson asked.

The headlights illuminated the empty road before them, sidewalks bathed in off-orange light, the cracks seeming deeper than they were during the day. It felt like another world, one devoid of people.

“I got his phone instead,” said Jane, her tone even. “The plan wasn’t gonna work.”

Watson’s hands were at ten-and-two on the wheel, and a recently extinguished cigarette smoked faintly from the ashtray between them. He looked like he was going to say something, but Jane interrupted him.

“It was the tech.”

“Huh?” asked Watson.

“The sim it’s- well, his phone doesn’t work with it. So much for as good as it gets.” The sentence ended with slightly more bitterness than Jane intended, and she could practically feel Watson’s sidelong glance at her from the driver seat. Jane looked away, guiltily. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. She’d chosen this path at every turn.

The street was flowing by slowly, the orange street-light forming faint halos against the dark of the car windows.

Jane lifted the folder of evidence from the dashboard, and rifled through it once more. Of particular interest to her were the photographs Watson had taken. They were shot from a distance, and obviously captured by a tiny digital camera. The resolution was abysmal, and Jane could just barely make out the facial features of the men in the pictures. Mr. Jackson, shaking hands with the principle of Alexander High. Mr. Jackson, checking his watch. Mr. Jackson at the mayoral election, waving with both hands as he is elected in by a landslide vote. His smile was radiant, and perfect. Practiced, much like Ryder’s was, but with none of the youthful optimism and friendliness that the younger Jackson held.

Ryder’s confused face from beneath flashed through Jane’s mind. His eyes had been wide, a mix of desire and curiosity tinging them. She shook her head.

The feeling was there once more, scratching against her waking mind, the unconscious desiring to be heard. Something was off, but she did not know what. The feeling was a scab and her thoughts would not stop picking at it, obsessively itching against something it shouldn’t be.

Jane blinked, bleary and strung out. She was so tired.

Watson maneuvered the car into the parking lot of the same convenience store from last night. Unsurprisingly, it was empty, though a single employee manned the cashier. Jane followed his slow movements through the windows of the store.

Watson reached for the keys reflexively, intending to shut off the engine, but looked at Jane instead. She was quickly becoming uncomfortable with how gently he was treating her now, as if she were suddenly made of glass.

“Guessing you’re staying here?” he asked, one eyebrow raised.

Jane looked through the windscreen, the store’s neon sign glowing strongly through the tinting of the glass. She nodded.

Watson lowered his hand from the keys with a grunt. With a bang, he shut the door behind him and strode across the parking lot. Jane watched him as he did, one hand resting on the folder in her lap. She felt the rough texture beneath her fingertips in a half-hearted attempt to distract her mind, attempting to overcome the quickly building scream in her chest.

And then she hung her head, and roared. It was a rough, guttural cry, heavy with emotion. Her body shook from the effort, and her hair fell around the sides of her face, obscuring her vision. The sound was all the more amplified from within the vehicle, and it pierced her ears. The idling of the engine was a mere whisper in comparison to the fury in her voice. She was frustrated, and overwhelmed.

Why did it have to be like this? Why did she have to feel things for Ryder Jackson? Why was everything in her life so difficult?

She wished she were a machine. A computer, composed entirely of logic and binary decision making. She wished she were devoid of her fear, and her loneliness, and her obsessive crush for a boy that was objectively a rich delinquent. A rich delinquent whom she doubted actually cared for her.

Ryder’s phone seemed all the more heavy as it rested against her thigh, trapped between the door and her leg. Jane contemplated taking it out and trying to break into it, but realized that she would need her tools for that. She had nothing on her.

Mere moments later, a rush of wind filled the car as Watson opened the door. He sidled into the driver’s seat with a grunt, a paper bag supported with one hand.

He glanced at her, dug around inside, and handed her some sort of candy bar. “Here, my daughter used to love this stuff.”

Jane blinked in confusion, but took it all the same. It was such a strange gesture, considering everything. She knew she couldn’t trust him, no matter how much he seemed to be on her side. He was obviously hiding something from her. But that didn’t mean she disliked him. In contrast to his intimidating appearance, Jane found that he was no different than most men his age. Gun-toting and dangerous police work aside, he could be kind and gentle in the right situation.

“Thanks,” she said, her voice hoarse from the screaming mere minutes before.

Watson grunted again, and disengaged the parking break.

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“Take this,” Watson said, reaching across the passenger seat and handed Jane the pile of police documents.

Jane took them, and tucked them beneath her shoulder. She raised an accusatory eyebrow at Watson.

“Alright, alright. I didn’t expect that his phone was incompatible with the tech. Come on, you can’t blame me for that, can you?” Watson asked.

Jane sighed, her indignation fading. It was true. Neither of them could have predicted that particular turn of events. Even with Watson’s extensive surveillance, a detail as small as Ryder’s model of cell-phone would have been hard to notice.

