Its been almost a month now since Jinha and I have met. That night when he told me that he could possibly get Seung Joon and I together again shocked me and I told him to let me think about it first because I still haven't forgiven myself for what I have done in the past. 

Jinha... I don't know why but he keeps kissing me and believe me when I say he is a great kisser but even so... This doesn't seem right. I never suspected Jinha to be gay and I think I should ask him when I see him - he doesn't seem like the type but then again, my handsome Seung Joon doesn't look or seem gay at all. Well fuck it, I seem gay but no one wants to believe it heck all other gays can see it but why can't my fuckin family?
~~~
I, Moon So Young am hesitant about seeing my ex because I don't know what to expect. I am currently heading over to my friends' house to ask him for advice about my situation and I mainly want some clarification - someone to tell me that it's okay to see Seung Joon, but I don't want to be rejected, you know? Being rejected by the one you love is not a feeling I want to experience once again, in this lifetime.
~~~
The friend I am visiting is also gay. He is more on the flamboyant side where I am a very watered down version of him. His name is Jwa Hae Il. Haeil and I met at the gay club I frequented after returning from London after my studies.

In the beginning, he was a bit too much for my liking but I grew fond of him because he is the only gay friend I have that I can rely on, the rest can be counted as acquaintances, which some, I met through Haeil and the others I met at the club too.

Haeil and I are separated by a year, him being older than me. What I found out was that Haeil is very experienced when it comes to dating, this is why I tend to constantly look to him for advice - I also almost all the time end up getting my advice from his man Chwe Kyung Wan.

The two of them have been dating for about ten years and have this bond that I wish I had with someone. The two of them don't need to speak but will understand what the other wants or needs. Sometimes I wonder how the two of them look during sex because it's impossible for me to image the two of them together in bed but unlike a normal person, Haeil will continuously complain that Kyung Wan overdoes it in bed... Ah, but he does continuously apologise for being insensitive due to me being single and all.

Kyung Wan occasionally introduced me to his friends who were single trying to get me to date thanks to Hae-il's continuous begging.

I don't blame him but he needs to understand that my heart belongs to someone else and if I cannot be with him, then I'd rather not date. It might just be me but I have this thing in me that says being with someone other than my love Seung Joon, is the same as me cheating on him - this might just be a misconception on my conscious.

Oh, and did I mention, Kyung Wan is three years younger than Haeil - maybe it really is love.

~~~
It's 12:23 pm right now and I just arrived at Haeil and Kyung Wan's place. As usual, I was greeted with a squeamish whine from my eccentric friend.

Haeil, "Ahh!! My love, you are just in time, I'm making salmon for lunch, want a plate?"

So Young, "Why not?" 

I followed him to the kitchen, greeting his lazy lover laying on the couch watching sports. He isn't really lazy, its Saturday today and he works hard during the week, but the reason why I call him lazy is that he has this thing about him that when he is being lazy and you look at him too long, you end up getting lazy. I thought it was just me until I heard Haeil yell at him for it.
~~~
Sitting in the kitchen on a high chair that my short body can barely climb, I made myself comfortable while Haeil brought over three glass, placing them down in front of me. 

The first glass is filled with water, the second glass is filled with passionfruit and lemonade and the third glass is filled with mango juice.

Starting with the mango juice, I gulped it down because I really loved mangos. Haeil carried a tray with a plate with the salmon, a salad and also three glasses arranged just like mine over to his lover - that lazy ass jumped up immediately, kissing him then downed the glass of water like it was nothing.

Pleased with his response, Haeil returned to the kitchen area and asked me about my day while he plated the green salad and salmon for me. Bringing both mine and his over to the counter, he grabbed the seat beside me and we started devouring the green salad.

After lunch, the two of us headed out to the back yard and sat down on the chairs on the veranda, laying side by side, Haeil looked at me saying, "Last night you said that you need advice, what did you need advice for?"

I sat up on the lounging chair, crossing my legs after pulling my hoodie down. Looking at him, I was slightly nervous but he is the only one I could turn too.

So Young, "Remember when I first told you about my ex, I mentioned his family members, his four brothers and sister?"

Haeil, "Yeah, what about them?"

So Young, "At the fundraiser last month I met his youngest brother, Jinha... well more like, Jinha recognised that it was me first."

