6. EDMUND CODRIN: Attraction
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Well, I do have interests in young boys but it’s a secret that is not entirely a secret to some. There’s only one other secret that is most sacred to me. And I still remember the way she looks even back then. Only one woman in this entire world whom had captured my heart from the beginning. Only one whom I had felt safe to be with my whole life. Some people might not get it. No. Most people won’t get it but that is fine by me. What I do with my life, time, and heart has nothing to do with them anyway. And they have no say in it either because I’m in charge. They won’t even have the guts to disagree with me unless they’d like to be gutted by me and fed with their shits till they die. They wouldn’t want to experience something as inconvenience as that.

 

Lucky for me, I’m married to a woman of similar interest to mine now. In young boys that is. “Why is it so quiet in here?” Jessica posed a question as she entered the dining hall. The boys were sitting in their places at the dining table with their mouths shut tight. There’s an amused look on Caleb’s face while Lucca’s face is flushed red. If I had not known any better, I would have said that they had done something quite naughty before we stepped into the house based on the suspicious nature of their manners.

 

“Nothing, mother. We’re just done with breakfast,” replied Caleb. I honestly don’t really fancy looking at his handsome face. He is suspicious and seems cunning to my eyes. I feel that if I care too much about the boy, he’ll top over me and will take over everything I ever built.

 

Lucca, on the other hand, is sitting quietly at his own place. He didn’t even turn to look at us, standing in front of the door. For a moment there, it was almost as if he wasn’t there at all. I took a step closer to him and run my fingers through his soft blond hair. He seems surprised by the gesture and turns to look at me quickly. “Are you alright, my Lucca?” I asked with the softest voice that I can produce, looking at him with my eyes narrowed.

 

He takes a hold of my hand lightly and pulls it away from his hair softly. “I’m okay, papa,” he answered. “Welcome home.” Though it was a bit late, he greeted me still. It was then that I notice the looks in Caleb’s eyes. At me. It was full of hate. He was gritting his teeth. At me. At me, his step-father. It outrages me. But I can’t help to understand his reason why. Therefore, to not give in to his insipid thoughts of ever thinking of having my one and only Lucca, I need to show him who’s bigger here. I need to show him whose Lucca belongs to. So I lean down while I lift up Lucca’s face with the tip of my finger and kiss him softly on his lips.

 

The small peck of a kiss lasted for only a few seconds since Lucca had quickly pulled himself away from me and pushed me off of him. “Papa?” He called out, as if trying to shake some sense into me, looking around at everyone. His face turns red. How cute.

 

“Yes?” I merely answered. He only looks at me with a surprised and disbelief face at my nonchalant response.

 

“Edmund! What were you thinking?!” Jessica yelled. She looks at me angrily.

 

“What?” I asked with an innocent face. “At least I don’t hide it,” I defended myself. “I know what I want,” I added. “But you… Do you think what you did to your own son is much of a secret after all?” I asked, provoking her. At that, I heard a screech sound of a chair dragged on the floor. It’s Caleb. He had stood up and left the dining hall in rage. And I heard steps in pursuit of him. I watch as my Lucca runs towards where Caleb was headed. Something unsettling settled on my heart. I can’t let this happen. I can’t let him have Lucca. In the background, I heard white noise of Jessica rambling madly at me. I can’t care less. I know what I want and I’ll get what I want.

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