And secretly, it hadn’t been as bad as she thought. There were worst people you could have your first kiss with. She just wished it could have gone differently.

“When will I see you again?” Jane asked, raising her voice over the idling engine.

Even if the plan had been almost entirely derailed, she still needed Watson, whether it be for information or protection.

“I’ll contact you if something comes up. In the mean time, go through the phone. See what you can lift,” Watson said.

Jane nodded, and shut the door. Behind the tinted windows, she could feel Watson’s eyes resting on her for a moment. Then the engine roared to life.

Already turning away, Jane was surprised when the window rolled down with its characteristic buzz. “Jane. Good work, by the way,” Watson called through the semi-opened window.

Jane nodded, unsure of what to say. It seemed she didn’t need to say anything at all, as Watson shut the window, and stepped on the gas.

She waved goodbye to Watson as his SUV drove away. She couldn’t tell if he had seen the gesture, with the dark windows and all.

Ryder’s ancient artifact of a phone hung heavily in her pocket, and she was all the more aware of what she had done to get it. The cost of her paranoia. But she had to know. She had to be sure. If he had lied to her before, it was possible he would lie to her again. And she couldn’t take that.

The lights from within her home were still on, despite the hour. Jane took her keys from her pocket and unlocked the door, stepping inside.

“Mom?” Jane called.

“Hey, baby,” her mother said from somewhere within the kitchen.

Jane rounded the threshold, catching sight of her mother in her usual spot at the table. She was dressed up for once, or, dressed up in comparison to what she usually wore. It seemed she had just arrived home as well. Her handbag rested on the table before her.

“The meeting dragged on and on,” her mother said. Her eyes scanned Jane from head to toe. “Oh, you look nice.”

“Yeah… Victoria did her best,” Jane replied.

“How’d the date go?”

Jane bit her lip, wondering how best to respond to that question. “He’s not what I expected, but, somehow, exactly what I expected.”

Her mother laughed. “That’s men for you.”

Jane smiled. She couldn’t remember the last time she had smiled at her mother. Or the last time her mother had been sober two nights in a row. Maybe things were changing for the better.

Ryder’s phone in her pocket said otherwise.

“You know, you’ve made quite a splash at the school, it seems. The mayor stopped me to ask about you!” said her mother, beaming with pride.

Jane’s eyes snapped to her mothers, intense. “What?”

“Oh, he was going on and on about how you’re an up-and-coming star pupil. He even mentioned funding a computer club, and appointing you as the leader.”

Jane swallowed. This was becoming uncomfortably dangerous for her. They’d even involved her mother, someone who had absolutely nothing to do with this. She needed to get the upper hand over Jackson, somehow. Needed to find a way to protect herself. Hopefully, the phone would give her something to use.

“Did he say anything else, mom?” Jane asked, dreading the response.

Her mother squinted, seeming to try and remember the conversation. “Just something about how I should help you stay on the right path. Such a nice man. It’s too bad about what happened to his wife.”

Jane had no illusions as to what stay on the right path meant. It was a heavily veiled threat, sure, but it was a threat nonetheless.

“I’ve gotta work on something in my room, mom,” Jane said turning on her heel. There was no time to waste.

Her mother was surprised by her sudden change in demeanor, and took a moment to respond. “Oh! Okay. Good night, baby. Sleep well.”

Jane threw off her soiled clothes as soon as she shut her door, wasting no time. She would have to wash the grass stains off the shirt before returning them to Victoria, she thought, while scanning her room for what she would need.

Her teddy bear sat at the base of her bed, arms extended forward, as if placating an unseen entity. Jane stooped, and collected it. If Ryder had been lying to her, she would need something soft to hug. Or violently dismember.

From the pair of jeans on the floor, she drew Ryder’s phone out. Pressing the power button revealed a simple four digit code. She tried the usual culprits. One-two-three-four. Sixty-nine sixty-nine. A quad of zeroes. The phone remained obstinately locked, a red triangle on the screen warning her that she had only one more try before it locked itself for five minutes. This called for more invasive tools.

She sat in her chair, and rolled it towards her laptop, which remained where she had left it on her desk. From one of the smaller compartments built into her desk, she withdrew a standard issue phone-to-socket cable. It would allow her laptop to interface with the phone, and bypass the lock.

The very reason she had to do this in the first place was also the reason it would be so easy. Because of how outdated the phone was, cracking it would take no effort at all. An irony that Jane found herself simultaneously hating and loving.

The phone’s lock screen was immediately replaced by a string of text against a dark background. Lines of annotations and progress reports grew upon the black, quickly pushing the previous string of text upwards. The bypass was starting.

Jane felt the familiar rush buzzing through her bones. The feeling of power that hacking someone else’s private life gave her. She was beyond the point of questioning whether she was in the moral right or not. Ryder’s father was targeting her mother, and it was possible that Ryder himself was still lying to her. That everyone was lying to her. She wasn’t safe.