Haeil raised a brow after hearing me say this, "How did he recognise that it was you?"

So Young, "I asked him too about it and he said that its because I noticed that he was panicking."

Haeil, "Huh?"

So Young, "You see, Jinha, when he was young, had this thing where if he was confused or frustrated, it wouldn't show on his face but instead it showed in his eyes, I had a tendency to read him while he was younger this way and that's how he recognised me."

Haeil, "That makes no sense love, although you can easily read peoples expressions, this is a tad bit impossible if you ask me."

So Young, " Its mostly because I am the only one able to read him."

Haeil pursed his lips making a straight line while saying, "Well shit So Young, why didn't you just say this from the beginning, instead of making this story long?"

I laughed at his nonsense, I do tend to be a little dramatic when I explain stuff in story form.

So Young, "Ah! Just listen." I whined.

Haeil, "Yeah, yeah, continue mistress, Moon."

So Young, "Okay so, he took me back to his place and we caught up, I told him what happened to me and he told me more about his family. Remember I told you that we tried searching for their parents but couldn't find them?"

Haeil, "Mn."

So Young, "Well the thing is, Jinha said that he too doesn't know the real reason behind it all. He said that for a long time he thought his sister was his mother and Seung Joon was his father, but after they moved they saw their parents but not as much as how we see ours, they only got visits from their parents when it was one of their birthdays."

Haeil frowned, "What nonsense is that?"

So Young, "I didn't ask questions, I just listened. And another thing is that Jinha blames himself for Seung Joon and I breaking up."

Haeil, "Continue explaining."

So Young, "From what I understood from his explanation is that their mother is a Chinese lady that was kidnapped on her way to school one morning and ended up on a ship to Japan, then she was bought by a family and that family's master took a liking to their mother and slept with her about one and a half years after she started working there as their maid and mind you he was already married and had kids with his wife."

Haeil, "Ah shit, what are you telling me?"

So Young, "You better not tell anyone!"

Haeil, "Who am I going to tell?"

So Young, "Kyung!"

Haeil, "Well that is a given."

I shook my head, I am so glad that these two just gossip to each other and not the rest of the world.

So Young, "Anyways... I am telling you all of this because its too much and even writing it all down won't ease my emotions."

Haeil, "Alright, alright, continue."

So Young, "So their mother ended up falling pregnant twice. The first time she gave birth to a son and the second time twin daughters. After this, things became troublesome for the master because he had an angry wife who just wanted to kill their mother and he had their mother who was emotionally unstable and a sixteen-year-old. Jinha said that that man didn't want to let her go because their children were still very young and needed their mother but because the environment was toxic and he didn't want her to suffer anymore, he contacted his friend here in South Korea and asked if she could stay with them."

Haeil, "Ah this is fucked up, so she was kidnapped, sold off then had children with her "Owner" then became mentally unstable and again sent away?"

So Young, "Yeah, so she ended up coming to South Korea and lived with this family. That mans friend is their father Mr Kang!"

Haeil, "What the fuck?"

So Young, "I know right? So according to what Jinha said he knows is that his mother was getting counselling and Mr Kang knew everything. Along with her counselling, she was also given a job as a maid but she would out of the way, like to herself and not where anyone could see her because she was dealing with her issues, so one day Mr Kang wanted a bottle of wine and their mother was in the wine cellar doing stock-taking of the wines they had and needed to buy because there was a function that the Kang's were going to have so because she was always to herself, this was the perfect job for her.

So Mr Kang went down into the cellar and there she was, a pretty seventeen-year-old that he had never seen before."

Haeil, "What do you mean by that? Why hasn't he seen her before?"

So Young, "His butler took care of everything for him. Anyways so according to Jinha, both his father and the other man were still young but were married early because of the arranged marriage system and the successor bullshit."

Haeil, "Their mother must be fuckin beautiful if she got both me to fall for her."

So Young, "Jin Hee is beautiful and Seung Joon always said that shes as beautiful as their mother."

Haeil, "I don't care! What happened next?"

So Young, "Mr Kang didn't say anything, he took the bottle of wine and went back upstairs... but he ended up asking about her finding out that it was his friends' mistress..."

Continues in the next chapter.