The feeling of Ryder’s body pressed against her own flashed in her mind, like a mirage. Now that the moment was over, she could look at it objectively. Could relive it, inside her head. The softness of his lips, the hunger as he kissed her back. The way his abs had contracted beneath her as she reached her hand lower and low-

Focus, Jane. Now is not the time.

A circular loading image spun endlessly on the phone’s screen, indicating that she had managed to reset the security code to its default sequence. A simple internet search later, and the phone welcomed her to its home-screen.

Ryder’s background image was that of himself and two friends, all sporting the bulky padding of their football uniforms. Jane recognized the other two from the drug seminar a few days ago.

There were only a few applications installed on the phone, evidence that Ryder didn’t use it as often as other teenage boys did. Jane felt a passing admiration at that fact.

She brought up his texts. The voice was chastising her again, but she ignored it. It was becoming easier and easier to ignore the voice.

Most of the messages that Ryder had sent and received were that of a completely mundane nature. Plans to meet up, assignment answers, some light flirting. Nothing like what Jane was searching for. Nothing incriminating.

She stopped, putting the phone down. It was strange, she thought, it was almost as if she wanted Ryder to be lying to her. Like she was looking for an excuse to cut ties with him.

Thumbnail between her teeth, Jane forced herself to admit that she was afraid of the feelings she had for Ryder. There was no denying it now. She liked him in a way that surpassed a simple crush, or even the voyeuristic obsession she held for him before they’d met. The passing attraction that had driven her into hacking him had blossomed into something more.

“Oh, god,” she muttered, between bites of her nail. She was in deep now. When had her life become such a mess?

The teddy bear was a comforting sensation in her lap, its eyes reflecting the faint glow of her laptop screen. A blue-and-gray pop-up reading “Task successful” reminded her of what she’d done. Of how far she had come from just guessing library account passwords and staring at Ryder’s smiling profile picture.

The call logs of the phone, on the other hand, were something else entirely. Despite the seemingly active social life Ryder had, as well as the mess of texts on his phone, there were only two people that ever called Ryder. Beatrice, and his father.

Ryder’s father was a jerk, something Ryder had said with absolute earnest. Jane’s imagination could only conjecture at what the two of them could possibly be talking about, considering Ryder’s animosity towards the older man. Could it be orders? Arguments? Something entirely mundane?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft pinging noise, coming from the phone. Jane nearly dropped it in surprise. It was a message from Beatrice. Her familiar profile picture popped up on the screen, a bright blue text-box next to it.

[11:25]Beatrice: bossman filled u in? mole hunting time lol

[11:26]Beatrice: BTW how did ur date go… u never told me who the girl is

Jane’s lips pressed together. Ryder had told Beatrice about their date? The idea made her uncomfortable. Even if he hadn’t indicated that it was Jane herself.

For a moment, she toyed with the idea of sending a reply, but thought better of it. As much as she wanted to get back at Beatrice, she had to maintain her cover.

She giggled at her own thoughts. Maintain cover, as if she were some sort of super-spy.

It would only be a matter of time until Ryder realized his phone was missing. Taking it had been a split-moment decision, and she hadn’t had a follow up plan. Should she just leave it where they had been? Would he know that Jane had been the one to take it?

The search so far had proven fruitless. It seemed Ryder had been telling the truth. He really did hold only a small position in the group. He was practically an ordinary teenage boy.

A stab of guilt hit Jane in the chest. She’d stolen an ordinary teenage boy’s phone, tricked him, lied to him, and then gone through his messages. She would never learn, would she?

Another notification buzzed through the phone in her hand, an application reminding Ryder to re-enter his password. Curiously, Jane tapped on the pop-up.

The screen was filled with a simplistic log-in screen, requesting yet another four digit code. The application itself was titled “SecretNotez”, with a stylized pencil acting as its icon. Jane blinked, thumb hovering over the screen. A message was visible beneath the stylized pencil, informing her that a single incorrect password would delete the contents held inside. Obviously, whatever it was, Ryder wanted to protect it.

Ordinary teenage boy her butt. This was anything but ordinary.

The cell-phone was still connected to Jane’s laptop with the thin wire between them. Jane used her trackpad to access the inner contents of the phone, and navigated to the particular folder SecretNoteZ was held in.

Even with a cursory check, she could tell this was something else entirely. It was heavily encrypted, with several redundancies that would ensure self-destruction before she could ever break her way in. SecretNoteZ was a veritable digital safe, unlike anything Jane had encountered in Alexander before.

Her hands fell away from the laptop keys in defeat.

She had been right, it seemed. Ryder was hiding something. Perhaps he had lied to Jane after all. Either way, there was no way for her to know. It would take specialized tools and a powerful computer to safely undo the encryption on the application.

Jane glanced at the borrowed jeans on the floor, stray bits of grass caught in the cuffs. At least the night hadn’t been a complete waste.

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